Warning! Spoilers for Full Metal Panic, The Second Raid.
Rain, by kmf
Rating T
Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Panic in any way, shape or form. Darn it.
Chapter One
Kaname looked out of the window and frowned. It was raining and the sky was a
deep, dirty grey; low and heavy. It wasn?t weeping, but crying heavily. Thick
drops of woe which fell straight and hard to the ground in the absence of wind.
Chidori Kaname hated rain.
It never used to upset her. Once upon a time it was merely another type of
weather; sometimes annoying, sometimes refreshing. Natural. Expected.
Not now.
Grasping the curtains, she dragged them across the balcony window shutting out
the weather from view. Her head bowed low as she tried to stop the feelings of
panic that were welling up inside her. The racing of her heart, shortness of
breath and dryness of her mouth all combining to make her feel ill.
The feeling of being watched and hunted flickered around her.
With difficulty Kaname took a deep breath and relaxed her grip on the curtains,
willing herself to let the fabric go. She turned to the kitchen.
It was very early. Her alarm had not even gone off yet, and normally she would
be sound asleep in the comfort of her bed, reluctant to open her eyes, lethargic
and warm. But today was a rainy day and somehow she had sensed it. The feelings
of disquiet and unease had crept into her dreams and woken her. She had all but
sprung from the bed, adrenalin giving her speed, and she had grasped her
baseball bat in her hands, standing in a fighting stance, before her eyes had
even opened.
When they had focused, they had turned towards her balcony door knowing that she
would see rain and gloom.
And fear.
Moving quietly into the kitchen, her bare feet making no noise on the wooden
floor, she filled a kettle with water and switched it on frowning as she stood
to watch it boil. Tea would sooth her nerves. Tea would make her relax enough to
be able to dress in her uniform, crease her mouth into a smile and unlock her
front door ready to brave the outside world.
Food she would forgo. She knew from experience that anything ingested whilst
feeling so panicked would turn to lead in her stomach and quickly reappear. She
had no appetite on rainy days.
Outside, the rain got heavier, pattering lightly against the fragile panes of
glass that separated her from the outside world.
After finishing half a cup of tea, Kaname wandered into her bathroom intent on
having a quick wash before she dressed. She glared at the shower as she entered
the room, and put the plug in the sink before filling it with hot water to
splash on her face.
She no longer indulged in showers. She couldn?t stand the feeling of the shower
spray hitting her skin, drenching her hair, running into her eyes. Even when she
had it scalding hot it still reminded her of the cold rain on that day.
Icy.
Hateful.
She scrubbed at her face, trying to push back the memories. The fear. The pain.
The shock of the sensation of her mouth being covered, robbed. Swallowing hard,
she rubbed her mouth with the back of her hand again, wishing she could rub that
memory away.
But worse than all these feelings was the one that threatened to reach up and
stop her breathing.
The overwhelming sense of abandonment.
Souske.
?The only one I trust is you?
She had whispered those words to him in her last moment of true peace and
tranquillity, that last lazy day she and he had shared. His eyes had widened as
he gazed back at her through the mirror that framed them both, his mouth
remaining in it usual unbending line. And she had felt his acceptance.
But still he disappeared. Suddenly, without warning. At the moment when she
needed him most, he was gone leaving her vulnerable, scared and hurting.
It had been explained to her, later. Souske had been ordered to leave, ordered
not to contact her again, ordered not to explain. And Souske was a soldier who
obeyed orders. His orders, his military life, were more important than her.
Blinking, Kaname felt a wave of nausea and she held her hand over her mouth as
the tea that was supposed to sooth threatened to reappear. Swallowing hard, she
tried to calm herself again and block out the thoughts that were causing her so
much distress.
She turned and left the bathroom, scuffing her way back to her bedroom,
collecting her baseball bat on the way. Hugging a pillow to her she sat on the
edge of the bed, her long hair falling over her knees as she rocked slightly
pillow held to her stomach, weapon held in the other hand.
She couldn?t face the rain.
*~*~*~*
It was raining heavily. Souske hated the rain. He wasn?t sure why he hated it.
Possibly it was because it muted sounds and made it difficult to detect
potential threats. The dull greyness of a day such as this made visibility poor,
the tops of buildings swathed in gloom could hide any number of watchers.
He knew it hid Wraith.
Souske?s jaw tightened as he thought of that Mithrill agent. He hated the
thought of another watching Chidori?s every move; Souske was definitely the best
man for the job and didn?t need another, especially one who failed to keep her
from harm on so many different occasions. The last time almost cost her her
life.
He clenched a fist as he recalled the sinking dread and horror when Gould had
told him in Hong Kong that Chidori was dead, that he had arranged the death as a
favour to Souske. He recalled perfectly the satisfaction he felt as he pumped
Gould?s body full of bullets, wishing he could do the same to Wraith, the agent
that was supposed to protect her.
The agent that had failed.
Souske still didn?t know the details; Chidori had refused to talk to him about
what had happened to her to prompt her to run to Hong Kong. Wraith had been
typically silent on the matter commenting by phone only that it had been an
agent of Amalgam who had dispatched the threat to Chidori and that Wraith could
not be held responsible if Chidori went to extreme efforts to evade her watcher.
When pushed Wraith admitted that Chidori had discovered or worked out that her
clothing was being bugged and had enticed a lecherous old man to a love hotel
where she had managed to knock him out, strip and then leave wearing only her
underpants and the old man?s overcoat. Souske had felt both pride and shock at
Chidori?s actions. Pride that she could be so resourceful and shock that she had
managed to evade the one who was supposed to protect her. What if she tried to
evade Wraith again? What if she tried to evade Souske?
?The only one I trust is you?
He had felt good when she said that. A strange warm feeling had filled his
stomach and radiated outward. The feeling had been fleeting though, turning into
anger as he had read his orders; leave Chidori and not contact her again.
