Chapter 4
 

    Zanto raised a hand and knocked on the door to Kira's dorm room. As he waited, two attractive blonds walked by; he pivoted around to watch them pass, and boldly met one's gaze. She blushed, and both girls smiled at him before they turned the corner. As soon as they disappeared from his line of vision, he could hear them giggling. A smirk formed on his face. He didn't know what it was about blond women, preferably dark blond ones that caught his attention. If she had blond hair and blue eyes, he would find himself staring, a part of him felt as though he was searching for something, or someone. His friends noticed it, too, and had picked on him constantly. But if Kira ever caught him....

    The door swung open, revealing the young woman who had been his girlfriend for eight days now. He smiled at her as she grabbed his hand and pulled him into her room. He was glad that they both confessed their feelings for each other; he liked her a lot and was glad that he could explore this emotions with her. He'd never had a girlfriend before, at least not to his knowledge, but then again so much of his memory…

    It was like swiss cheese. There were solid parts surrounded by big gaping holes. The flashes he'd been getting lately were just jumbles of images and scenes that he couldn't place. He didn't recognize anything or anyone. It was like having pieces to a puzzle and no idea what it was supposed to look like all together.

    As soon as the door closed, Kira threw her arms around his neck and kissed him hard on the lips. Without a second thought, Zanto pulled her close and returned the kiss. Kira smiled at him when they pulled apart. It sparked something in his brain, but just for a millisecond.  He shook his head.

    "We should get going. We don't want to be late." Zanto reached for her jacket that was hanging up next to the door.

    "I can't believe that you agreed to sit through this with me." Kira thanked him as she took her jacket from him and got her purse. "I've heard people say that Relena Darlian's speeches can put anyone to sleep, but Professor Jewel swears that there's always something to learn from her."

    "I'm going to be with you. Not to see or listen to Relena Darlian."

    "Oh is that so? Then why are we sitting with Matt and Kino? All they've been talking about all week is wanting to see if she's as pretty in person as she is on TV."

    Zanto shrugged his shoulders. "There's no need for that; she's pretty." Another image flashed through his mind, superimposed on her face.  Dark blond hair, blue eyes…

    Kira smacked him with her satchel. "And how would you know that? Have you ever met her? I don't think so."

    Zanto grabbed her purse and pulled her closer. "Is your roommate coming back?"

    Kira grinned up at him.  "No,.I think she's already at the auditorium."

    "Good." Zanto kissed his girlfriend as he pulled her purse and jacket out of her hands and dropped them to the floor. He didn't mind if they were a little late. He nipped and sucked at her neck with just the right amount of pressure to make her moan all the while leading them toward her bed. He could feel Kira tugging at his shirt before her cool fingers came into contact with his skin. He quickly took his jacket off before they sank to her bed wrapping themselves in each other arms as they kissed.

    Kira pulled his shirt up, and traced her fingers over his abs and chest. Willingly, Zanto helped her slip it off over his head, breaking the kiss they had been sharing before turning his attention to removing hers as well. He couldn't believe this was happening, or what was going on.  He'd never felt like this, exactly. Up to now they had been taking things slow and steady - never going beyond kissing. She gasped when his hand slid across her stomach and came to rest just under her bra.

    "Zan… Zan, I want you…" Her voice half whispered, half moaned next to his ear. 

    Zanto kissed his way up her neck, wanting to look into her eyes to make sure that she was sincere. He froze as he stared at the woman who laid underneath him. Her blond hair fanned out, her eyes clamped shut. Her breathing was heavy with desire for him. She opened her eyes slowly and smiled. But it wasn't the eyes and face of his girlfriend, but that of another woman. A blond with stunning blue-green eyes and a smile that made his stomach feel as though it were twisting into knots. Her lips moved, speaking a word softly.

    'Hero...........'

    Zanto sprang off of the bed. He ran his hands though his short hair, pacing back and forth and trying to calm his breathing. He had seen that face somewhere before, but just couldn't quite place it. Who was she?

    "Zan?" Kira slid off of her bed and approached her boyfriend. "What is it? What's wrong?" She grabbed his arms from behind and rested her head on the back of his shoulder. "W-what did you see?"

    "I..." Zanto pulled out of her loose embrace and turned to look at Kira. How could he tell her that he had a flash of another woman while they were…? What would she think?

    "It's nothing." He shook his head and searched the room with his eyes for his shirt. He moved to retrieve it. "I just don't want to push things too far and regret it later." He pulled his shirt on over his head, then picked hers up as well. "Besides, you have a report to do on that speech, and I don't want you to fail because of me. We'll have plenty of other chances to be alone together." He closed the distance between them and gave her the blouse. Once she was dressed, he pulled her into a hug before kissing her lightly on the lips. "We better get going."

    "Okay." Kira turned away from him and reclaimed her jacket and purse from the floor near the door.

    Zanto moved quietly to exit the room. He could tell she was hurt, and the last thing that he wanted to do was hurt her. But he knew that for some reason, he couldn't tell her about the woman in his memory. It was different than the others. Just the vision of her had stirred some sort of emotion deep within and he was afraid of what it meant. Was she important to him? Did he know her before the accident?

