Disclaimer:: me (noun, first person, refering to thyself) no
(negative :: positive;yes) own. (entitled too.)

Me no own.
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This has lime to lemonish with ice. So be warned. Be warned for
either offending actions or because this story has my first lemon
scene...which I don't really think I went into much detail on, so
breathe safely.
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"Your rugged
breath besides me
now rapes my
redemption. Who will
redeem me now?"

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Redemption
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Prologue

I'm not sure how it started. It slowly was acknowledge when I first
looked at him. He was, in simple terms, beautiful. The sun walked
acrossed his neck, the sand kissed the corner of his lip. His eyes
weren't really pretty though, no, they were too shocked and angerd to
acknowledge me.

I hated him for that.

But curosity struck. I found a teenager boy on the beach who jumped
up, kicked serveral guys off a sidewalk, and sped off in a government-
funded vechile.

I was hooked.

But I wasn't in love. No. Perhaps a mere crush after time, but for
the most part I was interested in his lifestyle, his war, his gundam.
Not him.

But slowly, my intrest was driven from need. It wasn't driven from
passion. It wasn't even driven by desire. I wasn't sure what the need
was on my behalf.  Somehow, I knew my life fell short of destiny. As
I had soon found out, my destiny was a princess. Wow, I could be
compared to Snow-White, Sleeping Beauty, I was no different from
them. Except for one thing. They had a prince on a white horse, but
if I do remember correctly, Sleeping-Beauty's prince at the end of
the movie's horse was a cream color.

My prince was just a fairytale. I couldn't help but smile each time I
saw a frog though outside. My lips were tempted beyond words.

After sleepless nights, lonely dinners, and singing love tunes in the
shower, I've admitted to myself, I'm empty. I'm an empty person. My
symbol above all is passed down from my father, I didn't invent
peace. I only promote it. Where is my say? My wisdom?  Binded in a
box tucked under my heart, next to the trash can of deleated dreams
and wishes. That's where.

But still, I hadn't admitted that as my need. Sure, I was lonely,
sure I couldn't find my point of living, but something else drove me
more than any of those reasons. Heero Yuy.  I was for peace, and so
was he. Yet, our roads were different.  I wondered if our roads had
an intersection, and sure thing there was, with a big stop sign
posted before it.

I got the hint. He didn't want me to follow him. I was a distraction.
Well, he was a distraction for me. Fair enough. But each time I came
across him, he seemed different from the time before. He was, to say,
a man of moods.

All monotone, all different levels of emotions that I could sense
like radio waves. What the code was to those waves,  I wasn't sure. I
spent hours in my room, with a candle lit in the corner, the one that
was given to me by my brother,  trying to understand who Heero was.

I was dumbstruck. Both by not able to find the answer to who he was,
and awed of why I cared.

It was my need. Ever since that revelation sleezed it's way into my
mind, I found my self searching for redemption, a remedy, a quinch to
serve my thrist. I wanted to know him. But I wouldn't allow myself
ever to. No. That was a road I would not endure. My need would be
forgotten by the stacks of paper that crowded my desk, and his face
would be only a lazy memory.

His need, however,  I was only aware of when I arrive at his door.

His need for me to do a task at hand. To redeem his soundly nature.
Silent sound that seeped into the cracks of my life. I wanted to hate
him for that as well. For distracting me.  Making me fall for him. To
make me just be in awareness of his being.

I had my way of life. I was a symbol of peace. I was everything he
wanted to be. I was a boring, lonely girl. I couldn't sleep at night,
I would sit nude with a sheet wrapped around me as I watched the
night fade away and the stars dissappear. In those nights I relized
there was nothing special about the stars. They were peices of gas,
stone, dirt. Why would I wish on that? Why would I wish at all?

I wouldn't think. I would just be, and curse absently his soul under
my breath in the meanwhile.

I didn't want to help him. I didn't want to need him.

But he needed me to redeem him.  To cure his pain, to kiss his tears,
to hold him. To show him that he was loved. Known. Befriended and not
alone.

But I didn't want to give him the satisfaction. I wanted him to
suffer for the pain he caused me. But I have grown cold now.
Emotionless, but cold as well.

Cold, as the air was that day.

I was stubborn. And I had planned on staying that way. But his soul
was so deep, so even, so ...white...I couldn't resist. I needed it as
much as him.

Oh yes. I needed it as much as him if not more.  I needed to see the
codes of his blood cells. To know the rhythem of his heart beats. To
see his eyes while he took me into another world.

Redemption.

We both were seeking it. And in each other we saw the path to it's
outreached hands.

I remember thinking when I left that night for a walk, "I wonder if
I'll see Heero tonight." How many times do you see someone walking
around town who usually is locked up in their room on a laptop? Not
many. Somehow, now that I think back to that day, I knew I would end
up at his apartment doors, soaked to the skin, emotionless.  It
wasn't fate. It was my own two feet simply taking me to his place. To
cure him, or to cure myself. I'm not sure.

I wasn't aware of the encounterment I was going to have that night.
Nor the impact it would have on my life. I was aware, however,  of
the rain outside. The repeated sound of the dripping gutter. The
taste of it on the corner of my mouth. The sweet bitter rain.

Heero wasn't surprised to see me. But I could tell I had come when he
was at his lowest. Or perhaps, this was his normal state and I had
been too high to noticed. I was like that. Too busy to care, too busy
to seek. But each time I saw him I started to break. Slowly, his aura
penetrated my breath, broke the strength I held so deep, and
shattered my ground so I was left on my knees with the remains of the
dirt.

Grass stains on my knees.

He had the abilty to break me. Just as himself was broken.

I think that's what scared me the most. He was hurting, and I felt
too foolish, too prideful, to meet him, to know him, and to redeem
both of us that night.


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author notes::

hey everyone. Nope, I'm not dead yet. Just having A LOT of delays.
Please write me, I'd love to hear from ya.

-shev