Quatre knocked on Duo's door.

"Damn it!"  Duo muttered from inside.

"Duo?" Quatre asked, putting a hand on the doorknob and speaking through the wall.  "Have you seen Heero?"

The door was unlocked.  He walked in to see Duo straighten from the ground and wipe sweat from his face.  "He's here," Duo said quietly, putting his hands on his hips and sighing.   He stepped aside, crossing his arms.  "I hope you weren't looking for him to do any missions, though."

"Oh my God," Quatre said as he shut the door behind him.

Heero was certainly there, physically anyway.  He was passed out on the floor, looking limp and death-like, but he was there.  His eyes were shadowed, his skin sagging and discolored.  An empty bottle lay discarded on floor, the contents unlabeled.  There were shards of glass about too, from other bottles broken.  The room smelled like alcohol.  Heero's face was covered with bruises.

"He was like that when I got back here late this morning," Duo said worriedly.  "I don't know how much he drank, but I've never seen him like this.  He doesn't even drink."

"Uh," Quatre stammered. "I don't get it.  What happened?"

"He had a fight with Damion last night," Duo said, but Quatre could see he was holding something back, perhaps many things.  "That's what the bruises are from.  He thinks he's lost Relena and that she hates him.  I thought he'd be okay when I went out this morning, but I guess not."

"Well," Quatre said uncertainly.  He wasn't really sure what to say, or what to do.

"Don't worry," Duo said, forcing a smile.  "I'll take care of him.  He probably just drank a little too much.  He'll snap out of it in a few hours.  Can you keep it a secret, though?  I don't really think he wants everyone to find out about this."

Quatre looked at Heero's still form uncertainly.  He looked strangely heavy and deathly ill, scarily so.  But he nodded anyway.  "All right," he said slowly.  "I'll go.  Just, talk to him or something, won't you, Duo?  He hasn't been himself lately and it's affecting everybody."  It was disturbing seeing Heero in this condition.  He was supposed to be the strong one.

"I'll try," Duo said, crouching over Heero.  "But it might take some time.  You want to help me get him to the couch?"

"Sure," Quatre whispered.

Relena wasn't going to go to any of her morning meetings that day, but Terese and Manny together persuaded her that if Damion really didn't want this to be publicly known, they would have to keep up appearances.   Manny had called a personal doctor last night to do what he could for Damion and paid him to keep quiet about it.  The doctor hadn't known who Damion was, thankfully, and the bruises and welts on his face helped, but Relena had to hide while the doctor was there.  Almost everyone knew her face.  The doctor assured Manny that Damion would recover, that though his wound was serious, now that it was stitched up, he wasn't in any great danger.

The assurance only made Relena feel a little better.  All through her meetings she felt like crying.

Heero, how could you do this?

She wondered if she was more upset at Heero for damaging Damion or for damaging himself.  He had almost destroyed her perception of him, and it was a breathless shock to discover that she had loved him up to that point.  But with one mad action, he simultaneously stabbed her love for him as he had Damion.  The man she thought so strong, so kind, had knifed an equally kind and wonderful man for no reason.  Damion was innocent in all of this.  Now Relena wasn't sure what she felt.  Anxiety mostly, and anger, but sorrow was keenest.  She felt worse now than she ever had in her life.  Why had Heero done such a horrible thing?  Because he was jealous?  He had no right to be!  Did she still love him, like him even, or was it too early to tell?

And what of Damion?  Something was growing between them, she knew, and if he was not Heero, he was still wonderful.  He didn't deserve to be caught in the cross fire.  If she'd known this would happen...  but how could she have known?  Heero had seemed so entirely disinterested in her, so totally unwilling to express anything.  She had felt it legitimately safe to move on.  How could she have known this would happen?  And now she was caught.  And there didn't seem to be any good decisions.

She walked home around noon, feeling like death, unable even to fake a smile, but she hurried all the same.  She wanted to see Damion, to make sure he was okay, to learn his mind and heart on what had happened and what it meant.

He was still lying on the couch when she entered, quietly shutting the door behind her.  He looked terrible and the sight brought new tears to her eyes.  He was stripped to the waist, bandages wrapped around his stomach, bulging on one side where Heero had stabbed him.  His face and chest were covered with bruises, ugly and purple welts on his cheeks, his eyes, his jaw.

