Welcome back! Um… This chapter includes a lemon. And I upped the scale a little bit, so though it is not crass, it is a little more detailed. You'll know when it's coming so you may certainly skip it if sexual situations are not your thing. However, if anyone has a problem with the sexual content of the story in regard to ff.net's rules, please let me know personally before you hound me out. I will gladly revise the story to suit anyone who is uncomfortable with the content. This story is not supposed to be about sex. That is just part of the story (and an important part). I want to keep what is important, but I don't want to lose the story. Anyway, thank you very much for reading. Please leave a review!

By Zapenstap

Relena slept fitfully and woke up in the predawn. The night outside the windows above Heero's bed was only just starting to lessen, a royal blue replacing the black pitch of earlier hours. Beside her, Heero was sleeping soundly, his hair limp over his eyes and the sheet pulled down to his waist. That she was allowed to watch someone like Heero sleep suggested an intimacy that warmed her marrow. He was letting her see him vulnerable, to be with him vulnerable.

She sat up and wrapped her arms around her knees, turning to look at her sleeping lover. She had the crazy urge to touch his face, to trace the lines of care around his eyes and jaw, to smooth out the sharp angles and tense muscles. He often dreamed intensely, starting a little sometimes, his features tightening in response to whatever he was seeing in his mind, but tonight he lay as relaxed and restful as a baby. He looked so beautiful and so tranquil a part of her wanted to wake him up just so she could touch him and kiss him and begin again what had ended so quickly last night.

She reflected on it soberly. The expectation had been building up in her like a wave cresting a beach, but the actual performance had left her feeling bewildered and cheated. It had all felt too focused and horribly rushed. The pleasurable climax that he worked out of her as a preamble hadn't been enough to satisfy her on an emotional level during the real thing. Even though she had been playing down her expectations, part of her had wanted something more, something memorable and stimulating and beautiful. What she had got instead was discomfort followed by pain and then a quick finish. She had laughed when it was done. All that build up of stress for something that had been over so fast. The quickness had almost been merciful. The pain hadn't been that terrible really, but she realized right away that she was not going to be able to orgasm. Her frame of mind had just been all wrong. The pain had jolted her out of her arousal and with everything being so new, she simply wasn't able to fantasize and get into it again. There hadn't been time anyway. The mechanics just got in the way and at that point she had just wanted it over. She was so relieved that it ended quickly.

She wasn't actually displeased, though. She had had sex with Heero and gotten that infamous first time out of the way. She was no longer a virgin. Besides, she believed it would get better.

Realizing that she wasn't tired at all, Relena wondered what she should do. Heero was asleep and she didn't want to wake him, but it was difficult to lie in the dark with him and not be able to do anything except think. Softly, she tossed back the blankets and got back out of bed. Her body was so flushed that she didn't feel the cold at all. She walked out of the room naked and was surprised and bemused at how awkward she felt just moving around after sex. She remembered what it was like to have Heero inside her. Her whole body tingled with the recollection.

For some reason, being naked in Heero's empty house after having sex with him didn't embarrass her at all. She turned on the kitchen lights and took some delight in walking about naked in a lit room. She ate some bread and drank a glass of water and then she removed to the couch. She pulled a pillow up on her lap and thought about the work folio due at work on Monday, reflecting that other than that she had nothing really to do this weekend except get used to the idea of sleeping with Heero. How regularly would they have sex? Would it be a lot at first and then become less as the novelty wore off? Would they ever move out of the bedroom? She never wanted to be in a relationship where sex just stopped because the people involved were unimaginative, inhibited, bored of each other, too busy or just not able to please. But how was that to be avoided? Was being with one person your whole life simply too tedious a thing to be realistically done? She glanced back at the bedroom where Heero lay sleeping and felt a soft pang in her heart. She couldn't imagine being with anyone other than Heero. She wanted to share herself with him her whole life. Surely feelings like that, as simple and natural as anything, couldn't be mistaken. She was willing to put in the work that must go into a healthy relationship, to make sacrifices and compromises when it was necessary and to try to please him; she would be as perfect as she could be.

"Relena?"

She looked up in surprise. Heero stood naked in the hallway, leaning with his elbow against the wall above his head. She flushed, staring at him, feeling suddenly conscious of her own body, and hugged the pillow to her lap. Heero was watching her with sleepy eyes, but he was waking up even as she watched, and looked puzzled more than anything.

"I didn't want to wake you," she said softly. "I just wasn't tired."

