Author’s Note: This one took me forever to get done. Many, many thanks to The Black Rose for getting me unstuck; Heero’s part was all her. Rose is a goddess! <Bows in gratitude> The following is my take on what, if anything, some of our favorite characters remember about their early childhoods.

Pairings: None explicit, HxR if you want to look hard enough.

Once Upon A December

A Fic By Vi

"Papa! Papa!" Relena could hear the little girl’s screams as if they were in her head, but she couldn’t see her anywhere. All around her hungry flames ate their way up walls, eating at wood and fabric alike, claiming rich tapestries and heavy curtains as it rushed to illuminate the crumbling building. "Papa! Where are you, papa?" The screams were louder now, more frantic. She was trying desperately to move, to go rescue the child, but her legs wouldn’t go and her head wouldn’t turn, and the fire kept getting closer and closer…Relena looked down at the floor, trying to determine the source of her problems, but all she saw were her own two legs and dark flickering shadows on the floor. "I can’t find you, papa! Where are you?" Looking closer, the dark shadows didn’t flicker so much, and took on a reddish tone…and Relena realized with a strange familiar terror that she was staring at puddles of blood…and there was no little girl, just her and her own frightened cries…

"PAPA!"

Relena Darlian woke with a shudder, feeling cold sweat on her brow and back. The flames were gone, replaced by the vanilla-blandness of her dorm room. Still shaking with emotion, she looked at her clock-three oh-two. Right on schedule. The dream had woken her up every night for the past week, but it wasn’t any less frightening than the first time she’d had it. Worst of all, she didn’t know where it had come from or what had triggered it. There wasn’t a scene like her dream in any movies that she could recall, nothing in her books that could have planted such a horrific idea in her head. Taking a deep breath, she got out of bed. Even if she could sleep, she was supposed to be ready for breakfast by five thirty so she could be at the stables by six. Dragging her sleep deprived body to her desk, Relena pulled her books out of her schoolbag. Might as well work on that paper due for history class. Bleary eyed, she stared at the assignment sheet and her notations. "Discuss briefly the rise and fall of the Sanc Kingdom, and how its’ policies of absolute pacifism have affected our world today."

[Dancing bears, painted wings,
Things I almost remember]

One of the pictures in her history book made her look twice. It was a picture from inside the Peacecraft estates before they’d been razed and vandalized. Those wall hangings…Relena could almost swear those had been the same ones from her dream, the tapestries she had watched shrivel and wilt with fire. ‘Don’t be crazy,’ she admonished herself. ‘You’ve been looking at these pictures every day for a week. Of course stuff from them is going to show up in your dreams.’ But something else bothered her, something she couldn’t quite recall that just wouldn’t free itself from the corners of her mind…

[And the song someone sings
Once upon a December]

Trowa Barton didn’t blink as the knives sliced through the air and buried themselves in the wood that surrounded his standing form. One after another, they hit next to his head, under his arms, around his legs. Catherine Bloom, knife thrower extrordinaire, sent the razor sharp daggers to their target with perfect accuracy every time. Finally, though, she signaled for him to step down.

"I’m going to take a break," she said, wiping beads of sweat off her forehead. "D’you want something to drink?" He nodded, and Catherine walked off towards the small trailer they shared. "It’ll be ready in a minute. I’m going to make some iced tea."

Even though he had only been with the circus for a few weeks, Catherine had warmed to him quickly. Though apparently not in a romantic way; Trowa had been prepared to fend off unwanted advances, but the only signs of affection she’d shown him so far had been almost maternal in fashion. Occasionally she flirted with him, but after watching her flirt with the circus manager and several of the male performers in the same manner, Trowa determined that flirting was just Catherine’s primary form of communication with men. Still, her attentions were unsettling, and there had been many a time when he’d responded to her sharply when she got a little too friendly. Not that she seemed to notice or care. If anything, his frosty demeanor made her more determined to crack his shell. Finally though, they were coming to a comfortable balance; Trowa no longer bit her head off for being chatty, and Catherine understood Trowa’s need for alone time, and now things were rather pleasant between them. Sometimes he even found himself seeking out Catherine’s company. He found the feelings she stirred in him quite interesting. They were feelings of comfort and familiarity, and something he couldn’t quite name. Something that haunted him when he was on the edge of sleep…

[Someone holds me safe and warm
Horses prance through a silver storm]

"Trowa?" Catherine’s voice cut through his thoughts. He looked up to see her walking towards him holding a tray with glasses and a sugar bowl in one hand, and a pitcher full of iced tea in the other. "Trowa, the tea’s ready. You can add your own sugar." Carefully she set the tray down, and handed him a glass. "Did I interrupt your daydream? Do you want me to go back to the trailer?" He shook his head no as he filled his glass with the amber liquid. She smiled, and Trowa felt the rush of emotion rise in him again.

