If I were you
Newsflash – I don’t own Gundam
Wing. Well Duh. I also don’t own Wrangler jeans…although I’d
love to own a guy that looks good in them.
Oh sorry…I digress. *cough* Hopefully those kind and loveable people who
do own Gundam Wing won’t sue me. I’m
sure they have much better things to do…like maybe animating Blind Target *hint
hint*. I am but a poor defenceless
little fan girl. Really. Truly.
Now on with the sad attempt at
fan fiction. C+C welcome at melodrama1@bigpond.com. Flamers –yeah righto, whatever, I could do
with the laugh.
Prologue
I couldn’t honestly tell you the first time I saw her. I mean really saw her. She’s hardly the most low profile
personality on the planet, being the Vice Foreign Minister and all, but who
could truly say they knew who she was?
I guess I had fared a little better in the notoriety department – being
an ex-Gundam pilot who had never really been “exposed” to the public. I had simply blended back into the
background when the Gundams had outlived their purpose.
Not her though. Not
Relena Peacecraft. Or is it Relena
Dorlian? I’m not sure. Does she even
know? No, the fates seemed to have other plans for our former Queen of the
World, a higher calling perhaps.
Providence chose not to cross our paths during the Eve
wars. A brief glimpse of her in
Siberia, but no more. I observed her
from a distance, and learned a little of her from my fellow pilots and
Noin. But I was not to be touched by
her grace until times of peace, and for that I am almost grateful. I merely had to observe the way she touched
those around her. The history books
will write her as a beacon of peace in troubled times, a fairly limited appraisal
by my reckoning. Who would have guessed
that such a small form, so fragile at first glimpse, could be the bearer of
such strength, kindness and will?
I remember Heero telling me how Trieze had once declared Relena
to be stronger than Heero. It was a statement
that obviously annoyed him. And amused
me. Probably because we both knew that
Trieze was right. If not for her, I
doubt Heero would have survived either wars.
I just wonder if he realises that too.
I’m pretty certain he’s not that obtuse. But then again.
He doesn’t
deserve her.
************
So we destroyed our Gundams.
And like the smoke that rose from the twisted remains, we scattered to
the four winds. After all, we all had
homes to return to.
Wufei was lured into the Preventers, not so surprising although
it took a very patient partner to deal with his on-going justice rants. Sally deals with it, although we still
marvel at her self-control.
Duo returned to L2 and Hilde.
His better half. Actually, make
that his MUCH better half. One thing we
all agreed on, was that Hilde was one hell of a girl. Looks, personality and style.
We just didn’t get her taste in men.
But in Duo’s case, we all hoped she wouldn’t get over that minor
flaw. The guy adores her and I don’t
think I’ve ever seen him so happy. She
brings him peace. None of us deserves
it more.
Quatre still makes full use of his gift for strategy, only now
he applies it to the cutthroat business world rather than the battlefield. Since taking the helm of Winner Enterprises
at Eighteen years of age, he has gained notoriety second only to the most
prolific rock star of the moment. I
think we’ve all become adjusted to seeing the boy wonder’s face splashed over
some media publication, although I much prefer seeing his face on the Business
Review Weekly than Women’s Scandal Mongering Weekly. The local tabloids seem more anxious to marry him off than his
own sisters.
Only a few weeks ago, Quatre was photographed with an “unknown
brunette”, who was proudly sporting a diamond engagement ring, resulting in
speculation of an impending elopement.
Quatre was bemused, Hilde in hysterics.
Duo was simply said to remark “Cat, man, if you really wanted to run off
with my fiancée, you could at least have bought your own ring.”
And Heero. Well, there’s
a mystery. No one seems to know where
he is. It’s been five years since the
mariemaia incident, and he seemed to vanish almost straight after. It doesn’t surprise me that much, but I do
wonder if he has any idea of how many people he has left behind. I saw him once; at least I think I did. I had just finished the lion act, and
spotted him amongst the crowd. He met
my gaze for a moment, raised his hand in a brief gesture and then seemed to disappear
again. That was about six months ago,
two weeks before I went from close acquaintance to close friend to Relena
Peacecraft.
*************
The annual Christmas Ball had
become somewhat of a tradition for us, one that I actually looked forward to
with some anticipation. For Relena and
Quatre it was, of course, somewhat high profile. But for the rest of us pilots
and our close circle of friends it allowed us to celebrate in style without any
question of who we were. We were simply
faces in a considerable crowd.
So it was five years after
the Mariemaia incident, at the afore mentioned ball, that found Duo, Wufei and
myself seeking relief from the loud music and crowded ballroom on one of the
expansive balconies outside. Leaning
back against the railing, I silently watched my former comrades in arms and
marvelled at how far we had come. Duo
sat hunched over on a nearby deck chair, elbows on his knees, watching as he
trickled champagne from his glass and onto the tiled floor. His gaze was intent, as though he were
hoping to find the answer to a question in the flow of the liquid.
“So I see you have filled your quota of business transactions
for the evening, my friend,” remarked Wufei, as Quatre slid softly out into our
little alcove.
“Not exactly,” replied Quatre, with a self-conscious smirk, “But
if you don’t give me away, I’m sure no-one need ever know.”
Slumping down onto the floor, he loosened his tie and ran a
manicured hand through his blond locks.
He sighed and watched us, assessing each of us in his customary
perceptive gaze.
“And the topic of tonight’s discussion is…” he ventured.
That was another tradition that we seemed to have developed over
the years. We didn’t seem to discuss
what had transpired during the Gundam years at all. Not until we met at the ball.