He cast his gaze about the room and she felt a sudden upsurge of emotion for him. He looked troubled and she realized that maybe he just hadn't expected to wake up alone. What if for a few moments he had thought that she had left him? She stood up swiftly, leaving the pillow where it would lie and entreated him anxiously with her eyes. He looked at her for a moment, his eyes wandering over her nakedness. "Come back to bed," he said simply.

She came to him as he requested, following him into the room and staying by his side while he closed the door. He looked a little out of it still, straightening in the blue-dark of night's shadows, but what she noticed most were the muscles in his arms and back, and how smooth his skin looked, and blushed with the thoughts that crept into her head. His hair fell over his eyes as he turned slightly, one of his hands reaching out to touch her gently and secure her about the waist. His fingers splayed over her hip, caressing the softness of her skin in the darkness.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, searching for his eyes. They were closed, but she knew he heard her.

"How do you feel?" he whispered back. She could tell he wasn't fully aroused, but there was something about his body language that suggested interest. His hands roamed her body with thorough touches that almost frightened her so soon after their first time. She still hadn't fully digested everything and her body remembered too keenly his last invasion. But then, she hadn't been fulfilled, and as she thought about it, the soreness became more of an ache.

Shadows swallowed them both as he stepped into her, and his hands slid down to her rear, applying pressure from behind and underneath to lift her up toward him, his mouth finding hers in a kiss that was breathy and warm and caused her to shiver. She tilted her head away from the kiss, breathing in cool air to her body. "Heero?" His lips touched her neck.

She brought her head back down and watched his eyes open, catching the intensity in a stare that was almost like a challenge. He wanted to redeem himself and satiate her. The flat of his hands ran up the outside of her thighs, applying just enough pressure to make her stand up on her toes. He caught her about the waist and pulled her against him, running his hands along her back while he kissed her shoulders and held her close. She hung onto his shoulders with a contented smile, feeling his naked body sculpt to hers, feeling his erection harden against her thigh. She liked the way he was set up, the masculine broadness, the steadiness, the strength and sense of safety. Touching his jaw, she turned his face to her and kissed him slowly, languidly, taking her time, and he returned her pace, torturing her with long, deep kisses that scored her inside and touches that seemed to press into her soul.

She caught his eyes as he drew his head slowly away, the flash of deep blue soaking up the darkness. "I feel good," she told him, and meant more than that she was just all right. She leaned in to kiss him, and the warm wetness of his lips was no longer enough. "Heero…"

His hand brushed her inner thigh and slipped abruptly between her legs. Surprised, she hung onto his shoulders as he pushed two fingers into her. It didn't hurt anymore. There was a touch of soreness when he tested her, but it wasn't painful; it felt good. Something inside her clenched, winding tight like a coiled spring. He kissed her throat as he moved his hand rhythmically, and her hips responded in kind, pushing his palm up to where it stimulated her clitoris. She bit his shoulder, muffling a few escaping sounds as she rocked her body into his hand. Relena could feel his other hand on her back, caressing her softly and lovingly and had the sense that he was looking down at her even if she couldn't bring herself to pull away from him long enough to see. She felt his erection against her stomach, a hardness that grew when her body rubbed against it. His heartbeat had sped up too and his breathing was getting more labored, but not as fast as hers was getting. He was working her and she knew that if he kept it up she would climax too soon.

Heero seemed to know it too. His hand left her and he steadied her at the hips. She gulped in air, opening her eyes slowly, and when she saw his member straining for her, took him in her hand without his direction. Heero didn't say anything or make any sounds, but she heard him swallow and felt him tense and knew what he wanted. Moving her hands on his hips, she lowered herself slowly to her knees and wondered what it was like to have her do this to him. When she took him into her mouth, she was pleased to see the muscles in his face become tight and feel his hand touch her hair, sometimes digging his fingers lightly into her scalp. His mouth parted as he gulped in air and at last she worked a moan out of him. That's when she stopped, rising to stand in front of him while he slowly opened lust-filled eyes to find her waiting there.

"I want…" she began.

He seized her by the wrist, his eyes shining with something carnal and desperate as he pulled her into his embrace. "I know," he said, his voice low and breathy in her ear, "I can do it." He backed her up to the bed and she sat down softly, half propped against the headboard. She watched Heero as he leaned over her, swallowing anxiously as he parted her knees so he could slip between them. She was aching inside, feeling her blood beat loud and rhythmically through her arteries. But Heero took his time. He started with her stomach, kissing her navel and rubbing her thighs with his hands. She kept anticipating that he would dip lower, but he avoided it, instead crawling up her body and kissing her into submission until she began to sink down from the headboard to the covers. Her head hit the pillow and he hovered completely over her, propped up on his elbows, his muscles rippling in her eyesight. She began to feel overheated, her anticipation climbing. His erection pressed into her stomach.

