If I Were You

 

I do not own Gundam Wing.  I am not receiving any financial gain from this fiction.  I mean, come on, do you really think someone would pay to read this!

 

Chapter Six

 

Walking back into my “dressing room”, I collapsed onto a stool and heaved a loud sigh.  Another day, another performance.  Ah, who was I kidding, I loved it. There was nothing like an appreciative crowd to lift your spirits and clear your head.  Unfortunately, this time it did little to clear the current subject of my deliberation.  In the last few days, I had spent a great deal of time thinking of the current situation with Relena…and Heero.

 

I was torn.  There was no denying that I could understand Heero’s uncertainty.  I had seen repeated examples of his low opinion of his own worth.  He had repetitively fought each battle in the wars with no regard for survival.  He placed little value on himself as anything other than a tool of conflict. 

 

He felt he had no need for friends, nor allies and he did everything he could throughout not to need any of us.  I doubt it occurred to him at any stage that perhaps it was us that needed him.  There was not one of us who did not profit from his influence at some stage.  We would each have given anything to repay him in kind, if he had only allowed us.  We were his friends though, whether he liked it or not, and a true motley crew we were at that.

 

She influenced him though.  I don’t think it was love for either of them.  Not at first anyway.  But he was in awe of her, we all were.  Sure, we all had our motivation in support of fighting, some more clear-cut than others.  But when Relena stepped forward with her claims on pacifism, it was with a way of thinking that was so unyielding that there was no denying her resolve.  I didn’t realise how short term my reasons for fighting were.  I fought for peace of the colonies, and she struggled for peace for everyone.  She was truly compassionate.   

 

And she was beautiful.  And smart.  And ecstasy to be around.  She could make even the heartless love her.  Hell, she did make the heartless love her.  Heero and me both.  I groaned and dropped my head into my hands.  I had to stop thinking like this.  She wasn’t mine to have.  And the only one who could lay claim to her lacked the nerve to do it. 

 

One thing was certain though, if he didn’t do something soon, I was going to lay my cards on the table.  To hell with it, and to hell with Duo too.  No way was I going to stand by and let her throw everything away on a schmuck like Justin.

 

There was a rustling of the curtain, and as if on cue, Duo stepped in.

 

“Tro man! How’s things? Another great show, I gotta say.”

 

I glanced up in surprise.  What was it with this guy and his ability to pop out of nowhere?  Maybe he really was the god of death!

“Duo! What brings you here? Nothing wrong I hope?”

 

“Nah,” he replied, leaning against a tent post.  “We were bored, had some time on our hands, so we thought we’d drop by and catch your act. You just about done here? Hilde’s dying to say hi.”

 

I looked down at my attire, I was still dressed in costume, but I had to feed the lions, so I figured changing could wait a little longer.  Standing up, I indicated for Duo to lead the way.

 

Walking outside, we found Hilde standing with an attractive girl with long black hair.  The girl was wearing denim jeans and a dark leather jacket.  A baseball cap was pulled down low over her brow, and dark glasses veiled her eyes.  I did a double take.

 

“Relena?”

 

There was a flash of dazzling white teeth, before she pressed a finger to her lips.

 

“Shhh..” she grinned, pulling down her glasses “You’ll blow my cover.”

 

I glanced around, looking for the prerequisite body guards, and was surprised to see none.  Relena watched me with an amused glint in her eye.  Giggling she offered me her hand.

 

“Why hello, I don’t believe we’ve been introduced.  My names Anna, Anna.. er.. Scott.”

 

Hilde suddenly burst into peals of laughter, while Duo just grinned like a maniac. 

 

“Lena, babe, you really have watched that movie too many times.”

 

Relena pouted, crossing her arms and pointing that cute turned up nose of hers in the air.

 

“I can’t help it, it’s a great film…besides, it’s a classic.”  She shot me an almost wounded look, after spying my somewhat incredulous look. 

 

“Don’t tell me you’ve never seen Notting Hill?” Her face suddenly lit up, and I almost expected to see one of those light bulbs appear above her head, like you see in the comics.

 

“You must come around tonight, we can watch it in the home theatre! Hilde, don’t you think that would be the most wonderful way to spend the evening? Popcorn, ice cream, romantic film?”

 

Hilde nodded with enthusiasm, before turning to look expectantly at Duo, who rolled his eyes at me.