He had obeyed. Orders were orders. He hadn?t picked up his cell phone when she
called him from school as he packed up his remaining gear. He had wanted to. He
had not wanted to leave. And he had not, and still did not, really understand
why he had not wanted to leave.
The mission was over, as countless missions had been before. It was time to move
on to the next one. But Chidori?s voice had not left him alone.
?The only one I trust is you?
Those words had haunted him when he returned to base. They distracted and teased
him. They caused his chest to ache and he had been full of an overwhelming need
to return to Chidori, to continue his mission as if it was not already
completed.
Whenever he considered her, his body seemed to react violently, out of control.
It felt lethargic at first, then it burned with anger and pain at the news of
her death. It had evolved into a sharp feeling, intense and frightening when he
had discovered that Gould had lied or been mistaken about her demise.
Chidori had appeared before him in Hong Kong, her face beautiful and expressive,
her eyes flashing with anger. She had not said she missed him, had not rebuked
him for leaving, rather she had proceeded to kick the shit out of him for giving
up on his comrades.
Souske felt his lips twitch slightly at the memory. Chidori had a violent and
passionate temper. Quick to anger and fast to forgive; her emotions mercurial
and more often than not totally incomprehensible to him.
She made him feel alive.
And he needed to protect her.
After the successful completion of the Hong Kong mission he had done what months
ago would have been unthinkable. He had gone before his superiors and demanded
that he continue guarding her. He had first threatened to leave the organisation
and then he had thrown at them his willingness to work on half pay. His request
had been granted though he was unsure if it had been the money that had swayed
them. The gleam in the generals? eyes had been unreadable. He had been returned
to his mission of guarding Chidori and he ought to have been satisfied.
And yet, he wasn?t.
Soon after he had his teacher tear up is notice of withdrawal from school, he
had incurred the wraith of Chidori again. He couldn?t remember exactly what he
had done wrong, but she had rounded on him in the school hallway and started
giving him a tongue-lashing. She had raised a hand in which she clutched a paper
fan in readiness to strike him to emphasise the point that she was making.
He had closed his eyes, flinching waiting for the strike, almost eager for it.
Her slaps, whilst not pain free, rarely hurt for long and he had missed her
energetic fiery displays.
But then, her voice had softened and the expected blow had not arrived. She had
murmured something about things being back to normal and then, when he had
opened his eyes, he had found to his surprise that she was crying. Her eyes were
overflowing and she had grasped the front of his jacket and buried her head
against his chest.
Once again he had felt the painful tightening of his lungs and had been at a
loss to know what to do. Even when Chidori?s friends emerged from heir
classroom, Chidori had remained plastered up against him, sobbing and refusing
to let go.
And all Souske could think of was how her hair smelt of flowers, warm and
relaxing.
Chidori had not been quite herself since that day. Her temper was still cutting,
she told him off when he did things she felt were odd or invasive to her
privacy, regardless of whether it was done to protect her or not. He had found
her watching him, eyes wide as if she couldn?t quite believe he was there. He
would get phonecalls from her late at night to remind him of things he needed to
study for school, but he got a sense that those topics were just an excuse for
her to talk to him.
She had not broken down and cried in front of him again, but often he detected
that her eyes were red from lack of sleep or crying. He had noted her routine
had changed, she no longer took long morning showers but bathed in the evening,
shutting herself away for hours in the only room in her apartment that he could
not listen in to.
Something was not quite right, and as time when on Souske was beginning to
worry.
He sighed, peering out at the rain once again before checking his watch. It was
time for him to leave for school.Chapter Two
The phone ringing loudly made Kaname jump slightly, and she stopped rocking,
dropped the pillow and gripped the bat with both hands, peering towards her
alarm clock. It was past time she normally left to go to school and for a moment
she felt a twinge of guilt for not following her normally regimented routine.
Even if she quickly dressed and ran, she would be late.
The phone rang again, its shrill tone demanding her attention. Lowering the bat,
she picked it up, flipping it open to look at the illuminated display expecting
to see Souske?s caller id displayed.
It was caller unknown.
She stared at if for a moment, her hand grasping the handset tightly, before she
hesitantly touched the answer key and lifted it to her ear.
There was silence.
?Hello??, she questioned, her voice low and tentative. She almost winced at the
fear she heard in it.
A moment?s more silence before a smooth voice questioned
?Why aren?t you out in the rain? You look beautiful in the rain?
She blinked as memories of the Amalgam agent flooded back to her. His peculiarly
pale eyes, his blond hair, his look of detachment as he ordered the death of the
girl who had tried to assassinate Kaname.
?You said you would forgive me.?
Kaname threw the phone from her, watching as it bounced off the wall and closed
ending the call.
She stared at it, blinking and then almost screamed when it rang again. Lifting
the bat she stalked towards it, jaw clenched, debating whether to answer it or
to use the bat to smash the phone into small pieces. Crouching, she opened it
again and blinked as she saw the ID showing it was Souske calling. Opening it,
she lifted it to her ear and heard Souske?s calm neutral voice stating:
?You are late.?
Kaname bit her bottom lip and nodded, not trusting herself to speak without
crying.
?Chidori,? Souske questioned, his voice sounding a little louder than usual.
?I?m??I?m not feeling well?, Kaname murmured, ?I?m not going to school.?
Both statements were fact. She felt like shit and she felt no guilt that she was
lying.
?You should go though, you have missed a lot lately,? Kaname continued.
?Negative,? Souske replied and hung up.
Seconds later, before she had had even time to close her cell phone, a short
sharp rap sounded on the door.
?Chidori, let me in,? Souske?s voice, slightly muffled by the door, sounded
determined.
Kaname stared at the door before looking down at the bat she still grasped in
one hand.