She touched his hips, applying pressure to indicate that she wanted him to slide down, to fill her and satisfy her the way she needed to be satisfied. He ignored her urgings. His hands gathered her hair, brushed against her neck, caressed her breasts. His pace was still tortuously slow, but the rhythm was deep and intense, like the power of ocean waves crashing into her over and over. She cried out his name, moaning that it was okay, pleading for him to take her.

He kissed her lips hungrily, cutting off her cries, and shifted his body over her until she felt him push in. It didn't hurt and she wanted it. His control seemed to break and he gasped, stopping inside her, trying to adjust. Her hands stroked his chest and arms, encouraging him to continue, telling him how close she was already. He began again at her urgings, his expression tightening as he fought to stay long enough to please her. She felt it build quickly and spread her legs wider, grabbing his hips and pushing him in. She told him she was close, whimpering into his ear, begging him to keep going. She felt her body go rigid and his shoulders tense. She cried out softly, her strangled noises drowned out of her conscious understanding as he sped up suddenly, driving himself to an orgasm. She came right before he did, the world bursting from inside, and was barely aware of him shaking over her, clearly spent. Even after he finished he continued to shake, breathing raggedly, trembling with exertion.

Relena pulled Heero to her, holding him close as he gasped for air and settled into her embrace, his head on her breasts. She was surprised to feel tears flood her eyes as she held him and kissed his hair and tried desperately not to tell him she loved him. She wanted to so much her heart ached with it, but she fought back the emotion, drying her eyes, and tried to relax, to enjoy the afterglow. She knew she should say something, to tell him how good it was this time, but she was also pretty sure that he knew already and she didn’t trust her voice.

Eventually he lifted himself high enough to kiss her. "Was that better?" he whispered into her ear. She nodded mutely knowing she must be flushed, hoping he wouldn't see the shed tears glistening on her cheek. "I'm so tired," he said, and muffled a plaintive groan into her skin. He rolled off her, reaching down to pull the covers over the pair of them. She felt the blankets cover her, enveloped in their warmth, and then smiled as Heero's arms went around her under the covers, his body sidling along her body and his heat seeping into her flesh. She laid her head on the pillow and closed her eyes, wiping away all her thoughts, and tried to fall asleep again.

Relena woke again when she felt Heero stirring. A glance at the clock told her it was midmorning and she immediately felt bad for having slept in so long. Heero sat up when she turned over, shaking his head and rubbing a hand through his hair. Relena realized the covers were wrapped mostly around her and wondered if she had tugged them away from Heero while they slept, or if he would notice if she did.

"Good morning," she said, feeling sweet and lazy and pleased by the sunlight streaming in through the window.

He turned his head to smile at her and then crawled over her body. Although the sheets and comforter separated them, his weight was heavy and she felt decidedly trapped. By the way he was smiling, he wasn't asking for anything, though. He just seemed to want to be close to her.

"I must look awful," she said before she thought. Her face always looked sweaty in the mornings, her hair was sure to be messy and tangled and all her imperfections looked ten times worse before she showered and dressed and applied make-up.

He narrowed his eyes, shifting on top of her so that he was lying completely across her on top of the covers and then reached up to brush hair away from her face. "Don’t say that," he said. "I've already told you you're beautiful." From his tone, it was like he expected never to have to say it again, like she should memorize the information and never need to ask. It sounded like him.

"I need to shower," she said.

He let her up, rolling off of her and onto his side, and then watched as she pushed back the covers and sat up. His eyes followed her as she got out of the bed. She felt a little self-conscious under his stare, going so far as to blush and then berating herself for it. Once she was out of the room she managed to relax, pacing down the hallway to the bathroom and shutting the door to guard her privacy. She looked in the mirror in grimaced. Heero was a fine liar but she looked worse to herself than she thought she would. Her hair was stringy, her face sweaty, and her imperfections looked worse than ever. But maybe Heero didn't notice them. Sometimes she believed that he was sweet enough.

While she turned on the water and waited for it to get hot, she heard a knock on the door.

"What is it?" she asked, unlocking it and sticking her head out. Why was she hiding behind the door?

"Clean towels," Heero said, handing a folded set of blue ones to her. "I wasn't sure there were any in there."

"Thank you," she said, taking them. They stared into each other's eyes a moment and he didn't make any movement to leave. "Did you…" she stammered. "Did you want to come in with me?" She blushed at the thought. Where had this aggression come from?

