Hello boys and girls, this is a R+1 fanfic, sorry I don't do yaoi. Anywho, this is a LEMON, which is rated NC-17. Kids if you are under 17, don't read. But what the heck, if you want to it is not my problem. Just don't come running to me if mommy and daddy catch you reading this. Please take note of the warning. Thank-you.

Amethyst....~

No more tears......

[you shall soon get the point of the title]

When she first felt him move, she thought he was going to the bathroom, but unfortunately she was wrong. And not knowing of her mistake, she went back to sleep. He looked around the room uninterestingly, when his eyes alighted on her diary, which was unhidden on her dresser. He took it up and walked over to the bed. After sitting down he leafed through it coming upon the latest entry. His eyebrow went up, as he began to read....

"'The water was cold, making me shiver with anticipation. Goosebumps rippled over my skin. The water showed our reflection, which kept on melding as ripples from our slowly moving bodies disturbed the water. Your eyes were shadowed, and your breath came out in slow warm gusts. My hand reached up to touch your face. You caught my hand in yours. You leaned closer. Your eyes, oh your eyes, were the colour of melted obsidian___heated with passion. They captured mine. Your hand, left hand moved to my waist; to bring me closer. Our bodies touched, a fire was ignited. My lips parted involuntarily. We were frozen in time. As a warm breeze flew over us; you leaned over and kissed me.

Deep in me I felt the passion rise, like the surging tide. Your lips moved over mine, coaxing me to respond. And I did. Your tongue slipped by the barrier of my lips, and delved deeply and wetly in my mouth. Pleasure courses rapidly through my veins like a firestorm. I moaned softly. The kiss turned into a kiss of hunger. You fingers tightened on my waist. My free hand held on to your shoulder. My tongue mated and danced with yours as we kissed in the coolness of the lake. Your hand drifted underneath the water to lift the hem of my skirt. In the water's chill, I felt your hand slide up my thigh. It stopped at the side of my underwear. A shudder passed through me. Your lips left mine and sipped droplets of water off my chin. Slowly I felt your hand move to strip off my panties.

"Oh God..."

I breathe as your nimble but gentle fingers touched me for the first time. My hand gripped your shoulders as you stroked me, making my muscles quiver with anticipation. I moan again. My head goes back with pleasure. You watch me through half-closed eyes, contemplating if you should continue. You do. You inserted your finger further, making me gasp with pleasure.

.

"Heero.........."

I whispered. Your finger stroked deeper, in an advance and retreat style. Under the water my hips slowly bucked. I moaned again. My desire for you is strong, very strong. I needed you. I needed your strength, your trust, and your love. Then in the thick fog of pleasure that had absorbed my brain, I heard a laugh, then Quatre's voice. You stopped immediately.

"Oh God."

I heard you say. I felt your finger slide from my wetness. You then drew up my underwear. You released me. My body felt cold and dismal, all the warmth gone as you left me. You took my hand to lead me out of the water. I slowly move my legs to follow you. My eyes dropped to our entwined hands. I look up.

"Heero?"

You stop in your tracks. In the stillness of the summer air, I could smell the sweetness of the honeysuckle flowers, which lined the lake to conceal it from view. You turned to look at me. But your eyes were not looking at me when you said:

"What we did was a mistake. I should never have kissed you."

A mistake? You turned and pulled me along. I was astounded, shocked. My heart stopped beating. Tears misted my eyes.

"But why?"

I asked, my voice breaking, with the immense pain I felt in my chest. You didn't look around when you said:

"Forget about it."

F_forget about it??? My heart broke in two. The pain that I felt was so extreme, that I could barely walk. What did I do wrong? What went wrong? You turn around when you felt me stumble.

"Relina?"

I turn my face away, not wanting you to see my burning shame and heartbreak. But you did. You turned around to face me. We were in the forest, which secludes the castle from outsiders. I look at you; you look at me. My eyes are the first to fall. Don't you see that I'm breaking up inside? Don't you see the pain and confusion that you are putting me through? A period of silence passes by. At my feet, I noticed a couple of small white flowers. They were dainty and beautiful. Seeking purity, hope, happiness and joy for people. But they are easily destroyed, if carelessly trodded upon. Strong enough to make others happy, fragile enough to be destroyed easily. Just like the Canq Kingdom. Which in turn takes after its queen.

I heard you sigh deeply. Still, I did not look up. Then I ask myself this: Why do I need your strength? I got this answer: For you are the one that keeps me alive. You are the one that made me into who I am, who is standing before you right now.

Yes that is the answer. But not all of it. Then why is it, that I am standing here before you, like a wounded dove begging for my ultimate trial? Shouldn't I run to save my soul? Shouldn't I flee, so as not to hear your words of betrayal, condemnation to my heart? And yet you say its just to save my soul.

