Every Breathless Whisper

Part 3

by Zapenstap

Relena awoke once in the night, starting out of a deep and pleasant sleep when she felt Heero gently move her and rise from the bed.  Lying perfectly still in the darkness, she kept her eyes closed, listening to the sounds of him moving about the room.  Her heart clenched at the thought of his leaving her now, perhaps never to come back again, and thought she even heard his hand on the door, but before her fears materialized into anything more, she felt a soft blanket fall over her body, covering her right up to her shoulders.  And then Heero was there again, sliding back in bed beside her, his arms wrapping about her waist and pulling her close to his body underneath the blanket.  Once settled, he buried his head into her hair and shoulder, inhaling deeply before relaxing his body.  Almost immediately his breathing became regular.  He had just been cold.  She closed her eyes and fell asleep again in his arms, her heart fluttering with love for him even with the strangeness of remembering what had happened between them only hours ago.

She awoke to a strange soreness and stiffness in her body, with a blanket all to herself and the terrible realization that she was undeniably alone in Heero's bed.

She sat up, bewildered by the light that streamed in through a window across from the dresser.  Had she only dreamed that he had stayed?  Fighting back a dull ache in her chest, she clutched the blanket to her collarbone, staring about the room, hoping she would find him nearby.  The blanket.  She had not dreamed that he had gotten up and come back to her then, but where was he now?  Perhaps in the night things had been foggy and he had been tired and cold, but today he woke up with a clearer head and simply left her...

The door opened, swinging inward softly.

Relena froze in fear, imagining what would happen if she were found like this, naked in the bed of her bodyguard, but when she managed to quell the butterflies in her stomach and look up, her heart heaved with relief and gladness, for it was Heero who had entered his own room.

He was fully dressed, even down to his black boots, which disappointed her a little, but the first thing he looked at when he opened the door was her, sitting up in his bed with the blanket clutched to her chin, though, by her bare shoulder and back, unclothed underneath.  He held a steaming mug in his hands.  His eyes were deep with feeling as he looked at her, but there was a bit of awkwardness too, even as he stared at her unabashed.  She became conscious of her state of undress and leaned back against the headboard, the blanket still pulled up to her neck.  Smiling at her, he crossed the room and sat on the side of the bed, offering her the mug in his hand.

"I brought you some tea," he said quietly.  "I know you like tea in the morning."

She took the mug, speechless, and brought it to her lips, but it was too hot yet to drink.  He watched her silently and she couldn't help but blush, feeling self-conscious beside him when she was naked and he was not.  "I'm sorry," she said.  "I should get up and dress.  This is your bed and your room.  I'm sorry."

"I like you there like that," he replied and she blushed again.  Even so, he nodded, and taking a breath, stood and opened a closet door, pulling out to her surprise one of her business ensembles.  "I got this from your room this morning," he said.  "I thought you might need something to wear today."

Relena's eyes drifted to the floor where her clothes from last night were scattered about in wrinkled piles.  She felt her heart quicken, feeling all at once awkward and confused.  It was such a nice gesture, and the tea too, that she couldn't breathe quite right; her heart seemed all constricted.  She still didn't know what he was thinking, what he thought of last night, what he thought of her now.  Thinking about their lovemaking herself made her shiver and feel warm, wanting him again even in this strangeness.  Blushing, she took a sip of her tea, burned her tongue, and accepted the suit Heero handed her silently.  She could not very well walk back to her office in a wrinkled version of what she had worn yesterday after all.

As he handed her her suit, Heero got up and walked away, averting his eyes as she dressed.  Why he did that, she didn't know, having seen and felt and filled all of her last night, but in a way she was grateful, if only it didn't feel so much like good-bye.  Once she was dressed, she quickly thanked him for the tea and finished it, noting that he had put in just the right amount of sugar.  How did he know how much sugar he liked?  He must have observed her making her own tea sometime before.

"You'd probably better go," he said quietly as she finished.  He stood close by, but not close enough to touch her.  "You have a speech in an hour in the auditorium."

She gasped, having quite forgotten about it.  "Oh, right," she breathed.  But would he be there to protect her, or would he assign the job to someone else now?  "Thank you, Heero," she said awkwardly, making for the door, feeling torn in her desire to stay and how uncomfortable she felt about staying this long already.  Quietly, she slipped out, scrubbing tears from her cheeks once she was in the hallway.  She did not regret--not a moment with him last night was regrettable--but she felt ashamed now that it was over, finding that none of what happened last night relieved the longing in her breast.  If anything, she wanted him more than before.

*****

Heero took his place in the wings of the auditorium, stage right, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed as Relena stepped out on the stage and up to the podium.  Normally, he would have paid close attention to her speech and the reaction of the crowd, but she'd been making this same speech for months now and he was much too distracted by her to do his job properly.

