Chapter 2
 

    Relena Darlian sat on her couch, her legs tucked underneath her. A cup of tea Pegan had insisted would soothe her rested in the same place he served it hours before. A large box of Kleenex sat beside her. A blanket lay to the side, half of it lying on the floor, the other half draped loosely over one cushion. Her eyes were red and swollen, her throat burned, and she was unbelievably tired.

    But she wouldn't sleep. If she slept, too many painful memories would overtake her mind. The nightmares would become real.

    Her right hand rested against her chest, in it she gripped a small pendent tightly as if she were afraid it would vanish -  like the person who had it in his possession just two weeks ago.

    The pendant was a gift from the children of an orphanage Relena had visited shortly after Christmas of AC 196. During her stay, she had grown to love the children living there, and had promised that one day she would find a way to help all those who were orphaned during the war. As a going away gift, the children had given her a small token of their thanks: a pendant of a dove in flight. She had given it later to Heero as a sign of her thanks, her love, and her continuing trust in him.

    She sniffled as she opened her hand to look at it again. She had been holding it so tightly that the scratched and jagged ornament had cut into her hand. A small drop of blood seeped from her skin. She had felt no pain, and the realization triggered a thought as she stared at her hand: had he felt any pain when his life had been taken? From her? From the world?

    'Heero.'  Relena closed her eyes and took a deep, shaky breath. Even with the knowledge that he had put his life on the line while trying to save the lives of his fellow Preventers hadn't lessened the blow. Why did it always have to be him? Why did Heero always have to be the one to endanger his life for the sake of others? Why?

    There were a few that were calling Heero, a hero. He had entered the crippled Preventer building without hesitation and managed to help a few injured colleagues out of the building before he entered the last time… The rest of the building collapsed from the stress; he was still inside.

    'He's gone...'

    Heero wasn't the only important person in her life that had died that day. Lady Une as well as Sally Po had died instantly from the blast that felled the once proud building to the ground. Too many Preventers and civilians lost their lives that day all because of a radical group that wanted to strike out at ESUN.

    Relena grabbed a Kleenex to dab at her eyes. She knew in the long run that true peace would be unattainable, but mankind could strive to make a better life. And for a while, the direction that they were heading, together, was towards a bright future for everyone.

    "Miss Relena?"

    Relena wiped her eyes and turned to her trusted friend and butler. She could tell that the kind old man was beyond concerned for her.

    "Is there anything that I can get for you?" Pegan's brow furrowed. "You haven't touched your tea."

    She offered him a weak smile. "I wasn't thirsty. You may take it, Pegan. Thank you."

    He stood for another second, his eyes filled with concern.

    "I'm fine."

    Pegan remained in the doorway. "Do you mind if I join you?"

    Relena shook her head; he crossed the room and took a seat in an arm chair to her right. She turned her attention to the cup of tea. The diplomat quickly picked it up and stared into it, but still didn't take a sip. When she finally spoke, her voice trembled so much she was afraid it would break.

    "I had a date set up with him that night. I prayed all day that he would show up.... That by some miracle, he would be all right. I so badly wanted to tell him everything: how I felt, how I had always wanted…. I'll never get that chance, now."

    Pegan reached out and patted her arm, trying to comfort the girl. "I'm sure he already knew. I could see in that young man's eyes every time he looked at you, he felt the same."

    Relena choked back a sob as Pegan moved to her side and took the tea cup from her and placed it down on the table. He allowed the girl to collapse into his arms and cry freely. 

    The sound of the doorbell quieted Relena's sobs. She apologized to Pegan; the old man just patted her on the back to let her know that it was ok. Relena pulled herself up to a sitting position as her butler rose to his feet. The doorbell chimed again, Pegan cleared his voice and smiled at Relena as she wiped her eyes dry.

    "If it's alright with you, Miss Relena, I'll get the door and send whoever it is away."

    Relena nodded and slowly stood up from her seat. She busied herself with cleaning up her tissue mess as Pegan left the room. She folded the blanket and placed it on the back of the couch and was about to reach for her cold mug of tea to return it to the kitchen when she heard her name being called by a familiar voice. She turned toward the entryway of the house and gasped at the two sorely missed faces of the people that approached.

    "Millardo, Miss Noin." She didn't know what force overcame her, but she threw herself into her brother's awaiting arms. It was the first time she could remember feeling comfortable allowing him to console her. After she broke her brother's embrace, she hugged the woman standing beside him. "What are you both doing here?"