He eyed her sideways. "Not right now."

She wasn't sure whether to feel disappointed or relieved or puzzled. He was probably just sated from the night. "All right," she said.

But she left the door unlocked when he went away. The shower felt good as soon as she was in it, and it distracted her from her thoughts. She luxuriated in the feel of the hot water pouring down over her head from the faucet, soaking her hair against her head and back and flowing over her body. Sex was messier than she had really realized it was going to be and it felt good to wash off. She lathered shampoo in her hair and then rubbed Heero's cake of cheap soap into her skin. She missed her moisturizing lather washes. Cake soap made her skin feel squeaky. Likewise, Heero's shampoo made her hair feel dry. She had heard that leaving your things in your boyfriend's home might make him feel encroached upon, but this wasn’t going to work for her. She used to carry some things around in her bag, but at this point she ought to be able to start leaving some things here. She was Heero's girlfriend. He shouldn't mind something like that.

Heero didn't join her in the shower but she found herself fantasizing about what it would be like if he did. She couldn't believe that she wanted him again already. Was this really her? It seemed almost unreasonable and she hadn't felt quite this way when she was sitting on the couch earlier, so what had changed? It must have been because she enjoyed the sex this time. She wondered if she should feel lucky. Gossip informed her that most girls' experiences weren't this good this quickly. It must take some people awhile to work things out, to familiarize themselves with one another, and that was if both people in a relationship were giving equally. But Heero seemed so interested in pleasing her, and he was so thorough about doing whatever it was he set his mind to that she couldn't help feeling special. It made her sad to think that other girls were perhaps not so lucky, that maybe a lot of people were enduring her initial disappointment over and over until they gave up on it. Maybe men weren't trying hard enough. Maybe girls' bodies just weren't up to it, or maybe it was their frame of mind. Was there any kind of secret? She wished she knew.

After her shower Relena combed out her hair and wrapped herself in a towel. She wondered if her being in a towel would excite Heero at all. It covered her from the top of her breasts to the top of her thighs, but it was something that would come off easily. She blushed again. What was with all these thoughts?

Heero had put on boxers and was in the process of changing the bed sheets when she padded back into his room, still wrapped in a towel and barefoot. He turned to look at her when she came in and a smirk teased at the corners of his mouth. "You look sexy," he said almost coyly, almost teasingly.

"Well I didn't have my clothes," she replied.

He finished tucking in the corners of the bed while she stood by and watched. He was as perfect about bed-making as anything else. "What did you want to do today?" she asked.

He shrugged. Patting the bed, he got up off his knees and approached her softly. His chest was warm and smooth and felt nice to her as she kissed his sternum tenderly. His arms wrapped around her, caressing her care shoulders and curiously exploring the towel wrapped around her body. "I don't know," he said in answer to her question. "I need to take a shower too. Can I use your towel?"

She didn't have time for surprise before he grasped the edge of it and pulled it deftly from her body. Cold swept over her as the protective covering unfolded and air pebbled her skin. She gasped, but he only smiled, taking in her nakedness once again with that same self-satisfied smirk. His hand brushed over her stomach and it fluttered as he passed her by, carrying her towel as he headed for the bathroom.

Once he was gone, Relena made a search for her clothes. She sat on the edge of the bed while she dressed, knowing why Heero had changed the sheets. She didn't think she had bled, or not much, but there was other stuff that needed to be cleaned up. She didn't think much of it. Stuffing her lingerie into her bag, she instead pulled on the more comfortable cotton items that she had packed for today and then a pair of jeans and the tight sweater she had worn the day before. That sweater was new and she hardly got to wear it at all yesterday. She was doing her hair when Heero came back, pulling half of it away from her face and pinning it behind her head with a silver clip. The hairstyle had been hers as a naive girl, but though she wanted her hair to dry, she also wanted it out of her face, so it would serve a purpose for now. She didn't really care if Heero thought it childish.

He didn't seem to notice at all. He dressed in front of her while she watched, returning the same stares he had given her. She didn't think he minded as much and wasn't entirely sure he had even noticed.

Once dressed, he asked her what she wanted to do.

"I don't know," she said.

It felt weird. Part of her wanted to be treated like a princess and another part of her didn't want to make a big deal out of it. She wanted to feel special and she wanted to be loved. She had given her virginity to him and entrusted herself wholly to him for safekeeping. Her heart was wound up in his regard for her and she wanted him to show her that regard so she could be sure her heart was safe. At the same time, she knew that Heero was a man, mostly oblivious to romantic notions and not likely to think of sex in the same terms she did.

