Heero sat in the cockpit of the Wing Zero and leaned back with his eyes open, watching the screen on the ceiling.  He was running a training program through the computer, firing at targets with a hand-held switch like a computer game.  Well, it was a computer game, more or less, but he couldn't think of what else to do.  He wanted to battle more now than he ever had in his life, only he didn't want to hurt anyone.  He never wanted to hurt anyone again.  He was sick of death and destruction and the endless stream of hatred and thoughtlessness.  That was over now.  She had ended it.  What he really wanted, what he needed, was a domestic life, to reenter the world as it was meant to be.

He spasmed with something like tears without the tears.  Dry crying.  He wanted to spend that life with Relena.  He wanted her to know him fully and understand him.  He thought she had understood some.  Maybe.  But he wanted more.  He wanted her hands to touch him, his face, his body, and he wanted to look deeply into her eyes, to see the care and worry that had once rendered his heart and tell her how much that meant to him, what she meant to him.  But she had chosen someone else now, and he found himself slipping back into old habits.

He had to prove himself somehow, that he was a better man than Damion, better for Relena.  He had to do... something, but his mind was so clouded with dark thoughts of Damion holding Relena in his place that he couldn't think straight.

Alone in his room, Damion had cleared all the furniture out of his room and stripped to a gray sweatpants and a white tank, revealing muscles and a build usually hidden by nice jackets and dress shirts.  He was sweating from head to toe, barefoot, his hands powdered with white chalk and wrapped in tape.  The quarterstaff in his hands blurred as he spun it over locked wrists and between nible fingers.  The punching bag swung before him and the ends of the staff swatted it with the power to split skulls.  And it hit rapidly and repeatedly.  Had that punching bag been a man, he would have been crippled and practically unrecognizeable by now.  He had only been practicing with the quarterstaff for only a few minutes.

He had been training since daybreak, blowing off steam, restless and unable to calm himself.  He had already bloodied his knuckes with punches alone, had wrapped and bandaged them and then practiced sword forms for another two hours.  He had tried throwing daggers, but there wasn't enough energy in it too satisfy him.  He needed something with less concentration and more hitting involved.  The quarterstaff had always been a favorite weapon, though practically useless in this day in age.

He had been trained in fighting since he was little.  He didn't learn it to be violent.  He learned it to protect himself and learn discipline.  Except in training, he'd only really been in a few fights, and two of those were with Manny.  There had been a brawl with another trainee when he was thirteen, the son of a marquise, and he had once had to defend himself or others once or twice besides, but little more.  He was no soldier, and though maybe he had the skills to be something of the sort, he never learned to pilot a mobile suit.  Not that he would be allowed to fight anyway, but it grated now.

He swore loudly and colorfully, throwing his quarterstaff to the floor and throwing himself at the punching bag with hands and feet again.

"Why does it have to feel like this!" he seethed to no one.  "I've done nothing wrong!  Damn it!"  He gave the bag one last punch and walked away, feeling like hell and having nothing to do.  He sat on a stool in the corner with his elbows on his knees and hung his head.

The early morning was passing away and it was time to let his mood pass with it.  He needed to clear his name with the Preventors somehow, talk to his father, pay for any damages held against Manny for the incident yesterday and apologize.  He felt horrible about the whole day yesterday, except the parts when he was alone with Relena.  She had been understanding when he called her later to apologize, and seemed appalled at what happened between Duo and Manny.  He hadn't told her about his race with Heero, or even asked about him.  He didn't want to do that over the phone.  Actually, he didn't want to do it at all, but he felt he had a right to know what was going on so he could make good decisions.  He thought he could guess some of it.

Obviously Heero Yuy and Relena had had something in the past, a relationship or a romance or something.  And obviously Heero at least was still possessive of her.  Damion would expect someone as kind as Relena to still care for an old flame, but what happened yesterday boggled his mind.  The guy has openly challenged him, without words or explanation, only with a vicious and obvious hate.  And Damion was still pissed about that because he felt he was being treated unfairly.  Heero should be dealing with Relena, not with him.  The only thing he could think of was that Heero knew Relena was not interested, and turned on the new guy as a last resort.  If that was the case, Damion didn't respect that, but he wanted to get the whole story before he made any conclusions and decided how to deal with this thing.

All he knew for sure was that he generally liked Relena and wasn't going to give up on her just because it maddened some other guy, even if he was a gundam pilot.