For weeks he had been so close to leaving.  He had guarded her closely for almost two years, with nothing more between them than her regard for him and his protectiveness of her.  Over time his feeling for her grew, with every smile she directed his way, every confession of her heart, every time she sought him for some strength she thought he had.  Without meaning to, he found subtle ways to touch her, to take her hand, hold her waist, brush against her shoulder.  Always his hesitation equaled his passion.  Every touch was forced and every time he thought it would be the last time. Every sight of her was like the last sight, which he burned into his memory for remembrance.  Every word he spoke to her felt like the final sentence, as if to say he was going soon, that he could not stay.  He knew it was only fear, that he was afraid of being too close, of being too human when he had conditioned himself for so long to be as mechanical as possible, but something about her drew him in.  She was irresistible, a magnetic force, and it wasn't long before he started wondering what it would be like, as she had said, what it would be like to make love to her the way other people in love did.  Now he knew.

He couldn't get it out of his head.  Every time he looked at her he remembered the way her skin felt underneath his hands, so soft and smooth, a pure creamy white, the way her mouth had felt to his tongue, the way he had felt inside of her.  Her skin had been hot from the first, he remembered, almost as hot as himself, electricity shooting from her fingertips when she touched him.  He had never been touched like that before.  It was indescribable.  He had never felt that way before.  Looking back on it he thought he had never been that happy, that satisfied, felt that loved, until he loved her.

When she had come to him he could not believe what he was seeing, what he was hearing.  He had imagined it before, sometimes against his will, but the real thing was wildly different than anything he had imagined.  For one thing, he had never been so scared in all his imaginings, so totally in her power.  If she'd known that he would have done anything, anything for her that night, or even still today, she might believe how special she had made him feel, how human, how loved.

He should have told her so.  He almost had when he came close to his release, everything was both so unbelievably clear and equally fuzzy then, but she had whispered she loved him in his ear, spinning his world, causing his heart to lurch into life.  All he could do then was kiss her.  After that his body couldn't take the strain anymore; he had to let go, and once he did he was too exhausted, too satisfied to say anything or do anything but hold her and breathe.

Standing at the podium today, she looked different then she had other days.  Maybe it was just to his eyes and the possessive way he felt about her now, twice as protective as he had ever been, but he thought there was a healthy glow to her cheeks this morning, a sensuous way she moved her body that she hadn't before.  Her legs had never looked so pretty, nor her neck, or the hair that hung down straight over her shoulders, but that might just be to him, he who had been able to touch all of her last night.

He had been so bewildered upon waking to a so undeniably strange and flushed feeling.  The sight of her asleep with her head cradled in his arm had almost been too much.  To clear his head he showered, dressed and left his rooms, wandering aimlessly about the halls, feeling like there was a balloon under his feet and too much air in his head.  Every few minutes he had found himself back at his door to check on her, to stare at Relena naked in his bed, sleeping more peacefully than he had seen her sleep in months.  For a few restless hours he felt young and foolish and it had taken him time to adjust his thinking and clear the flush from his cheeks.  He hadn't meant to be gone when she woke up, but he thought she might like tea.  Until then, he had forgotten that what had happened last night had been a favor to her, no strings attached.  He didn't want her to feel like there had to be strings today and had tried not to fully express the longing in his heart that she should stay with him, to leave the question open to her choice, but he felt he had only succeeded in heightening the awkwardness that was inevitable after such a night as they had shared.

The audience clapped and Relena smiled, flushing before the crowd.  She turned her head as the applause continued and spotted him suddenly in the wings.  Her mouth opened in surprise, her eyes shining as she smiled a soft, sweet smile.  He returned the smile and the blush in her cheeks deepened.  Lowering her eyelashes, she turned her gaze demurely away from him and back to the crowd, her voice rising as she thanked them for their attendance.  More applause followed and Relena exited the stage, coming toward him when she was supposed to go back the way she had come.  He lifted his head, uncrossing his arms and straightening, seeing the uncertainty in her eyes, and a bit of what he had seen last night that managed to move him even more now than it had then.

*****

"What is she doing?"  Duo groaned, having to restrain himself from throttling the security guard.  "I thought you said she is supposed to exit on the same side she enters?"

The security guard held up his hands, protesting that that was the way it normally worked.

"Calm down, Duo," Trowa advised, crossing his arms, his expression stoic.  "She doesn't know we're even here." The security guard looked grateful and left the area, the speech being over without incident.

Duo sighed.  "And here I thought she'd like saying hi to some old friends passing through."

"Sure," a woman's voice said.  "But Heero is on that side of the stage."

"What are you doing here?" Trowa asked Dorothy in those quiet, reflective tones of his.

"I have business of my own," she replied.  "Visiting old friends."  She smirked a little at them, her eyes dancing.

"Oh my god!" Duo said suddenly, and both Dorothy and Trowa turned to look.

Relena had reached the other side of the stage behind the curtains and Heero emerged out of the darkness, standing very, very close to her. She ducked her head as he grabbed one side of her business coat with his right hand, his left going about her waist as if it belonged there.

