Ask Heero (A Real Advice Column)

[twistedrealityoflove]

yeah true that

[Raspberry]

Ahh, damn, I haven't been here for so long... and I missed waaaaay too much!

But, uhm.. eeh... Well, since no one is bugging Heero, and this is my fav column...

...

Before I start, a little note: this problem is serious and it is not funny. Also, please do not ask, pity or try to make me fell better with 'awww's and 'ooooh's. Now, everything being said, let's go on with this crap...

Dear Heero, for a long time now, I am dealing with serious problem: alcohol addiction. A close person of mine centairly is addicted, but the person does nothing with it. Ironically, the person admits the addiction. (I don't want to say who the person is so I'll just continue with calling 'it' TP) The person seems to not really care, as as soon TP is (quite rarely) getting sober, TP 'suffers' a 3 day stage, every single time:
Day 1. TP still drinks beer, but not in the same quantities as when TP is drunk. The beer helps TP calm down.
Day 2. TP is quite sober, but is also calm, inactive, avoiding everything, sleeping a lot.
Day 3. TP is very aggressive and it is easy to make TP angry.
After that, the person IS sober. Continuing with description: TP drinks beer in marathons - from 2 days to 2 weeks, usually 1 week. When the person is sober, TP does not believe in what we tell TP about behaviour etc. Afterwards, the person blames everybody but TP, that TP started drinking because of us. Also, even 1 beer is enough for the person to get hooked again.
I can't stand it anymore. I really don't know how to help the person. Please, Heero, I need your advice.

I am completely aware that this is not gramatically correct, but please, don't care about it.

[twistedrealityoflove]

*runs and hides* srry I saw alcohol and freaked, I have had a bad experience with stuff like that

[Heero]

It's very good that TP has admitted their addiction. That's a very large step.

However, alcoholism has many different types. Sometimes it's a social anxiety disorder, sometimes it's a chemical addiction, and studies have proven it to be hereditary, as well. And of coarse, some people just like the feeling of being drunk more than being sober. Depending on the cause is how you should approach a treatment. Chemical addictions going cold-turkey and stopping all at once can experience hallucinations, seizures, and in some cases heart failure. In which case, it would be best to drink in moderation and make steps towards a sober life style.

Drinking in moderation is always beneficial. But the best solution is counseling. if I remember correctly Raspberry, you are not a resident of the US. So I'm not sure if AA (alcoholics anonymous) is available in your region, but I can guarantee that there are ones similar to it. If they're willing to, this is the most beneficial process. Otherwise, highly enforce moderation in consumption. Have a set limit of drinks, and stop before judgement is impaired.

I know they have medication to take to help alcoholics, but I am not very informed on those. But I can do a little research if need be.,

[Raspberry]

...Yeah.

I think the problem lies within TP. As you mentioned, it might be that TP prefers to stay drunk the sober. When I think about it, it must be that way - TP drinks only at home, because TP works for long periods (i.e. 4-6 months) and at work TP stays sober, but when at home... well, you can figure it out. Do you think that TP might be overwhelmed by "family and home" problems?.. Because TP leaves everything to my other guardian? TP is completely carefree at home.

Also, TP has admitted the addiction, but uses it as an excuse. TP says "I'm sick, I'm alcoholic, you do everything" etc. And that's the biggest problem. Because I am completely sure that there are AA in my town (thank you for remembering my origin ^^), but, in my opinion, TP is too proud to go there - as I said before, the addiction is an excuse. TP will be leaving soon for job (for 4 months or so) but me and my guardian fear that TP won't make it being sober at work...

And drinking limit?.. No way. TP will do everything to go out and buy beer. I've tried countless times to stop TP going out and buying beer. But TP always has an excuse - "I don't feel well, I need to drink. I want to sleep, I need beer. The dog needs a walk (and than TP buys beer)". And I let him go. I can't stand how TP hurts my other guardian, so we let TP go, just for the sake of ourselves - I noticed I've became more agressive and less patient, not to mention how nervous my guardian is...

It's really hopeless situation Thank you comitting your time to this, Heero.

[lilac310]

OK. I've got a question for you Heero..You see, I work at Starbucks part-time and some customers just outlandishly piss me off....They wouldn't do anything in particular but it's quite obvious from the way they act, look, and talk (some of them) that they think they're better than you, just because you happen to be working and you need to service them or something...

I would sometimes "sense" (yes, I can sense things..lol) their so-called 'superiority complex' just because they're buying coffee from Starbucks or could be because majority of our patrons are "supposedly" paraprofessionals or something of that sort....and anyway, if you're living in Vancouver (I'm not sure with US), the coffee prices just increased..

Plus, it's even worse for people working in fast foods..They get crappy attitude from customers all the time. I would sometimes be in line and witness these kinds of derogatory remarks, sarcasm, and just plain old rudeness....What's up with that? Just because it's a fast food, some people think they're above them or something...well, hello?! ..With that kind of attitude, it doesn't seem like they're sophisticated or classy themselves..I mean, c'mon...5 out of 10 customers have NO MANNERS!!!