?Chidori,? Souske?s voice continued, ?There is a high probability that you have
been forced to stay home by malicious intervention as you have never taken time
off ill before. You have five seconds to open the door before I force entry.?
Kaname blinked.
?4?
?Go to school!? she called moving towards the door, ?I?m ill!?
?You never miss school,? Souske replied, ?3?
?Of course I have, just not recently!?
?2?
?Souske! Don?t you dare!? Kaname felt her eyebrows twitch in annoyance, one hand
banging against the door to stress just how annoyed.
?1?
?Gah! Ok, ok!? Kaname dropped the bat and, fingers fumbling in her haste,
unlocked the door and swung it open.
Souske had his gun out and his foot raised. They stared at each other before
Souske fluidly pushed past Kaname to peer around the room. Not pausing to take
his shoes off, he moved into the apartment, swiftly moving from room to room,
cautiously looking behind doors before returning to the hallway where Kaname was
still standing, her fists clenched.
His eyes fell to the bat that she had dropped in an effort to save her front
door, before he clicked the safety back on his gun and returned it to his school
bag.
?See, I?m fine,? Kaname grated, ?Now, go to school.?
He moved towards her and she stepped back slightly to allow him passage out of
her home. But instead of leaving, he reached out and closed the door before
turning to look at her closely.
?Sous-?
Kaname?s words were chocked off as he lifted a hand to gently touch her
forehead, fingers lightly brushing her hair out of the way.
?You do not have a temperature, though your skin is clammy,? his eyes lowered to
her chest, ?and your breathing is rapid.?
She blinked as his cheeks suddenly went slighty pink, and she lowered her eyes
to see that the top two buttons of her pyjamas were open and she was displaying
a generous amount of cleavage. Growling, she batted his hand away from her face,
before clutching the material close.
?Souske. Go. To. School, ? she grated, turning from him and stomping back into
her lounge.
?Negative,? Souske said firmly, following her and placing his bag on the table,
?My mission is to protect you. I cannot do that if I attend school. The best way
for me to proceed-?
He stopped talking as a pillow sailed across and hit him in the face. Kaname
glared at him from the couch.
?I can study here whilst providing you nourishment to aid your-?
Souske once again stopped mid sentence as a second pillow hit him squarely
between the eyes.
?You are very energetic for someone who is ill,? he observed, sitting down at
the table and pulling his books out of his case.
Kaname tried to stop the growl that threatened to spill out of her mouth. Souske
ignored her, instead glanced around the room, before standing and walking
towards the curtained window. As he reached out to draw it open, Kaname leapt up
and reached for his arm.
?Don?t!?
Souske froze, his head turning slightly to regard her as she held firmly onto
his arm, her face pale.
?The light is poor for reading,? he said, looking puzzled by her actions and his
body tensing in readiness for an attack of some kind.
Kaname bit her lip and nodded, but didn?t let go of his arm. She should tell
him, she thought. She should tell him how the rain made her feel frightened and
alone. But she hesitated. Souske was an experienced fighter. He had been exposed
to death and bloody conflict for many years. How could she maintain his respect
when she fell apart by the memories rain inflicted on her.
She nodded again and turned despondently away.
?I don?t feel well,? she said. ?I?m going to bed?.
Souske watched Chidori scuff her way back to her bedroom, her head bowed and her
normally straight back hunched. She was acting in a very unlike Chidori way. He
had expected her to be cross about his forced entry into her home, but being
smacked with two pillows fell well short of the punishment he had been
expecting, even taking into account that she was ill.
Souske watched as she shut the door and then turned his attention back to the
curtain. She had been almost distressed by his actions to open them, her face
had been pale, her breathing rapid as if she was expecting something bad. He
lowered his hand and looked at the curtains in disgust. Glancing around the room
he spotted her discarded bat and walked over to pick it up.
He had noted that she had been holding it near the door during their initial
conversation. The sound of it clattering to the floor when she had been opening
the door had alerted him to the possibility of real trouble and his bluff to
kick open the door had almost become reality as he had pulled out his gun and
had raised his leg ready to act. It occurred to him now that she had already
armed herself prior to his arrival that morning and he wasn?t sure if this was a
good or bad thing. Half of him was pleased that she was proactive with her
safety by arming herself when opening the door, and half was disturbed that she
had armed herself against him.
Considering the implications he picked up the bat and walked back to the
curtains. Extending it out, he used the length of wood to lift the material away
from the glass, testing for booby traps. Satisfied there were none, he pulled
back the curtains and scanned the balcony and surrounding area.
The rain was still falling steadily. Nothing looked amiss.
Frowning, he turned and looked at Chidori?s door, which was fully closed against
him. Her eyes when she had held his arm to prevent him opening the curtains had
been dull and reminded him all too much of the young Whispered woman he and his
team had recovered from the Soviet Union prior to the Chidori mission.
Haunted.
Afraid.
Souske looked around the room again. Chidori?s cell phone was discarded on the
couch; two pillows were on the floor and a bat in his hand. Nothing else was out
of place.
Ill at ease, Souske did another sweep of the apartment and found nothing to
cause concern. Pressing an ear against Chidori?s door he detected no movement
and surmised that she had done as she said she would; gone back to bed and was
asleep.
Souske ran through her symptoms in his head wondering what illness she had
contracted, considering what steps were needed to restore her health. Cold
clammy skin, rapid breathing, dull eyes. His eyes narrowed.
These signs were symptoms of fear.
She had seemed perfectly fine yesterday; energetic, fiery. He had monitored her
home carefully during the night, as was his normal routine. He had several taps
around her home, which he set up to play on audio in his room at night. He
always woke at the slightest noise to indicate forced entry. In fact, he was so
attuned to her he woke even if she murmured in her sleep.
Nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Was it possible that something had
occurred during the time he vacated his house and his arrival at hers? There was
limited time for anything to happen; only someone closely observing Chidori?s
routine would know this.
