Every Breathless Whisper

Part 2

by zapenstap

"What do you need, Relena?"  Heero asked in the glow of the lamplight, but she had lost her voice completely now, trembling like a leaf.

He stood up out of the chair, seeming to rise and move toward her in one fluid motion, the concern in the depths of his eyes coupled with the same kind of intensity with which he did everything. Relena stood stock-still as he approached.  She knew as he did not why she had come, and as he approached she couldn't take her eyes off of him.  I can’t do this. Her gaze caressed his face, rolled down the flash of his throat to the rise and fall of his chest and the muscles in his arms.  Her eyes flickered over his groin and she blushed, looking away, afraid her gaze had betrayed her.

He was just a foot or two away now, peering into her face.  "Relena, are you okay?"

Her stomach felt cramped.  A tight knot of emotions rolled in her gut.  She wanted to wrap her hands around his head and kiss him, wanted him to kiss her.  She felt hot, very hot.  Her skin was on fire.  It might help to take off her clothes.  It might help to jump in a lake.

"I've never heard you stammer before," he continued, and gently pulled her hands down, touching her in no more than a friendly way, but his touch struck sparks.

There was space between them, space that in her mind seemed to be collapsing, or wanting to collapse.  He was holding her arms lightly by the wrists so that she was open to any attack he might make, any movement.  She wanted him to close that space.

"Heero," she said as evenly as she could manage, fighting to regain fluidity in speech, but her desperation leaked through.  "Do you think I am a human being?"

He stared at her.  "What do you mean?" he mumbled in disbelief. "Relena, if anyone is human, it's you."

Relena looked down at where they were joined, where his hands encircled her wrists, and wondered if that was the answer she had wanted.  She looked so frail in those hands.  Swallowing, she looked up again at his face, at the line of confusion evident in the tilt of his eyebrows.  Even so he looked patient, so commanding and powerful and controlled that she felt safe again, or safe enough, with a little courage.  "Heero," she began again.  "Am I... do I seem like a sexual creature to you?"

His mouth parted slightly in astonishment, his eyes widening a fraction.

She rushed on, leaning slightly toward him in her urgency, her wrists still captive of his hands.  "I mean, would you... would someone like you want to make love..." she shook her head, "have sex with me, desire me, if I offered, if you liked me?"

A moment or a minute ticked by in silence.  She was terrified that he would turn her away, that he would break her heart and her spirit by telling her she was too good for him, or that he didn’t love her. "Relena," he said, and the look on his face caught her by surprise; such swift, emotional agony, terrible to behold.  His hands gripped her wrists tighter, squeezing, shaking.  His voice was controlled, too controlled not to be forced, "you're a beautiful girl, Relena.  Any man would desire you."  But his hands shook where his voice did not, and it seemed to equal the swift, shaky pounding of her heart.  "What..." this time he choked. "What are you asking me?"

"Would you make love to me?" she said clearly, audibly.  "Right now?  I need to feel, Heero.  I need to know."  Tears sprung up in her eyes.  "I need to know that I exist here, that I am capable of raw expression, of passion, of intimate human touch."  Her eyes pleaded with him as she drew closer, every nerve in her body taut as waves of heat coursed through her.  She could smell him this close, the musky sent of a man at the end of a day, of leather and steel and earthly scents.  He stared down at her, his chest heaving, emotions rippling through his eyes, but he hesitated, gripping her wrists more tightly with those trembling hands.  She felt she was going to sink against him now; her bones were turning to jelly.  "Don't you want to know, Heero?" she continued.  "What other people do, what normal people feel?  Don't you want to know?"

He breathed then, and one hand jerked up from her wrist to her head, sliding beneath her hair, fingers threading between the strands.  "Yeah," he said.  "Yeah, I want to know. But you, Relena..."

"That's part of what I want to know," she interrupted with a cry, and pressed slightly against him, as close as she could with him holding her wrist so tightly, keeping her away. But her legs were free and she took a small step forward.  Her knees knocked into his legs, almost unintentionally.  "If I..."

"I do," he agreed suddenly, gruffly, seeming to surprise even himself by the pronouncement, as if he could not believe he had said it.  "If I'm not dreaming."

It was enough for her.  The tension was too much.  Relena surged forward and up, her body seeming to move of its own accord, breaking past the hold he had on her, her mouth meeting and melding with his hungrily, desperately.  He stumbled backward from her force of movement, his other hand wrapping about her waist and upper back to steady them both.  She hardly noticed.  His mouth tasted so sweet, the hot breath of his throat warming her down to the very center.