 

“Well, Tro, what do you think? Want to join me in sap hell? That’s about as formal an invitation as you’re gonna get.”

 

I deliberated quickly.  Okay, so I didn’t have the most jam packed social calendar, so availability was hardly a problem.  And, what the hell, I figured I could tolerate two hours of some schmaltzy pre-colony film, in exchange for popcorn.  Hey maybe I could even negotiate for pizza. Plus the look Duo was giving me looked just borderline of begging.  What can I say; I’m a merciful kind of guy.

 

“Sure,” I shrugged, “Sounds like fun.  I’ve got a couple of jobs to finish first, though, and I guess I should change.”  Hilde nudged Relena, before replying with a smirk,

 

“Oh I don’t know, I think you look fine.  I’m all for you coming dressed just as you are.”

 

Relena giggled again, while Duo shot Hilde a filthy look.

 

“Um yeah, Trowa, maybe you should think about putting a shirt on.”

 

I looked on in amusement as the girls fell about themselves and Duo watched his girlfriend with an expression mixed between sulkiness and laughter.  I turned back towards the tent, intending to leave my companions to wait for me.  Duo, however, was quick to follow, and it became evident he had something on his mind.

 

He managed to remain silent until we reached the lion pens, however, a feat which in itself amazed me.  He leaned against the cage, watching me as I proceeded through my familiar routine.  Finally I turned to face him,

 

“What’s on your mind Duo?”

 

A brief flash of relief crossed his face, obviously glad that I had sought to begin the conversation.  He folded his arms across his chest, and began his narrative by addressing his torso.

 

“I’m a bit…I don’t know what…” he frowned, seeming to gather his thoughts before finally looking at me.  I took a wild guess.

 

“Did Heero come back?” Duo looked at me with surprise, his expression already answering my question.  He nodded slowly.

 

“Uh, yeah.  He was waiting at my flat when I got home yesterday.  Sober too, thank god.  Still a mess though.  I know I said it the other day, but I’ve never seen him like this.  Shit it was good to see him again, but Trowa, he’s not happy.  Still not very talkative, but it was pretty clear that this whole Relena and Justin thing is getting to him big time.  He didn’t stay for very long, he kept pacing the room like he was one of these guys,” Duo said, indicating his head towards the big cats.

 

“He asked me what I thought about the new couple, whether it was serious.  I said I didn’t know, that it was too early to tell.  I swear to god, Trowa, the guys’ whole complexion was green.  Clashed really badly with his hair.  I told him he had no one to blame but himself.  That if he hadn’t left Relena waiting for so long, she would be with him and not some suit wearing, palm greasing dweeb.  I asked him if he loved her.”

“And?” I demanded, “What did he say?”

 

“Nothing, although he looked a bit sheepish.  Well, sheepish for Heero anyway.  We both know that’s as good as a yes.”

 

“So what the hell’s stopping him then?”

 

Duo shook his head in frustration and began kneading his hands together in agitation. 

 

“Well, that was what completely astounded me, man.  He doesn’t think SHE loves HIM.  The guy’s got the worst inferiority complex I’ve seen in my life.  I even told him, straight to his face, that she loves him, that she’s waited all this time for him.  He wouldn’t have a bar of it.  He reckons I’m just saying it to piss him off.  Make up for all the times he threatened to kill me.  He got really crazy then, stormed out and slammed the door so hard I thought it was going to come of the hinges.  Damned if I know what he’s going to do now.”

 

Duo let out a loud sigh, and scratched at the back his head.

 

“I haven’t said anything to Relena, don’t know if I should.  But should we be worried?”

 

I shook my head.

 

“I can’t see any reason to warn her.  Heero would never hurt her.  As for telling her how he appears to feel, that’s not up to us.  We can’t go getting her hopes up, just when she’s made the choice to move on.”

 

“But..” Duo interrupted.  Giving him a level stare, I continued,

 

“He has to do this himself.  If he wants our help, he’ll have to ask for it.  If we get wrapped up trying to force them together, someone’s heart is going to get broken.  Again.  If the fates decide that this match is meant to be, then it will be, whether or not we stick our noses into it.”

 

The American stood silently, watching me meditatively.

 

“And do you actually believe in fate Trowa?”

 

Turning away from the cages, and moving back towards my trailer, I replied softly,

 

“Yes…I do.”

 

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