Souske ran his hand through his hair as he analysed all the data available to
him and came up blank. She had not been dressed for school when he arrived,
which tended to suggest that her story of feeling unwell was correct. However,
Souske couldn?t get rid of the niggle in his gut that told him something else
was going on.
He glanced over at the couch again, the phone attracting his attention. Picking
it up he flipped it open, hesitated for a moment, then proceeded to check
incoming text messages and pone calls. Chidori would pommel him to a pulp for
invading her privacy but her safety was his primary concern. And what she didn?t
know wouldn?t hurt him.
Text messages were a negative threat unless the one from yesterday from a
girlfriend about how the lead in a boy band was ?hawt? was in code that Souske
couldn?t decipher.
Looking at calls he saw his number listed, and immediately prior was an unknown
caller id, number withheld. He frowned, staring at the illuminated screen. Wrong
number? His gut told him no. Chidori?s strained voice on the phone, her eyes and
demeanour told him that this was something to worry about.
He carefully placed the phone back on the couch and stared at her bedroom door
again. Pulling out his own phone, Souske hesitated for a moment then swiftly hit
the short cut key for contacting Wraith. As much as he hated dealing with that
agent, Wraith may have detected something in the short period of time that
Souske?s surveillance had been interrupted.
?What??
Even though the device used to disguise Wraith?s voice, Souske could tell that
the agent was pissed. Glancing out the window, Souske felt his mouth twitch into
a slight smile. Wraith was not based in a safe house; he was probably getting
exceedingly wet.
?Something is wrong,? Souske forced himself to grate out the words. ?Have you
detected any activity to be concerned about??
Wraith snorted.
?I wondered when you would catch on,? came the response.
Souske gripped the phone tighter, his eyes again darting to scan the balcony and
beyond looking for any sign of danger.
?Is there a threat?? he questioned as he moved away from the window, placing his
back against the wall to the side of the window and looking towards the table
where his gun lay in his school bag.
?No more than usual,? came the unhelpful reply.
Souske tried not to grind his teeth together in frustration and remained silent
awaiting further clarification. Wraith exhaled then continued.
?You are dense, Sergeant,? he said, ?Shall I give you a clue??
Souske blinked. Clue?
?Rain.? Wraith breathed, and then terminated the call.
What the hell? Souske blinked again and remained motionless. Chidiori?s life was
at risk and all he was getting from a fellow specialist were clues? Grunting in
frustration, he closed his phone and bent his head.
Rain.
R.A.I.N?
Was there a new terrorist organisation targeting whispered that he hadn?t been
informed about?
Chapter Three
Chidori lay on her back on the bed, her eyes staring upwards at the ceiling and
her arms sprawled wide across the duvet cover. She had been staring at the
ceiling ever since she had escaped Souske?s unwelcome interrogation, blinking
only when her eyes became painfully dry, focusing on a small hairline crack that
ran the length of the room.
She had heard him pace around her apartment, his footsteps halting outside her
door. She knew him well. He would check and then recheck for any threats to her
safety, but he would not enter her room unless she called for him or he heard
sounds which indicated that she was in danger.
There were no sounds apart from that of rain hitting her window with rhythmic
hatefulness. The only dangers to Chidori at the moment were her ever present
memories which became painfully focused and clear on days such as these.
Souske moved away from her door and she closed her eyes briefly. He must have
been satisfied that she had fallen asleep. How she wished that this was true. To
sleep away a day such as this would be wonderful. She opened her eyes, focusing
again on the crack. On days such as these her body wouldn?t grant her the
release of sleep no matter how tired she felt. It was almost as if the weather
triggered in her the feeling of having drunk too many cups of strong coffee; her
mind would spin unfocused on anything and then lock on to her panicked thoughts
of being alone
She bit her lip as the fear created a physical reaction, a spike of adrenalin in
her chest, and she rolled onto her side. Pulling her legs ups she hunched into a
fetal position, rocking slightly as she tried to will herself into calmness.
Souske?s voice floated across the room to her, muted by the door, his words
unintelligible. His tone was stern and she knew instinctively that he was
questioning someone about her. An odd anger welled up inside her chest. What
gave him the right to be concerned? He didn?t care for her; she was a mission
nothing more. Chidori clenched her fists, her nails cutting into her palms with
her rage, before she tried to breathe away her anger. Her mood swings were
unsettling, exhausting and unwelcome. She wished she could just sleep. She
wished she could just forget.
And how she wished the rain would end
Frowning, she listened to a clicking noise; Souske was now on his computer. Most
likely he was sending messages to his soldier buddies. With them he kept in
constant communication, telling them his whereabouts, his agenda, a wealth of
information he failed to share with her.
Chidori rolled onto her front and grabbed one of her pillows, dragging it
towards her before burying her face in it and screaming loudly, her rage
momentarily overwhelming her.
Instantly her door flew open and Souske was there, his gun out held with both
hands, arms straight, systematically pointing it swiftly towards each corner of
her room, his eyes darting from her to the window, around the room then back to
her again. Frowning, he lowered his weapon, expertly clicking the safety on
before taking a step towards her.
?Chidori??
She glanced at him, then at the door which had twisted slightly with the blow it
had received, its shiny white paint visibly cracked. Souske followed her glance
and winced at the damage he had done, before holstering his gun and turning back
to her. His jaw tightened as if he expected a verbal and physical confrontation
over the damage he had caused to her home.
Chidori, her rage evaporating with her scream, didn?t have the energy for it.
Instead, she again lowered her head to her pillow and murmured,
?Get out, Souske,? her eyes closing as once again she wished the day would end.
Xxx
Souske blinked hard as he watched Chidori almost melt into the pillow she held
and order him to leave the room. A whispered order when normally she would,
given the damage he had caused to her door, fly at him with a raised voice, or
even raised fists, berating him for his stupidity.
