Wufei began to worry when he saw Duo's satanic grin. This worry was substantiated when the psychotically cheerful boy put down two paper sacks of something that /clanked/ and started pulling out bottles that looked suspiciously like alcohol.
/Not interested,/ he told himself, and went back to practicing his martial arts form in front of Nataku.
"What's that?" he couldn't help overhearing Quatre say from where the blond boy was sitting reading an ariel map.
"Good old-fashioned liquor," Duo replied with a grin, rummaging through the sacks for the cups he was pretty sure he'd nicked as well. "Thought some down time might be nice. What's your preference - vodka or whiskey?"
"I don't drink..." Quatre replied.
Duo raised an eyebrow at that. "Then you're long overdue to try it, Quatre," he decided. "Trois, you interested?"
Trois elegantly shrugged. Duo envied that careless grace that Trois always exhibited. "Why not?" Trois answered. "We've nothing better to do." That surprised Duo a little. He hadn't thought that Trois would actually be interested in drinking with him. Quatre sat and watched then while Trois jumped down from where he was sitting on his Gundam. Trois crossed to where Duo was, reached into the other bag from the one Duo was searching, and pulled out the glasses he was looking for. Trois offered them to Duo with a coolly raised eyebrow that showed he'd surmised Duo's method of obtaining not only the cups but the alcohol and food that was in the bags as well. Duo shrugged; he'd been a street thief for a long time and hadn't yet lost the touch. No honor was required where eating was involved.
"Hey, Hiro, wanna join us?" he called out across the cavern as Quatre stood up and walked over to them.
Hiro shrugged and wordlessly closed down the programming he'd been doing, then came to join them. Duo was surprised; Hiro /wasn't/ just ignoring them? He wondered what was going on with that. But still, four out of five was better than he'd expected to get when he'd thought of stealing a bottle or two of alcohol. That left only one....
"Wufei," he asked, watching the Chinese pilot do his fancy martial arts in front of his Gundam, "I don't suppose you drink, do ya?"
"No," came Wufei's stony response as he did a precise kick at the air in front of himself.
"Not interested in trying?"
"No." Wufei did the kick again, this time in exact, exacting slowness. Wufei was good.
"Not scared, are ya?" Duo smiled, propping his head on a fist as he watched Wufei react to that bait.
Wufei stopped practicing and turned to look at him. "No," he said for the third time. "I'm just not interested in making a fool out of myself."
"Don't tell me you're not... manly enough... to down a couple drinks with the rest of us," Duo drawled innocently.
Wufei froze at that, stiffening. Duo could see the anger and annoyance radiating off of Wufei, the bruised pride. Then Sheng Long's pilot crossed to them with short, stiff movements. He sat down between Hiro and Trois in the informal circle they'd formed, directly across from Duo. Duo watched as Wufei snatched one of the cups up and silently held it out to him, an angry challenge on his face. Smiling, Duo filled the cup.
Trois knew how much alcohol he could handle, and pondered crossing that line. He wasn't sure if it would be a wise decision. But likewise, he was reasonably certain that no one would notice. Quatre was already pretty drunk, as was Wufei. It was a bit harder to tell with Hiro, who was being even more withdrawn than usual, but he was fairly sure that Hiro would soon be in no condition to notice his own. The only one who might be was Duo, who had been matching him drink for drink and showed no signs yet of inebriation. Trois silently blessed Duo for stealing some food to go with the alcohol; otherwise both of them might have been as drunk already as their companions were.
He wondered what Duo's true reasons were for stealing the alcohol; he didn't trust that it was just a whim of that bright facade. It couldn't be to incapacitate them; unlike Trois himself, Duo was simple in his loyalties. So to what purpose, then? Trois couldn't find the answer, and it bothered him. Not being able to find explanations always bothered him.
Quatre, between them, was tipped over to the side a little. "Feels... fuzzy!" he announced with a slight giggle, this observation directed mostly to Wufei on Trois' other side. "Fuzzy," he repeated, nodding as though this observation was of grave importance, "but it tastes nasty. Like the feeling, not the taste. Any way to get the one not the other?" Quatre's cute side came even more to the fore under the influence of alcohol, apparently. It was hard to believe that he was the same age as Trois and the others.
Wufei looked thoughtfully into his empty cup, then held it out to Duo for a refill. Duo obliged with a grin, pouring more vodka into the empty receptacle. "And you, Wufei?" Duo asked.
