The red stained. So he did the first logical thing that came to mind. Scrubbed harder. He watched as the sticky red melted and flocked to the drain. The smell of human flesh surfaced to his nose, making his nerves stand on the ends of sanity; yet, he only added more soap to the mixture.

The sound of the running faucet became distant as he was overwhelmed with the sound of his own breathing, his own thoughts, phrases, words passed by like rain drops.

He was only half aware of the pain that started to grow dimly through out his hands.

His one room apartment with eat in kitchen and bathroom was bare. White walls, a white chair, a white sheet in the middle of the room that awaited him with nightmares in each careful fold and crease.

He closed his eyes as he added a tad bit more soap and decided to scrub a bit harder. Fresh draw of blood slipped down this thumb line to embrace it’s victims red stew that had already made it’s way to the drain a hour ago.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You believe you have attained life? Attained the right to breath? Your irrespirable Heero! Life is cheap you said. And this is what life has paid you. Your youth dedicated to forming a matrix for the world. Peace. Hope for the youngin’s and it’s deprived your future as well. You are, as if now, official student in advanced assignations. You will become better, stronger, smarter, quicker. You will attain nothing, be nothing, create nothing. You will be the shadow in the dark. You created peace, now ensure it."

"By keeping out those who threaten to ruin your creation. No one will train you but you. No one will love you but you. No one will befriend you but the little voice inside your head that so desperately tells you that there is some humanity left inside you."

"Distractions are not allowed. Enjoyment is not allowed. If you want enjoyment you will make a finger painting with the blood of your victims to keep your sanity. You will push your mind to the point where killing is breathing and breathing is killing your concentration"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The water had become cold, due to water heater was running out of warmth. The white sink, fully disguised as a light pinkish that smell of dense blood that was slowly turning mars brown.

Was he just being hammy? He was fascinated as the dark red dripped off his index finger, one drop at a time, until it hit the bottom of the sink and mixed in with the fresh water pouring from it’s captive above.

His heart beat was numb and his mind replayed the scene up once again. It had been perfect planning on his part. Perfect timing, perfect aim, perfect skeptical outputs. He had done his job to the degree where any normal man would see it as suicide. His victims will written on the wall. The will to die.

And he did. Without the will. Compliments to Heero Yuy.

He entered the empty house with unpacked boxes in every corner. His prey was cursing down the narrow hall way, the distant sound of a phone beeping. Heero erased all thoughts, erased all his self-conscious as he took silent steps to his captives death. Erasing all thought only erased him, thus, his victims could not detect him.

Heero moved with grace and skill. Taking out his pocket knife he watched as the door slowly opened with the natural drift. There, the man sat, his cell on his lap and his head in his hands as he cursed all the more.

Heero smiled curtly. "Your time has come." The man’s head jerked up with a kiss of fear imprinted in the black pupils. He stood up and narrowed his eyes.

"Who are you?" Heero didn’t answer. Only watched his victim’s face, to capture his eyes, his look. He knew he was going to die, Heero realized. Somehow the thought had comforted him.

Heero lunged the knife into his prey’s neck, watching as the dark blood crept down and weaved over his fingers. He didn’t bother to bother to retrieve the knife. He swiftly turned towards the entrance and ignored the sickening thud that echoed from behind him He looked down at his hands and saw they were dirty and retreated to his home.

Yes, it had been perfect, Heero decided in his bathroom.

The suds had become red now, their will to face death from their captive.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You will fight without honor. You will fight without code. You will fight without rules. You will win. You will work at a speed that calls for a remote to see an action. You will learn every language so you can tell every victim to rot in hell."

"Trained by instincts, you will foresee the death stroke before you strike. You will condemn nothing and no one. Only kill the name on your to-assassin list. Peace, comes with a price. Price comes with death. You, my friend, are death in the flesh. No show. You are dark, you will learn to be dark, you will learn to like the dark as well as the light. You have no room for self-ego for there is no self. No man. No humanity. You are the keeper of peace behind the curtains. I am the director."

"As if now, you have entered nihilism. The state of nothingness."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He looked down at his hands in disgust. They were bleeding. He sighed, defeatedly. He had scrubbed to hard, and they were still not clean.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

author's notes::

Nihilism means :state of nothingness /if you see me use nil or nihil, those mean, nothing, no value, empty, blah blah blah.

 Um, I'm usually a very happy person with a dark past. Who knows where this came from. Perhaps that rotton donut I ate once as a young kid? I would love some feedback folks. I'm still working on my english, so I wanna know how I'm doing!(I uh, used a dictionary and opened it up to a random paged and pointed at words...that how I got the words hammy and gowk...please, no laughing, I thought they sounded nice)

 Plus, this is dedicated to my bestfriend who is -hopefully- in heaven but knowing the stuff we did as pranks he's probably in the pit fire. But this goes out to him because he read my fanfictions  that I wrote in english and said I was the best writer in the world and no one compared to me. Let's not point out that he didn't speak a word of english but hey it's the thought that counts, right?