This meek, sad creature was not the Chidori he knew and admired. The Chidori he
knew would not pass up the opportunity to let him know how idiotic he was,
pushing him determinedly towards a pattern of acceptable behavior. She cared
enough for him that when he made mistakes she would forcefully correct them.
Souske frowned. He wanted the real Chidori back and by God he was going to have
her back now.
Striding forward he pulled the pillow out of her grasp, ignoring the ?oomph?
sound she made as her face hit her mattress. She raised her head, glaring at
him. Satisfied he had her attention he turned to the curtain covering the window
and pulled back the fabric allowing the baleful misty light to enter her room.
??don?t,? Chidori sat up on her bed, her arm outstretched towards him, or the
window, or the curtain; of which he was unsure.
?What is it, Chidori?? Souske demanded, his arms crossed. ?Tell me what is
wrong.?
She got to her feet, her face pale and lowered, her hair falling forward to hide
it from his view. She moved towards the door, but Souske was not finished with
her yet. He intercepted her, his hand grabbing her arm, spinning her around to
face the window again. He watched with detachment as her hair fanned out with
the speed of her movement before setting once again around her shoulders.
Chidori stared at his hand on her arm, her face darkening, her eyes beginning to
sparkle with the feisty anger he knew and missed. And then her eyes darted
towards the wet window pane and the sparkle died.
Souske?s eyes narrowed. He continued with his attack.
?What is R.A.I.N, Chidori?? he asked in his best interrogators? voice,
emotionless and quiet. He noted the way her breath hitched, how her fists
clenched then unclenched, how her teeth caught her bottom lip.
Souske had no interrogators? chair, no bright light to dazzle and confuse, but
he did have a bed and shoving Chidori towards it, he intended to use it. She
moved back unsteadily until the backs of her knees caught its edge and she sat
down heavily.
?What the hell?? she looked up at Souske who stood in front of her.
?You will tell me the facts, Chidori?, he demanded, ?What is R.A.I.N? Why does
this organization affect you? Are they blackmailing you? Are you working for
them??
He said anything that came to mind, anything that would spark the emotion back
into her eyes.
Chidori blinked and shook her head in confusion.
?What on earth are you talking about, Souske??
Souske leaned forward, placing a hand on either side of her as he bent down, his
face mere inches from hers. It was a classic interrogators? move, designed to
intimidate the suspect; not many people tolerated their personal space being
broached. Except, this time it was him that felt rather odd and unsteady as his
fingers gripped the still warm sheets and Chidori?s scent tickled his nose.
?Tell me!? he grated out, trying to get his mind back on his mission.
It seemed that it was beginning to work. Chidori glared up at him, pushing her
face closer to his.
?Tell you?? she scoffed, ?Why should I tell you anything!?
Souske fought his instinct to retreat a few paces and held his ground.
?Because I am here to protect you! Because you are my -?
?Your mission,? she interrupted him, all but snarling.
He blinked, encouraged by her anger, but confused by her statement.
?My friend,? he continued.
She shoved him then, hard in his solar plexus with the heel of her palm and as
he fell to his knees momentarily winded he felt an odd pride that she had used a
self defense move on him that he had shown her. Her knee lifting to catch his
chin ended that thought; instead he kicked into soldier mode, ignoring the pain
as he grabbed hold of her waist as she moved to get past him. Twisting, he
tackled her to the floor, his upper body lying over her hips and legs pinning
her down as she squirmed and shrieked at him in rage, her hands slapping at his
head and shoulders in an effort to get away.
?Friend? Friend!? she hissed. ?Friends don?t just disappear without a word.
Friends don?t promise to be there to protect someone and then abandon them to be
stalked! Friends don?t allow their friends to be atta-?
Abruptly she broke off, shuddering a little. Her hands stopped beating against
him, and he raised a slightly battered head to see that they had traveled to her
eyes and she was wiping back tears that were overflowing and trailing down her
cheeks.
Souske blinked again. His mission appeared to have worked a little too well. He
had wanted her to display emotion again, but not this kind of emotion. Anger he
was comfortable with, he had navigated it with Chidori many times. Sadness was
an altogether different thing. It left him feeling uneasy and unsure and a
soldier being uncertain in a combat situation was certain to get into trouble.
Lifting up on his elbows, he frowned down at her as she continued to weep.
Souske?s mission parameters went foggy as she sniffed, and when she started to
sob and wipe at her mouth they disappeared. Reaching out, he pulled her to his
chest, holding her tight as she continued to cry, her fingers grasping his white
shirt, crumbling the material. He lifted one hand, hesitated, and then
tentatively allowed his fingertips to touch her hair. When Chidori showed no
signs of objecting, he began to run his fingers through her hair in what he
hoped was a calming gesture. In his experience, just such an action would calm a
jittery horse; he just hoped it worked on humans as well as it did on equines.
As he stroked her hair, Souske revised what he had learned through the failed
interrogation. Chidori said she had been abandoned and left to be stalked. He
winced. Technically, he hadn?t abandoned her. Technically, his mission had been
declared over and he had been reassigned. He hadn?t liked his orders, in fact
his gut still knotted at the memory of the moment when he had read them. He
frowned, looking at the still crying Chidori. It seemed that her gut too knotted
at the memory of his departure.
But not just that. It could not be that she was this upset at him leaving.
Something else had happened whilst he was not there to protect her.
?Chidori?? he began, his voice strangely quiet to his ears, ?Tell me what
happened to you when I was gone.?
She pushed away from him slightly, her eyes red and slightly puffy from her
tears. Her hand lifted to her mouth once more, and wiped it as if something was
on her mouth that she did not care for.
Souske froze at the gesture.
Stalked.
She had been stalked and something had happened. Something that made her
physically ill at times. And he hadn?t been there to prevent it.
