No evidence.
Only the pictures in my head remain, and they are proof only of my delusions, nothing more. After all, in this age, if you don't officially exist, you don't exist at all.
And they never did.
I wonder sometimes where they went.
I close my eyes. I wish I could draw the moments I remember, fake the faces as art, change them enough to be unrecognizable, for I lost my death wish years ago... even I would not be safe if I were to draw attention to the fact that they ever existed. But I never could draw decently. I wonder how long it will be before the memories, too, fade, taking the last vestiges of their reality with them.
A blond-haired boy, seeming small and frail, curled up on a giant pillow bright with red patterns, looking up in surprise like a cat suddenly awakened from a nap...
A clown bowing mockingly in a spotlight made of moonshine through a gaping hole torn in the tent roof... his half-mask cracked...
An arched form on a thin rock before a waterfall, bent back and arms spread wide as if trying to grasp the entire sky, or as if worshiping a god...
A lonely figure standing in the yellow cone of radiance formed by a streetlight, head bowed, rain pouring down his face and dripping off the end of his braid...
And the one time I ever saw you smile...
I remember still... but for how much longer?
The years pass, so empty. I forget how long it's been.
How I wish I'd done something mad and happy when I had the chance, how I wish I'd flirted with death more closely still and kissed you. Of all the unknown heroes, you are the one I miss the most. But you were never mine, never could be...
I wonder if you thought the same of me.
I walk in the sunlight and know no fear that death machines will come out of the sky at any moment. Are you happy with your handiwork? Or were you trained so fiercely for battle that peace is something you cannot reconcile yourself to?
Does it seem as lifeless to you as it does to me?
I stop to watch the tiny birds on the grass. I don't feel anything. I haven't for a long time. I have nowhere to go, nothing to do but meaningless games of politics. I stare up at the clouds. On Andemora Colony it's snowing, I heard it on the news. The first snow since the "accident" with the weather system so many years ago.
I always wondered what made you wreck the snow-machine. What could make you angry, you who never showed emotion, tried to make me think you had none.
If you knew how much I think of you, I wonder what you'd do? I wonder if I'd see it again, that brief unguarded expression of surprise, when your eyes soften before you realize it. I loved that look so dearly, felt it was the one piece of you I could claim - that I had touched whatever was left of your heart, and no one else could claim that prize.
But you left anyway...
The sun is shining... but I don't think I've seen a bright sky in years.
"Oi, ojousan!"
I know that voice...
My God... he still has that braid...
"Been a few years, hasn't it?" he asks with a wink. I smile and respond politely but I really have no idea what I'm saying. My thoughts jump into focus and yet go utterly vague all at once. I never really expected the past to visit me again.
Duo notices my distraction and grins. "I've gotta introduce you to someone." He leans to look around the edge of a stone wall. "Hey! Get over here and introduce yourself to the lady! All the work I went to trying to teach you manners, and you act like this?" He turns back to me. "He's shy," he explains with another bright smile.
My heart is pounding in my throat. I know who I will see even before you step into view, glaring daggers at Duo, so tense even I can see you moving stiffly. You wait, like a sullen child expecting to be slapped. I walk forward, slowly, trying to get used to your new-old face.
"I thought maybe it was time for you to get reacquainted," Duo chatters on behind me. He hasn't changed. Neither have you.
Good.
I fling my arms around you and kiss you with all the abandon I've been wasting all these years. And I get that startled look I so adore before we both crash to the ground, me refusing to let go of your mouth. I only pull back when I start getting lightheaded.
Duo is laughing hysterically, collapsed on the grass holding his sides. "Good one--" he gasps. "Never thought I'd see him so floored!"
"I'll kill you both," you threaten, trying to get up, but I'm still on top of you and I don't intend to move yet. I smile triumphantly and kiss you again.
The world seems much brighter than it did ten minutes ago, somehow...