Heero tore away from the kiss suddenly, breathing hard, clutching her now about the waist, letting her fall against his chest.   Pressed up so close to him felt wonderful.  She could feel the muscles beneath his shirt, the contours of his body, the heaving of his lungs.

"Are you real?" he asked hollowly, voicing her own thoughts, seizing one of her free hands in his and stroking her fingers.

"Am I?" Relena asked.  "I don't know."

He kissed her roughly and the emotions in her gut somersaulted.  Her head seemed to explode.  She was spinning so out of control she didn't know what was happening, but she knew when suddenly Heero's tongue was in her mouth. She didn't know at first if she'd let him in, if she even wanted him there, but after a moment she couldn't think thoroughly enough to care.  Relena let his tongue rove in her mouth, massaging her tongue, whatever he wanted, and fought back with as much daring as she could muster. She could hear him breathing now and again, heart-lurching breaths that paused and broke forth again like the waves of the sea.

His hands were moving over her body.  She felt them slide down her sides, over her lower back and farther, exploring her curves.  Breaking contact with her mouth, he kissed and then tentatively licked her neck, sucking lightly on her smooth, warm flesh as he inhaled through his nose.  His hands and mouth felt wonderful, but she was growing hotter by the moment and was suddenly quite conscious that they both had on way too many clothes.

She tugged at his shirt, pulling it out of his pants and lifting it higher.  He jerked in surprise, pulling back a little, and her hands lost their grip.  Staring at him, Relena realized that maybe he was a little afraid too, of losing his defenses, of appearing vulnerable to her. But that was the part of sex that brought humans who felt that way closer.  After a moment he relaxed and lifted his head from her throat, clutching her fiercely, staring into her eyes as if to ask if this was really what she wanted, what she was really asking of him, as if he could just not believe it.  But that was why she was here, to prove that it was what she wanted, and it was what she was asking him.

Deliberately, she lifted her thigh up between his legs to his crotch, never breaking their gaze. He let out a small sound, half gasp and half moan, and the expression on his face in combination with the sound caused her to react as well.  She swallowed but it only encouraged her to move her to keep going, rubbing against him.

He said something in a muted mumble, deftly and frantically shedding her of her coat, letting it fall unnoticed to the floor.  His hand pressed against her, his fingers inching up beneath her skirt.  She was shocked still with anticipation and anxiety as he touched her hip, but he stopped before he got anywhere, releasing her leg, breathing raggedly into her neck.    "Relena, I don't... I've never..."

"I know," she replied quietly.  "Me too.  It's okay."  Relena began to undo the buttons of her blouse while he watched. Gingerly, with a new slowness and reverence, Heero removed her hands and took hold of the blouse himself, pulling it carefully off her shoulders and arms.  It fell behind her, forgotten.  Heero hesitated, seeming so uncertain about touching her, though his eyes swam with desire as he stared at her skin, at the small breasts hidden behind the lace of her bra, one bra strap falling over her shoulder.  Gently, he brushed her ribs with his fingertips and then slid his hands behind her back, pressing against her skin to pull her closer, a certain wonder overflowing in his eyes as if the smoothness of her skin amazed him, as if touching her amazed him.

Relena went back to his shirt, pulling it quickly up and over his head.  Heero's hands released her so that the shirt would come off, but once she had dropped it to the floor his arms came back around her, enfolding her.  Smoothing both hands over his upper stomach and chest, Relena hoped to cool her fevered flesh, but she found that he was warm too, a warm-blooded human being.  Even so, he shivered at her touch, flinching, almost as if he had not really expected her to touch him as he did her.  She slid her palms over his skin lovingly, searching his neck and shoulders with her eyes, and then with a small inhalation of breath went calmly for the buttons on his jeans.

He closed his eyes.  Her hands trembled a little as she undid the last button and began to pull his jeans down over his hips, but she knew that for this to happen, this was a necessary step, and no matter how scared and uncertain she was, she wanted this to happen.  She could see him through the barrier of his briefs, erect and straining and the sight was enough to shock her with its reality.  Almost on accident, the back of her fingers touched him as she struggled to pull his jeans off.

"Relena..." he gasped, practically a hiss through his teeth.