Feeling somewhat calmed, he took a shower and changed his clothes.  Realizing he should probably wear gloves to hide the split skin on his hands, he dressed nicely.  He had hoped to be done with even semi-formal clothes for the rest of his stay here, but since he had to apologize to numerous people, he supposed he might as well look his best.  He hoped to avoid Heero, though, at least until he knew more of what was going on.

Duo watched Quatre pour tea in some amusement.  That his comrade and fellow gundam pilot drank more tea than the British was entirely different from what he would have expected if he'd known he was going to become friends with these guys.

"So did Heero say anything?"  Quatre asked as Duo took his tea cup and tried it.  Ugh...bitter.  It needed at least a few spoonfuls of sugar.

"Nah.  He asked if I was all right and then ran away like he always does.  He's still stressin' over that Damion guy I think."

Quatre's eyes grew soft and thoughtful.  "Duo, do you think Heero meant what he said, about only hanging around on Earth to keep an eye on Relena?"

Duo took another sip of tea.  It was too hot too.  "Nah.  He's full of shit."

Quatre blinked and set down his teacup.  "Then why doesn't he say something?  I mean, if Relena likes him and he likes her..."

"Oh, he more than just likes her," Duo said confidently.  "Have you seen the way his face get all weird when he looks at her?  But she's with Damion now, so I guess we'll never know." He coughed.  "I'm sorry, Quatre, but  I need sugar if I'm going to drink tea."

"I have honey," Quatre offered, fishing a bottle out of a drawer behind him and handing it over.

"Good enough," Duo said, accepting it.  He squeezed so much honey into the cup, Quatre's eyes nearly popped out of his head.

There was a knock on the door.

"Come in," Duo said cheerily, setting the honey back on the table.  The door creaked opened and Duo saw Quatre start in surprise, half standing from his chair.  "Wha...?" Duo began, turning around.

"Damion," Quatre said, sitting back down.  "I'm Quatre Raberba Winner.  We sort of met yesterday.  This is Duo Maxwell."

Duo blinked.  Prince Damion didn't look all that magnificent.  He was good-looking, sure, and had powerful gray eyes, but though his clothes were nice, Duo didn't see what all the fuss was about.  His statement was almost contrite.  Duo grinned, feeling confidence rather than resentment.

Damion nodded politely to Quatre and turned to Duo.  "I wanted to apologize for what happened yesterday."

Well, well, he was nice.  Duo shrugged.  "Yeah, me too, I guess.  I was just being my usual irresponsible self again.  I guess I thought your servant wouldn't like you or something.  Just so you know, I don't really believe any of those things I said.  I was just finishing for information."

"Manny will be glad to hear that," Damion said.  "I've already talked to Wufei and Lady Une about it too.  They've promised not to release any more unconclusive information on me until we can get the problem locked down."

"Do you mind my asking what was up with those rumors?" Duo asked.  "Pretty serious charges."

"For the treason, I don't know.  Anybody can spread a rumor like that."

"And about mistreating a girl?"  Duo pressed.  "Clara Veron?"

"If you consider not marrying her mistreating her, than I suppose," Damion replied wryly.

Duo choked on his tea.  "Were you ever in a relationship with this girl?"

"No.  I've escorted her to a few formal functions, but no, there's never been anything between us."

Quatre stared.  "Who do you think would have started such a rumor, then?"

"I suspect she did," Damion replied.  "Or one of her maids or friends.  It's hard to say.  She's very ambitious."

"Huh," Duo said.  "Well, then I guess I'm in the wrong.  You can tell Manny that I'm sorry too."

Damion nodded.  "I will.  Are you okay?  Manny hits pretty hard."

"I'll survive.  I think my pride was most damaged," Duo lamented.

Damion chuckled, and the smile remained.  "If it makes you feel any better, Manny's a champion boxer.  He's won a few medals.  And he's knocked me down before too."

Duo felt lighter already.  "It does indeed! I'll bet I can outsoldier him!"

"Probably," Damion said, smiling.

"Where you in the war, Damion?" Quatre asked suddenly.

Damion's eyes shifted.  "No.  I was forcibly kept out of it.  I had bodyguards 24-7.  I did do some serious comm work toward the end to save the Earth.  Everybody united for that, but I was never in any battles."

Quatre looked down at the table.  "I wasn't supposed to fight," he said.  "Like you, I was an heir.  Do you regret not fighting?"