Manny sat in a chair behind his head, watching him sleep.  Manny had stayed up all night with him, watching, talking softly when Damion awoke for short spells.  Terese relieved him in the early hours, insisting he sleep some, but as soon as the sun rose over the hills, Manny was awake again, guarding Damion's rest.  Terese was not there now.  Relena supposed she was either sleeping or working, probably sleeping.

Manny looked up when she came in.  "I think he's better," he said softly, with a small smile.  "He was awake earlier."

Biting her lip, Relena knelt beside him and put a hand to his forehead.  He had developed a fever in the night, possibly from fighting in the rain and possibly from the wound in his side and the loss of blood.  Whatever it had been from, it had apparently broken.

To her amazement, his eyes fluttered open when she touched him.  They really did remind her of the morning, or of rain and light clouds, but whatever their color, love lingered in them now.  That was new.  It caught her off guard.

"How do you feel?" Relena asked, smoothing his hair back.

"Weak," he said with a smile.  "But I think I'll be up and about in a little bit, at least to eat.  I'm famished."

She returned his smile.  "I'm glad.  Any other feelings?"

He touched the bandages around his middle hesitantly.  "What did you say to him?" he whispered.  "When you ran out last night?"

"That I hate him," she said with a quiver in her voice, and tears sprang to her eyes.  He stared at her with love and concern, half sitting up to hold her.  "Please don't," she cried.  "You don't need to comfort me.  Please just rest."

"I'm fine," Damion said, and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, stroking her hair as she sobbed. "Honestly.  I won't be able to run races, not on foot anyway, but I'm really all right.  Do you mean that, what you said to him?"

She couldn't stop crying.  "I don't know," she said.  "How do you feel?"

"Better all around," Damion said.  "I don't hate him.  I don't even know him.  I'm a little pissed off, but I'm more concerned about you.  There was something, wasn't there?   Between you?"

Relena swallowed.  "Doesn't matter," she gulped.  "Don't worry about it.  It doesn't have anything to do with you and he's gone now.  Please lay back down."  He obeyed, but there was something in his eyes that spoke of deep thoughts, disturbing thoughts.  "Please forget about it," she begged.  He looked at her, read the care on her face, and nodded, closing his eyes.  "I'll make you something to eat," she said.  "But rest for now."

"Thank you," Damion said.  "For everything.  You too, Manny.  How long have you been there?"

"Practically all night!"  Terese's voice came brightly from the door.  She had two grocery bags, one wrapped in either arm.  "I tried to get him to go to bed, but he was right back down here after three hours or so."  She smiled at Manny over her groceries.

Manny flushed and shrugged, looking uncomfortable.  "Your lady mother would kill me if I let anything happen to you, my Lord," he said unsteadily.

Damion laughed weakly.  "Me too.  And I don't consider this gathering public, so drop the formalities.  I'm a sick, injured man.  I can't handle it today."

Manny grinned.  "Can I do anything for you, Damion?"

"Can I sit up?" Damion asked, pressing a hand to his side.  "I mean, am I allowed to?"

Manny shrugged, elbows on his knees.  "Give it a try.  The doctor put quite a few stitches in you and you don't seem to be feverish anymore.  I'd say you're recovering."

"Then food and a little movement will do you good," Terese said cheerily.  "But Relena's right about resting too."

Damion sat up slowly, wincing a little.  He saw his face in the mirror above the mantel and laughed.  "Well, looks like I'll be indoors for awhile anyway.  It can't be found out that the prince of Taravren got in a brawl, for whatever reason."

Relena pulled the milk out of the refrigerator, but she stopped, caught in thought.  That meant he would be in her house for a few days, unless they could sneak him back to his own rooms, but she suddenly realized she didn't want him to go.

She closed her eyes, feeling suddenly sick to her stomach.  Her emotions were all aflutter.  She hadn't meant for this to happen.  Did she love Heero or hate him?  Did she love Damion or merely like him?  She felt horrible and at fault, but for the life of her she could not pinpoint when she had done something wrong.

Heero opened his eyes to a splitting headache.  He thrown up so many times he didn't remember his last meal.  He had fallen asleep after that for a little while, but he felt worse now.  He felt dizzy and ill and his head hurt so much he could hardly think straight.  But it was a fitting punishment.

"Hey, glad to see you're back,"  Duo grinned, kneeling in front of him.