"Why don't you sit on the foot of the bed, Heero?" she suggested, distracted, and he only had to back up a pace to sit down, half falling.  Once he was seated, removing his jeans was easier, and Relena kicked them aside without a second glance.  Feeling calmer, she glanced down at Heero again, noting the last piece of clothing left.  "Take those off," she whispered, and struggled out of her skirt while he obeyed mechanically, unembarrassed, his eyes glued to what she was doing, tracing the curve of her hips and thighs as she revealed them to him, lingering over the obstructive barrier of her underwear.  He was completely unclothed now, and she couldn't help staring, especially with the way he stared back at her.   "Do you want to touch me?" she asked suddenly, and wondered where the hell the courage to ask that came from.  She didn't mean it in a teasing way, though maybe it had that effect, but his erection was full on as far as she could tell and she couldn't help asking, curious at the way his eyes seemed to stroke her while his hands remained perfectly still.

He didn't move, though, as if incapable of it.  Acting to fill the void, she knelt in front of him, scooting her body between his legs so that his knees were to either side of her shoulders.  The bed was low or he would have been higher, but it didn't matter really.  She could reach him now easily enough, and in more places than just one.  Gently, she ran her hands up his chest and then draped her arms over his legs, pulling him in around her.  He kissed her temple softly, breathing deeply, and let his hand run over her ear and down to her shoulder, stroking the soft skin of her shoulders and collarbone.

She brought her hands down to the inside of his thighs, remembering what she had imagined in her office.  His eyes clouded over and he closed them.  "Relena, you don't have to do that."

"I know," she said, shifting backward a bit, mostly out from between his legs.  She didn’t have to, but she tired of being thought too pure, tired of feeling a sense of vulgarity about these things. Gently, she touched the head of his member and then encircled her hand about the shaft, surprised at the silky texture and the hardness that became even harder as she squeezed lightly.  She watched his face for his reaction as she began to stroke him lightly and rhythmically.  At first it seemed like he was trying to control his response, but after a moment his head fell forward a bit, face contorted, his hands gripping the coverlet to either side of him.  Encouraged, she dipped her head down and took him into her mouth, sucking lightly.  His eyes snapped open and he let out a gasp, followed by a moan.  His hands came to her head suddenly, entangling in her hair.

"Relena..." he protested.

She pulled off of him, suddenly unsure.  "You don't want me to?" she asked. Again, that fear of rejection welled up in her, that sense of insecurity and self-consciousness and uncertainty.

His breathing was ragged.  "What?" he said in surprise, but he was obviously not focused enough to process anything but the pleasure he was feeling.  "No, I do," he said.  "It's just...god, Relena."

She didn't give him a chance to explain further. Leaning forward, she took him back into her mouth and began again, pulling him in deeper than before. He moaned out loud as if the sound was drug from him by force and pushed her head down, almost to the point where she began to gag, but she obeyed as well as she could, encircling his erection with her tongue, drawing him in repeatedly.

"Harder,” he groaned, and surprised that he would command her, she complied until he jerked a little, bucking up into her mouth as if imitating intercourse in her throat.  His reaction startled her and she was a little afraid he would climax and it would be over, so she pulled her mouth off of him and rested her hands on his thighs, waiting for him to calm down.

But he didn't seem like he wanted to calm down, or that he was at all hesitant anymore.  He leaned forward and grabbed her with wild urgency, strong hands lifting her off of her knees and pulling her up on top of him as he leaned back and they both toppled onto the bed.  She could feel every inch of him beneath her skin for a moment, his smooth, rock hard chest, his stomach, his hands.  But she was more absorbed with his eyes, staring into hers, full of such passion and fire it almost frightened her.

"You're so soft," he said in amazement, hands caressing her back.

While she had been in control, in no fear of him touching her, controlling her, the furnace in her belly had settled to a simmer, but now it roared to life again and heat spread through her body.  Heero seemed to catch something in her eye for he suddenly heaved upward, hips crashing into her as he flipped them both over until he hovered just above her, trailing a hand from her neck to the breasts still hidden by her bra.  Reaching behind her back, he fiddled with the bra strap until he managed to unclasp it.  Undone, it loosened around her chest and her breasts could be seen through the gaps.  A strange grim look was in his face as he pulled and tossed the undergarment away, his other hand running up her flat stomach and over one bare breast, his palm grazing across the nipples. Relena gasped, amazed at their sudden sensitivity.  The look on his face did not frighten her. He just seemed very intent on what he was doing.  It was the usual way with him when he controlled his emotions, able to do and feel separately, at least when he was the one doing and she was the one feeling.  His other hand caressed her other breast, his thumb and forefinger rubbing the nipple until it hardened.  Relena almost wanted to apologize that her breasts were so small, for the way they almost sunk into her body when she was on her back, but he seemed more intent on the expressions on her face and she really wasn't clear-headed enough to say much of anything.  Abruptly, he bent his head down, taking her breast into his mouth, swirling his tongue across the hardened nub.  She gasped and grabbed the back of his head, digging her fingers into his hair as she stared at the ceiling, just letting the sensations wash over her.  Heero moved his head, switching to the other breast, lathering it with his tongue.  Little cries escaped from her throat.  As he worked on her, she could feel the blood pumping in her body and a wetness between her legs.