I hear you move away from, you had said nothing. The tears that had threatened before began to fall. In the whisper of the breeze that swirled around us, I heared you say:

"I'm sorry...."

You left me there, under an apple tree(which I found out later) to cry and ask myself: Why?

Pagan found me there under that same apple tree, sitting staring into space several hours later. By then I was completely dry, and apple blossoms were caught in my hair. The only physical thing I did after you had left me there was to take off my shoes and socks and sit down. But after that, I wasn't.... conscious. It felt as if I was drifting....drifting in a well of despair. Pagan kneeled down infront of me.

"Miss Relina, are you alright?"

I looked up, from where I had heard the voice; not quite seeing him. He waved his hand infront of my face.

"Miss Relina?"

"Huh?"

I had to respond, didn't I? I saw him smile.

"I asked if you were allright. I was worried about you. What is wrong?

"Oh nothing just... thinking, relaxing, meditating; you know."

And as I said this, I put a very fake smile on my face, hoping to fool him, to fool myself. But it only disillussioned me more. But that smile, that smile that made my facial mucsles ache, seemed to soothe him.

"Come on, it's time for your bath. You are supposed to be feeling dirty after falling into the lake."

I stopped short in putting on my shoes, minus my socks.

"How Wha "

I was speechless. Why did you tell him that? After all, it was I who first pushed you into the lake. It was then you who pulled me in. Right on top of you. Oh God. That's what you said, when you.....No. Don't think about it. Then I noticed Pagan looking at me.

"What?"

"Hmmm.."

He shrugged.

"When I saw Heero, he was soaking wet; and when I asked him why he was wet, he told me that you had accidentally fallen in, and went to save you, seeing that you had not surfaced. I asked him how you had fallen in, he said that either you had stumbled or tripped, for you were right by the lake-side wanting to show him something."

I breathed a sigh of relief. You hadn't told him anything after all. But then I stop short. Why should I doubt you? I don't think you would even tell Duo. And Duo is very inquisitive. I sigh again. I finished putting on my shoes, then I walked with Pagan back to the castle.

In my room, I stripped, remembering our slow and heated kisses. Goosebumps rose all over my body. I stood in the middle of the room, and hugged myself. I turned in the direction of the dresser. In the dim light of the room, I saw my naked reflection. I looked so different. So vunerable, so fragile. I was tested, my young virgin body defiled. No. Not defiled. Not such a strong word. No something else, just becuase of my happines which is in a deep well of despair. Proven? Was I proven? Was the truth told to me that I have an undeniable sexual desire?

I walked over to the dresser, forcing my legs to move. I absentmindingly picked up a brush and began brushing my hair. I pinned it up, and walked to the bathroom. The water was warm. As I relaxed, I could still feel your hands upon my body. I could feel your fingers dwelling in my wet heat. I could feel you,

"Oooooohhhhh........"

I wasn't even conscious of moaning. My hands tightened in the marble sides of the bath. I could feel you, oh...I could feel you! My eyes popped open expecting to see you there with me. My eyes doubled for a moment.

" Oh my God..., I felt you with me."

I sank down back into the fragrant lavender water. What is happening to me? I slowly took up the sponge and dipped it into the water to wash myself, doing it involuntarily. The sponge fell in the water.

"Why do I love you so much?"

I pondered even harder, and went further than I usually do.

"Why do I love you?"

I put up a foot, trying to get more comfortable.

"I love you becuase of who you are, I love you becuase of what you do. [Author's note.... What you do? How about setting me on fire!! Continuing...] I love you because you are my strength my rock, but you are also unwillingly; my salvation. I need salvation, from you. You are my one and only: Heero."

I sigh sadly. If you only knew...... I finished my bath, and went to my amoire. But my eyes glanced tierdly at the assortment of clothing to choose from. I spotted my blue and black kimono, and shrugged into it. Then I flop into my bed boneless, tierd, weak, from thinking so much. I fell into a deep slumber, not waking until after ten in the morning.

I woke up red, flustered and hot, my loins throbbing delicatly, not instantly remembering my dream. I got up, and swung my legs over the side, and then it hit me; good and hard. I fell back into the bed with longing. why did you have to do that to me? Oh God. I smiled. That is what you said... Oh.... my dream came back to me fully now, sending me back......

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I was on one of the secluded patios on the castle. The rose vines grew tall, covering the glass that shelters the patio from rains and driving winds. It was night and the cool air from outside swirled through one of the open glass panes. I thought that I had locked the door behind me. I was wrong. I didn't hear you enter, but I felt your burning presence behind me. I turned around, frightened by your appearance.

"Heero? What are you doing out here?"

