Chapter 7
 

    The chime from the elevator startled Wufei out of his meditation while keeping vigil over Relena's room. His eyes snapped open and he stood up from his chair. The muscles in his legs protested after a five hour-long wait in the rock-hard chair, but he quickly dismissed the pain to glare at 'Heero'. Or the best damned Yuy look-alike imaginable without the benefit of cloning.

    "It's about damn time you arrived." Wufei 'greeted' his long missing comrade.

    Heero glanced briefly at the Penthouse door. "Is she all right?"

    The Preventer stepped in between Yuy and the door. Of course he had heard the argument between Heero and his supposed father, but Wufei wasn't sure he believed the former Zero pilot was being kept there against his will. He clenched his jaw to try to keep his temper in check, but the image of Relena, crying the entire ride back to the hotel pushed him over the edge.

    "Why should you care? You didn't care about her the past three years!" Wufei's hands clenched tightly as he tried to regain control over himself.

    Heero remained silent. He offered no explanation, no apologies. The memory of that day… After three years, it was still too vivid.
 

He grabbed Heero by the shoulder and pinned him against the wall. "Don't be an idiot! You can't go back—"

"I promised, Wufei. Let go." Yuy shoved him back.

"Fine! It's your funeral! And when she's left alone, who will save her?"

The Preventer paused. "She's always been strong enough on her own."

"YOU COWARD!"
 

    "You're still a coward."

    "I—"

    "You didn't save her. Didn't you care? Did she mean that little to you that you could leave her there to die?"

    Heero didn't answer.

    "What makes you think you get to decide? Why did you let Sally die?"

    "Wufei, I… I didn't know."

    "Coward!" Wufei growled. He swung his fist as hard as he could. His fist contacted with the former Zero pilot's cheek causing Heero to stumble back.

    "Bastard!" He struck out a second time and missed. "Ungrateful son of a bitch!" 

    He lunged at Yuy, smashing his back into the wall. Wufei slammed his fist into the other man's stomach. Heero doubled over, the wind knocked out of him. The Chinese Preventer picked him up by his neck and pinned him again to the wall. Heero didn't fight back.   

    "Why are you here and she's not?" Wufei tightened his hold on the former Zero pilot. Yuy's hand came up to pry the Preventer's fingers from his neck. "Why didn't you save her?" Blue eyes gaped back; his face red from lack of air – for a moment, Wufei saw Sally in Heero's place.

    The strength left his body. His deathlike grip on Heero slipped and he backed away. He stared down at his hands. They shook. "Why couldn't I have been a man and saved her?"

    Heero studied the floor. "I'm sorry. I wish she could be here instead of me."

    Wufei closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "You're still a coward, Yuy. You never did deserve her affections. And after this stunt you pulled, don't expect Relena to forgive you."

    He opened his eyes to see Heero staring at him, his mouth open like he was trying to speak.  Wufei locked his gaze with Yuy's. "You can't fake your death, then just show up three years later and expect her to take you back with open arms."
 

********************************
 

    Heero glanced down at the floor, unable to meet the Preventer's eyes. His jaw felt like it was on fire and throbbed painfully. Wufei believed he had planned his death, which meant Relena might think the same thing. The pain left his jaw and lodged in his chest, making it difficult to breathe.

    "All I remembered until yesterday was waking up in the hospital three years ago, on April 19^th. My father… Hasado told me I had been in a terrible car accident. I had no memory of that day, what happened, or who I was."

    "What?"

    "If only I would have remembered sooner. If I would have tried harder… .

    "You're saying you didn't know Relena was waiting for you?"

    "I still don't remember everything. I remember going to my car and Hasado catching up with me. He wanted to talk - just before the explosion. I remember…. you showed up. I don't know how many times I entered the building before…. ." Heero's head began to pound. He brought his hands up to his temples to massage it away, and growled from the back of his throat. "There's still so much that's gone, and I don't know if I'll ever get it back."

    Wufei snorted. "You expect me to believe that? You've disappeared before."

    "Believe what you want, Wufei. I may have left before, but I truly believe that I would never willingly subject my friends into thinking I was dead. I could never do that to Relena, not when I lov-- Not when I was ready to try."

    Wufei smirked for a second, before his mouth turned down again; his eyes narrowed.  "You're saying you had no idea who you really were the past three years?"

    He shook his head. "I just found out the other night. Seeing Relena on stage must have triggered something. I confronted Hasado and he admitted the truth."

    "I don't know if I believe you or not. It sounds like an easy lie just to get into our good graces again."

    "There's only one person's opinion that matters to me. I know she's hurt and confused. But you have to let me see her, Wufei. I have to explain all of this to her."

    "Now might not be a good time."

    Heero's eyes narrowed. He had come this far and wasn't about to be turned back now. "Why?"

    "She's making arrangements to head back to Earth a day earlier than planned."

    "She's leaving tomorrow?"

    "Yeah. To meet up with her fiancé."

    Heero scowled and looked away.

    "Oh, and one other thing."

    "Hn."

    "She told me not to let you in."
 