"Heero," she cried, "I'm ready.  Please..."

"No you're not," he said huskily, assuredly, again planting a kiss on her collarbone, his hands surrounding her ribs.  "You made me cry out.  I want to hear you cry out."  His mouth left her upper body and descended lower.  She scooted back on the bed, giving him more room, though a bolt of fear wormed in her gut wondering what he would do, what he wanted to do.  His hands were all over her, stroking her.  He cupped her crotch through her underwear with one hand and rubbed her clitoris, making her gasp again, enflaming her body with longing. Stopping, he gently he kissed her lower abdomen, lifted her hips and removed the garment.  Nervous, she lifted her knees at his direction, planting her feet wide to make room for him despite the growing and unexplainable knot of anxiety in her stomach.

"I've often wondered," he said suddenly, as if not really speaking to her at all, "what this would be like...with you."  He looked at her, those dark, dark eyes smoldering in the glow of the lamp light.  "You didn't have to do that for me, Relena," meaning the blow job she had given him, even though she hadn't finished.   "I don't want you to feel like you have to..."

"I wanted to, Heero," she said simply.  "I wanted to.  Didn't you want it?"

"I did, but you said you wanted..." he paused, "like you wanted to feel human," he finished, but she sensed that he had changed what he was going to say.  "If what you want is to feel desired then tell me if... tell me if there's anything, if you need..."

Suddenly, she wanted to tell him she loved him, but she did not understand why.  He did not seem like he was asking to hear that, that he wanted to hear that.  He nodded when she didn't respond, as if were a signal to simply continue, and dipped his head between her legs.

Relena drew a sharp breath as she felt one of his fingers enter her, probing experimentally.  A second finger joined it a moment later, stretching the surrounding skin just a little, but enough to give her qualms about what came next, or at least came soon.  Forcibly relaxing, she tried to just enjoy the sensations, and slowly felt her body respond as he moved his fingers in and out, mimicking the motions of intercourse, pushing against her walls and rubbing up against her clitoris.  She felt weak everywhere. God, Heero, when did you learn to do this?  Her head writhed on the pillows by the head board as her body tensed, golden blonde hair flying in all directions from her face.  Unconsciously, she moved her hips against his hand, small sounds escaping her lips.  His thumb pressed directly against her clitoris and she cried out, though she was not sure whether the touch was pleasurable or painful, it was so sensitive.  He looked up at her quickly, checking to see if he should stop, but she said nothing to stay him so he continued, causing a well of pleasure to mount beneath his fingers and spread throughout her entire body as he continued to pump two fingers into her with a steady rhythm.

Without explanation, his fingers and thumb disappeared.  Moaning, she pleaded with him not to stop.  She felt like the water beginning to rise in a tub had suddenly been drained before it could spill over.  Right when she was about to ask him what was wrong, she suddenly felt the brush of hair against her thighs and the warm breath from his mouth between them.  Wetness touched her, the soft wetness of Heero's tongue against her folds.  Relena bit her lip, squirming as his lips encircled her clit, but he did not move his tongue against it.  Cruel tease.  Almost she could sense him smiling, waiting for her to beg.   Giving in, she called out his name, lifting her hips up against him.  She was rewarded when his tongue dipped into her a second time.  He pushed her legs down to either side with his arms, holding her still, and attacked her clit with his tongue, slow at first, then more roughly.  She let her reservations go and gasped, then shouted, crying out his name as the pleasure began to build, accelerating to a roaring fury. She felt perspiration on her skin as he worked his tongue over her even more rapidly.  She began to shake with the rhythm, straining for release, writhing under his administrations.  Without warning it was like the pleasure climbed to a new plateau, and she knew there was no going back.  "Heero, I'm..."  Even as the words escaped her lips she felt it, a resounding shudder that exploded in her center and spread to the rest of her body.  She trembled until the sensations died, until the movement of his tongue felt strange, almost ticklish.  He stopped when she ceased to shake or moan and rose up on his knees, wiping his mouth, watching her from a distance.

"Come closer, Heero," she called, knowing how he must be hurting, wanting.