Damion's brows lowered in concentration.  "I don't know," he said at last.  "I wanted to fight, and I feel like I missed out on something, but I was only fourteen at the time." He frowned and shook his head.  "But then, you Gundam Pilots were only what, fifteen?  I suppose in that case I'm ashamed for not fighting."

"No," Duo said thoughtfully.  "You've got responsibilities.  I had nothing to lose but my life and I didn't care about that."

"But Quatre fought," Damion said.  "He has responsibilities."

Quatre smiled weakly.  "I was disinherited.  And I lost everyone closest to me.  Besides, I had the Maguanac to protect me when I needed them.  And I happened to live where a gundam was being built.  It's too hard to say what I would have done otherwise."

Damion nodded, but then glanced at them sharply.  "What about Heero?"

Duo snorted, throwing up his hands.  "What about Heero?"

"He hates me," Damion said calmly.

"Heero hates everybody," Duo drawled.  "He doesn't trust anyone and he's totally anti-social."

Damion's eyes harded.  "Was there something between Heero and Relena I should know about?"

Duo put his hands behind his head and scrunched up his face.  He figured he should avoid assumptions and just give the facts he knew for sure.  Presumption had certainly caused him enough problems yesterday!   "Not really.  I mean, kinda, yeah.
I think he's totally stuck on her, but no, nothing I know about has actually happened between them." He shurgged and grinned, "Except promising to destroy her, but she..."

"Duo!" Quatre hissed in warning.  Damion's eyes had flared with fire.

Duo winced.  "It's not really like that," he said hastily.  "Heero's a great soldier.  The best.  And that was long time ago, before they knew each other and..."

"Duo, drop it!"  Quatre said.  He looked up at Damion softly and smiled.  "Heero's very dedicated and he's never failed a mission, but he couldn't kill Relena, even when it seemed necessary."

"And that's it?" Damion said in obvious surprise.  "That's their relationship?"

Duo and Quatre exchanged a look.  "Well, there's more to it, I guess," Duo said lamely.

"But they were never actually together?" Damion pressed.

"No," Quatre said.  "I don't think so.  Heero looks out for her now and again, but I guess not."

"He looks out for her?" Damion repeated.  "After saying he was going to kill her?"

Duo and Quatre shrugged and nodded.

Damion tapped his fingers against the wall.  "And that Mariemaia incident, when Heero Yuy blew up the compound she and Mariemaia were both in?  Was he protecting her then?"

Duo looked down and scratched his head.  "Yeah, well..."  He wanted to defend Heero, but he wasn't sure what to say.

"No, it's okay, I get it," Damion said, rubbing a hand through his hair.  "He doesn't want to kill her but he's dedicated to the mission?"

"In a nutshell," Quatre said sadly.  "But," he added.  "No one really knows how he feels.  I mean, there may have been more we don't know about.  He's not the most readable guy.  And he really is kind."

"And I still say he's stuck on her," Duo said firmly, crossing his arms.  "Because he sticks around all the time if for no other reason."

"Thanks," Damion said, turning to leave.  "And again, I'm sorry for yesterday."

"What are you going to do?" Quatre asked.  "About Heero, I mean."

Damion paused.  "Nothing.  As long as he doesn't outright attack me, I don't see what right I have to do anything.  But do you think it's fair?  I mean, if there's nothing between him and the girl and I like her, is it okay for me to try?"

Duo shrugged uncomfortably.  "Heero's my friend," he said at last.  "And I would like to say 'leave Relena for Heero,' but I guess that would be something Heero should discuss with Relena, not you.  And you seem to be a nice guy, so I don't know.  I mean, as long as you don't have bad intentions..."

Damion shook his head, holding onto the doorframe.  "No.  I just like her a lot.  I'm just trying to be happy and I want her to be happy and if we can do that together, so much the better."

"Everybody has the right to fall in love," Quatre said quietly.  "But maybe you should talk to Relena.  Me and Duo, we don't really know anything."

Damion lowered his head.  "How well do you know Relena?"

"I don't really know her much at all," Duo said.  "She always seemed a little weird to me."

"I spent some time with her when I was defending this kingdom," Quatre said.  "Heero was here too."

"Do you think I should just ask her flat out what's going on?"  Damion asked.  "Or does that sound harsh?  Because I don't want to sound like I'm blaming either of them.  I just want to know what's going on so I can deal with it."