Souske wasn?t stupid. He had been in wars, he had seen the ways that women had
been tortured for information, for revenge or just for fun. He lifted a hand to
her face, and was shocked to see that his fingers trembled. Lifting her chin, he
forced her to look directly at him.
?Chidori..? he swallowed before asking, ?Did someone hurt you??
Chapter Four
?Chidori?.did someone hurt you??
Souske?s voice sounded strange, and Kaname wasn?t entirely sure it was due to
her winding him in an effort to get away from his strange questioning. She felt
his fingers on her chin gently forcing her to look at him and, blinking back her
tears, she focused on his face which was once again just inches from hers.
His eyes were lowered looking towards her mouth and Kaname gave a small start of
surprise when she realised that the back of her hand was pressed up against her
lips in an unconscious effort to wipe that memory away. She lowered her hand and
Souske?s eyes lifted to stare directly into hers.
?Chidori??
There it was again, that soft strange sound that wasn?t Souske?s usual gruff
tone of voice. His voice was full of concern and apparently that concern was for
her.
?..What??
Her own voice also sounded odd to her ears, all nasal and raw. She sniffed
deeply trying to clear her eyes of tears and get some control back over her
stupid emotions that had her on her knees sobbing into Souske?s shirt. She was
so emotional that she hadn?t understood the words that Souske had spoken to her.
Souske quietly repeated the question.
?Chidori, did someone hurt you??
Kaname heard the question clearly that time and almost snorted.
?Yes, you idiot, you did!? she shoved at his chest trying to move away but
Souske?s hand moved quickly from her face to her shoulder and held her firmly in
place. ?You left! Without a word, you left! I was so damn frightened and you
just disappeared and left me!?
?Chidori, I-?
Souske?s voice sounded pained but Kaname did not pause to let him speak.
?I know, I know; orders!? she continued, ?You had your orders and had to leave,
but you left me alone and frightened. I was so scared and you weren?t there to
help me. I couldn?t stay here, I knew I wasn?t safe. I knew I was being hunted
and you weren?t here to help me. I was a mission that was over and you had gone.
I thought I meant something to you, I thought that you were my friend, but you
left. You left!?
All the anger and sadness and rage she had felt because of Souske?s abandonment
of her welled up and out of Kaname?s mouth and she was powerless to stop herself
rant on, pausing only to take shaky breaths before continuing.
?She tried to kill me, she wanted me dead. I knew she was watching, I knew she
was coming. I ran to tell you that I saw her but you had gone! You had left me
behind! And when she came up on that roof top in the rain, I wanted you to be
there to save me. I wanted you to appear and protect me! But you didn?t!
?Chidori, I-?
?And then he killed her! Gave the order and crushed her throat. The sounds of
her struggling to breath ?? Kaname shuddered, blinking away more tears, ?She was
going to kill me, but I didn?t want her to die. I didn?t want anyone to die like
that!
?He took my first kiss. The sounds of that girl dying were ringing in my ears,
it was raining and cold and he took my first kiss! I hate him for it!? She
lifted a fist and pounded it has hard as she could in Souske?s chest. ?And I
hate you for leaving me behind on my own!?
*~*~*
Souske winced as Chidori?s fist impacted on his chest. It hurt, but his mind was
reeling with the words that were spilling out of her mouth. He grimaced as he
sorted through her jumbled sentences picking out details of the events and
realising that once again he had misunderstood. R.A.I.N. was nothing more
sinister than a weather condition recalled by a traumatised girl. Souske
mentally underlined the need to track down Wraith so he could thank him in
person for the hint that he had given, preferably through the medium of a gun
barrel or, perhaps, a few good kicks.
Chidori had led a relatively protected life and it was not surprising that
witnessing the death of a person by strangulation was traumatic to her. It was a
particularly nasty way to die, not clean and easy like a bullet to the head or
the quick breaking of a neck. Given this information and that it had happened on
a wet day, Souske finally understood why Chidori was so lethargic on rainy days
and why her bathing habits had changed. It was a known that sometimes smells or
visual stimulus triggered post-traumatic stress in soldiers. There was no doubt
in Souske?s mind that the feeling of moisture like rain disturbed Chidori. He
felt stupid for not picking up on it earlier; after all he was a trained
professional and had dealt with team members who had suffered similarly after
fierce battles.
At least she hadn?t been hurt, physically hurt, to the extent that he had
initially thought. She had murmured about a lost first kiss and whilst Souske?s
gut twisted at the thought that someone had touched his mouth to hers, he knew
it could have been worse. A lot worse.
Chidori was sniffing again, wiping away tears from her eyes and refusing to look
at him. Her mouth was red from where she had repeatedly wiped it with the back
of her hand leaving her lips slightly swollen. Souske swallowed as she bit her
bottom lip with her teeth in an uncharacteristically nervous manner. She made to
speak, but Souske stopped her by lifting one finger-tip to her mouth. He was
still processing the information and needed quiet to concentrate.
Although he thought the loss of a first kiss was not major, Chidori obviously
felt otherwise. Souske worked through what he knew about the culture in which
Chidori had been raised. In Japan kissing in public was frowned upon and from
the numerous mangas that Chidori and others in her class had forced upon him, it
was apparent that a first kiss was important to both Japanese boys and girls.
Something was still not quite in place. There had been many wet days since he
had returned from Hong Kong and Chidori had not reacted so dramatically on those
other days. Souske ran through the facts once again, this time recalling that he
had seen a phone call from an unknown source on Chidori?s cell phone.
?Chidori,? he began again in as soft a tone as he could muster, trying not to
upset or alarm her and also a little wary about how she would react if she knew
he had been snooping around her phone, ?Chidori, did someone call this morning
that upset you??
Chidori stiffened and then nodded.
?That man. That man who killed her,? she said, her lips twisting in dislike.
?What was his objective?? Souske questioned, angry again that he had allowed
such a breach in Chidori?s security.