    In all this time, no particular image or scene had been as defined, nor coupled with any particular feeling. They were all pictures from a movie reel he couldn't recognize - actors on a screen whose story didn't involve him. This one… this woman, whoever she was, was so clear! And she was calling…reaching out to him. Why did she call him a hero? What did it all mean?

    "Zan?"

He blinked and with great effort, pushed all these thoughts aside to be with Kira. When she moved over to her mirror to fix her hair he took her coat from her and waited patiently by the door.

    "I'm ready." Kira grabbed her jacket and moved out the door. Zanto followed then stepped aside to allow Kira to lock it. She turned the key in the door without a sound, then whirled around and stomped off down the hall. He had to move quickly to catch up to her. He had heard people say that it's easy to pick up the body language of woman just by the way she walked. If he didn't know any better he would have guessed she had had a bad day, but he did know better, so he knew she was pissed at him.

    They made their way to her car in a strained silence. Kira unlocked the door and slid into the driver seat, then slammed it shut and waited for him to get it. Zanto sighed and got into the car. There were times that he had regretted getting involved with her. They had been good friends, but now he was worried that something would happen to strain their relationship and then nothing would be able to fix it.      

    "Kira, I'm sorry I upset you."

    "You hurt me back there." She started the car and began to drive. "But not because we didn't... you know. It's because you've never kept anything from me before. You had a flash back there and I don't understand why you won't tell me about it."

    "Kira, right now, can we just go to this thing and talk about this later?"

    "Do you promise?" She drew her eyes away from the road long enough to glance over at him and placed one hand on his arm.  He had to grit his teeth not to pull away. 

    "Do you promise to tell me about it when we get back?  I don't like you keeping things from me, Zan.  I…I lo—"

    "I can't promise. This one's different. It's hard to explain."

    "I see." She withdrew her hand and placed it back on the wheel.

    'What's wrong with me? Why can't I remember…?' He glanced at Kira out of the side of his eye. 'She's not her…Whoever this woman is.'

    'This woman that I....' He pushed the thought away and stared out the window at the road.  He didn't know how he felt.  And couldn't possibly until he figured out who this mystery woman was.

************************

    Zanto's focused on something in the distance, and she felt like he wasn't even in the car anymore. Kira said nothing further on the subject of Zan's memory flashes as the Benson Auditorium came into view. The Vice Foreign Minister would be giving her speech in the college lecture hall.

    After finding a parking spot, they both walked to the building hand in hand, though neither spoke a word to the other. Kira gripped his palm like he might, at any moment, slip away. He squeezed her hand in what she thought was reassurance, and she turned to him with a small smile. But he didn't return it. She felt her heart sink in her chest, but refused to give up hope that he would find confidence in her like he had done in the past. She wanted to be there for him no matter what because she loved him.

    They spotted Matt and Kino, Zanto's roommates, with little problem and took the seats that the two boys had saved for them.

    "What took you so long?" Matt asked as he sat back down after letting the couple slip by to get to their seats. "We had to fend your seats off from those crazy Darlian fan club people. Bunch of nuts."

    "Sorry, we got held up." Zanto looked over at his girlfriend as they took their seats; their hands were still clasped tightly.             

    "Held up?" Kino rubbed his hands together. And if she wasn't mistaken, there was a bit of mischief glinting in his eye.

    "Mind your own business, Kino." Kira snapped.

    "Lets see, Kira's in a bad mood. She's either mad at Zan, or it's that time of the month."

    "She said mind your own damn business." Zanto glared at his friend that sat to his left.

    "Geez, no humor in this crowd today. Ouch!" Kino rubbed his arm where Matt had slugged him.

    "Can you be any more of an ass?" Matt apologized to Kira before giving his friend another punch to the arm.

    "Will you two knock it off? The Dean is on stage," Kira said then looked back toward the stage to watch Dean Baker give a short speech. Normally, she would have been paying closer attention to what the man was saying, but she could feel Zanto tense beside her. She looked over to see if he was all right only to find his eyes glued to the left side of the stage. She followed his line of vision to see the Vice Foreign Minister standing next to a Preventer about their age. Zanto was watching her every move as she crossed the stage in a graceful manner, ignoring the few catcalls and whistles from members of the audience.

    There was something about the way his eyes took her in that made Kira's heart cry out. Zanto's hand jerked from hers like he'd been burned, and he abruptly rose from his seat.

    "I have to go." His voice trembled, but his eyes never strayed from the stage. From her.

    "Zan?" She reached out and grabbed hold of his arm only to have him forcefully yank it away.

    "Don't worry about me." Zanto nearly snarled; his eyes narrowed slightly at her.

    Kira gasped, her eyes began to water as she let go of him, allowing Zanto to move quickly out of the aisle and toward the exit. She glanced back toward the stage where Relena Darlian stood, still delivering her speech with a clear voice and elegant style. It was obvious she was the reason Zan acted the way he did.

    'But why? Does he know her? How could he? What's wrong, Zan? Why are you shutting me out?'

    She glanced over her shoulder towards the balcony door, hoping, praying that maybe he had turned around, changed his mind and came back. But the doorway was empty.

    Zan was already gone