Wufei looked into the cup as he took it back, studying the reflections on the liquid's surface. "Feels like I'm in cotton," he replied with the careful pronunciation of someone who was trying to be logical around too much to drink. "I don't like it."
"So why are you drinking more then?" asked Trois.
Wufei shrugged and took a drink. "Seems to be the flow of the moment," he answered. Duo laughed at that.
"Very fuzzy," Quatre said again, this time actually leaning against Trois. Trois didn't mind; Quatre was light. Fortunately the blond boy didn't seem to want to drink any more; he'd had quite enough and would likely end up having a large hangover in the morning. So would Wufei. Trois was becoming more inclined by the moment to let Duo deal with the latter's probable bad temper in the morning and just take care of Quatre himself. Duo would probably volunteer to deal with Hiro as well....
Trois looked into his nearly-empty cup and considered for a moment, then shrugged and decided to let loose. He did trust Duo, after all. Shinigami's pilot wouldn't betray them, and if an attack came, he'd lead it away from the rest of them. Trois reached for the brandy bottle and filled his glass again.
Duo smiled to himself; he was able to drink anyone he knew under the table and his fellow Gundam pilots were proving no exception to that rule. Quatre and Wufei were sloshed already, Hiro looked close to it, and even Trois was slightly buzzed. Sleight of hand concerning a bottle of vodka and a bottle of water helped a guy stay sober when his friends weren't. After all, /someone/ had to take the watch tonight.
"So why're you guys Gundam pilots?" he asked, seeing no reason not to find out more about them. "Hiro?"
The pilot of the Wing Gundam looked up, prussian blue eyes hard but strangely soft with the alcohol. "To make it stop hurting," he said in a slightly slurred voice, "I hurt back." Then his head fell forward until Duo could no longer see his eyes, and Hiro was silent.
Duo shivered; there had been something dark embraced in those words, something that didn't bear thinking about while drinking. Later... think about that later. Next question.
"And you, Trois?"
Trois took another small sip of the brandy he was consuming and set down his cup before answering, "Because someone has to."
"That's not an answer," Duo pointed out, tossing his braid back over one shoulder. "C'mon, tell."
Trois shrugged. "I have no family, no ties. I'm good at what I do. Who better to send on what could amount to a suicide mission at any moment?"
Duo watched Trois' hand as Trois reached for the cup again. "What are you scared of, Trois?" he asked softly, seeing the almost-hidden shake, the trembling pain. Nearly perfectly hidden. He'd only seen it because he'd been looking for it.
Trois stopped, hand just shy of grasping his cup. He looked at Duo, brown forelock obscuring one deep green eye. "The emptiness and myself," he replied in a quiet tone. "I embrace it because I have to; I can't turn away from it. What would I be if I stood alone, without the emptiness beside me?" He resumed his movement, turning his gaze away from Duo, grasping the cup and raising it to his lips. His visible eye met Duo's again in a momentary acknowledgement of confession. Then he took a swallow, and the strange moment was broken.
"Okay..." Duo said a bit awkwardly, somehow respecting Trois even more now than before. "And you, Quatre?"
Quatre looked up at the mention of his name. "Hmm?" he asked, blinking.
"Why do you do this, Quatre?" Duo asked, grabbing another roll and slicing some cheese to go in it. "Why do you pilot Sandrock?"
"Ahm...." Quatre looked over at the impressive bulk of his Gundam. His soft voice was even softer now, gentle eyes and expression seeming half-asleep. "I don't know...."
"Quatre," Trois said reprovingly.
"Hmm?" Quatre looked up at him and realized that he was leaning against Trois' shoulder. How had that happened?
"We're being honest here."
"Oh." Quatre tried to straighten but gave it up after he couldn't figure out how to. He tried to think, to turn his mind to the problem of why exactly he /was/ piloting Sandrock. "I came to see if I could do it... I think...." He frowned, not being able to remember correctly. That wasn't the reason, was it?
"No," Trois' voice reminded him as he tried to concentrate. "There was the other reason, remember? The one that you told me... the one about your father."
"Oh." Quatre frowned; he didn't quite want to remember that one.
"'Scuse me," Duo's voice interrupted, and Quatre lifted up his head to look at Shi... Shiki... no, /Shinigami/'s pilot, "but what're you talking about?"
Quatre didn't want to answer that so he didn't. But he felt Trois look at him for a long moment before the other pilot quietly said, "Quatre's gay. This is his way of proving his worth to himself and his family."