They started with breakfast, which was simple and small portions and which suited Relena just fine. He made tea for her the way she liked it, lightly steeped with a little sugar, and they sat on the couch together to watch the morning news. She couldn't help arguing with the anchors and their portrayal of events that she was personally caught up in, and it was most disconcerting to see herself featured as a highlight of the press.

"Miss Relena Darilan, Vice Foreign Minster of Intergalactic Affairs proposed a resource management campaign that was voted down yesterday in Senate…"

She sighed. Strangely, what has seemed so upsetting the day before meant very little to her today. If the proposal was refused she would simply write another one and word it differently, which a few additional clauses. She would need to win over some of the objecting companies, but she didn't think it was anything she couldn't handle. Looking back on it, it seemed a seriously stupid thing to cry about. Maybe it was because today she was holding Heero's hand and more focused on being his lover than a politician.

"They'll accept it eventually," Heero murmured. "I don't think you have to worry about it."

She accepted this graciously and leaned her head against his shoulder.

What in the world were they going to do all day? Relena wasn't the type of person to be interested in being busy with some activity or another all the time. She was perfectly content to sit around and read the newspaper or a book or work at her job by herself. Spending time with Heero just in the evenings had been difficult enough. Normally, action in the bedroom took up their time together, but they already did that just a few hours ago so what now? Were all relationships like this or was it just because she and Heero were such reserved, solitary people?

The phone rang.

"I'll be right back," Heero murmured, and got up to answer it.

Relena stayed on the couch, pulling her knees in and thinking furiously. She wasn't dating Heero anymore. There was no reason that they should have to spend every moment together entertaining one another. She was comfortable just being here and knowing that he was hers. She couldn't imagine having to try and entertain anyone for the rest of her life. Wasn't evidence of a good relationship that feeling that you didn’t have to make them stay with you? Two people who could just be themselves together… wasn't that what she wanted? She decided to just relax.

Heero returned to her a few minutes later.

"Who was that?" she asked him curiously. She couldn't imagine who would call Heero on his house phone.

"Mandred," Heero replied, seating himself beside her again. He picked up her legs and swung them over his lap, touching her skin at the ankle.

"I haven't seen Mandred in ages," Relena said. "Is he doing all right?" All she knew about Mandred was that he was older, foreign and had known Dr. J professionally when Heero was a child. There seemed to be something else about him too, but she couldn't remember what it was. He was philosophical and mild mannered, but had such a gentlemanly confidence and strength about him that he was hard to ignore. She also knew he loved Heero in a fatherly way, though he treated him more like a favorite student or more distant family member. "What did he want?"

"I don't know," Heero said, and almost sounded puzzled. "To check up on me, I guess."

Relena smiled. How strange for Heero. He must not be used to that. She wondered suddenly if Heero had told Mandred, or anyone, about her. She was troubled momentarily when she thought about it, but then, Heero had few people to tell.

"Hey," he said, "I have to run some errands later. Do you want to come with me?"

"Sure," she said.

"When we get back," he began, looking at her. The way he had been touching her legs changed, lengthening into sweeping caresses that applied gentle, seductive pressure. "Do you…?"

She licked her lips and swung her legs off of him, shifting until she was sitting up on her knees. She leaned in toward him, reaching aggressively for his face with her mouth as his hands went to her waist, slipping under her sweater and feeling her skin. She kissed him softly, climbing into his lap and wrapping her arms around his neck and shoulders. "Are you ready again?" she asked so quietly he had to strain to hear her.

His expression didn't change, but his eyes swept over her measuringly. "Yeah."

She kissed him again and took the initiative to open his mouth, filling his mouth with her tongue. His hands tightened on her waist, his head tilting back to take her. "You're getting aggressive," he whispered when she broke away for air.

"Is that bad?" she asked. She moved her hips softly, hovering over him, trapping him on the couch with his hands on her waist.

"No," he said. "You’d better stop that, though. I really have to run errands…"

She giggled and couldn't believe that sound came out of her. She stopped as he asked, and he almost seemed disappointed when she did, but the next minute he lifted her off him and then offered her his hand.

"Come on," he said. "I've got some things to do and then we'll come back."

It sounded like a good idea to her. She couldn't even be embarrassed. It was difficult to believe she was the same person today as she was yesterday. She didn't know where this sudden aggression had come from. It wasn't that long ago that she had been afraid of her own body's reaction to him. Slowly she had gotten used to him and now it just seemed that all of her worrying was for nothing. She loved Heero and she wanted to share everything with him. Everything. She wanted to feel this way forever.

TBC

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