[Figures dancing gracefully
Across my memory]

School was a joke. At least, that was the conclusion Heero had come to after attending his second full day of classes. How could Earth possibly hope to raise capable adults when the schools were so inadequate? Thank god he wasn’t really here to learn. He was here for the girl.

Relena Darlian. The very name made him grit his teeth in frustration. She had recognized him, he was sure of it. Since she had been alone on the beach, he had thought perhaps she wouldn’t have any friends, but the opposite was true-she was never alone in school. That was unfortunate. Getting rid of her was going to be more difficult than he’d anticipated. Not only was she popular, she seemed to want to befriend him, and that would draw unnecessary attention towards him. Already he had caused a scene in front of her entourage. She had given him that damned invitation…

Deep down, he knew ripping up the invitation had been a mistake. Ten minutes after he’d done it, his head was filled with countless other things he could have done. But standing there, looking into her earnest ocean blue eyes, he had been overcome with…something. He wasn’t sure what to call it. It wasn’t quite fear, but it hit him right in the pit of the stomach and jarred loose an image in his head-

-he was young, and hungry, and they had left him at the gate with the instructions that he was not to contact them until he had confirmed the target, and that little blond girl wouldn’t stop staring at him with her huge blue eyes-

-and he was suddenly filled with fury. He wasn’t a charity case.

[Far away, long ago
Glowing dim as an ember]

Heero looked out the window of his dorm room. It was still light out, and he could see the burgundy clad figures of students as they walked around the campus. Their interactions interested him-he was unfamiliar with the way other young people socialized. Two caught his attention in particular, a boy and a girl about his age. The girl was behaving rather strangely, looking at the boy through her eyelashes and giggling quite a bit. But what Heero really thought strange was the way the boy responded, standing straighter and focusing all his attentions on the girl. For just a moment, he wondered what it might be like if Relena were to look at him that way, and the feeling he got when she gave him the invitation twisted his insides up again. What would it be like?

[Things my heart used to know
Once upon a December]

"Papa!" Relena sat bolt upright in bed. After looking around her room wildly, she squeezed her eyes shut and collapsed back onto the pillows. "This is crazy," she said to no one. She was getting death threats from strange boys that fell out of the sky, and all she could dream about was a burning building? Oh well. Her birthday party was coming up, that would be sure to get her mind off this horrible nightmare. And seeing her father again would certainly get rid of that part of the dream.

[Someone holds me safe and warm
Horses prance through a silver storm
Figures dancing gracefully
Across my memory]

"Trowa?" Catherine whispered. Her adoptee had fallen asleep on the couch again. "Trowa? Are you going to sleep here tonight?" He stirred slightly, and a muffled grunt was her only answer. She smiled and pulled the blanket off the back of the couch to cover him with.

Trowa felt her drape the blanket over him gently, and jumped when she bent over to embrace him. "Goodnight, Trowa," she murmured, and gave him a slight peck on the cheek. He sighed, wondering how long he would get to stay here and pretend he had a family.

[Far away, long ago
Glowing dim as an ember
Things my heart used to know
Things it yearns to remember]

She was looking at him again. He could feel her eyes on him from across the room. Heero almost turned to glare at her in response, but he couldn’t. Somehow he couldn’t bring himself to hate the one person who could ruin everything he’d worked so hard for. He would still kill her; that wasn’t something that could be avoided. But he would not hate her. After all, she looked so much like that girl from the memory, the one that had looked at him with kindness in her eyes. Heero couldn’t remember when anyone else had looked at him that way. Deep inside he knew that Relena would still be looking at him with kindness if he shot her through the heart. And he wondered if the little girl still remembered him.

[And a song
Someone sings
Once upon a December]