I remember myself asking. But all you did was to smile. A smile that had my insides melting. You walked closer to me, making my heart pound like a thousand horse hoofs had replaced it. You stopped right infront of me. A cool breeze moved around us, lifting my baby blue teddy off my thighs. I felt so naked infront of you; but it felt so right.... You brushed a strand of my hair off my cheek.

"Heero?"

Your fingers slipped down to my lips. Your calloused thumb brushed across my full bottom lip. Your hand dropped from my lips to my breasts. You slowly traced the dark areola of my nipple through the thin silk. My breath caught in my throat.

"Ooooooohh..."

I moaned as your head dipped to take that morsel of sweetness into your mouth. Through the damp silk I felt the heat of your mouth circle my nipple. I clutched to your shoulders, for purchase, for my knees had sudenly gone weak. You raised your head to look at me, my eyes fluttered closed. Next I felt my teddy being removed from my body. My breasts were revealed to you in the patches of silver, that had penetrated through the thick tangle of vines. You traced your fingertip around my other nipple, making it harden into a juicy berry for you to suck. And you did. I moaned again. My hands unbuttoned your shirt and drew it off your hard shoulders. You straightened. I look into your eyes, you look into mine. Cornflower blue clashes with Prussian blue. Your finger traces down to my hips where my teddy had stopped. You hooked your thumbs in the teddy and my panties and dragged both over my hips. Your eyes never left mine. Your fingers whispered over my thighs, stopping at my mount Venus. I unconsciously licked my bottom lip. You dipped your head to capture my tounge, and at the same time dipped your finger into me. I remember moaning, which was muffled by your mouth. You inserted your finger deeper in me, making me shudder with delight. Your thumb had found my clitoris and began stroking it.

In reality I was on my bed writhing and moaning out my pleasure. It felt so real. So real.

In my dream, I was fumbling with your jeans, finding it very hard to unbutton. You made a muffled groan of frustration, when my fingers finally pulled the troublsome button. My hand slipped in and cupped your hardness through your boxers. You broke off our kiss and looked into my eyes again. Your breath came out in harsh pants of pleasure. I slowly move my fingers inside of your shorts. Your Prussian blue eyes turned into obsidian orbs. My fingers lightly stroked you. It was like touching warm steel, hard and warm to the touch. I felt a shudder pass through your body. Your fingers slipped out of me to lift me onto the patio table. You drew both your pants and boxers to your ankles. You slowly step out of them. My heart thuds wildly again. You are so beautiful; so perfect; so... glorious. You parted my thighs and inserted your lower body between them. Your hands gripped my hips, Your breath swirling just above my ear.

"I'll try not to hurt you."

I heard you say. I nodded. it was the only thing I could do. You thrusted in then; hard. A broken cry escapes my lips. You kissed and nibbled my ear.

"I'm sorry"

You said, then you started moving; in and out of me; slowly. Pleasure replaced the pain that I had felt earlier, and it went through me like a firestorm. With my back arched, meeting you thrust for thrust, my hips still in your hands; your eyes never left mine. They examined mine, to see what I was feeling, what I was thinking...

"Heeeerrroooo....."

I moaned as your thrusts caused your hips to grind lovingly against mine, stimulating my clitoris. You thrusted harder, making me moan again. Our bodies were running with sweat, and heat mingled with our gasps of pleasure. My climax was nearng now. I gripped your shoulders tighter, raking my nails along your back. You shuddered and gripped me closer. I could feel you, the heat, the very essence of you mate deep inside of me. My climax could no longer be withheld, it rolled over me like a shock wave, causing me to scream out your name.

"Hhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrooooooooo!!!!!!!!!"

My muscles tightened over your shaft milking you hard. You lost your control, and in the midst of my climax, I felt you push harder, and harder, then with one final push, you released your essence in me. You moaned out my name in a plea (it sounded like a plea) Of release. I shuddered violently, the aftershocks of my climax buffeting through my body. You buried your head in my nape and struggled to regain your composure; as you too were suffering from aftershocks from your climax. I felt limp and weak, still shaken by our lovemaking. I raised my head to look at you. You also raised your head to look at me.

"......"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I woke up from my daydream, awake and alert. Damn! That felt so....REAL!! I tententivly felt myself. I was wet, and very satisfied. My loins throbbed as if I had just made love with you. I felt emotionall distressed. Not only did you conquer my life, but my dreams too. I curl up into a ball, not quite knowing why I felt so sad.

Time passed by. When Pagan came to wake me up, I was dissoriented.

"Miss Relina, Miss Relina!!!

"hmmmm....?"

I woke up from my slumber. My eyes fogged over.

"Pagan?"

A frown appeared over his face.

"Miss Relina it is past one o'clock. Why aren't you up yet?"

My mind tried to function.

