De
Profundis
Chapter 9
Disclaimer: You could try and
sue me, but you don't know where I live do ya? Ner! :P
AN: I wanna give a big thanks to everyone who was brave enough to review the
last chapter! ^_^ I know I kinda disappointed some of you, because you
were hoping I'd "keep it clean" but I was coerced! HONEST! Be
warned this chapter is a weepy... get your tissues out! Also, if you want
to get the intended emotional impact from this chapter you should read it
listening to Thomas Newman's - Any Other Name from the 'American Beauty'
soundtrack... I wrote the last scene to that song and even *I* was crying!!
[Earth: Sanc Kingdom Royal Infirmary]
“You never told me this was his condition.”
“You didn’t ask.”
“Why did you bring him here?”
“It seemed appropriate.”
“Yes.”
Lady Une’s eyes softened at the sight of one of her best agents, very near
death.
Without thinking she lifted the chart hanging awkwardly from the base of the
sterile hospital bed.
She flipped each page, frowning at the unintelligible display of letters and
numbers; they revealed nothing of consequence.
But the last page.
The last page showed her exactly what she had feared.
Her hand flew to her mouth.
“Minimal chance of recovery.
Possibility of brain damage.
Expected paralysis.”
Her whispered words barely made it to her own ears.
“This is a minor setback.
You still have an active agent on JX00019, we have not failed yet.”
Faraday moved to leave the room.
“Minor setback?”
Une balled her fists, she was seething with anger.
“Do you even know who this is?”
Une stood menacingly in front of Faraday.
“I am very aware of who this man is.
But his own carelessness has brought him to this end and we cannot be wavered by
it.
He took on the risks of going to JX00019, and the consequences are his to bare
alone.”
Faraday glanced back at Zechs’ broken body.
“He is paying the price for his ineptitude.”
Une felt sick at the man’s lack of compassion.
She stepped out of his way as he passed towards the exit; a sickly feeling
overwhelming her.
“The Foreign Minister should be informed.
She need not suffer for his-“
Une paused, wanting to sting Faraday with her words.
But it was useless, Zechs’ death would not trouble this man one bit.
“-ineptitude.”
“Very well.
If you feel you must.”
Faraday continued towards the door.
He did not hear Une’s last whispered words as she collapsed into a nearby
chair.
“Forgive me Mr. Treize.”
[Earth: Sanc Kingdom Capital City]
Regrets?
His face changed to an expression that could pass for a smile.
No regrets.
Her sleeping form lay on his.
Her arms were around his waist and her head rested on his chest.
Her silken tresses splayed soothingly down his body.
If anyone would have told him, as little as 24hours ago, that he would be here
in her arms he would have never believed it.
He would have probably physically assaulted the person who would even imply such
a thing.
More than likely Duo.
But now; now there was nowhere he’d rather be.
No one he’d rather be with.
He’d sell his soul to stay in this moment.
Her body shifted as she stirred, only minutes remained before she would wake.
Just minutes left in this silent world where the Sun glared through the window,
and a warm breeze blew the linen curtains of the French balcony doors.
Their clothes randomly positioned throughout the room.
Her breath on his chest; her hair tasseled across her back; her legs entwined
with his; her mouth whispering his name in her sleep.
Her.
Relena tightened her grip on his body, he could feel her smile as she woke.
“You’re still here.”
“Where else would I be?”
“Your mission.
Wufei.
Or have you forgotten?”
Heero looked down at her, as she propped her head with her chin on his chest.
“I haven’t forgotten.”
“Shame, all this could have been almost perfect.”
Heero raised an eyebrow.
“Almost?”
Relena slapped his arm playfully.
“Not that.”
She lifted herself from him smiling radiantly, that smile that always told Heero
that he had to remember to breathe.
She slid upwards, her palms pressed to the bed at his shoulders, supporting her
weight.
Claiming his mouth with her own in a passionate searching; her tongue fervently
matching his own.
His arms lifted from his side,
ascending her back, to her head.
His fingers became tangled in her blonde mane.
Relena reluctantly ended the kiss, her eyes glinting with mischief.
“That was perfect.”
He nodded, glad that he was her first.
He didn’t know why, but it felt good to be the only person she had ever been
with.
It felt right; like something told him it would always be that way.
“What I meant was, it would have been truly perfect if you didn’t have to
leave so soon.”
“Relena.”
He stopped waiting for her eyes to return to his.
“I have to go.”