She hesitated for a moment and then turned her face towards the window and the
outside gloom.
?He told me I looked beautiful in the rain.?
Souske?s stomach clenched, but he frowned and nodded to himself. He now had
enough information to deal with the situation and finish his mission of bringing
Chidori back to her usual energetic self. In one fluid motion he got to his feet
ignoring the ache his solar plexus was giving him where Chidori had landed her
blow. He bent down and held out a hand to Chidori who looked up at him with
suspicion before hesitantly lifting her hand to his.
Giving her hand a slight squeeze of reassurance, he pulled her to her feet then
walked to the door of her bedroom. He hurried her through for two reasons; he
did not want her to focus too much on the damage he had caused and he also did
not want her to start fighting him when she realised what his intentions were.
So far as security went, his plan was a nightmare. In normal circumstances he
would never leave Chidori as exposed as he intended to do now, but these were
not normal circumstances. Without giving Chidori a moment to hesitate he moved
swiftly to the balcony doors and slid them open. Twisting, he pulled Chidori
around from behind him and unceremoniously shoved her out the door into the rain
before he slid the door closed and locked her outside.
*~*~*~*
Chidori gave a little ?eep? of surprise as she found herself out on her balcony
dressed only in her pyjamas which offered little protection from the cold
drizzle that was falling from the sky. The chill of wet cloth on her skin, the
feel of rain dampening her hair and face were sensations much too reminiscent of
that time on the roof and she shuddered before spinning around to face Souske
who had his face pressed up against the glass of her balcony window.
He was looking a little edgy, the way he did just when he realised he had done
something stupid and she was going to hit him with a paper fan or her fist.
Kaname had no energy for this today. All she wanted was to get inside and hide
from the horrid sensation of rain water on her skin.
She took a step towards the door, reached out and grasped the handle to try and
slide it open. It remained firmly shut. Locked. She stared at the water droplets
on the back of her hand as she continued to hold tightly the handle.
?Let me in, Souske.? Kaname?s voice was quiet, but firm.
?You have to address your fears, Chidori.?
Souske?s voice was muted behind the glass but Kaname heard him perfectly well.
?What?? she questioned as she jerked at the door again. The glass rattled but
the door remained closed.
?You need to face your fears, Chidori.? Souske repeated crossing his arms and
his eyes darting around the balcony as if he was checking for intruders.
?What?? Kaname shook her head as she tried to understand what Souske was saying.
?Rain is just droplets of water from vapour condensed in the atmosphere. You
need to understand that rain is nothing to be frightened of unless you are
caught in heavy precipitation on unstable ground. Or in a cloudburst. The rain
here is not heavy, nor is the ground unstable. You are safe.?
Kaname sighed and dropped her head forward in exasperation allowing it to bang
slightly on the glass. As usual Souske had put two and two together and come up
with sixteen.
?Souske,? she began, ?I am not frightened of the rain. I dislike it because it
reminds me of the events of that day. So please let me come inside!?
Souske nodded. ?Association. It is referred to as Post Traumatic Stress. You
need to face the psychological consequences of the confrontation you had. Many
soldiers experience this when they are threatened with death and cannot return
to their team until they have overcome it because they are a threat to their
squad if it remains unresolved.?
Kaname?s eyebrow began to twitch.
?I?m not a soldier, Souske. Nor am I part of a team. And whatever psychological
consequences I may be experiencing I can deal with without your help! Now. Let.
Me. In!?
?You are part of a team, Chidori. You are part of my team-?
Kaname?s fist banged against the glass hard, and Souske?s head moved back
quickly alarmed at her sudden violence.
?Part of your team? Don?t give me that rubbish! I have never been part of your
team. I?ve only ever been the mission. You made that perfectly clear when you
left me alone to defend myself!? Kaname felt the tears begin to well up in her
eyes again as she relived the feeling of abandonment.
?I?ve explained before why I had to leave, Chidori.? Souske had pressed his face
closer to the glass again, his palms outstretched before him as if he was trying
to embrace her through the door. ?I had my orders ??
?And you always follow orders,? Kaname murmured, crouching down and shivering as
the drizzle became heavier, ?Don?t you understand? Haven?t you been listening to
me? I?m not frightened of being attacked. I coped with that! I learned from you
and I defended myself. I even outsmarted Wraith in an effort to get information
about why you disappeared. What happened on that roof with that girl was
horrible and I never want to go through something like that again, but I
survived it. But that?s not what scares me. What I?m frightened of is you!?
Kaname looked up through her wet hair and saw that Souske had also crouched down
on his warm dry side of the glass and was looking at her with wide eyes.
?I don?t?.I don?t understand. Explain.?
Kaname lowered her head again, shaking it slightly.
?No, I don?t suppose you do,? she said taking a deep breath and trying to keep
calm, ?I?m frightened that at any moment, at any time you will disappear from my
life again and leave me alone. I?m frightened that you will get orders to go
again and not tell me. At any moment when you are not with me you could be
packing up your things and leaving. I don?t want you to go; I don?t want you to
abandon me again.?
She wrapped her arms around her knees as her tears began to flow again.
?That?s why I hate the rain. That?s why days like this upset me!?
Kaname didn?t hear the door slide open, but Souske was suddenly beside her
wrapping his arms around her shoulders pulling her damp body up against his.
?I won?t leave you again,? he said, resting his forehead against the top of her
head, his voice low and hesitant.
?You will get orders-,? Kaname argued, but didn?t push him away.
?I won?t get orders. I?ve made it clear that my remaining with Mithril is
dependant on not withholding information from you in future. If I have to leave,
you will be informed.?