"I was awake at ten, then I....."

I remembered my dream, which I relived when I first woke up.

" I fell asleep again, I guess.. I don't know...?"

I said fully remembering my very explicit dream. My face was flushed a bit. I put my hand to my cheek. It felt hot and moist. But Pagan did not notice my expression. His back was turned and he was striding towards my amoire.

"You have a meeting at three with Michael. The only meeting you have during this two month vacation. Now....."

He said turning to me,

"Which suit? The white or the blue?"

He held up both. I looked, then chose randomly.

" The blue? Okay, time for your bath. You don't want to be late now do you?

It was at promptly three o'clock, I stepped into the lunch parlour to meet with my brothers. Michael and Zechs were by the tall parlour windows having complementory drinks before eating. They didn't notice me when I entered. It was Jade, Michael's right-hand, second -in -command; who saw me, and came to greet me.

"Relina it has been a while, how are you doing?"

She asked squeezing me in her bear hug. Jade was someone who I love and appreciate. Out of every person I know, she is the only one I can confide in.

"So, so, but not in my personal affairs."

She smirked.

"Heero giving trouble again?"

"More than usual."

She laughed . Michael looked around and smiled at us. I waved shyly. Michael is more of a man than Zechs. He was taller, sturdier, more muscular and his eyes were not the same colour as Zechs or mine. He takes after our grand-father with midnight blue eyes, streaked with silver. A sign of a very dangerous stubborn streak. He had our father's long white hair though, and of course, he is more serious than Zechs. It's a rarity to see him in a good mood. It looks as if today is one of his good days.

[ Authors note: Oh my God!!!! They had another siblin?!?!?!? Noooo!!!!! I just made him up for my own personal needs. Yeah right. Personal. ^_~! Anyway this guy----- Michael; he is supposed to be a BABE!!! Okay? But he is not all that of a happy person. Got that? So don't worry if I talk about him and he is not smiling. He belives that dying is good, and he doesn't have a problem with killing. I mean he almost does it for a living!! (Got that from me ^_~ !) All orders have to go through him first, before they can go into action. Jade, she is his second- in - command; she follows his orders, OR he follows her orders..... Its a joint thing, don't try to understand. Any way he takes care of Relina's security, that's why he is there anyway; to make sure she is okay. So to seem Brotherly they have lunch. Yeah, yeah, Jade dragged him to do this anyway so ....... If she has such a Poweful influence...... I wonder what else can she provoke....He he he ^_~!!!]

Then I noticed the smoldering look that he gave Jade. Damn! He looks at her as if she is for lunch. Jade smiled coyly. Any man would love her. Sleek, muscle toned, bueatiful and a body anyone would envy. Basically---- she is to die for. Plus, she is the best assasinator in the whole universe.

Little do people know about her. All they are interested in is her beauty and fabulous bod. I wished that I looked like her.

"Michael is such a pervert giving me a look like that. Right in front of you too."

I look at her alarmed.

"Wha____ what do you mean?"

She looked at me her amethyst eyes twinkling.

"Sheesh. You are way too serious. May be that's why you have problems with Heero in the first place."

I looked at her astounded.

"I am not that serious! Well not as serious as him anyway."

She gives me an interested glance.

"What did he do to you? Your're frozen up like a dam. You definatley need to chill out. Tell me what happened."

We sat down at the table facing the guys. Just as a preliminary. But Jade prefers to sit with her back to the wall, and her eyes on the door and windows. I told her everything what had happened, from our first encounter in the lake to my morning dream.

"Do you think I'm obsessed with him?"

I asked tentatively, afraid of the answer I was going to get.

"Naw. Heero should know doing something like that in the first place would have cause consequences. But I still cannot belive that he did something like that. If it were Michael, I would have basically start stripping to get his attention."

Both of us laughed.

"He is that stubborn?"

I asked, with a grin on my face.

"Yup. It's a wonder I got him here. He was so stubborn to get out of bed this morning."

"Oh really?"

I asked still smirking.

"Yes really. Very, very stubborn"

We laughed again. Then I heard Zechs' voice right infront of us.

"What are you two tittering about now?"

We only smiled, but Michael answered his question.

"I guess Noin told Relina about your lousy performance and lack of enthusiasm and excitement in bed; and how she is bored by you."

He said dryly. I saw Zechs turn a remarkably bright shade of red.

"W wh wha what!?!?"

He said, annoyingly angry, but helpless at the same time.

"Wh who did she "

Michael patted him on his shoulder.

"Don't worry about that. You should try Viagra. I hear that it is excellent for sexual stimulation and excitement, and for a low sex drive. Although I have never used it before. I just don't seem to need it."

Zechs was speechless. Michael walked over to Jade.

