Disclaimer:
Yadda yadda I don’t own Gundam Wing and so on.
Everyone Relena
called that day asked what had brought on the sudden engagement. She said that
it was not sudden. He wondered at that.
Not sudden.
What could she mean? Did she, perhaps, want to marry him before that night?
No. It couldn’t
be.
Could it?
He stared at
her, trying to figure it all out. His feelings. Her feelings. Alex.
Alex.
He shook his
head, not wanting to go down that road again. Thinking about Alex only made him
mad, and Relena was not happy when he was mad.
Relena must be
happy.
It was with
that thought in mind that Heero now stood in front of her brother, their eyes
locked on to each other like birds of prey. He wanted permission to marry
Zechs’s sister. He had no doubt that Zechs must have some questions.
Which was why
his silence was unnerving.
Relena stood
still beside him, eyeing her brother in a much less hostile way. She was
wearing a baby-blue skirt and matching cashmere sweater. Her hands were behind
her back, her hair done up in a French Twist. She looked elegant.
Heero fought
the urge to look over at her.
“Why do you
want to get married?” Zechs’s voice boomed into his mind. He only had one
answer.
“I love her.”
“Do you think
that is enough?”
Relena opened
her mouth as if to say something but Zechs raised his hand to prevent her.
“I’m not
telling you that you can’t,” he said quietly, “I just want you to think it
through a little more first.”
“The way you
and Noin thought it through?” Relena asked, her voice a melody to him. It all
still seamed unreal.
They were going
to be married in three months.
Zechs slid his
eyelids closed, and Heero wondered what was going on behind them. What emotion
the thought of his wife and daughter brought forth in him.
“That was
different,” he said at last, opening his eyes. “We weren’t being hunted.”
Relena’s head
dropped, and his chest tightened. He continued to fight the urge to look at
her, keeping his eyes focused solely on Zechs. If he looked away Zechs might
see it as a weakness and change his mind. He couldn’t allow that.
“Heero,” Zechs
said, moving his gaze over to his sister, “You will take care of her?”
It didn’t even
need to be asked. “Yes.”
Zechs’s eyes
closed again. “Then I have no objection.”
Relena’s head
came up and she smiled at brother, her eyes a bit watery. Heero wondered why
she would cry at a moment like this. There was nothing wrong.
He watched her
embrace her brother and felt that old pang in his chest again. He still had no
identification for it. He thought it might be longing, but that wasn’t
consistent enough. It happened at different times when he felt no longing. He
also thought it might be jealousy, but that, too, didn’t quite fit.
He guessed he
would just have to deal with it. For the rest of his life.
With her.
They often
walked hand-in-hand through the halls of the mansion, heading to a place he
suspected neither of them knew. There weren’t many places to go, anyway, but he
didn’t care where he ended up as long as he was with her. He was comfortable
around her now, but still on edge. Her touch was like electricity and he was
sure one day he’d die from it.
They’d returned
to the mansion the day after they agreed to get married. He wasn’t surprised to
find Zechs waiting for them, but Relena was. She didn’t understand the
protective nature of soldiers.
It had been
three days after they’d returned when she finally brought up the fact that they
hadn’t made an announcement to anyone. He told her it would be improper without
a ring, especially since she was an important public figure. She told him her
public figure was not important. He kissed her then. He didn’t kiss her much.
Kissing, he’d
decided, was dangerous.
Kissing brought
forth thoughts and desires he’d forbidden himself from until they were married.
That’s why he kissed her only when he couldn’t stop himself from doing so. It
was taboo. He scolded himself for it.
She merely
laughed at him.
Laughter was
one of his favorite things now. Especially her laughter. Her face lit up and
she became surreal, physically there but somehow far away. He wished he could
go with her when she drifted off to sleep, to see her dreams and share in her
serenity. But he never could. He merely watched her sleep, basking in her
presence.
He thought a
lot about their upcoming marriage. From an outside view, he could see how it
was sudden. But people on the outside didn’t know. They had no idea. They
didn’t know what she meant to him, how she made him feel. How only she
made him feel. They couldn’t possibly know what kind of symbol she was to him.
To them, she
was the symbol of peace. To him, she was the symbol of life. Of all things good
in life.