"Is something going on?" Duo asked, perking up.  "Did you guys have a fight or something?"

"Not exactly.  We had a race on the way here yesterday.  I won.  He hates my guts.  Should I worry about it?"

Duo was worried, but he didn't dare let on.  Who knew what Heero would do?  Did he really like Relena, or was he just bummed seeing her with someone else?  It was so hard to tell with him, and he wouldn't talk about it with anyone.  He waved a hand in the air.  "I'd be careful," he said at last.  "But Heero's really not that vicious, not even on the battlefield.  He's usually more cold than anything else."

"He's kind," Quatre said softly.  "But try to stay out of his way for awhile, just in case."

Damion shifted his gaze between them uncertainly.  "Kind, but cold?  Not vicious, but stay out of his way?"

Duo tapped the table.  "Yeah," he said.

Damion nodded.  "All right.  All right.  I'll try and avoid him for today, but I'm not giving up on Relena.   She's in meetings all day today, but I plan on seeing her late tonight.  Maybe we can talk about it and she can enlighten me.  I won't say I'm not angry at your friend.  I don't feel I deserve his contempt.  I do feel I have a right to like an unclaimed girl.  If he has a problem with that, he should talk to her, not me.  So if you see him, tell him to stay out of my way too.  If I see him before I understand this, I might..."  He shook his head and Duo could see the anger in his eyes. "Just tell him to avoid me too."  

And then he was gone.

Duo leaned back in his chair and scowled.  "Well, this is a disaster waiting to happen.  They're both stubborn as all hell."

Quatre but his chin in his folded hands.  "Maybe.  I still think Heero has more control than all that.  And he really is a good person.  And Damion is nicer than I thought."

Duo just shook his head.  He remembered the fiery rage he had seen in Heero's eyes yesterday, and pure unadulterated hate and struggle.  Heero had found himself a new enemy.   And he had something to fight for.  "I hope you're right, Quatre," he said quietly.  "I hope you're right."

Late in the day, Relena looked at her watch as she packed up her materials from her third meeting and headed out the door for her fourth.  It was a long day, but a fruitful one, and it brought a healthy, independent glow to her cheeks.

Someone grabbed her wrist as she turned at the door.

She stopped in surprise, turning back around.  Her heart seemed to jump into her mouth.  "Heero," she said, barely breathing.  He looked haunted, dark and haunted, but still darkly beautiful.  What was wrong with him?  "What is it, Heero?" she asked, trying to get a better look at his face.  "What?"

"I," he began, and seemed to struggle with something.  "Yesterday," he said, as if starting a new topic, and his eyes concentrated on her face.

"Yeah," she said, trying to help him say whatever it was he wanted to say.  "That was a bad scene.  Is Duo all right?"

Heero jerked his head dismissively.  "He's fine," he said harshly.  "I meant you and Damion..."
 
Suddenly, it dawned on Relena.  She ran through her head that crazy scene on the hill.  The curt words.  The glares exchanged, Heero aggressive, Damion defensive.  She had wondered why he ever came, but now it seemed so clear.  So terribly clear.

Her eyes narrowed and she wrenched her wrist away.  "Heero, I don't know what is going through your head exactly, but you can't do this.  You can't kiss me and not explain and then wait two or three years and be just horrible when another guy likes me!"

Heero squeezed his eyes shut when she mentioned the kiss.  She hadn't before.  She had never been really sure what the hell it was.  She had thought it was something once...

"Is this some sort of game to you?" she demanded.  "See how long you can string Relena out?  Do you have any idea how long I waited for you?  And then you kiss me and act act like it never happened!  I'm tired of it, Heero."  She pushed passed him, too angry thinking about it to remember how much she really loved him, even still.  Then she whirled around again. "As for Damion, he's perfectly wonderful and he takes care of me.  And I like him, so just deal with it."  She wished she hadn't turned.  The statement on his face reminded her of a broken mirror, and it stuck in her mind.

She fled, slipping into the next conference room full of emotions she couldn't sort out.  She wanted to make things better, to hold him, but she did like Damion, and he liked her and he didn't jerk her around like Heero did.  None of this was fair to him.  And he was more her type, wasn't he?  Similiar backround, good family, politically minded, kind, thoughtful...  And he wasn't weak.  She had seen him ride and he was built and she knew he could fight.  And he could probably do a hundred other things Heero couldn't!  She had promised herself she was going to get over Heero.

So why did she feel so wretched?