"Up"

I saw her smile coyly. Then she said something in Aire, a language I could never seem to understand. I saw his eyes narrow a bit. But it wasn't a look of anger. It was a look of desire. Jade, satisfied she had stirred the sleeping dragon, got up with an impish smile. I saw my brother blink for a moment or two, then sat down. Jade sat on his left; me on his right. Zechs sat down at the other end of the table. We were served lunch.

It was after seven when I said good-bye to Jade, Michael and Zechs. I went up to my room, not only physically tired; but mentally too. Then I remembered what Jade had said in my ear when she hugged me good-bye.

"Keep strong Relina, and have faith in every thing that you do. Trust him Relina."

Have faith in every thing I do... Could I do that? I wondered. Could I really have enough faith to trust you again with my heart? After so many times you have hurt me? Do I have the patience to do that? Do I have enough hope to trust you? Do I? I had stopped in the corrider, looking lost and alone. Once you told me to belive in you. How can I do that when you have distanced yourself away from me... not talking to me?

"Trust him Relina....."

Are you afraid just like I am? Afraid of who you are, and why you are here? Are you afraid of me? Are you afraid of my love? The love I ache to give you. The love which could make you more.......human? Are you afraid that one day soon , your mission would come back to haunt you, and then you would have to kill me? No. You would have killed me a long time ago. Before Mari Mea's coup d'etat, before you saved the Earth from destruction by Milyardo, before you actually had give in to me, and stayed in the Canq Kindom; trying to protect me... fighting for my freedom. No. You would have killed me that first day I saw you. That day on the beach. And yet you didn't. You had so many opportunities Heero, but none did you act on. None.

Then, if you don't want to kill me, what are you afraid of? Me? I shook my head as if to clear it. No, you are never afraid. And you aren't afraid of me. My head snapped up when I heard footsteps coming towards me. Then I heard Duo's voice, Quatre's retort, and then your sarcastic reply. {can you get sarcastic with a monotone voice?} I straightened, and took a step foward. Then another. Feel confident Relina. I kept on saying to myself. Feel confident.

As I rounded the corner I saw them. Duo was in a jeans and blue shirt to match, Quatre in a jeans also but with a dark green shirt to emphasis his eyes; {Dorothy likes that} and finally you, in a jeans and a black tank top. I looked down not want to be caught staring.

"Hey Jousan! How are you?"

I heard Duo ask. My head goes up. I smile.

"Not too bad."

I replied,trying to keep the strain out of my voice. Duo didn't notice. You did. But unfortunately, so did Quatre. Quatre was going to say something, but was cut off by Duo.

"Sooooo, who was that hot looking babe I saw with you and your brother today?

I smiled and shook my head in despair. Somehow I knew this question was coming.

"I'm sorry Duo,she is way out of your league. Anyway she and my brother are together."

Duo looked crestfallen. I smiled again, just to hide the sudden spasm of pain that had rocked me to my core. An item. Together. If only.... My eyes clashed with yours your expression was unreadable, the fathomless Prussian depths unreadable. I shifted to my other foot, trying to find comfort. Then Quatre spoke up.

"Well let us leave, so that you can get some rest. You look as if you need it."

He smiled, as he gave me a small hug.

"Goodnight Relina."

I heard him say. I nodded, Duo waved to me, then I looked at you. You gave me the barest nod, then turned to leave. Quatre reminded me.

"Rememmber to get some rest Relina, and don't worry about congress!!"

I smiled, then turned to go. God!!!! Did I look that haggard? Did all of this unwanted stress, all of my unspoken and bottled up feelings show that much? I stumbled a bit. I stopped.

"I need to get a bath, then go to bed quickly. I'm practiclly falling down."

I muttered to myself. I walked to my room, only to find Pagan there, ready to pamper me with food,a bath and nice clean sheets. After all of this, I curled up in bed, trying hard not to cry. Not once did you say something to me. Not even when I saw you to return my ice cream dish. All I felt were your eyes; your impenetrable eyes peircing me up and down. Stripping all of my defences down to nothing. I was emotionall stressed out. I felt my shoulders quivering under the sheets. But I forced myself not to cry.

Ther is no use for tears. None at all. But, then, why do I feel so sad? Other than you don't want me, what___ "

I struck me then.

"You don't want me."

I heard myself whisper.

"I'm an inexperienced virgin, who is jumpy, and clingy, not really your ideal woman. I talk about pacifism so much, and never get to spend time with you and talk to you about your problems. Never."

I whispered to myself.

" Now I know. And it's tearing me apart, just to think how stupid I must have looked towards you. So stupid."

I laugh then, but my laughs turned to sobs. The tears finally came. Tears of sorrow and unhapiness. Tears of a lost gift. Tears for my tormented soul.