I also travel and although, it does happen in other places too (of course!)...this kind of customer mentality or 'disease' as I would call it seems to be more widespread in North America as compared to the places I've been to... Has anyone here noticed/experienced/done that?

I'm a customer myself (duh!..lol) but I do not do that because I know what it's like to be in the other person's shoes....So, Heero, do you have some enlightening words to explain this epidemic? ..I need to get some insights regarding this so, I would know if I'm just being too paranoid or not..

Does anyone agree that this so-called epidemic exists?

[wicked]

OMG! You have NO idea how bad it is for fast food workers, especially if those fast food workers happen to be attached to a busy as all HELL truck stop.

Yeah customers are effing jerk and many other "colorful" words/phrases/metaphors. And it is true that because you work in a "service" industry you're treated like less than a human. Not only by customers but by employers as well. I've seen the way people act at Starbucks and it's not cool. I try my damnedest to be nice to people when I'm in a line or waiting for something in a service type of business.

When at a fast food place I wouldn't totally clean up after myself and would say to my companions, "They get paid for it." That changed fast after working at HELL. People are pigs. Disgusting pigs and I'd go into more detail but I'll degenerate into obscene language and crude gestures with a healthy dose of homicidal rage thrown in. So I'll move onto something else.

Having worked in fast food for four years will make I appreciate my (then) fellow service industry workers. If it's slow, as in you don't get your order supah fast, there are reasons. Understaffed being the major one. Then there's the newbie factor without enough veterans to train. See at my old job, for every one (1) newbie, we were supposed to have two to three veterans to make up for that one person. 90% of the time, we had one to one and usually on the busiest of all days/weekends. ZOMG so much fun! Except not!

It is an epidemic. And it's mainly centered in the U.S. because we want what we want as fast as possible without hassle and it better be there dammit. >_< A girl should not be called a cunt, or a fat bitch, or any other derogatory word/phrase for a customer's mistake/stupidity. That has happened to fellow co-workers and myself. I've been called a "retard" because I was cleaning the dining room at HELL once. I was rather shocked but kept my mouth shut and didn't tell those jerks that I had been in honors classes throughout my high school career and the only reason I was working at HELL was because I made bad choices.

ARGH! I hate jerk customers! It's why I strive to be a nice and polite customer wherever I go. I understand that sometimes it actually is just bad service. But most of the time, there are reasons behind it. I don't encourage anyone to go into fast food because of the way they'll be treated by customers and their employers.

Never again. Never. And my sympathies to anyone who has to work in that industry. Much love for those people that have to still put up with people's crap.

Argh! Kill it!

~Wicked

[twistedrealityoflove]

well atleast I know I'm not the only one with problems.

...Yeah.

I think the problem lies within TP. As you mentioned, it might be that TP prefers to stay drunk the sober. When I think about it, it must be that way - TP drinks only at home, because TP works for long periods (i.e. 4-6 months) and at work TP stays sober, but when at home... well, you can figure it out. Do you think that TP might be overwhelmed by "family and home" problems?.. Because TP leaves everything to my other guardian? TP is completely carefree at home.

Also, TP has admitted the addiction, but uses it as an excuse. TP says "I'm sick, I'm alcoholic, you do everything" etc. And that's the biggest problem. Because I am completely sure that there are AA in my town (thank you for remembering my origin ^^), but, in my opinion, TP is too proud to go there - as I said before, the addiction is an excuse. TP will be leaving soon for job (for 4 months or so) but me and my guardian fear that TP won't make it being sober at work...

And drinking limit?.. No way. TP will do everything to go out and buy beer. I've tried countless times to stop TP going out and buying beer. But TP always has an excuse - "I don't feel well, I need to drink. I want to sleep, I need beer. The dog needs a walk (and than TP buys beer)". And I let him go. I can't stand how TP hurts my other guardian, so we let TP go, just for the sake of ourselves - I noticed I've became more agressive and less patient, not to mention how nervous my guardian is...

It's really hopeless situation Thank you comitting your time to this, Heero.

I know how you feel Raspberry, well not in the imeadiate sense but I understand your situation. I used to live with a friend who smoked, did drugs, and was a cutter. She tried to kill both me and my mom one night but hey I'm still alive and so is my mom, so I guess we got through it ok. I didn't really have "faith" back then I just ran on instinct(I knew when to shut my mouth and move on ). Yeah, so in some ways I understand your situation, and I don't know if your much of a believer in god but I'll pray that TP gets through his addiction and for your family

[heaven'sgirl]

Dear Heero,

Hi... it's me again. I just need your opinion... what kind of part-time job (and on weekends, I hope) should I consider getting even though I'm still 15?

Can I even have a job for my age? And where do you think I can find one, if ever?

Thanks.

[Heero]

My insight is that people are jerks. And it is a bit worse in America, but not dramatically. People are jerks regardless of nationality.

And I'm not sure about the laws where you live, but in my home state, you must be 16 to gain employment. Which is ironic considering how old I was when I first severed a man's spine in battle... but that's neither here nor there...

And yes... Starbucks prices went up here, too. But I didn't pay for it, so I didn't mind so much.