I can't believe I wrote this... This is my first attempt at a lemon - hope ya'll enjoy. Oh yeah, I don't own the characters.

This fic takes place about three years after Endless Waltz. They might be a little OOC. Humor me.

Ease My Pain

Heero stared across the conference room. Always vigilant, that was his job. It had taken him a year after the Mariemaia incident to decide that there was little else he cared to do in the world than be near her. He no longer wanted to kill, but if it was necessary for her sake he would have to accept that. She hated it and he knew it. Him always taking off on one mission or another, making sure would-be assassins were cut down before they got the chance to strike. She worried about him constantly, the fear keeping her awake at night and occupying her days. He watched her shuffle the papers and prop her chin up with her arm as one of the other representatives droned on and on about some ridiculous trade agreement. After what seemed like forever the meeting adjourned and Relena walked to his side, allowing him to escort her home.

They walked in silence down the hallway. 'He does this because he cares for me,' Relena told herself. It was the only way that Heero could ever express his feeling for her, and that was to protect her. Heero had yet to lose his icy façade, though the occasional bit of tenderness crept through from time to time. He saw her safely inside the limo, checking for bombs or defects to the automobile before letting himself inside as well. Relena plunked all her paperwork down and slumped in the seat as Heero looked on from across the car.

'She looks tired,' He thought to himself; and sure enough Relena had drifted off to sleep by the time they reached her estate. He gathered her into his arms and carried her effortlessly up the two flights of stairs to her bedroom. She stirred slightly as he lay her down on the large bed, letting out a soft sigh as she settled into the sheets. He allowed himself a few minutes to study her. The flowing golden hair cascading over her shoulders and fanned out behind her, forming a halo of sorts on the pillow; her soft white skin and slightly parted lips... His eyes moved farther down, scanning over the curves, which the satin sheets clung to. 'No,' he told himself, blocking the thoughts from his mind. He turned abruptly and quickly left the room. He made his way to one of the downstairs sitting rooms and reclined on the couch.

The high-pitched beeping jolted him from sleep. He glanced down at the pager - Preventer Headquarters. Rubbing his eyes he made his way over to a vid-phone and dialed in. "You paged me," he said flatly as Lady Une's image appeared on the screen.

"We've received word of a colonial militia somewhere in the X cluster. I've sent out two teams, but I'd prefer to have someone with experience leading them. Can you leave in the morning?"

The light of the screen flickered in Heero's eyes. "Yes. Who will guard Relena?"

"I'll send someone over first thing," she replied. "And I'll see that all the information I have on this militia is transferred to your files."

Heero only nodded and Une ended the transmission. Taking a deep breath, he stood up and headed toward the kitchen for a drink, only to be met by Relena in the doorway. She was visibly upset. "Again?" she questioned, her voice wavering. "They're sending you off again?" He made no attempt to soften the answer.

"Yes."

He looked her up and down, noticing that she had changed into a long silk nightdress. The silvery material left little to the imagination as the lamplight shone on it. Relena let out what seemed to be an exasperated sigh/choked sob and retreated to her bedroom in a flurry of silk. Heero hesitated, standing in the hall for a long time, but finally he made himself walk to her room. He softly pushed the door open and found her sitting on the edge of the bed with her back to the door. Walking quietly across the room, he made his way over and sat down beside her on the bed. She didn't acknowledge his presence, but just sat still, staring at the floor. After some time, she stood up and paced the length of the room, all the time saying nothing to him. Finally she stopped. Glancing up at him tearfully, she struggled to get her words out. "Is there nothing I can do to make you stay?"