" Oh Heero."

When I woke up the next morning I tried to act like like a completely different person. For the whole day. But that simply did not work. That night I cried myself to sleep, and also for the remainder of the week. The only person who noticed my depression was Noin. She tried to talk to me, but it didn't work. You are a Gundam Pilot. You were made to be hard, rugged, calloused, never to be carefree, never to put caution to the wind. Always cautious, never revealing your heart to anyone. So I went around for the rest of our vacation depressed, as if the world weighted down on my shoulders. But always cheerful and happy towards others. My face a mask, that could easily be shattered if you were to probe into me. But in the nights, in my nights of solitude , my mask would shatter, and I wonder to myself, Is there ever going to be and end to all of this fakeness? This deception and lies? Is there an end??

I had to get out of the house, and out of your sight. I couldn't take it anymore. It is like I was going to go mad. So I went to the stables and got a horse. Michael's estate has a lot to explore. I got a sweet tempered mare named Aishta. She was a chesnut gelding, with a white streak on her nose. I led her out into the wide fields which stretched out endlessly before me. Before long, the wind was in my face, my hair,and my feelings were a rushing turmoil in me, as tears ran down my face. Aishta, sensing my sadness, stopped and turned on the reins a bit. I let her have a free lead. She led me deep into the forest that surrounded the estate. I leaned over close to her, taking in her comforting breathing, and snorts;my head resting on her mane. I felt alone with only Aishta as my comfort. But her kind presense wasn't enough.

Aishta led me on an old worn path. But I really didn't care where we were going. I was tired and unhappy, my nights of lack of sleep catching up with me. I closed my eyes, but sleep wouldn't come. Instead I was plauged with thoughts of you. Your pentrating gaze, your exquisite body, your soldier qualities, who makes you Heero Yuy. My traitorous thoughts wandered even further. I wonder what it is like to make love with you? But how can I even get that experience if you are withdrawing yourself awy from me? I sighed deeply,not able to control the tears as they came again. As I sniffled, I heard the sound of rushing water. Could it be?

Aishta led me off the path, into a small clearing. I gasped with awe at the sight that beheld me. Lost angel. It was a beautiful sight. My tears instantly dried. The sights and sounds soothed me, filled me with great calm. THe falling water created a mist, and when the sunlight dappled through it, it created a rainbow of many colours. The sight was awesome. I raised my eyes to the heavens, the trees shaded the falls from veiw. Sunlight came through the trees in dapples, creating a patchwork of light, like a quilt on the ground. I got off Aishta, and led her to the cool crystal water. As she drank, I took in every thing. The refreshing smell, that the water created, the thunderous, but melodious sound, it made, pounding against the rocks,and the beautiful rainbow the mist created. I sighed with peace settling over me.

I looked down into the water, suddenly feeling wistful, wishing that you were here with me, to witness such a beautiful sight. I crouched down, on my haunches, to get a better view of myself in the water.

"Oh Heero, where are you? I miss you."

I whispered softly to myself, as I stared down at my reflection. Tears gathered in my eyes. Then one solitary tear slipped down my cheek, into the water. The impact caused tiny ripples to appear. Then I noticed that Aishta had stopped drinking, and was looking to my right. Then I heard it. The quiet snuffling of a horse eating. I looked up quickly. There I saw your black Arabian horse Nito, eating the sweet grass, quite pleasurably, not taking any notice of us. It was then I saw you. You were wearing a white mariner, with black jeans,plus you were barefooted. Your hair was rumpled as usual, and your eyes; your eyes held an expression that I had not seen in them before. An expression that I could not quite fathom. You slowly walked to me, making my heart pound with excitement. But excitement for what?

You stopped right in front of me. You slowly wiped away my tears. By you doing that, I was momentarily transported to a time before this, when you tore up my invitation, you did the same thing. I froze, not knowing what to expect next. You slowly uncurled my fist, which still hung unto Aishta's reins. You lightly smirked, as I looked down in confusion. You put the reins over Aishta's head, and took my hand. I slowly followed, my mind running around in circles. Where are you taking me? Why are you acting this way?Are you acting on your emotions? And if so, why?

You led me over the water, by the use of stepping stones. As I looked down into the water, I saw our reflections. Me, unsure and afraid; you determined and strong. We reached the other side with little difficulty. I looked at our surroundings, and gasped with delight. You turned to look at me with a tiny smile on your face. {Heero smiles? Well maybe just a tiny one. Back to the story...} The meadow was beautiful. Flowers reaching out everywhere as far as the eye can see. The fragrance released by the various amount of flowers was heady, intoxicating. The colours produced by them was unusual to see. Blue, red, yellow, white, purple, pink, orange, crimson, and the green foliage peeping out here and there admist the field of flowers. All I could do was just gape at the sight. And in the midst of them all, in the shade of a young weeping willow tree, there lay a blanket,and your saddle; which was being used as a head rest. I looked at you uncertainly. I opened my mouth to say something, but you put your finger over my lips. My eyes widened a fraction. You moved closer to me and tilted up my chin. With my eyes locked with yours you slowly lowered your head.