?But that?s just it!? Kaname whispered, closing her eyes tightly, ?I don?t want
you to go. I don?t want you to leave, even if you told me you were.? She sighed
and tilted her face up to look him in the eyes. ?Even though you have so many
annoying habits, even though you are over zealous and amazingly dense at times,
I miss you so much when you are not around. I don?t want you to leave, not
because you help protect me, but because I miss you. You are my treasured
friend.?
Souske stared at her, his face tinting slightly red with what could have been a
blush or perhaps a reaction to the cold rain on his face.
?Chidori,? he began. ?Kaname, I don?t know what will happen in the future. I
can?t promise to always be here. Whilst statistically improbable, it is always
possible that I could be accidentally killed by being struck by a car, or by
lightening-?
?Or carried away by a flash flood caused by a cloud burst,? Kaname couldn?t stop
herself from interrupting.
Souske?s normally straight mouth lifted a little at the corner.
?Yes, or killed by an unusual weather pattern. I cannot promise to be here as
your friend forever. But, when I think about remaining here with you it makes me
feel?.warm.? Souske?s cheeks darkened further.
Kaname felt her own cheeks begin to blush from his words and for the first time
on a rainy day since that moment on the roof top she felt her mouth stretch into
a smile.
?Ah! And one more thing,? Souske spoke fast in the tone of voice that indicated
that he was in soldier mode.
Kaname suddenly felt wary. His tone was one that she both liked and was nervous
of because it usually meant his mind was working on all sorts of unlikely
scenarios, the end result of which was usually one of her being thrown to the
floor in an effort to avoid some imagined danger. Kaname tensed accordingly as
Souske?s eyes darted around the patio before his hand moved up to grip the back
of her head to hold her steady. His face loomed close and Souske?s mouth
attached to hers.
His lips were warm against her chilled skin. For a moment they stood still and
stiff, their lips touching but nothing more. And then his lips moved, caressing
hers, applying soft pressure that caused bolts of electricity to zoom down to
the pit of her belly. Her mind went blank as the sensations overtook her, her
mouth moving against his without her even realising it. And then, it was over.
He was pulling his mouth up and away from hers and she almost whimpered from the
loss of sensation.
?A kiss from a friend to replace the memory of your lost first kiss,? Souske
said earnestly, his hand dropping from the back of her head to pat her on the
shoulder.
Kaname blinked.
Then she blinked again.
Souske tensed as he watched her face begin to flush red and her eyebrow twitch.
?..Chidori??
??Souske?.? Her voice was a low growl.
He moved back slightly from her, but not swiftly enough to avoid the
impressively hard right upper cut her fist landed on his jaw. He flew backwards
through the open door to land sprawled and disorientated on the living room
floor. Kaname followed, fists clenched, knees slightly bent, feet stomping
loudly on the floor in her rage. She stood over him legs akimbo and hands on her
hips.
?Souske! You idiot!? she screamed down at him, her eyebrow still twitching.
??Chidori..?? Souske, perhaps wisely, remained laid out on the floor eyes on the
ceiling hoping that she wouldn?t kick him while he was down.
Kaname breathed deeply and then turned suddenly. By the sounds of her footsteps
Souske could tell she was heading towards the bathroom. Moments later a towel
landed on his face, and Souske gratefully used the opportunity of his face being
hidden from her to wince from her blow and to use his tongue to check for any
loose teeth
?Dry yourself,? she said. ?I?m going to have a quick shower and then we can go
to school.?
She turned and re-entered the bathroom closing the door behind her. When the
door clicked shut, Souske lifted his hand to his face and pulled the towel away.
Sitting up, he half turned to look towards the bathroom door. The sound of the
shower starting drifted through mingled with the slightly off key tone of
Chidori humming.
Souske?s mouth pulled into a smile as he began to rub his hair dry. His mission,
despite a very shaky start and mistaken parameters, had been a success. The kiss
may have been a mistake but it had certainly returned Chidori to her usual
feisty self.
The chirping of his cell phone interrupted Souske?s musings. Getting to his
feet, Souske quickly retrieved it from his satchel and flicked it open. Eye
narrowing he saw that Wraith was calling.
?What?? Souske, despite his good mood, had no intention of being polite to the
agent after the vague hints he had been given earlier.
?Do you usually kiss your charges with such finesse??
The amusement was evident in Wraith?s voice despite the voice altering software
the agent utilised. Souske grimaced. Wraith must have been observing his
encounter with Chidori on the balcony and was probably delighted that Chidori
had nearly knocked Souske out.
?Is there a threat?? Souske refused to be baited by Wraith.
?No more than usual,? Wraith replied, his words echoing the ones he used earlier
that day.
Souske frowned as the dial tone indicated that Wraith had hung up. He turned to
the patio door and slid it closed before dropping the towel to the floor to wipe
up rain that had blown in. The threat was no more than usual. He looked towards
Chidori?s cell phone that remained where he had dropped it earlier. He had not
forgotten that she had received a phone call from the Amalgam agent. A phone
call he felt was dangerous.
Chidori was still at risk and in a strange way Souske found that relaxed him.
Kidnap attempts, assassination attempts and attacks he was familiar with and
could deal with. He was forewarned and would be prepared should the enemy agent
approach Chidori again.
Souske?s fingers lifted to his lips as he recalled the sensation of kissing
Chidori. Unfamiliar feelings spiked in his abdomen as he remembered how soft her
lips were and how warm they felt against his despite the chill upon her skin.
Hearing the bathroom door open, he pushed those strange feelings down again and
turned to see Chidori emerge from the bathroom looking refreshed and tidy in her
uniform.
She paused to simile at him, then turned and walked to the front door. Looking
over her shoulder to called back to Souske.
?Ready??
Souske nodded. He was ready to face whatever threat next posed a risk to
Chidori. And so was she.
The End.
Hope you enjoyed reading it!
[fic] Rain by kmf (rated T) Complete
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ladysaffir
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Dreamingdreams
- Pilot Candidate||Goddess in Training
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