***********************
 

    Relena shut the door to the bedroom, hoping it would drown out the voices outside her suite. Every time she heard one rise in anger, her heart would pound. What was going on out there?

    She tried to block out the thoughts that buzzed around her mind. ‘Heero's alive.  Alive. Alive…’  She didn't want to think about it.  Surely, it was wonderful!  Heero was alive!  But….

    A loud thump startled her. She felt her shoulders tense; were they fighting? She didn't want them to fight; she just wanted Wufei to convince Heero to leave.

    Relena moved quickly to the closet, pulled out her suitcases, and started to pack. She and Wufei had a flight back to Earth early in the morning. She had to stay busy, she had to keep her mind off of Heero, but it was impossible. He was alive!

    Part of her felt like she should be angry with his deception. But there was also another feeling tugging at her heart. She kept replaying his words to his father in her mind:

    ‘This is not who I am. You took me away from what was important to me.’

    And then there was the way he had acted at his college's lecture hall. ‘His eyes held so much confusion until he touched....’ She took off the necklace and stared at it. ‘Until he touched this.’

    The door opened behind her, and she couldn't help but pause for a second in her packing. Relena kept her back to the door, trying to ignore the person who had just walked in. She resumed stuffing her clothes into the suitcase. ‘He's alive.  After all this time… But why? Why now?  Why when—‘

    "You're just as beautiful as the last time I remember."

    Relena froze, then looked over at him. He had never called her beautiful before, or said anything affectionate. Her eyes traveled over him, he looked almost the same as she remembered, except for his shorter hair. But things were not the same - they could never be the same again. "The last time you remember?"

    He walked slowly toward her and stopped at the edge of the bed. "You were in your office, talking about us having dinner."

    Relena closed her eyes and glanced away. "What happened to you?" She couldn't get her voice to rise above a whisper.

    "I…I don't remember. I lost my memory and Hasado..."

    "He kept things from you."

    "He.... he kept me from you.”

    Relena shook her head and gave him a weak smile. "I think… He just wanted to be in your life."

    "It was a lie, Relena. What he did--"

    It made sense now. "He did it out of love." She cut him off. "I'm not making excuses for him. But I believe he lied to you because he wanted to know his son."

    "He had no right--"

    "You're right; he didn't." Her eyes were starting to sting from unshed tears. She had missed him so much, but she couldn't stay. "I really need to pack, Heero." She moved across the room and gathered the rest of her belongings. He remained where he stood watching her quietly; she couldn't help but wonder what was going through his mind.

    "Relena... Don't go. I don't want you to… go." He moved to her side; his hand came up to grab her chin. Dark blue eyes she hadn't seen in so long stared down at her, full of hurt. She wanted to throw her arms around his neck, bury her face in his chest and just stay there. 

    "We can't." She stepped away. "Things are different now. Both of our lives have taken different courses. You have your education. I have my job and…" She looked down at her hands. "David. I've made a commitment to him, and…." She took a deep breath and met his gaze. "I love him."

    Heero turned away. He stood with his back towards her - hunched over, hands shoved into his pockets, and his head bowed like he was examining the floor. "What about what we had?"

    "We… We just aren't meant to be." She closed her eyes allowing the tears that had formed to flow down her cheeks. "I believe that everything happens for a reason." She found the courage to look at him again. He had turned back around, his eyes wide and stricken. She swallowed against the sob that welled in her throat. "You were given a second chance…. A chance to have a normal life – one without ever having known the horrors of war, or having to kill."

    "I still don't remember. I may never remember… But I remember everything about you, Relena." He stepped forward again. Her lungs burned for air, and she felt the walls begin to close in. But there was no escape. 

    She stared up at him, pleading for him to understand. "I was given a second chance at love."

    He froze in his place and visibly winced like she had just punched him in the stomach.   

    "I guess we were only destined to be friends."

    "Friends?" Heero choked out. His brow furrowed above blazing eyes. "Relena, maybe not everything has a reason."

    She shook her head. "Everything does. It has to. Why else would there be suffering, and wars, and even the problems we face in our everyday lives? If there's no reason—"

    "Then fate has brought us back together for a reason." He stepped forward again, closing the little remaining distance between them. 

    'Just hold me...'

    "Heero, please don't." She turned her back to him and sobbed quietly into her hands. She hadn't expected it to be this hard; he had never openly expressed his feelings for her before.

    "Why? Why now?" Her heart ached in her chest and she felt like she might just crumple to the ground. "All this time, I missed you so much. But I…I had to move on. I had to…."

    'It hurt so much to lose you.'

****************************
 

    Heero knew this feeling – he had always hated to see her cry. The muscles in his arms twitched, telling him where they wanted to be. Relena didn't tense at his touch as he turned her around and folded her into his embrace. He whispered that he was sorry for upsetting her, that perhaps he had been pushing things too soon. Then his heart dropped into his stomach when she wrapped her arms around him and held on for dear life..

    He touched his lips to her forehead softly and hugged her back. He clenched his eyes shut against his own tears. "I'm not giving up, Relena."

    'I can't give upon us.'