~*~

Her answer reverberated in his head again and again, like an echo in a deserted valley… He felt as though suddenly pushed into a burning pit of fire and then punctured with spears… He couldn’t move for God knew how long… But when he heard her chair scrape back, his feet automatically brought him running up the stairs as if dogs were after him, into her room, and slipping into her bed. Yet now, he felt oddly cold… Oddly… dead…

"Good morning Heero."

He heard her cheerful greeting, but he didn’t care… He felt her sit beside him, but the excitement that used to come when she was near, was now replaced by indescribable pain. How could she sleep with him and show him so much when she loved another…?

Relena leaned down to kiss him.

He felt the bed move… He knew exactly what she was going to do and quickly turned away.

She frowned, confused at the blatant show of disregard, then shrugged. Heero could be moody sometimes… though this one was a first… "I’m going to the park this afternoon-"

"Fine!" He couldn’t stop the snarl that left his lips.

His tone nearly made her jump but she kept her smile, though it faltered while she faced Heero’s back. "Aren’t you going with me? You’re my bodyguard-"

The mere fact that she’s acting like an innocent bitch… Damn her. "No. I’m not. You can take care of yourself."

Anger caught hold of her first. She glared at him, confused, worried, and hurt. "Heero Yuy! What has gotten into you?"

He raised his eyebrow at her, mocking her and making her feel insignificant to hide the pain he could feel. "Why don’t you ask yourself that question."

Relena shook her head. Why did he say that? Why is he looking at her like that? "Why are you acting like an obstinate boy…?"

"I don’t know!" He stood up from the bed, naked like a newborn baby in all his glory, and glowered at her as if she was the worst thing he had ever laid eyes on. "I don’t know! I don’t know myself anymore!!!" Without another word, Heero stomped out of her room, straight into his, and banged the door shut.

Relena stared at her open door with wide eyes… Her anger turned to shock… and now, a sudden coldness enveloped her as she looked down at the bed and… the feeling that…

She reached out, touched that slight dip on her bed where he lay just a little while ago, and felt the warmth from his body… slowly disappear… She closed her eyes while a sob escaped her lips… ‘What… happened?’

Her shoulders shook… a hand curled over the blanket Heero had used while another went to her lips. "I won’t… I won’t…" Her broken whisper reached no one’s ears. Slowly, she stilled. With a deep, trembling breath, Relena stood up then opened her eyes to look at the beautiful sprawling world outside her window. Her eyes sparkled with tears, yet none fell. She had cried enough and it was time to stop… It was time to accept…

‘It’s over… It’s all over…’

He should have gone with her… First, because he was her bodyguard… Second, because… he would like to see this asshole Charlie… Who’s this man who stole her heart, and left his gasping for life? Damn the man. He could remember the time when he asked Relena if she had ever been in love before… She said ‘maybe’- was it Charlie?

‘For someone who’s going to meet the one you love, Relena, you look as if you’re about to go to a funeral.’ The observation came out of nowhere and he did a double take to make sure… True enough, she had a long face. He could tell, even when her face was covered by the shadow of her hat. She was also looking down on her hands, endlessly twisting a handkerchief. Heero frowned, trying to figure whether or not… ‘Is she… crying?’

"Relena!"

Her name, shouted from the other side by an unfamiliar voice, garnered Heero’s attention. A man in jeans and plain blue shirt with a khaki jacket came into view. He had an…. acceptable face, with sandy blonde hair… blue eyes… six one in height… It doesn’t take a genius to know who he is—Charlie.

Heero’s competitive streak came out. His hands flexed open and close… If he had a missile launcher with him right now… Target sighted and locked… Maybe he should just kill the man.

His hand curled around his gun, but when he glanced at Relena and saw how her sad demeanor completely disappeared as she stood up and waved her hand… he couldn’t do it. It was torture to stay still while the woman he lo-

He blinked, slightly confused. What was that word he was about to say? No… It couldn’t be. Heero shook his head. He should just leave and save himself some pain, but…

Slowly, he squatted lower to the ground, released the tight hold on his gun, and then punched the green grass to let his frustration out. It had been so long that he had a thirst for death. How ironic that- he peered through that small opening behind the bush- the person who lives for peace was the one who incited it in him.

"Over here, Charlie!" Relena pushed Heero to the back of her mind as she waited for her second favorite man to come up to her-

"Relena." Charlie’s hands wrapped around her waist and the two hugged each other like there was no tomorrow. "God! I missed you."

