Nope… don’t own it… What? You’re surprised?
The steady hum of the janitor’s vacuum cleaner echoed through the
semi-deserted boarding lounge, drowning out the steady babble of voices coming
from the video screens. Shuttle port
staff came and went as some began shifts and others finished them. A large display board flicked periodically
through arrival and departure times.
And in the middle of it all, oblivious to all that was happening around
them, two people sat side by side, poised as if in standoff.
“What are you doing here Heero?”
He blinked at her, surprised by the hollow inflection of her
tone.
“I could ask the same of you.”
Hilde glared at him, before turning in her seat slightly in an
attempt to dismiss him. Retrieving the
magazine on her lap she began to flip through it, almost tearing the pages as
she tried to pretend Heero wasn’t there.
Heero sighed. Well, he hadn’t
exactly expected this to be easy.
Reaching across, he grabbed the crumpling magazine and yanked it from
her grasp.
“Hilde, I’m here to take you home.”
A lesser man would have yielded under the look of pure revulsion
that Hilde bestowed. Fortunately,
however, Heero was not a lesser man.
“Really,” Hilde spat, as she reached across to snatch back the
tattered tabloid “And how exactly do you plan on doing that?”
Heero merely raised an eyebrow at her, watching her silently. Duo’s cap was still pulled down firmly over
her brow and her complexion was pale and shadowed.
“You’re being a coward.”
He couldn’t possibly have chosen a better way to gain her
attention. She exhaled sharply, her
expression indignant and angry as she turned her flashing blue eyes on him.
“A coward! You, Heero Yuy, are hardly the one to talk. Or do I have to completely rehash your own
relationship screw ups?”
Her heated words all but died on her lips as Heero simply stared
back at her, his face impassive. She
swallowed back against the tears she could feel building, desperate not to cry
in front of him, anyone but him. She
brushed a trembling hand across her face, frantically trying to collect
herself.
“What are you doing here,” she croaked “He promised… he promised
he would let me go.”
“He said he’d let you go, and he did. You never said anything about the rest of us.” Heero sighed,
looking away from her. “He doesn’t know I’m here.”
Hilde blinked at him, confused by Heero’s admission.
“So Relena sent you?”
He shook his head slightly.
“I’m simply trying to return a favour.”
“A favour?” Hilde arched an eyebrow, her expression sceptical. “A
favour to who?”
Heero shrugged slightly.
“I’m still making my mind up about that.”
They settled back into an uneasy silence. Scanning the surrounding area, Heero noticed
a cafeteria, its’ garish menu boards boasting steaming coffee and home cooked
pie. He glanced at Hilde’s brooding
figure from the corner of his eye and weighed up his options. He wasn’t going to get anywhere just sitting
like this. He needed to get her to less
hostile grounds if these peace talks were going to succeed.
“Coffee.”
She looked at him as if he had grown another head. He coughed slightly, clearing his throat a
little and indicating towards the coffee shop with a nod of his head. Hilde shrugged slightly, allowing herself to
follow him, as he strode across the square, quietly astounded by the apparent
surrealism of the encounter.
******
The young cashier’s eyelashes fluttered flirtatiously at Heero, as
he placed his order, though her connotation was lost on him as he barely
noticed her presence. He silently
handed her payment, before moving towards their table, leaving behind a
disappointed admirer. Hilde couldn’t
help but grin. He was completely
oblivious to his affect on the women around him, since in his mind none held a
candle to Relena.
He slid into the seat opposite her, resting his elbows on the tabletop
as he ran his hand through his tousled fringe.
Hilde’s eyes widened as she watched him. Oh My God, she thought, the Infamous Heero Yuy is
nervous. She gave her head a shake,
wondering if perhaps her lack of sleep was causing hallucinations. About to say something, she paused as the
aforementioned teenager delivered their coffee. A slice of apple pie was set before Hilde, and she shot Heero a
questioning look. He shrugged.
“I figured you hadn’t eaten for a while.”
His tone was even, matter of fact, and matched the tenor she had
come to expect from him. But there was
an underlying concern, a kindness that she had heard Duo and Relena speak of
often, but had yet to experience herself.
She returned the gesture with a small smile, at a loss for words.
The air became thick with their silence, each seeming lost in
their own thoughts. Hilde began to add
milk and sugar to her drink with sharp, uneasy gestures. She swirled her spoon around the mug,
mesmerised by the hollow clink of the metal as it clipped the ceramic
edges. Once bored with this action,
she laid the spoon across her saucer, and gazed restlessly at her unforeseen
companion.
She noticed the way he now cradled his cup in his large hands, and
it made her think of Duo. Heero’s
fingers were longer, thinner, than Duo’s but they both had the same calloused
pads. To look at Duo’s hands, it would
be hard to imagine the tenderness they could bestow, to imagine that the same
hands that could grip a weapon could also impart the gentlest caress. The heaviness in her heart returned tenfold,
and she swallowed against the lump that was rising in her throat.
Struggling to contain herself, she glared at Heero, needing to
vent her grief on someone.
“God Dammit Heero!” she sobbed, “What the Hell are you doing
here?”
If she had expected any major response from him, she was to be
sadly disappointed. He didn’t even
blink, and simply took a long swallow of his black, unsweetened coffee. From the corner of her eye, she could see
the curious cashier glancing in their direction as she hovered nearby,
pretending to wipe down the already spotless bench tops.
“Running away isn’t going to help you, you know. The emptiness will just follow you,
wherever you go.” He paused slightly, setting the mug back down before
continuing softly, “I should know.”
Hilde blinked at him, stunned by his unexpected candour. She frowned, turning her gaze to the
tabletop, as she found herself unable to bear Heero’s scrutiny.
