Heero paid no attention to the sign marked ‘no trespassing’ and scaled the fence with ease. Throwing a heavy coat over the barbed wire at the top of it, he sustained minimal damage to himself while flipping over the top. Better this than cutting the wire. He would have had little compunction with doing so, but he didn’t want anyone else to tread on what had become something of a precious site for him. Coming back here when he was confused or angry was like a pilgrimage. It was a return to the beginning, after all, so calling it a pilgrimage was not unreasonable.

Tossing the now torn coat aside, but noting its location for when he wanted to return, he continued down to where the soft rise and fall of waves beckoned. With an obscure smile he went right down to where the surf broke against the shore and laid down, water lapping at his feet, soaking the socks and ruining the expensive leather shoes. He felt the waves crash, sometimes higher and sometimes lower, but slowly the tide receded. Once he was left by the waves, damp and uncomfortable, upon the sand he opened his eyes.

It was like being born again.

But something was missing.

He couldn’t invite her here for this ritual for a couple reasons: 1. it wasn’t practical. 2. He didn’t know how she’d react. It was possible she would be flattered, but he predicted with grim certainty that she would be far more uneasy about the prospect. Relena often seemed nervous around him for some reason. Her evasions of him were somewhat confusing. What was he doing to upset her so? A voice in his head suggested he wasn’t getting the whole picture, but whatever it was that he was missing he was unable to identify at the moment so he would wait until the right conclusion struck.

It was the rain that hit him from the dark sky that drove him from the beach. On the one hand, he wanted to stay, but he couldn’t risk making himself sick. That would mean missing work and his work was more important to him than anything. It was all he seemed to have left, all that he could redefine himself with.

With all of his good intentions he ended up still wandering around, getting soaked to the skin wherever the waves hadn’t touched. The rain was like a mist, making the world fifty feet in front of him cease to exist. He walked a long way down the beach like this. When he reached the edge, where the rocks were piled high and met some cliffs, he climbed up the side. Slick as it was, and as cold and stiff as his hands were, they presented little challenge. Even so, he would have gone faster when he was 15 in those years of harsh conditioning. Now he was larger, slower, but a lot wiser and more efficient. It seemed a fair enough trade.

He walked back to the motorcycle, his discarded jacket left behind but not forgotten, and got on it with no firm intention of what he wanted to do or where he would go. The rain was still giving him visibility issues, so he decided not to go too far away. Of course the only person who lived anywhere near here was. . . her. Sometimes it seemed like fate had a hand in his life, but that was just an idle thought because he didn’t put any faith in destiny. Chance he understood. Probability, numbers – the science of it all.

When he showed up at her doorstep, he asked himself why he was there again. He had made it home in worse weather conditions. Dense fog. High wind. But the only reason he could come up with was that it seemed to be the right thing to do. He had visited their beach, and it was fitting that he see her now. The butler answered the door and gave a start at Heero’s appearance, but let him in. Heero was one of her bodyguards after all, and they had gotten used to his presence at certain functions.

Heero chose to stand in the hall and wait until she came down the stairs, casually dressed from the lazy Saturday afternoon’s leisure. Relena’s eyes lit with that light that he egotistically assumed was just for him but her expression became mercurial, shifting from pleasure to anger.

“Heero Yuy, you look like a drowned rat! Dripping mud and water in my hallway. . . What a gracious visitor.” Her foot tapped as he continued to regard her with a blank expression. His body gave an involuntary shiver. Relena just sighed. “Well, I’ll try to dig out some clothes for you. I’ll have someone come get you and show you to a shower.” She didn’t wait the response she knew she wasn’t going to get.

As she went out to find his intended guide he followed her with his eyes and tried to memorize everything about her in the moment. From the messy bun of her hair and the long sweater with bunched up sleeves, to the sway of her skirt. When she wasn’t in her formal dresses or suits she seemed like a different person. No, she seemed like a normal person. A change of clothes could signify her change in roles, but he was always himself. Yet another thing he envied and pitied her for.

He sneezed and cursed the rain.

A man came up to him, and asked Heero to follow. Heero complied and walked up the stairs and down several twisting corridors until he arrived at a set of rooms. After he had been led to the bathroom the guide disappeared and left Heero to wash the sand and dirt from his body. The warmth brought blood and feeling back to his hand and arms, a welcome consequence, and once he was dry he walked out of the shower to find his clothing gone from where he had left it piled. On further inspection he found some dry clothing folded neatly in a pile and a small pile of his things next to it which had previously been in his pockets.

The clothes fit well enough, but they were more like something Quatre would wear. Slacks, white dress shirt, blue vest. . . they felt strange but as long as he considered it a uniform it was bearable. The knock at the door caught his attention. He was fastening the buttons on his coat as he answered the door.

“Is it ok? I tried to find something I thought would fit. You’re only a little smaller than my brother, and he left so much stuff in his old room.” At Heero’s disgruntled frown on not only being reminded of his smaller stature but that he was wearing said man’s old clothes – especially the boxers – somehow he wished she hadn’t brought it up at all.