“Yes.
But that doesn’t mean I’m happy about it.”
“I know.”
“Do you?”
Heero finally moved from his position, purposely making Relena have to move away
from him.
Relena sat up on the other side of the bed, covering herself with a sheet, her
brow furrowing.
“Do you know what I go through each time you go away?
Do you have any idea of what you do to me?”
Heero closed his eyes and clenched his teeth, remembering her cry herself to
sleep while watching helplessly.
He remembered when Duo told him that she tried to kill herself, he remembered
her ghostly eyes that night only days ago.
He knew all too well.
“I don’t do it to hurt you Relena, I do it because if I don’t, then who
will?”
Heero attempted to calm his harsh tone.
“Who will protect you?”
Relena lowered her head, her hands falling to her lap.
“I’m sorry you have to live with that.”
Heero gently grasped her hand.
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Relena could see the tears blurring her vision, but they weren’t for sadness,
but of overwhelming relief and elation.
She didn’t reach his gaze; she just looked at their hands, their fingers
entwined.
It was quickly becoming the trademark of their new relationship.
When everything was said, when everything was done.
Their hands in this tender grasp were all they needed to communicate.
A shrill beeping from the other side of the room startled Relena into looking
up.
The silent tears prominent on her face.
The din caused by the comm. System finally broke her from the intensity he held
in his eyes.
Slipping into a sky-blue; satin bath robe, she disappeared from view, heading
towards her small desk in the adjoining room.
Heero silently watched her go.
Relena tapped the ‘accept transmission’ key.
She unconsciously tightened her robe upon seeing the Preventer Seal fill the
screen.
“Establishing Secure Connection…
Please Wait…”
“Connection Established.”
Relena silently looked on as the image of Lady Une appeared on screen.
Her eyes were empty and tired.
She hadn’t slept, something was wrong.
“Relena, I’m sorry.”
Relena could feel her palms sweating, her body filled with a dull dread.
“You better come as soon as possible, there might not be much time…
before… he…”
The next few words didn’t seem to go in, all she head was ‘brother’ and
‘die’ it echoed in her mind.
“He’s at the Royal Infirmary, you should come quickly; I’m told it could
be anytime now.”
She simply nodded and broke the connection, ignoring Lady Une’s asking if she
was ok.
Her eyes glassed over, as she stepped back into her room, she looked up,
expecting to see Heero, asking what was wrong.
Instead she was greeted with a cold room, her clothes neatly folded on a freshly
made bed.
He was gone.
[Earth: Sanc Kingdom Royal Infirmary]
Relena passed so many people on her way down the corridor, but nothing
registered.
All she could think was that she had caused this war, no matter what Lady Une
said.
She could have stopped Dourchov somehow.
She had caused a war that nearly took Heero from her and now it was about to
take her only brother; her only family in the world.
“Vice Foreign Minister.”
The use of her professional title gained her attention.
The young Preventer agent stood before her.
His raven hair tied back; his piercing eyes relaxed from their usual narrow
gaze.
“Wufei.”
Relena nodded courteously as she passed him.
Wufei looked back up as he saw her stop.
She had remembered Heero, and his supposed mission.
Looking back Relena opened her mouth to question him, but he already knew her
question.
“He’s not here.”
Relena looked down to the floor, mentally forcing herself to walk on.
Have some pride in herself, but she waited.
She needed to know.
Wufei sighed impatiently. “Chief Commander Une will explain everything to
you.”
*****
Relena stepped into the small family room of the hospital.
It was a sparsely furnished room, only the bare, meager comforts for those in
pain through the loss of a loved one were accommodated for.
A small table, chairs, a coffee machine.
It was a depressing room.
Nothing like she would have imagined.
Apparently the shock was visible on her face.
“After the loss of someone special, no one really cares whether the room they
are in is carpeted and decorated.
Whether there are flowers or magazines to read.
It would just be money wasted that could be used to save peoples lives.”
Relena looked down at Lady Une, her face betrayed nothing of her tone.
“Still, I’m sure they would prefer it to this.”
Relena sighed, seeing as she wasn’t going to get a response.
“I was told you wanted to see me first.”
“Yes that’s right.
I feel I owe you an explanation, as to why your brother was at JX00019.”
Relena smoothed her hands over her casual jeans. She didn’t have time to
concern herself with formal attire.
“I think I can guess.
He is a Preventer after all.”
“Indeed.