And then we would…share, speculate, discuss. I don’t know how it came to happen that way; it was never a
conscious decision. I guess none us
wanted to dwell, to rehash old memories, and resurface old pain. We weren’t boys anymore, not that we ever
really were. But once a year, every
anniversary, it seemed right to remember, and to help each other. I liked it this way and I think the others did
too.
Duo finally upended his glass, splashing the last few drops into
the small puddle he had created at his feet.
With a sudden flick of his wrist, he sent the empty flute sailing over
the railing and onto the cobblestone pathway below, where we could hear it
shatter with a sharp pop.
“Heero Yuy.” He spat, glaring at each of us in turn, seeming to
challenge one of us to respond. I
quirked my eyebrow at him, entreating him to continue. He shook his head; a sharp, impatient
movement.
“It’s been five years.
Why the hell can’t any of us even seem to say his name? Why do we seem to leave him out of every
discussion, like he was never even there?
We’re treating him like he’s dead.”
“Maybe he is dead.” Wufei’s voice rose softly from his darkened
corner, almost forlorn, “We couldn’t really know. He disappeared quite effectively. I should know. I’ve used every contact I have, within the
Preventers and without, with no success.”
I shot a look across at Quatre, who returned my glance with a
small, almost imperceptible nod. I
sighed, shifting my weight and glancing over my shoulder at the silently
flickering stars.
“Heero’s not dead.” I
murmured, and glancing at the doorway, I frowned. “ But you already knew that…. didn’t you Relena?”
There was a stunned pause, as my three companions were made
aware of our taciturn observer. She
stood there, her posture that of a creature trapped between the urge to turn
and take flight or stay and perhaps invade our exclusive circle. A faint blush seemed to spread across her
cheeks, and she ducked her head in apology for her intrusion. Duo was the first to move.
“Lena! How did you manage to slip away from all the stuffed
shirts?” He almost seemed to bounce up
from his seat, as he moved forward to take Relena’s hand. The Vice Minister seemed to visibly relax as
she leant forward to kiss Duo’s cheek.
“I’m so relieved. You
had all disappeared, and I was so worried that I had missed the chance to see
each of you.”
There was a pause as Relena accepted the chair that Quatre
offered her, smoothing out the skirts of her elegant ball gown. We settled into an uncomfortable
silence. Our new addition to the group
seemed to take a vested interest in her perfectly polished fingernails before
finally looking up and locking me in a steady, intense stare.
“When…” she paused to clear her throat, before beginning again.
“When did you see him?”
Wufei and Duo both turned to look at me, Wufei with eyebrows
raised and Duo with jaw dropped. I
scuffed my foot and shrugged, perhaps not unlike a chastised schoolboy.
“I can’t be sure it was him,” I offered “I could have imagined…”
“It was Heero, Trowa, you know it was.” Her interruption was
soft, yet firm “When did you see him.”
“Two weeks ago. At the
circus. Two weeks today.”
I shifted self-consciously, uncomfortable under the measured
stares of my friends. Quatre smiled
softly, with his familiar expression of understanding. Wufei simply looked mildly annoyed but Duo
was obviously pissed off.
“Were you planning on sharing that little piece of information
at any stage, Tro? “ he muttered mutinously.
Relena merely smiled serenely and leant across, squeezing Duo’s hand
gently.
Gracefully, she vacated her seat, stepping towards me. Pausing beside me, she looked into the night
sky. Almost as if on cue, a shooting
star flashed across the satin sky.
Eyelids slid down over aquamarine eyes, as perfect lips moved in silence
and I found myself wondering just what she was wishing for.
Wish made, Relena turned those eyes up to mine. I felt a lump form in my throat as I was
confronted by the sorrow those eyes bore.
With poise, she reached up and pressed slender fingers against my cheek,
cupping my face. Leaning up, she
pressed her lips against the line of my jaw, before whispering,
“I would be so happy if you would come visit tomorrow. I would so like to hear all about how your
life has been.” She paused, before resuming, voice even softer than before.
“He’s around. He’s always around. He’s here now, he just doesn’t think I know
it.”
Relena stepped back again, leaving my senses reeling from the
gentleness of her touch and the scent of her perfume. She turned to look back out over the balcony, her voice suddenly
rising; it’s edge heartrending.
“He thinks I’m so stupid!”
There was no mistaking the tremble in her tone, and she dropped
her chin to her chest, as she seemed to fight back her anger. Then resolutely, she straightened the
elegant fingers that had curled to grip the wrought iron and drew her shoulders
back to regain her normal posture.
“I really must return to the fray, I’m afraid, before my absence
is noted and all hell breaks loose.
Duo, I expect to see you very soon.
Hilde and I have already made dinner plans, so don’t even dream of depriving
me of your company.” Duo grinned openly, Relena’s charm melting away his
previous dark expression. She turned to
Wufei, pressing his hands in hers,
“And my dearest Wufei, I have just finished that marvellous
novel that you loaned me and I am so impatient to discuss it with you. “ she
laughed briefly, seeing the warmth in the Chinese man’s appearance at the
mention of his beloved literature.
Turning to Quatre, Relena clicked her tongue and shook her head.
“Mr Winner, I do believe you are working too hard. If we have to cancel one more lunch
appointment, I believe I will have to sell my shares in your company. It is surely no way to treat business
associates?” she said with mock severity.
Quatre laughed before bending to kiss her offered hand.
“Your wish is my command,” he announced “anything for my
favourite shareholder.”
And with a swish of silk, she was gone.
“So what the hell kind of game is he playing?” snapped Duo.