Disclaimer:: I don't own. Period.
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::Warning::

This has a lot of cussing in it. If you don't like pissed off
attitudes, don't read. But it's meant for humor. So don't read if you
don't like the words 'ass, bastard and shit'.......::smiles:: What
would my father say?

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Date For The Dead

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She was pissed. Oh yes. Pissed. She wanted to strangle him, beat him
over the head, slap him, shake him silly. She wanted to pluck a
button from his shirt. Hah. What would he do then? Sew it back on?

Um. Right.

But still, she couldn't calm herself from the rage that grew within.
How dare he? What made him think he could go and do -that?

"Jerk. Bastard. Asshole." Oh, now she was tough. "Big words Relena."
She muttered to herself as she walked to the shed.

A grim smile played her lips as she reached for the shelf filled with
spray paints.

"Pink is good." She decided.

Oh yes. Pink would do just fine.

At the grocery store she bought plastic forks, the kind with flowers
inprinted on the handle. They matched her eyes she thought. But of
course, they had to be Safeway Select brand. "Wouldn't want to get
cheap."

Everyone around her stayed clear of her path. She smiled. Good.

She bought the forks with a five dollar bill and walked outside. It
was dark already. "My, it's nine o clock. Might as well get dinner
for both of us on my way." She said in a hasty voice.

Taco Bell would do.

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She marched up to him with her Safeway bag in her left hand and the
Taco Bell bag in her right. The ass. He would have to pay her back.
Reenbarch.

"Hello Heero." She hissed. She plopped down on top of him. "Decided
to drop by did you? Couldn't you have told me? Dumbass. Now I had to
go out of my way to by your stupid dinner and mine. Not to mention
forks. Do you like pretty forks?"

She grabbed the box from her bag and shoved it at him.

"Oh." She crossed her arms. "You're not going to speak are you? None of
that, I'm going to kill you. WELL LOOK WHO HAS THE UPPER HAND NOW
YUY?"

She laughed a bitter laugh that sent chills up her own spine. "Do you
like hot sauce with your tacos? I do. The fire kind. Gives a jolt to
the inside." She spoke softly now, but still the anger was evident in
her voice. She took out all the tacos with sauce in front of him.

"What was that? Oh no, I'm fine. I'm not hungry, thank you." She
huffed out the last two words out of grim politeness.

"I thought we could decorate, you know? I brought spray paint so we
could paint this big piece of stone. What do you think? No, it's not
green, it's pink. Yes, Wufie would call it injustice."

The ass. Trying to keep a conversation with her now. What? Was she
not good enough before? She felt taking red jello and shoving it into
his face. The jerk.

"Yes, the jerk. You hear that Heero? You're a jerk! I hate you! I HATE
you! You dumbass loser who doesn't keep his promises. You know what?
People think I'm a love sick puppy who chases you around!" She threw
her hands up. "Me? A love sick puppy? My ass I am. You want to know
the truth?" -here she leaned forward and whispered, "I think you
have a cute ass Yuy. One good piece of chunk." She nodded
grimly. "Yes I know, you worked hard to make it firm."

She unwrapped his taco and took a bite out of it and continued to
yell at him -mouth full.

"But you know what? My ass is flat. I have to sit meeting through
meeting and I get a grim ass for it. You devil you, you get to sit in
a gundam where you 'bounce' around. Rounds it out, doesn't it?!? You
lucky bastard."

As she talked she whipped out the pink spray paint and began her
piece of art.

"You know what I did when I heard the news? I said to Duo, 'Duo, you're
crazy. Stop joking. Heero wouldn't have done that.' Hah. Boy was I
wrong you dumbshit. You know what I did afterwards," She continued to
spray. "I went to Dairy Queen and bought two ice cream cones. Oh no,
not one, but two! YOU MADE ME OVER EAT YOU PIG HEADED JERK."

"What went wrong Heero? Huh? What went wrong? You called me before
you left, you said you were coming back. Why didn't you? Heero..."
she gripped the stone to keep from crying, "Heero, I loved you."

And the sobs came.

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Duo stepped out of his car the next morning while the dew was still
on each piece of grass. He stepped up to the curb and saw a sight that
touched him so.

In the massive military graveyard, one pink cross stood out with a
small little blonde women leaned up against it sleeping peacefully.
Forks were stuck in the ground spelling out, "I love you Heero Yuy,
you bastard."

As he walked up to her he noticed the neglected tacos. She bought him
dinner. How sweet.

Gently shaking her she fluttered her eyes open. "Heero?"

"Nope. The cuter one."

"Duo."

"Bingo. Did you have a nice date last night, Relena?"

She nodded.

"Did you tell him what you needed to tell him?" She stroked his long
braid and smiled.

"Yes. I got it _all_ out." He pecked her cheek and pulled her up to
her feet.

"Come on then. You can come back another day. Hilde is going to us if
we miss her deluxe breakfast. The kids got her all worked up about
making omelets." He laughed at his own joke but Relena only smiled
absently.

"Duo...can I have one last goodbye?"

He understood. He nodded once and headed back to the car.

Relena turned around once again and spoke slowly.

"Heero. I wanted you to know. I'm pregnant. He's yours of course. I
thought we could name him something english, Donald, William. You
know, practical names." She sighed. "I'll see you tomorrow honey.
Maybe I'll go with bright green pain next time."

Bending over, she kissed the top of the cross as she felt her child
kick inside. "That's it sweetie. Give the bastard a kick. The damn
fool left us."

She smiled. Yes, venting was something you just had to do sometimes.
She had gotten it all out. She felt better. Even more so because she
would return tonight. Oh yes, green pain would do just fine and
perhaps she would try the 'Blues Clues' spoons for children.

"The jerk."



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author notes....


well um. Yeah. You see....uh....

right.

Review me will ya? This wasn't meant to be good writing. Just some
musings.

G'day