"I missed you too, Charlie… a lot." Relena buried her nose against the lapel of his jacket while he kissed her cheek. She was glad for the warmth and support. She needed it right now… How she wished that it was Heero’s arms around her, but… Charlie is a good enough substitute… or Duo, Quatre… even Wufei… sweet Wufei. That thought brought a smile to her face. She misses that loud mouth. "But now, it’s your fault."

"I know… The boss had been giving me too many assignments."

"Well, all I’m saying is it’s your fault this time. Now you’re the one with the tight schedule, not me." Her arms tightened around his waist when tears suddenly started to threaten once again. Why did it have to start right now…? Was it because he was hugging her as if she was someone special when she did not feel like that at all…?

"Relena?" Charlie gently pushed her away as he felt the pressure from her embrace. The last time Relena had hugged him like that… that sort of hug was when her butler had died. "What’s wrong?"

"Nothing."

The telltale sniffle was enough evidence of the lie. "Relena, this isn’t fair." He caught her chin and forced her to look at him. "We promised. You know I’m here for you… Please…" He couldn’t stand seeing her like this. "Tell me what’s wrong."

Relena shook her head while her grip around Charlie’s waist tightened. "I don’t know where to start… You’ll probably think that this is all trivial anyway…"

"Tell the truth and nothing but the truth and let me make that judgment myself." The soft laughter that left Relena made him smile. It was a bad joke, but she got it.

"You and your courtroom lingo." Relena gave him a light punch. If anyone could see them right now, they’d think that she and Charlie were lovers… Of course… they did consider that probability a long time ago. They weighed the possibilities with a rational mind, shared a kiss or two, but… they were better off as best friends… being step brother and sister was an added bonus.

"Hey, got a laugh from you, didn’t I? Besides, what good am I as part of your family if I can’t be there for you?" Charlie chucked her chin then made her look into his eyes. "I’m gonna tell you something I hope no one would ever hear."

"Really?" The contrast between the twinkle in his eyes and the severity of his tone made her grin. "What is it?"

Charlie’s hands cupped Relena’s face to make her see that he was serious. He knew how much she missed her real brother and that, according to Duo and the others, she had been through some tough times with love. He tried to say it as often as he could, just to show her that she isn’t alone in this world, and he could only hope that it helps. "I love you, sis…"

Relena’s lips trembled. "Oh Charlie…" She stepped forward and hugged him once again. How did he know that she needed someone to tell her those words right now? That she was craving for them? Why couldn’t Zechs be like him? Why couldn’t her real brother be beside her, like this? Why couldn’t Heero…? "I love you too… my brother…"

He watched as Charlie reached her and then gave her a bear hug… Then he nearly lunged out of the bushes when he saw Charlie lean down to kiss her!

"God! I missed you so much!"

Heero stared at Relena, his ears waiting for her answer…

"I missed you too, Charlie… A lot."

He suddenly felt his drained and his anger disappeared. His eyes could seem to look away though he ached for them to close. He watched as Relena buried her face against his chest, as Charlie kissed her beautiful hair, as the two stayed in each other’s arms…

There was something between those two. A certain closeness he couldn’t describe, but he knew he envied. He wanted to grab Relena, jerk her away, and lock her up. He wanted to break that man’s nose and pound him to the ground… He wanted more than ever to kill a person, but right now… he couldn’t look any more. That feeling of death slowly crept over his entire being like a burning hole until all he wanted to do was to wash it away… wash it away like bloodstains that wouldn’t disappear…

He found himself in front of her house… How he reached it was a mystery, but he didn’t care as he callously walked to his room, and then straight into the bathroom… He didn’t even bother to take off his clothes as he entered the shower, grabbed one of the knobs, and twisted it. Cold water hit his chest.

A wet hand went up to his face when he felt liquid on his cheeks… He frowned, confused. Why were his cheeks wet when water hadn’t touched it, yet…? Why couldn’t he focus his eyes? Why in the damn hell did it feel as if this whole sordid event was his fault?!

He couldn’t control the tumult of emotions that seemed to seize his chest. He couldn’t understand it. He hates it. He hates it when he doesn’t know what to do! He hates it when he doesn’t have any control.

With a frustrated growl, Heero faced the marble wall then punched it over and over again… as hard as he could… until his knuckles bled… until he heard them crack… until a painful, heart-wrenching cry echoed in the house…

His body slid down to his knees like a lifeless doll, rocked back then dropped on his buttocks… Cold water continued to splay on his feet while he hunched over his legs. Bloodied hands covered his face while his shoulders rocked with years of unspent tears… choking him… punishing him… tormenting him…