    "Considering the circumstances, we felt we should be here. The Preventers took a huge blow; they're a good organization and they need someone to hold them together now more than ever."

    "Zechs was asked by the President of ESUN to run things for the Preventers until someone can be appointed for the job." Noin added.

    Relena motioned for them to take a seat on the couch. "So then you accepted the job, brother?"

    "I think it's best for now," Zechs replied as he made himself comfortable in his sister's home. Noin sat beside him, in-between the two siblings.

    "What of the Mars project?"

    "Mars can wait; there are more important matters to be taken care of."

    Relena lowered her gaze from her brother's, noting the concerned tone of his voice. He obviously knew of her feelings for Heero and was worried about how she was handling things. "Does this mean that the both of you will be staying in town?"

    "It's going to take awhile to get the Preventers running again here in Brussels. We were going to set up a temporary base in Milan in a couple of days; it's the most suitable location. But for now, we're here to see you." Noin smiled at Relena, but the expression didn't quite make it to her eyes. They were both worried about her.

    "By all means, the two of you should stay here. I have more than enough room. And now that Pegan and I are the only...." Relena bit her lip as fresh tears threatened to form. Even though Heero hadn't officially resided in her home, he had spent most of his time there, even when he wasn't on duty.

    "We'd be more than happy to." Noin reached over and gave Relena's hand a squeeze.    

    Relena flinched slightly and opened her hand. The contact had caused the pendant to jar her already open wound; fresh blood appeared on the palm of her hand.

    "Oh my, Relena are you alright?" Noin took hold of her arm and reached for a tissue. She quickly removed the metal and firmly pushed the tissue into the young woman's hand to stop the bleeding. Noin held the bloodied pendant pinched between two fingers and at arm's length. Her nose wrinkled

    "What are you doing with this anyway? It's all beat up."  Zechs shifted in the seat next to her; Relena didn't answer. She just stared at the ornament in Noin's hand….

    Relena closed her eyes, unable to forget….
 

*Red rimmed brown eyes gazed down at her for a moment before looking away. Wufei's hand came up and he withdrew something from his chest pocket. His uniform was ragged, dirty;  the cuffs of his jacket were stained with blood. Relena swallowed back a sob. If the news was good, he wouldn't… 'Oh, Heero, no!'

The Preventer's hand emerged, a gold, misshapen medallion on a charred chain dangled from his grasp.  He handed her back the pendant she had given to the man she loved.*

    Heero's blood was still on it; that was how they were able to confirm he had been killed even though his body hadn't been found. There were many bodies that hadn't been recovered as of yet; many of them, they knew, would never be found. But a few material possessions had turned up - giving grieving families the answers they needed.

*"He wouldn't listen.  He kept going back in, trying to save more… Damned idiot.  He just wouldn't listen!"

"D-did…. D-did any-anyone f-find him?" Relena couldn't get her voice to stop trembling.  Her hands were trembling; her legs no longer felt like they could support her.  He was gone… 

"No.  But they pulled Sally's body from the wreckage an hour ago." Wufei bowed his head; his fists shook at his sides.  "COWARDS!  The people who did this were nothing but cowards! And I will make them pay for their crimes."*
 

    "I'll get rid of it," Zechs said.

    Relena's eyes snapped open. "No!" She quickly snatched the pendant from the older woman's hands. "This.... this was Heero's. It's all I have left."

    "Oh." Noin glanced at her lover.

    "I'm sorry, I didn't know." Zechs said quietly as he watched his sister. She appreciated his anxiety, but couldn't stand the pity in his eyes. She glanced away, once again studying the pendant.

    'Heero would be strong.  He'd want me to hang on…'

    "It's getting late. If it's ok with you, Relena, Noin and I will head off to find our room and get some rest."

    Relena nodded. "That sounds like a good idea. It's late and I have a full schedule tomorrow." Relena rose to her feet with the others. She quickly made her way to her room, barely muttering 'goodnight' to her guests before she closed the door. She carefully put the pendant away in her jewelry box then got ready for bed.

    Relena slipped under the covers after turning off the lights and reached for the soft brown bear that was a fixture on her bed. She snuggled it closely to her chest and took a deep breath. She knew the nights to come would be filled with thoughts of what her future could have been like. Would things have ever of worked out between her and Heero? She had been prepared to give him her heart and soul, as well as her virginity. But now, or someday, those precious gifts would be given to another man.

    And that thought is what hurt the most.