Whatever Makes You Happy

Shock Horror! I don’t own Gundam Wing or any of the characters therein. I just like to torture them for my own amusement. No money being made here baby.

Chapter One

Duo crept silently through the front door. Glancing around, he saw that the flat was indeed in darkness, and not a sound could be heard. He stumbled a little, as his hip caught the edge of the dining room table and he cursed softly. He knew he shouldn’t have had that last beer.

Creeping into the bedroom, his sight now adjusted to the darkness, he could make out the form curled up on the right side of the bed. He grinned softly, stripping down to his boxer shorts, before sliding under the blankets to nestle against it. However, as he went to wrap a propriety arm around the other body, he felt it stiffen and twist away from him.

“Ah hell, babe, did I wake you?”

“Duo, baby elephants have been known to make less noise than you.” Hilde grumbled, shrugging his arm away. “Where have you been all night?”

Duo winced, as he contemplated the fine line he might have to tread, in order to prevent sleeping on the couch. He ran a conciliatory hand along Hilde’s arm, before placing a tentative kiss on her bare shoulder.

“Err, yeah, I was having a few drinks with Heero, and we got to talking, and I just lost track of time.” He started a little, as one of Hilde’s hands came up and flipped his hand away from her arm.

“You lost track of time TALKING with Heero?” Hilde gave a snort, and Duo could almost see her look of disbelief in the darkness.

“We’ll talk about it tomorrow Duo, it really doesn’t matter. Go to sleep.”

Feeling slightly bewildered, Duo laid back on his side, gazing at Hilde’s back. This wasn’t the first time he’d been late home, but he had never received this kind of reception before. She was used to his nocturnal wanderings, and would often joke about it, simply threatening to have him fitted with a tracking device.

Maybe she was just nervous. The wedding was only four days away, after all. God, he hoped it wasn’t that time of the month. That would add a real dampener to the wedding night. Suppressing the urge to reach across and touch the curl of hair at the nape of her neck, Duo let out a deep sigh and tried to get some sleep.

******

Hilde didn’t know how long she lay there, in the dark, listening to Duo’s breathing, waiting for him to fall asleep. She chastised herself, angry that she had been so unkind to him. She didn’t have to see his face; she could almost feel the hurt expression he had worn. She wished she could have acted even a little more composed.

Finally, confidant that he was sleeping soundly, Hilde slid out from under the covers and, pulling on a pair of tracksuit pants, padded barefoot out of the bedroom and towards the kitchen. Her mind was reeling. She needed to think. She NEEDED coffee.

Waiting impatiently, she stared down at the coffee cup she nursed in her hands. BEST ACTRESS IN AN ONGOING MELODRAMA was emblazoned across it, with a little trophy figure etched into the ceramic in gold. She grinned half-heartedly. She certainly felt like her life was becoming one big melodrama lately. She quickly switched off the kettle, before its’ whistle could wake her slumbering love.

Taking the now steaming cup, she sat down at the kitchen table and gazed vacantly into space. The pain she had felt earlier in the day had now been replaced by a dull ache, as the painkillers Sally had given her worked their wonders. She felt numb. Mentally and physically numb. What was she going to do? The question seemed to scream out over and over in her head. What was she going to do?

For the millionth time that day, her mind wandered back to her conversation with Sally that morning…

“I’m sorry Hilde. But considering the extensive injuries you suffered escaping from Libra, we have to be honest in saying that this isn’t completely unexpected.”

Hilde stared at her old friend in disbelief. This couldn’t be happening. When she had started bleeding a few days before, it was unexpected but…

“Are you sure it was a miscarriage, Sally? I mean, the stress of the wedding preparations, maybe I’m just a little out of synch.”

Sally shook her head sympathetically. Although she no longer practised medicine on a daily basis, she had agreed to see Hilde, due to her extensive involvement in her rehabilitation after the war. She was only glad that she was able to help her now, through what was obviously going to be a difficult time for both Hilde and Duo.

“Hilde, the pregnancy was certainly only in the very early stages, but it was definitely a pregnancy.” Sally’s heart ached, as she watched the younger woman gaze vacantly out the window, seeming absorbed by the movement of the clouds across the blue sky. She turned back to Sally suddenly, taking in the folder full of test results that were clutched in the doctors’ hands.

“Are you sure Sally? Are the results that definite? Are you sure I can’t…” she sobbed, stumbling over the words.

“Are you sure I can’t have children?”

Sally sighed, looking at the smoothly polished, sterilised tiles.

“Chances of conceiving are very slim, and even if you did get pregnant, like this time, the possibility of carrying full term is very unlikely.”

Hilde nodded slowly, chewing thoughtfully on her bottom lip. Sally shook her head, unsure if the petite brunette was reacting perhaps a little too calmly to the news. She was obviously shaken, but she had remained calm, composed, and tearless.

“Is Duo aware that there may be a problem?” Sally’s reply was a minute shake of the head.

“Do you want some help telling him? It might help to hear the more technical information from a doctor…” again, a slight shake. Sally sighed again.

“Well, I have some reading material here, and here,” she passed Hilde a prescription, “these will help with any persisting pain you may experience over the next couple of days. If it goes on any longer though, I want you to let me know straight away.”

Hilde nodded absently. Sally then handed her a card.

“My phone numbers. Call me for any reason, even if it’s just to talk. Please?”

Hilde glanced up at Sally, and for a moment the older woman could see the sheen of tears that threatened to betray the girls’ valiant attempts at stoicism, before they were rapidly blinked away. The doctor placed a consoling hand on her patients’ arm.

“Don’t forget, we’re your friends. We’ll always be here for you.”

There was a hollow plink, as a drop of water fell into the cooling cup of coffee, followed rapidly by another. Brushing the back of her hand across her face, Hilde was almost surprised to feel the wet trail of tears that had tracked down her cheeks.

Taking a shuddering breath, she reached across and removed an orange from the overflowing fruit bowl. She turned the citrus in her hands, smoothing her fingers over the rough textured skin. When she had first moved to Earth with Duo, she had revelled in the enormous selection of fresh produce. While the colonies produced their own crops, she had never tasted anything as divine as the food she found on Earth. The planet was so fertile… she grimaced at the word. Fertile. And she wasn’t.

Sniffling, Hilde rubbed the heels of her palms against her cheeks, smearing away the already drying tears. She was resolute. Her decision had been made. Tomorrow would be a new beginning. Straightening up, she softly made her way back into the bedroom. Standing at the edge of the bed, she listened to Duo’s deep and even breathing. He shifted slightly, as if to move towards her side of the bed. She heard him mumble something indecipherable, although she thought she could make out her name. But maybe that was just fanciful thinking.

Creeping back under the covers, Hilde tried to wriggle into a comfortable spot. This time, when a sleeping Duo tried to draw her up against him, she allowed herself to relax into his embrace. As his body heat began to lull her to sleep, Hilde tried desperately to imprint as much of the sensation as she could, into her memory.

******