Blissful Ignorance

OK, you got a good idea, but there are too many run-on sentences and grammar mistakes. If you are traying to portray the mindset of someone who is ten or maybe eleven, you can do that by using simple sentence structure, but don't punish the reader with grammar mistakes.

Also, you need to break up ...

Hahah...It's been so long! I thought you ahd given up. Right more!

This was very good. I look forward to the next installment. Oh, yes. The language: I'm guessing Portugese. It's latin based, but not French, Spanish, or Italian. And certainly not English.

was it just me, or where is chapter 7?

RyanEX2000 wrote: Twins?

TRIPLETS!!!!!

The twins and triplets would have nothing to do with Relena because no one in her family has twins or triplets. So unless she drops two eggs at once, shes not having twins or triplets. Her little girls might, though.

Good chapter. I cannot wait for more.

OMG! There's more plot than sex in this one, actually I don't know if that's possible since they are the same for this story. It's awesome. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Continue! It's interesting! please do continue! I want it.

I 've rarely ever seen such symbolism in fanfics, however I enjoy it more and more. I didn't know I was going to get an english lesson here! I think I understood it. I'd have to reread it, but I'll do that after I do all my other "real" work. You wrote it beautifully though, and the imagry sprang up ...

OMG! I love your story. Poor Heero! He deserves some happiness. Your torture of Heero is killing me. At least he's better though. No more month long waits! I want to see a new chapter in two weeks, got it mister?

I enjoyed this immensly. However, I have yet to see any Relena like character
s for Heero, or should I say Akira?