Completely caught off guard by her question, all Heero could do was stare back at her. She kneeled down in front of him, resting her cheek on his thigh. "Please just stay with me," she whispered. In response, Heero let his fingers roam over her cheek, and she looked up at the touch. She rose to her feet and stood in front of him, holding his hand in her own. She guided it over the straps of her nightgown, loosing them one after the other until the garment slipped to the floor, a shining pool around her feet. 'This is it. This is all that I can give him - the last part of me that I have to give.' Relena watched as Heero's eyes moved over her figure. He took in every curve, moving from her small but full breasts down to her hips and the small patch of golden curls between her legs... but then he closed his eyes. When he re-opened them he looked down at the floor.

Bending to pick up the fallen nightgown, he betrayed no emotion as he rose from the bed and handed it back to her. She looked at him in bewilderment as he met her eyes. "I'm here to protect you, that's all I know how to do. Put your clothes on, Relena. I'll see you in a few weeks." With that he turned away and left the room, using all his will not to imagine the hurt and stunned look on her face that he would have seen had he turned around.


ONE MONTH LATER

Heero exited the shuttle and headed right for the hotel nearby. He had finished his last mission; the militia had been subdued. Now he would go back to her, that is, until he was called away again. What had passed between them before he had left last month was burned in his memory forever. He could not get the image of her body out of his mind. Had he been a fool to refuse her? Deep down he knew there was nothing that he wanted more than to take what she had offered him. But that was not what he came back for, was it? He found her as she was returning to her room after a day of meetings on the colony. She was about to close the door when he caught it with his arm. Relena turned around in surprise, and the look of shock did not leave her face as she saw him. Redness quickly seeped into her cheeks as she spoke to him. "Hello, Heero," she said coldly, turning to retreat to the desk in the room. "If you'll excuse me I have some work to do, and I really don't care to see you right now."

"You'll have to see. My temporary replacement has already left."

She walked back over to him, losing the battle with the tears in her eyes. "So you're back until the next mission calls you?" she asked, unable to conceal the hurt in her voice. Heero grabbed her arm before she could turn away again.

"I'll always come back to you." She was obviously not expecting that statement.

"Why must you go in the first place?" Relena asked, this time more quietly. Heero had no answer. "I don't ask you to stay to protect me, I ask you to stay because I love you. I want to wake up next to you every day. I want to ease your pain," she finished.

For some reason her words struck a rageful chord in Heero. The idea seemed absurd to him - ease his pain. He tightened his grip on her arm and forced her to look at him. "Ease my pain?" he spat through clenched teeth. "I killed four people yesterday, one with my bare hands. Do you still want me? Do you still want to ease my pain?" She looked afraid for just an instant, but took no time to reply.

"Yes, I do," she whispered, and moved her hands to his face, gently pulling him nearer to her and planting a kiss on his lips. The feeling of her closeness, the softness of her touch... he lost himself in it, and rage and hurt poured forth from him. Without another word he pulled her in for another kiss, making it hard and deep, taking everything she had to give. He pushed her skirt up around her waist, tearing at the delicate panties beneath as they fell onto the bed. In a flash her blouse and bra were gone as well. Heero pulled off his own clothes, his mouth never leaving hers as he ravaged it again and again. The sensation of her bare skin against his made his need all the more urgent as he planted a trail of harsh kisses forcefully down her neck and chest. Claiming one of her breasts, he suckled it as she writhed against him, tickling him with her loosened waves of hair. He could no longer stand the wait, and without warning he plunged his swollen manhood inside of her, welcomed by the wetness and heat. She cried out and held tightly to him, which made him stop for an instant. He peered into her wide-open eyes, which told him to go on. Heero felt her temperature rise as he moved deep inside her, again and again, as she matched his thrusts, dizzy between the sensations of pleasure and pain flooding through her body. Relentlessly he pushed, feeling his rage and confusion lifted from him each time he drove himself into her. The exquisite pleasure overwhelmed him as he became aware of Relena's climax moments before his own; adding to the surge of wetness as he let go, sending his seed deep within her as they cried out together. They held each other tightly, trembling from the orgasms, tenderly exchanging kisses and gentle touches. Never had Heero ever felt such release, but was it enough to make him stay?

END