Heero clutched at the blankets and turned his head.  "Thanks," he said.

"Feel like hell, don't ya?"  Duo said.  "Don't worry.  It will pass."

"I don't want it to pass," Heero said, leaning his head back and gulping in air.  "I want to be in pain."

Duo swore.  "Come on, Heero, don't talk like this.  It isn't like you and it's not going to make things any better."

"I wish I had died in the war," Heero seethed, and he felt his eyes grow hot and wet with tears.  "I wish I had stabbed myself on that hill!  I'm a monster,"  he turned away, images flashing through his head.

He could see it so clearly now.  The jealousy in his heart when he recognized Damion's horse.  He had reacted without thinking.  He wanted to land the first punch.  Damion had fought well, and it made him feel better for awhile, until words were spoken.  Damion had said he only wanted to sleep with Relena, and for a second, Heero saw truth in it.  He saw why everyone would think that.  The way he behaved, his fevered head.  He remembered how he had thought of her recently, how he felt when he was around her.   When he thought of himself with her, he forgot the girl that risked so much for him, and the realization made him sick.  It wasn't true, he had said it was not.  He knew there was so much more to it, that the love he had for her was real, but the way he had acted lately was not entirely true to that pure feeling, and the thought that Damion was right, that he had won, enraged him to madness.  He hadn't known he was stabbing him until he felt the blood running down his hand and looked into his eyes.

Relena had every reason to hate him now.  But the way she looked in the rain, so desperate, so bold.  He thought he was going to melt into her eyes the way she looked at him.  She made him forget what he had just done.  He had moved close to her before he knew it.  When he touched her face, there were sparks in his fingers and the blue mist in her eyes cooled his fevered head.  But the truth shattered everything. He had just stabbed an innocent man.  And Relena hadn't heard him pronounce his love for her.  It had taken so much courage and she hadn't heard, but now that he thought about it, he was almost glad.  She might have hated him more, if she had heard those words from him right after what he had just done, as if saying them, or even feeling them, made it okay.

"Heero," Duo said haltingly.  "Do you love Relena?  You said you did last night."

Heero felt numb.  It was so simple.  "I am a weapon," he said coldly, and felt his eyes go dry.  "A gun.  A sword.  These things do not have hearts with which to love, and they can be loved in return only by mistake."

He rose from the couch and stood up, crossing the room unsteadily.

"Heero," Duo began.

"No," Heero said.  "If I loved her last night, I must stop now.  I have strayed from my true nature.  I've been...pathetically indulgent, and I'm sorry.  Where is my gun?"

"What do you need one for?" Duo asked wearily.

"I'm going to discover the cause of a rebellion in Taravren," Heero said coldly.  "And then I'm going to stop it.  It's the least I can do to make up for my mistake.  Do you want to help?"

Duo nodded.  "We should get Trowa and Quatre too."

Heero nodded and walked upstairs to find a shower and a change of clothes.  He felt more himself already.   All he had to do was forget her.  That would make things right.

Dorothy leaned over the balcony, watching Miss Relena's quarters.  She had been sitting here last night when the most curious thing happened.  She'd seen Prince Damion Ravineere ride in and not come back out...all night.  Very peculiar indeed.  She wondered what it meant exactly, but even this much would start a very believable rumor.  She just had to whisper it in the right ears.

"No, Clara," Dorothy said into the phone,  "I don't think you have anything more to worry about.  I believe I have the solution for both of us."

She smiled as she hung up.  It was such a pretty tangle, but she and Clara had taught each other much when Clara came to stay with her family for so many years when they were children.

Dorothy rested her chin in her gloved hand.  "Oh, Heero," she said.  "You used to be so strong, so attractive.  And you must be that way again before I will have you, if only for a little while."

She smiled and withdrew from the balcony, drawing the white curtains.  It was quite the problem.  Clara wanted Relena out of Damion's way and Dorothy wanted Relena out of Heero's.  And yet she had no intention of hurting Miss Relena herself.  She also wanted everything Clara had promised if she succeeded, and that meant catering to Clara Veron's desire as well.

But this way, it would be absolutely perfect.

Yea, a plot twist.  I'm famous for those.  Oh, we're over the half-way point, perhaps quite a bit over.  I can't be sure and this chapter is rather short, but there are at least a few more chapters...obviously.   Anyway, let me know how you think this is progressing.

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