Including
temptation.
Every time he
saw her he was tempted, but he stayed as far away from that temptation as
possible. Such a thing would be meaningless if it was done only out of lust. He
often looked in the mirror and was surprised by his own reflection, by the way
he’d changed. The way his thoughts had changed. To think that the love of one
woman could change a man so used to be foolish in his eyes. Now her love was
all he saw in himself.
And there was
only one thing left standing in the way.
As Relena
balanced her schedule between work and planning the wedding, Heero searched for
Alex. Alex. That name. The name that now haunted him the way hers did, the
reasons similar and yet totally opposite. He needed her to feel complete. He
also needed to find Alex to feel complete.
He didn’t know
for sure if this need was emotional or primal. In a way it was both. He wanted
retribution for what happened to Relena, but at the same time he simply felt
the need to have dominance over Alex. It was something he found himself unable
to explain, and he was tired of trying.
Two weeks after
their return he found himself in front of a large window, staring out at the
gardens where Noin and Laura were picking flowers together. Heero suspected
that Zechs would join them soon. He understood the man’s need to be with them.
Relena was
standing next to him. He felt her squeeze his hand, a sign that she wanted him
to look at her. He turned his head and braced himself for the rush of feeling
that always accompanied the sight of her. When it hit him, he noticed a lock of
hair had come loose and fallen down around her face, making her look somewhat
delicate. He brought up his hand and brushed the lock behind her ear. He wanted
her to look as strong and as powerful as he knew she could be. He’d seen it.
He’d tried to kill her for it.
“Do you really
think Alex will be there?” she asked. Something in her voice unsettled him.
“Yes,” was his
only answer, and he couldn’t help asking, “Why are you so worried?”
Her eyes
flashed briefly with fear and uncertainty before she looked away, gazing out
the window as he had been.
“I
am…frightened,” she said softly, as though she had to force the words. “I don’t
want him there.”
“There’s
nothing he can do to hurt you,” he assured her. She glanced back up at him.
“It’s not me
that I’m worried about,” she squeezed his hands tightly between hers.
“Huh?” He
looked down at their joined hands. “You’re worried about me?”
She nodded.
“Why?”
Her watery eyes
locked on to his, catching him by surprise with their sudden intensity.
“Because,” she
shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut. “He could get to you so easily-”
“Me?”
She stared at
him like he’d just turned green.
“Yes, you!” she
said in disbelief, “Do you honestly think he’d try to kill me without ‘making
me pay’ first?” He watched the fury he’d become so fond of set in her face.
“That’s all he wants to do. Cause me pain. He doesn’t care who else he hurts or
what he has to do. He knows that if I marry you I’ll be happy. Who wouldn’t be
happy to get married to someone they love? Not only will he be jealous, he’ll
feel like he has some right to ‘punish me’ for not being ‘faithful.’ He’s so
rich and so influential and he said that if I ever ‘betrayed’ him he would make
sure that-”
“Stop it!”
She looked at
him like his new green skin had just caught on fire. He took a breath to calm
himself.
Alex’s warped
perception of his ‘relationship’ with Relena was a subject he was overly touchy
about.
“I don’t want
you to think that way anymore. I can take care of myself. If I don’t, I won’t
be able to take care of you, and then I have nothing.”
He closed his
eyes to help him resist the urge to kiss her. It always happened at moments
like this.
And, as always,
she kissed him before he could get away.
*
* *
He walked
quickly back to his room, scolding himself for his actions. If things kept on
like this, three months (now only nine weeks) were just going to get longer and
longer. But at least now he knew he wasn’t the only one who was tempted.
He’d have to
remember to get a chocolate pie for their honeymoon after that.
When he opened
his bedroom door the first thing he saw was the note. Or rather, the envelope
that contained the note. He didn’t bother to pick it up by the corners to
preserve any possible fingerprints. He knew the author wasn’t that stupid. When
he read the note his blood boiled.
She may take
your name, but she won’t marry you.
The note itself
didn’t get him concerned. He wasn’t even concerned with how he’d gotten into
the mansion. What he was concerned about was how he knew which room was which,
and which room he was heading to next.
As if on cue,
all the blood drained from his face as Relena screamed.