My eyes drift close, as you brushed your lips with mine. Once, twice, then a slow and heated kiss. Your tongue pushed pass the barrier of my lips, and slipped into the sweet recess of my mouth to drink from it, and to cherish it. A moan slipped out from my throat as you released my lips. We were both breathing hard and I looked at you uncertainly. There is this unusual fire in your eyes....and strangely, it comforted me. It gave me consolation, that no matter what happens, we are going to finsh this, you are going to finish what you have started two weeks ago, that fateful day in the lake.

You slowly lead me under the willow tree, not breaking eye contact. You reach for me again to kiss me, this time in deep urgency. I fisted my hands in your shirt, and tugged upwards, for you to take it off. You broke our kiss, and stripped it off impatienly. You reached for me again. My meandering hands roamed all over your back, memorising the feel the texture, and storing deep within me every scar that you have. You slowly took of my jacket/vest, and unbuttoned my pristine white cotton shirt. You gently pulled it off my shoulders and threw it somewhere on the ground. You broke our kiss again and looked deep in my eyes. Seeing my apprehension, you pressed soft kisses on my face. I could feel your nimble fingers undoing the clasp of my bra. It fell on the blanket like a white feather, being blown in the wind.

Your hands made a slow sojourn of my body, as I stood there, afraid and apprehensive. Your thumb skimmed over my nipple, I closed my eyes, expecting what will happen next. I felt your mouth circle my nipple, lick around the pink areole, before taking that morsel of sweetness in your mouth. You sucked on it, like how a child will nurse at his mother's breast. I could feel myself melting within your grasp, inside of me a whirling mass of emotion. Your other had stimulated my other breast, causing me to tremble with pleasure. My hands sifted through your soft, but unruly hair, as I held you close. Soon I was fining it difficult to keep standing. You lifted your head, and gazed into my eys. My eyes were glazed over with passion and the desire I felt for you. You gave me that knowing grin again, and pressed butterfly kisses down my flat, non-existent stomach to where my pants had started.

You look into my eyes curiously, and seeing my desire in their cornflower depths; you unfastened the clasp and pulled down the zipper. You then pulled the pants down my legs, but stopped them at my knees. You took off my boots and socks, then finished taking off my pants.Underneath it, all I wore was a scarp of white lace, which could bearly hold itself together. You grinned at my choice of underwear. Thongs were a necessisity if you plan on wearing skin tight pants. You slowly strip of my thong, and all my hidden treasures were finally revealed to you. I felt vunerable being exposed to you like that, but soon you took care of all my fears.

You lay me down on the blanket, and gave me a chaste kiss, before standing up to remove the rest of your clothing. I couldn't avert my gaze, and I shamelessly watched as you took off your tight-fitting jeans, then your black silk boxers. My eyes widened to sausers when I saw you unleashed before me for the first time. You were HUMONGOUS!!!!! {Okay, exagerratted a bit} I'm am sure this is what Dorothy would have called a 'Perfect10!!' I looked a little worried now. How on earth is that going to fit into me? You laughed a bit at my expression. You lay down beside me and put a finger over my lips.

"Ssssssssshhhhhhh."

You shook your head, your locks nearly sheilding your intense gaze away from mine. You slowly put your body on mine, letting me get used to your weight a bit. Then you, pressed tiny kisses to my face, neck, chest, and stomach. Your tongue playfully lapped around in my navel, nipping slightly, emitting a squeal from me. I let you roam freely, but was dissapointed when you didn't make any move to the heart of my feminity. You kissed down to my toes, and back up, after lapping and sucking at each digit, one by one. By this time, I was covered in a thin layer of sweat, feeling hot and voyouristic all at the same time. By the time you had reached my thighs, I felt moist and wet, and was begging for release. You nipped both thighs before dipping your head in, to lap straight up to my nub of pleasure. Your tounge curled around it,and nibbled. I arched and bucked off the blanket, wanting more. My hands, unwittingly held you there while your tounge lapped around my nub of pleasure, while your fingers delved deep in me, but careful not to break my hymen. I was moaning out loud now, my voice gaining in pitch. My hips bucked within the tune of your fingers and tongue, my head thrashing on the saddle. I felt myself heading towards something, something wonderful. I must acheive it, I must strive for it. I must....

"Hhhheeeerrrrrooooo!!!!!!!!!"