But he wasn’t an active agent, he was stationed at the Utopia Plenitia
terra-forming compound on Mars.”
Relena raised her brow; this wasn’t anything she didn’t already know.
“Apparently the security at the communications centers on Mars is lax.
He managed to get wind of a colonial uprising on JX00019.
Apparently they weren’t happy with the colonies decision to side with the
Gundams in the war with White Fang.
This colony and its inhabitants, one of which was this man.”
Une pulled a criminal record file from the bulging folder in her hand.
The photo clearly displayed JX00019’s current leader.
“That’s Cornel Dourchov.”
Une nodded, glancing at the file now in Relena’s hands.
“He was a member of a terrorist group that peddled the idea that the Earth was
the cause of all the troubles in the colonies, and that its destruction would
herald a new era, one in which he would lead them all to salvation”
Relena smirked.
“That’s some powerful propaganda.”
“Yes, the tragedy is, that he was right.”
“Are you saying that Dourchov wants to destroy the Earth?
Continue where White Fang left off?”
Une nodded grimly.
“That’s where Zechs comes in.
He believed that the only one responsible for stopping this man, should be the
one who fed his lunacy.”
Relena stood up, angered by Dourchov’s idiocy.
How could he possibly think that destroying the Earth would gain him anything?
Cautiously Une continued.
“As you know, he then enlisted Heero to assassinate Dourchov.”
“So you know he’s alive?”
“I met with Heero just a few hours ago.”
Relena began to put the pieces together.
“Heero took the opportunity to remove himself from my life.
To pretend that he was dead so I would stop looking for him.”
Une bit her lip, the awful things that had happened to this girl, she didn’t
deserve any of it.
“…and now, my brother is lying near death in his pursuit of retribution.”
“Zechs had been living on JX00019 for months, monitoring the situation.
As soon as he discovered Dourchov was going to declare war, he knew that
assassination was the only route he could take.”
Relena didn’t want to hear anymore.
Her brother, who had tried to restore his life back to some kind of normalcy had
degenerated back into a killer.
“That day, the day I wanted to go to see Duo and Hilde; he stopped me.”
“Yes, they knew that Dourchov was closely observing your movements.
A meeting with a former Gundam Pilot would not have been a good idea.”
Relena shook her head, why didn’t they just tell her.
She would have been able to handle it, why didn’t they trust her with this.
As if reading her mind, Lady Une spoke up.
“They knew you’d try to stop them if you knew Heero was involved.”
Relena sharply turned around, glaring at Lady Une.
“I’d like to see my brother now.”
*****
Stopping outside the door, a doctor approached her.
“Miss Peacecraft?”
Relena just looked up, not caring to correct him.
“Yes.”
“I’m your brothers doctor. Dr. Sieben.”
Relena smiled weakly.
“I’m afraid its not good news.
Your brother has suffered severe internal bleeding, the fall was quite
significant, and the way he landed didn’t help his situation.”
Relena looked at her hands nodding at everything he said.
“I’m afraid it’s just a matter of time.
We’ve stabilized him for now, but his condition is beyond us, it’s a miracle
that he’s alive even now.
We should be grateful that he’s not in any pain.”
Relena didn’t hear anything past, ‘its just a matter of time.’
My brother was going to die.
Is going to die.
“Thank you doctor.”
The doctor squeezed her shoulder.
“Is there anyone you want us to call?”
Relena looked into the small window to her brothers room, a slender figure with
dark navy hair sat deathly still.
“Yes, could you please call Duo and Hilde Maxwell, they’re here in the Sanc
Kingdom…”
Relena fumbled for words.
“Don’t worry Miss Peacecraft, we’ll find them.”
Relena forced a smile.
“Thank you.”
*****
Relena opened the door to her brothers room.
She had been told that he could speak, but it wasn’t a good idea.
She saw Noin, her eyes puffy and reddened.
She sat in an old seat, tattered with the restless souls of those in mourning.
Her hand was fixed with his.
Relena squeezed her eyes shut at the sight of her brother hooked up to numerous
pumps and machines.
“Relena.”
Relena tore her gaze away to look at Noin, her usual calm manner destroyed by
her heart’s deafening requiem.
“He’s been waiting for you.”
Noin lifted herself from the seat, not taking her eyes off the only man she had
ever loved.
Her face showed Relena all the emotion she had kept inside all the time she had
known her.
The feelings she had towards her brother had always been hidden.
But they were there, and she had never seen them so bare or vulnerable as they
were now.