“It’s fine.” That did explain the bagginess at least. And the straight-laced look.

“I think you look very nice. Not that your usual suits or uniforms aren’t nice.” She walked around the room and wandered over to the drapes which she then pulled aside to glance at the outdoors. “It’s still raining terribly hard. You can stay here as long as you like. Right now your clothes are being washed. That should take about two hours.”

What would they do for two hours? It was a simultaneous thought from two terribly different people.

“I was just reading when you came, so it’s nice to have some company to distract me.”

It was an odd comment. “What were you reading?”

“The news. For 18 different countries, sometimes more. Just the important stuff. They give me a big thick packet every Friday. It puts me in mind of homework.” Her laugh wasn’t forced, but it was strained. “And I thought I was past homework once I left school. Then again, we all take our work home with us, I’m sure, to some extent.” She refocused in on him. “What do you do with your free time, Heero? I don’t know if I ever really asked. You’ve just always seemed like you never stopped.”

“I drive.”

“Where?”

“Wherever.”

Relena flopped down in a chair in front of the window with a wistful expression, more of her hair escaping from the bun. “That sounds lovely.”

It was on the tip of his tongue to ask her to come with him sometime, but that wouldn’t be prudent. She was just being polite. She should also not put in any sort of danger and the way he rode his bike was rather, hm, reckless. As he looked at her, he saw her eyes were half closed and she was staring out of the window in a sightless and unfocused way.

“What do you do?” She started at the sound of his voice. “In your free time, what do you do?” He knew because he always knew what she was doing, but he got the feeling that letting conversation die was undesirable.

“I think we both know. . . . I’m stuck in this place usually. Mostly I watch a lot of movies. Sometimes I sleep or go swimming. But I’ll tell you something I bet they didn’t know I did.” Heero’s attention perked even as the bodyguard in his mind made mental notes. “I go into the storage rooms and pull out old clothes and put them on. Sometimes I even put on some music and dance. I always make sure that I tell people I’m ‘reading’.”

This explained why she read so much and yet owned so few books.

“Pretty silly, eh?” She shrugged at the same time Heero did. “But whatever makes you happy, I say. And if I want to wander my own house then that’s my prerogative. It does feel a little bit like I’m getting somewhat eccentric. I don’t want to end up a Miss Havisham. Then again, not much chance of that. I’ll probably never get to an alter let alone be left at one.”

Heero was uncomfortable with the turn her words were taking.

“We’re so young Heero. But I feel old.”

“Yeah.” He had no great revelations to add. The feeling was mutual. Then Relena got THAT look in her eyes. He almost groaned.

“So let’s do something young.” She shot up out of her chair and grabbed his hand, pulling him behind her. Curiosity won over caution.

“What?”

“We’re going to sneak out of the house, and get some coffee down the block.” Her hand motions were animated, but he was more interested in the hand clutching his own. So smooth and soft, he gave it a small squeeze and then immediately reprimanded himself.

“We could just have coffee here.”

“You’re missing the point entirely.” She stopped and held his other hand, head tilted, messy hair giving her a halo of blond. “Now think of a way we can get out without being seen and I’ll try to steal us an umbrella.”

“You own the umbrella, it isn’t stealing.”

“Stop that! Don’t be a killjoy. Now get to work on a plan.” She dropped his hands and walked away, a slight skip to her step.

This was absolutely ridiculous. They were sneaking out the house when there was no one to really stop them from leaving. They were stealing an umbrella that she already owned. Ultimately, it was an entirely artificial thrill, but somehow she had brought a smile to his face. Quickly bringing an end to that nonsense, he formed an informal route he knew was not monitored quite as closely. It would require a detour through the gardens and through the garage, but he knew all the ins and outs. If Relena wanted some time outside without her security, then he would give it to her. He was going to be there, and he always felt no one did as good a job as he did.

Flushed and panting a little from her run up and down the long side stairs, Relena clutched the bright yellow umbrella like a lifeline. Heero scowled. It would be difficult to hide something so bright, even in low visibility like today.

“Couldn’t you find something less conspicuous?”

“It was the first one I saw. I thought I heard someone coming, so I just grabbed it an ran.” Her smile faded a little. “Don’t give me that look. I’m no soldier. But you are. You’re the best there is and I know you can work around this. You have always been so good at improvisation.” She knew just how to inflate his ego. Even if he knew what she was doing didn’t mean he didn’t like hearing it.

“I guess so.”

“I knew it! You’re the greatest, Heero. I’m so glad you came by today or I’d never have gone on this adventure.” She jumped into his arms, hugging him in a swirl of floral scent and soft pliant limbs. In a moment it was over, but he knew he’d be reliving it vividly for days. “Now let’s go.” She forged on, unknowingly leaving Heero in an emotional avalanche.

It was entirely unfair of her to be just so. . . . cute.

Well, for her he would make this day good. Soon enough she would have to turn back to a reality that was slowly attempting to crush this playfulness out of her. But knowing Relena, she would resist it to the last. Somehow, even being pulled along on a silly outing, wearing her brother’s old clothes, he found himself looking forward to it.