“I’m not running away,” she protested softly, “I’m just doing
what’s best for Duo.”
“That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”
She gasped slightly, and her mind raced to think of some form of
counter, despite the nagging realization that, deep down, she agreed with
him. She clenched her jaw and glared at
him, chastising her own weakness, determined not to back down. Her eyes narrowed, as she sought some
stinging barb, some inflection that would make him go away.
“As stupid as sleeping with someone, telling them you love them
and then leaving them for five years due to your own selfishness?”
He flinched slightly, and for a moment his even, controlled mask
slipped.
“Yeah,” he replied, “Not quite that stupid, but pretty damned
close.”
Hilde flushed, feeling foolish.
Timidly, she picked up her fork and began to cut at the cooling
pie. She wasn’t really hungry, but the
action allowed her to turn her attention away from the sombre features of the
man opposite her. Stabbing a square of
crust, she dipped it in the melting ice cream that had been placed decoratively
to the side of the dessert, before putting it into her mouth.
“Duo doesn’t deserve this, Hilde. You can’t just walk out of his life without giving him some form of explanation. He may come across as the loud mouthed, happy go lucky optimist but we both know he’s more complex than that. During and after the war, he could have very easily succumbed to his own darkness. But he met you, and you were his light. If you leave him, Hilde, it will destroy him.”
Hilde swallowed hard, the sweet tasting pastry leaving a sickly
taste in her mouth. She chewed her lip,
her expression sullen, as she processed Heero’s words.
“Duo’s strong, Heero.
Stronger than you think. And you
overestimate his feelings. He just needs
time to move on, that’s all. In time,
when he meets someone else and he has a family of his own, he’ll look back and
thank me. I can’t let him give up what
he truly wishes for in life for me. I
could never forgive myself.”
Heero’s cynical stare bored into her, apparently unimpressed with
her line of reasoning. She pursed her
lips, glaring at him.
“Okay then, Heero. Tell me
this. Why did you come back? You did a
damned good disappearing act for a while there, and you could have remained
that way… so why did you come back? If
Trowa hadn’t started to get just a little close for comfort to Relena, would
you have stayed away?”
Heero blinked at her, disconcerted as she turned the tables on
him. He was quick to recover himself,
however, and he gave her a level glare.
“Don’t try to change the subject, Hilde. What happened between Relena and myself has nothing to do with
this.”
She frowned at him.
“Yes. Yes, it does. It has everything to do with it.
Why should I listen to you, after what you did to her? How you hurt
her? You’re being a hypocrite.”
“You should listen to me BECAUSE of how I hurt her. You’ve seen for yourself what can happen
when you selfishly make choices for other people. I was lucky. I got to go
back, repair the damage I had done. You
need to do the same Hilde. While you
still can.”
She dropped her fork onto her plate with a clatter, before pushing
the food away with an expression of distaste.
Her stomach clenched painfully and she felt a dull ache in her chest. Her throat felt tight with the effort of
trying not to cry, and the next words to cross her lips came out in an almost
feeble squeak.
“How can I go back, Heero? He will never forgive me.”
“He’ll forgive you. He loves
you.” He gave an almost imperceptible grin, “Besides, if he doesn’t, I’ll just
have to kill him.”
Hilde gave a short, gasping laugh at the somewhat glib
remark. Her expression became serious
again, however, at Heero’s soft proclamation.
“He loves you Hilde.
Children, even marriage, are only one element of a relationship. And you’re both still young. You shouldn’t be so quick to give up hope.”
A refined voice resonated from the loud speakers, announcing that
shuttle number 257 would be departing from dock 7 in one hour and that all
passengers were advised to make their way through customs. Hilde froze, glanced nervously at Heero,
fingers clutching the edge of her bag.
He arched his eyebrow at her, his gaze questioning.
“Well?”
******
Quatre sighed slightly as he set another stack of paperwork
aside. The files were the bane of his
existence, but at least they were helping to pass the time. Looking across the room, he watched as Duo
muttered in his sleep, one arm flung across his face while the other hung
towards the floor. The couch did not
appear the most comfortable of beds, but at least he had finally fallen
asleep. Quatre frowned slightly
however, as he doubted his friends’ dreams were permitting a great deal of
rest.
A slight chiming from the ancient clock face indicated the turning
of the hour. Quatre’s heart sank. The shuttle was scheduled to depart well
over an hour ago, and there had still been no word from Heero. Sighing, he stood, stretching slightly as he
moved to the kitchen for more tea. It
was then that he heard the click of the front door, and a slight creak as it
swung open.
Heero appeared weary, shoulders slumped and his face, as always,
impassive. Quickly glancing to see that
Duo had not yet woken, Quatre’s inquiry was whisper soft.
“What happened? Where is she?”
******
The soft caress had no place in such a miserable and haunting
dream. It seemed to chase the darkness
away, so feather-light, so loving. It
drew him from his fitful slumber, and he teetered between sleep and wake,
unsure from which realm the touch resided.
His subconscious feared the loss of it.
It brushed against his forehead, smoothing his bangs, slow and
reverent. The shadows and mist shrank
back, vanished, and he allowed himself to be drawn to consciousness by an
embrace only one individual could bestow.
He blinked, his mind still hazy as he squinted against the
artificial light of the room. Her
expression was melancholy and apprehensive as she traced the lines of his face
with her fingertips. Still half asleep,
he wondered at what could have made the apparition so unhappy.
“Hey Hil,” he mumbled, his throat dry “I had the worst dream.”
She nodded; as her eyes glistened with unshed tears. His voice shook as he continued.
“I had a dream that you left me.”
******