Duo's eyes practically bulged out of his head as he stared at the scene in utter disbelief.  "Are you kidding me?" he muttered.  "Since when...?"

"Oh, be quiet," Dorothy snapped at him and he trailed off, a little hurt, but Dorothy's eyes were glued to the pair across the stage, standing in the dark together. Both she and Duo practically squealed when Heero suddenly leaned over and gently kissed the right side of Relena's neck, like it was the most natural thing in the world to do with a girl he could barely stand to talk to for more than a few minutes without losing his head.

"I don't believe it,"  Duo said.  "Did you see that?"

"I am such a genius!"  Dorothy exclaimed, clapping her hands, a smile of delight plastering her face.

"We saw, Duo," Trowa said calmly, a small smile on his face.  "Don't ruin it.  Let's just leave and pretend we didn't see."

"Oh, no, we mustn't tell anybody," Dorothy said, shaking her head.  "That would certainly ruin it for them." She smiled gleefully again.  "Oh, I'm so happy!"

"Huh?" Duo muttered, scratching his head.  "I don't get it.  What are you congratulating yourself about?"

Dorothy smirked at him and said nothing.  Trowa just shook his head. Perhaps he didn't understand either.  Again he repeated that they just ought to leave them alone since they obviously thought they were alone.  Dorothy, apparently having seen enough to draw her own conclusions, agreed and led the way out.  Trowa and Duo followed more uncertainly, Duo glancing over his shoulder.

"Huh. Well, way to go, Heero," he said.

*****

Relena couldn't believe he was there, waiting in the wings for her like he always had.  At first she wondered if perhaps he was just going to pretend nothing had happened and simply go on as things had been before, but she didn't see how he could possibly do that.  Just seeing him send a shock wave of fire through her system, a flash of heated memories, burning touches, tender kisses, all of which she wanted to experience again.  His eyes as she approached him seemed to draw her in possessively, his expression tender.  As she disappeared from the view of the audience, he stepped out to meet her, grabbing the edge of her white silk coat with the short sleeves and wrapping his other hand about her waist.  She gaped a little in surprise, amazed how he simply held her without permission, like she belonged to him.  And yet, she knew she had given him permission by moving her arms aside, by stepping so close, by asking him to make love to her last night, by telling him she loved him, by staying with him all night and late into the morning, by falling in love with him...  Her heart fluttered as she searched his face, mesmerized by his eyes.  Suddenly, he leaned forward, not to her mouth, but to her neck, kissing it with a gentle tenderness.

She tilted her head to the other side to give him access and felt his other hand slip around her waist. Her own hands hovered, her wrists just lightly touching his shoulders.  "Heero..." she breathed.

He straightened and brushed hair from her eyes.  "You asked me a favor," he said quietly, replacing his hand around her waist and drawing her close.

She flushed, warmed by his touch. "I know."

He nodded.  "Is that all?" he asked.  "Or did you mean what you said last night when... right before you..."

"I meant it, Heero," she said with a little shake in her voice.

He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply.  "No one's ever said that to me before," he said quietly, almost too quiet to be heard.

"I love you, Heero Yuy," she said, biting her lip, her eyebrows drawn down in the emotion she felt when she said it.  "I don't want to scare you, but I love you."

She felt herself pulled in closer, her body curving to his as he wrapped his arms about her, squeezing her tightly.  Breathing into her hair, he said into her ear quite clearly, "I love you too."  He said it so matter-of-factly, as if it was something very easy to say, but she knew that it was not, that the only reason it sounded so clear was because he was so sure.

Tears sprang in her eyes and she clasped her hands around his neck, fighting to hold them back, but unable to quell them.

He pulled slightly away from her, cupping her face in his hands.  "Don't cry, Relena," he begged.  "Please don't.  I can't stand to see you cry."

"No, I'm happy," she said. "I just thought you were leaving, afraid you would leave." Tears shimmering in her vision. "The way...I don't know why.  I've been fearing that you would leave for so long now.  But I wanted... I wanted..."

"Do you feel human?" he asked her in a breathless whisper, so urgently.  "I love you.  Do you feel human?"

"I do," she replied.  "Do you?"

"Yeah," he said.

"You're not leaving?" she asked.

"I have no better place to be." Again, so matter-of-factly.

"I want you to stay," she said.  "If you want to stay with me."

For answer he kissed her, his lips touching hers softly but possessively, his arms tightening about her waist.  He kissed her slow and lovingly and his lips were like milk and honey pouring into her mouth.  She kissed him back, her hands still on the back of his neck.  His skin felt cooler now but just as lovely to touch, his kiss just as passionate, taking her completely until she couldn't sense the outside world, but only feel the steady pounding of her heart in her chest.  He didn't seem to mind if anyone was watching, and she didn't think anyone was.  An obscure corner of her mind wondered vaguely when she would finish that report she had begun on the plane yesterday, but with his arms around her and his breath in her mouth, she didn't feel that she would be able to get to it today, or tomorrow, or mind so much anymore.

~fin~

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