For some reason Quatre's vision focused on the drink slopping out of the cup as Duo started. He knew it had been a bad idea to confide in anyone; Trois might have taken the news evenly but the others wouldn't now that Trois had told them. Sigh. Alone again, he guessed. Even his favorite sisters didn't understand the part of him that felt things that were forbidden towards other men. They loved him, but... they didn't understand. No one understood.
Duo coughed once, catching Quatre's attention again, and Quatre was amazed to see the grin that warmed across Duo's face. "So how do /you/ know this, Trois?" Duo teased.
Quatre stared for a minute, not quite able to believe Duo's casual acceptance of something he'd been taught was wrong all his life, until Duo's innuendo sank in and he realized the meaning of the jibe. His face caught fire and he sat up straight in embarrassment. "Chigau yo!" he cried, denying something that Trois probably wouldn't bother to. He did feel something special for Heavyarms' pilot but he couldn't tell if it was love, friendship, brotherly affection, or some combination of the three, and until he could figure it out he wasn't going to let Trois be the subject of /any/ kind of ridicule concerning him. It wouldn't be fair.
Duo grinned at Quatre; the blond Arabic boy from L4 was looking very cutely stunned, probably at his acceptance. If Quatre felt that he had to "prove" himself like this because he was gay, he probably hadn't been raised in a very friendly environment towards such things. Duo didn't much care either way about which gender Quatre liked; they were friends regardless, right? Besides, it made a heck of a lot more sense about why Quatre was as adoring of Trois as he was, even if Trois didn't know it. And Duo had no doubts that Trois didn't know it. If anything, Trois seemed to regard Quatre as a precocious little brother. That would make it more interesting if and when it came out and Quatre confessed.
"... And how about you, Wuf..." Duo started to ask before he saw the L5 pilot slip over to one side and thump solidly on the floor. Duo blinked a second at that development, then reached over to Wufei and checked for his breath and pulse. Both were distressingly normal. "Huh. He passed out." Duo sat back up and considered. A slow grin worked its way across his face as he thought....
When Wufei opened his eyes, he immediately wished he hadn't. Besides the fact that the light was throwing anvils on his brain, the noise the other four Gundam pilots were making was dropping elephants, rhinoceroses, large vehicles, and small houses on his throbbing temple. He winced and closed his eyes, moving to press a hand to his head.
He figured out he was chained up when he couldn't complete that simple move, with a thunderous clanking accompanying the restriction.
"Ah, you're awake." Wufei opened his eyes again and saw Trois kneeling at his feet calmly attaching another chain.
"What are you doing?!" Wufei spat, the movement of even speaking making his head beat far more painfully.
"It should be fairly obvious," Trois replied. "I hope you like pink, by the way."
"Pink?" Wufei tried to get that concept to make sense.
"Take a look at your Gundam," Trois suggested. Wufei did.
When his scream died away, it was all he could do to stare. Quatre was happily painting flowers and smiley faces and even giant games of tic-tac-toe on the surface of Wufei's Nataku, all in a horrible shade of... pink. Baby pink.
"Yo, Quatre!" Duo yelled up to the boy who was so cheerfully defacing Nataku's dignity. Quatre looked down. "You should put the 'X' in the center square!"
Quatre looked back at the game of tac-tac-toe he was painting as large as himself, and obeyed, putting the "X" in the center.
"Duo, Wufei's awake," Trois called over. "Good, he can watch," Hiro said from where he was looking at his laptop. He frowned. "Duo, you didn't get enough magenta paint for the square footage we need to cover."
"We'll stretch it with the green, then," Duo replied, approaching Wufei. "I was worried you were going to sleep through the entire thing," he told Wufei.
"What are you /doing/?!" Wufei demanded.
Duo shrugged, nonchalantly flipping his braid back over his shoulder. "Painting," he replied. "We had the feeling you'd probably object, so we took the liberty of restraining you. Hope you don't mind."
"You bastard!" Wufei spat. "What did I do to deserve this?"
Duo shrugged. "You had it coming."
Wufei struggled against his bonds and cursed as they held.
"Will those hold him?" Duo asked.
"They should," Trois replied, straightening. "Shall we begin?"
"Sure. Hiro, you coming?"
"Fine." Hiro dropped from where he was working out his calculations on the leg of his own Gundam. "Did you get the spray-painters?"
"Yup. Quatre, want a 'painter?"
The blond looked down. "Just a minute and I'll be there."