I cried out, as wave after wave of intense pleasure slammed through me. My body shuddered, and bucked. After I calmed down you pressed a kiss on my opened feminity, and withdrew your fingers. I slowly opened my eys and looked straight into your Prussian blue ones. I was still breathing hard, and my breasts heaved with every breath that I took. You placed your body on mine, your lower body slipping between my parted legs.I stiffened momentarily. I looked up at you concered. You slowly shook your head as if tell me not to worry. In the far regions of my mind, I asked myself why you aren't talking, but stopped when I felt you nip my ear then whispered:

"I'm sorry if I hurt you..."

You took my hips into your hands and thrusted in then; and my body tensed with the sudden pain. I whimpered as I felt it spiral up to my womb, to my chest. I gasped, and a few tears trickled down my cheeks. You dashed kisses across my face and neck, as if to soothe my pain and make it yours. Sensing my body relaxing, you slowly pushed again. I arch my back a little.

"Oooooohhhhhh........Heero..."

You took this a a sign, and you gripped my hips a little firmer, and thrusted in harder. I excepted your length, and you slipped in deeper, touching my cervix with each smooth and controlled thrusts. My legs wrapped arounfd your waist, my heels digging in your ass to go faster. And you did. While doing this, your eyes never left mine. *Deja-vu* I arched my back more, to give you the maximum penetration. Your cock slightly grazed the tip of my cervix, evolking pleasureable moans from me. You finally broke the eye contact, to lap at the trickle of sweat, which had meandered it's way between my breasts. My soft moans of pleasure wafted above your ear. You nip my ear again, then traced the love bite with your touge, making me moan again. Your thrusts had become hard and demanding. My breasts bounced slightly with every thrust. I felt your hot breath caressing my ear.

"Scream out my name"

I heard you mutter.

"Heeerro...."

"Louder"

You muttered.

"Heero..."

"I want to hear you scream..."

His thrusts were still hard, but more demanding.

"Louder..."

"Heero...!"

"Louder"

You nipped on my ear again, your hot breat swirling above it.

"Hheerroo!!"

My hips started to buck wildly, within the circle of your hands. I could feel my climax coming, ready to send me off a cliff of pleasure.

"Don't hold back......"

With my head thrashing on the saddle, I gave into it, and stars burst behind my closed eyeslids, the pleasurable sensations hitting me left, right, front and center.{Whoa!!}

"HHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I opened my eyes to see you cry out my name in a silent plea, your hot jism shooting up into me, causing me to melt with pleasure. You collapsed on me, your head resting in the crook of my neck. Your breathing was eratic, as was your heart rate, but then again; so was mine. You kissed my neck and murmered my name.

"Relina."

You said it so reverently, as if my name is a prayer to you. I couldn't say anything, I just lay there, on the blanket, with you resting in between my legs, your dick shrinking within me. Our cum mixing together and drying. You slowly raised your tired body off mine, and lay down on your back, with my head resting on your shoulder. You tiredly stroked the nape of my neck and within minutes, I was asleep on your shoulder. It was then you whispered it to me, when you thought I was sleeping.

"Ai shiteru Relina."

You closed your eyes tiredly and fell asleep, not noticing the small smile that curved my mouth; to show that I have heard.....'"

I could feel your eyes on me, as you closed the diary. I was buried under the sheets, my face beet red. You slowly reached over and pulled the sheets off me. Your eyes held something deep, and I thought I was in for it. But I braved for the worst of the storm.

"You heard?"

Your voice sounded strangled, and weak. I nodded. You looked at me for a couple moments more before.

"Well at least that saves me from saying it again."

You said quiet ironically. My brow furrowed with confusion.

"Huh? I thought that you were going to be mad."

It was your turn to look confused.

"Why should I be angry Relina, I do love you. It is just hard sometimes to say so."

I sat up, in the bed with the sheets around me, covering up my nakedness. It has been two days now, since you first made love to me.

"Relina, being a soldier is hard, especially being one without emotions. I was trained not to feel, not to love. But doctor J made a mistake, I had a human heart. And nothing could change that. That is why I love you so. You were the only one, the first one actually to break down my wall Relina; you broke down the walls to my heart. And I thank you for that."

You took my hand in yours,and kissed every finger tip. I was touched. I was never told anything like that before. {Yeah right, how could you, no previous experiences, remember? Oh well to continue} Tears formed at the corner of my eyes. You wiped them away, and drew me close.

"I will not let you cry anymore tears. I promise."

And you did.

[Well that's it! My sick and sordid tale of love. Sorry for the lack of feeling in the lemon part. Wasn't feeling too enthusiastic at 11 o'clock in the night, with my brain crying out for sleep. Well that was my first ever PUBLISHED fanfic. Hope you liked it. Toddle-loos --- Amethyst.]