“I’ll be right outside.”
Noin placed her hand on Relena’s shoulder, which she covered with her own.
Relena forced a smile for her, knowing it wouldn’t help.
She waited for the fateful click of the door telling her that they were alone.
She walked slowly to his side, not wanting to disturb him.
His final hours should be in peace.
The tears threatened to overcome her just thinking about it, but she couldn’t
help herself.
“Brother?”
her eyes frantically searched for any sign of movement, any sign that he had
heard her.
“Please, Milliardo.”
Tears coursed down her face, lightly traveling her smooth face.
Nothing.
Only the haunting beep of the monitors surrounding them.
“You can’t die.
You can’t leave me alone.”
She laid her head next to his hand, closing her eyes.
The only family she had was about to be taken from her and there wasn’t a damn
thing she could do.
Silence befell them.
An eternal quiet, to take him away from her.
“Relena.”
Her head shot up, wide eyed she saw his mouth move, his eyes crack open.
“Milliardo?”
She stood up, and took his hand squeezing it.
“I’m sorry Relena.”
She wanted to scream, he couldn’t be apologizing to her, how could he do that
to her?
She couldn’t bare it.
“Please don’t Milliardo, don’t apologize.”
He blinked at her, wanting to hold her.
But he couldn’t even feel his body let alone move it.
He knew the darkness he faced.
“I have to, before it’s too late.”
Relena was about to protest again, but the monitor notably increased its
incessant clamor.
Her heart raced, panic washing over her.
She motioned to get help, until she felt his tight grip on her hand.
“I’m ok.
I’m ok now.”
Relena looked around at the heart monitor, it had returned to normal.
Tears streamed down her face, but she gave no reaction to them.
“Listen to me Relena.
You have to listen to me.”
She didn’t want to argue, this was his dying request, how could she refuse.
“I want to thank you.
Without you the Sanc Kingdom wouldn’t be what it is today, I wanted revenge on
the Alliance for what they did, but you gave me something far surpassing
revenge.
Something I never expected to find.”
Relena placed her other hand over the two already enclosed in each other.
His breathing was shallow.
He was slipping away.
“You gave me redemption.
My hands were too stained with blood, I feared they would never be clean.
But you; you had the courage to accept your fate, no matter where it lead you.
I wish I had your strength… Relena.”
He stopped, closing his eyes.
“Brother… please don’t leave us.
Not yet, not now.”
She shook his hand lightly, when he didn’t respond she resorted to shaking it
harder, bringing him to what seemed to be his last breath.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t the brother I could have been Relena, I’m sorry we
didn’t lead the lives we were intended.”
“Its not your fault, you couldn’t have done anything.
Milliardo, please don’t feel responsible for that.”
He faintly smiled, something that Relena had never seen.
“Goodbye my little sister, we shall meet again.”
Relena’s voice cracked as she spoke.
“Please don’t go, not yet.
I’m not ready to lose you yet.”
"Its a soldiers fate Relena." Relena shook her head, angry at
how cruel her life had become. Milliardo's eyes closed,
his last words barely falling from his lips.
“Tell Lucrezia...
Tell her that I love her.”
Feeling the weight from his mind lift, he sighed.
His last Earthly intent.
The monitors around her, began loudly signaling death.
“Brother?”
Relena whispered in a muted tone grabbed his arm, her nails dug in, but he
didn’t move.
She lifted a hand to her mouth, trying to stop herself from crying out.
He’s dead.
He’s really gone.
“No.”
Silently, she laid her head on his chest.
The monitors steadily increasing intermittent beeping descended into a strident
moan.
Deafening her.
“I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry.”
Her silent tears declined into heart wrenching cries.
Her body shook, as she released her pent up misery.
*****
Outside Duo arrived with Hilde.
There was no need for words.
Duo just ruefully sighed as he saw Noin shake her head, quietly damning God.
He rested his back against the wall, raising his head to look up at the tiled
ceiling.
Relena’s piercing cries echoed out into the hallway.
It was the only indication they needed.
He was gone.
Noin abruptly left, ignoring Wufei’s attempt to stop her.
Hilde felt tears in her own eyes, for the suffering her friend was going
through.
Seeking comfort she wrapped herself in Duo’s arms, he pressed a kiss to her
hair.
Trying, in vain, to relieve some of her pain.
He knew as well as anyone else that Relena would never be the same.
The only family she had ever known had been taken from her, for the third time
in her short life.