He complied, surging forward on top of her again, tackling her onto the bed, falling over her until her body seemed to meld against his.  Holding her close, he kissed her mouth fiercely and she tasted herself on his lips, on his tongue, a tangy saltiness that mingled with his scent and the sweetness of his kiss. She felt flushed, spent, but something in the way he kissed and held her awoke her desire again and fresh blood pounded through her veins, stirred her to life.

"Are you ready?" he breathed into her ear, his voice sounding strained. "I don't want to hurt you."  He brushed hair from her eyes and she nodded silently, overcome with an upwelling of feeling for him.  Throwing her arms around his shoulders and neck, she clung to him, her hands clinging to his lean muscles and silk-smooth skin.

He shifted and she moved to let him in between her legs.  He pressed up against her entrance and she braced herself as he slowly squeezed himself into her tight walls.  His face was buried in her neck and hair and she could hear a low moan escape his lips, soft and quiet, almost like a whimper.  He slid in deeper and she felt herself stretch, but she had no time to think of any pain, or what he ought to do.  By the time he was there he broke through, tearing the thin membrane that blocked his entrance. She cried out, tears stinging her eyes, but he waited deep inside her until the shock of pain began to fade.  Even so, she was still unaccustomed to him inside her.

"I'm okay,” she said anyway, squeezing the skin on his back, kissing his neck. 

He lifted his head, supporting himself above her with his elbows so that his hands could cradle her head tenderly.  His eyes were cloudy, heavy lidded as he gazed down at her.  He was in some place of bliss, and the way he looked at her from that place took her breath away.  Slowly at first he began to move, withdrawing and reentering her in a steady rhythm, watching her face.  She lay beneath him, breast heaving, watching the pleasure in his eyes with wonder, feeling him fill her, feeling him slide against the pleasure receptors in her body.  The pleasure began to build again in the silence between them, and she felt it would almost be a crime to moan, to cry out his name, to do anything but feel him, but it was becoming hard not to say or do something.

He broke first, a slight sigh escaping his lips as his eyes closed, and after that she couldn't be quiet.  She moaned with each entry, wrapping her legs around his hips, pushing up into him as he came down to meet her. Her moans lengthened to cries, muted by her fear of sound.  Her cries caused him to groan in return and quicken his pace, pushing harder and deeper and quicker.  With the heightening stimulus, her face contorted and her back arched until her breasts pressed against his chest.

"Relena!" he gasped suddenly.  "I...."

She loved him.  "It's okay," she said breathlessly.

He didn't seem to hear her, struggling to contain himself.  He pulled her slightly up off her back without breaking his rhythm, supporting her with one arm.  He slid more roughly and more easily against her clitoris now, and without warning her body suddenly hit that plateau of pleasure.  She cried out his name, biting his shoulder.  He quickened his pace, his chest sheathed in sweat. Drops of perspiration dampened his forehead. Her own skin was slick with sweat too, and because of it they seemed to slide off one another like oil where they were joined, locked hip to hip, her legs wrapped around him as he heaved in and out of her with forceful urgency. Sweat trickled down between her breasts too, and wherever she touched his skin, she wiped away perspiration.  The heat seemed to come from all directions, from him, from her, from the room.  Groaning, he pushed into her again and she knew the next one would send her over the edge. White lights seemed to flash before her eyes.

"I love you, Heero," she gasped into his ear, practically a cry. He must have heard her, but she couldn't think.  She opened her mouth and felt his lips meet hers as he repeated the thrust and an orgasm shook her body.  She shuddered, melting into his arms, unable even to breathe, but her vaginal muscles clamped hard around him with her release and she felt him quake over her, releasing into her suddenly, fast and hard.

Shaking still, they both breathed in deep and fell back on the bed with a heavy thump, spent of all their energy.  Heero still seemed to tremble as his hands grasped her tenderly about the ribs, his head hanging a little, chest heaving.  Relena touched his cheek and he looked at her, moving his left hand up to stroke her face softly, wiping away a drop of sweat that had dripped from her forehead.  His eyes searched her face, full of something she was almost afraid to define.  "Are you all right?" he whispered.

“I can’t remember ever feeling this good,” she said quietly.  "Thank you."

He closed his eyes, still breathing deeply, and rolled his weight off her.  She followed him as if attached to his every movement, her head settling on his chest, her shoulders nestled in the crook of his arm, her body pressed close to his.  She fell asleep almost immediately, wondering how she was changed, if she was changed at all.  Would he be there when she opened her eyes?  He was holding her now, but she was afraid he would let go any moment, and did not want him to.  Would he vanish like smoke before daybreak, having had all of her, even her heart?  Did she dare expect more, knowing now that she was indeed fully human, and too much in love?