For the next three hours Wufei struggled, cursed, spat, and cried. He utterly failed in his attempts to free himself and had to watch as Nataku's dignity was stolen by those he /had/ thought compatriots. Finally the paint job was finished and the four pilots he had long since decided in his mind were his own personal version of Hell stood back admiring their evil handiwork. He would have killed them if he'd had any energy left.
"Hey, guess we should let Wufei free now, shouldn't we?" Duo asked, stretching his arms over his head as he looked up at the monstrosity of bad taste he'd created in painting Nataku. Baby pink, with accents in magenta and a horrifying shade of neon lime green.
"You... bastards...." Wufei hissed as the four approached him. The world was going black around the edges as Trois manipulated the locks and ties. Large purple spots danced before Wufei as he looked at Quatre's gently expression, at Hiro's cold smile. Wufei looked up at his beloved Nataku once more, then let the darkness claim him as the last of the restraints fell away and he crumpled.
"Hiro?" Duo asked, kneeling next to the Wing Gundam's pilot. "Wake up." He reached to touch Hiro's shoulder, to shake him a little to get him to wake up.
"I'm awake," Hiro said without moving, without looking up.
"I thought you'd passed out or something," Duo said, sitting back on his heels. "C'mon, let's get to bed. Trois and I've already put Quatre and Wufei down, and it's getting pretty late."
"I'll find my own way." Hiro's voice was quiet, subdued. "Go to bed, Duo."
Duo hesitated. "Nah," he said. "I'm not that tired yet. I'll stay up with you." He sat down crosslegged next to Hiro and leaned forward, his head on his hands, elbows balanced on knees. "Gotta give you credit, though, Hiro; you handle drinking better than I'd've thought. Thought you'd've been as silly or senseless as Quatre or Wufei by now."
"Why do you talk so much?" Hiro's question was laced not with the derisive contempt Duo had come to expect by now but with a wistful curiosity.
"... Hiro?" Duo asked, surprised. He reached over again, this time touching Hiro for real, pushing the slumped form back to sit up.
The tears glimmering on Hiro's face stopped him cold. He'd never seen Hiro cry. Never.
"Hiro?"
His heart thumped heavily in his stomach. Duo began to feel chills from it, from Hiro's tears and silence.
"It hurts," Hiro whispered. "It always hurts. Make it stop hurting...."
"Oh man..." Duo said, realization dawning on him. The alcohol. Getting Hiro drunk must've released whatever demons the Wing Gundam's pilot kept locked inside. "Shit. I'm sorry, Hiro...."
Hiro's blue eyes were wide, unseeing. He wasn't looking at Duo or even at the cavern the five of them and their Mobile Suits were hidden in. Whatever he was seeing was coming from his own mind, his own memories, and Duo knew it had to be bad. Everything he'd ever heard about something like this told him it was going to be bad. He didn't know what to expect. "Hiro?"
Hiro began to rock from side to side, his arms around himself, a lost child. Duo hesitated only a heartbeat before getting behind him, wrapping his arms around Hiro as well. He didn't know what kind of dark stuff was hidden inside his friend, but he'd seen its effects. Hiro, who didn't even whimper when he shot him twice. Hiro, who set his own broken leg like it wasn't part of him. Hiro, who plunged from a building headfirst and didn't even try to open his parachute.
"Fuck, you're messed up in there, aren't you?" Duo whispered. If Hiro was himself, he'd probably have tried to kill Duo about now. But he wasn't. "Hiro, don't lose yourself in your memories. You've gotta come back. I know I talk too much, and I know it hurts here, but you can't just leave. What would I do if you died? You're pretty much my best friend, ya know? Come back. It's just a little bit longer. You just need to survive a little bit longer. One more day, one more hour. I'll help you get past it, man, I swear I will. All of us will. I promise...." Duo paused, then added the one thing that he thought would probably get past everything else even if he himself couldn't. "What would that girl, Lilina, do without you, Hiro? Come back here for her...."
Hiro opened his eyes in the morning sunlight and felt a sharp pain stab through his head. But it was managable. When had he gotten to bed? He didn't remember. He didn't remember much of anything beyond that first cup of whatever Duo'd given him to drink.
He sat up and looked around. Trois and Quatre were already both up, heads bent together over a map, studying it and holding a quiet discussion over some of its points. Duo was sitting on his own bedroll watching Hiro and the still-sleeping Wufei. Hiro wondered why Duo wasn't asleep yet; from the looks of him he'd taken Wufei's turn at last night's watch, and there was no need for him to still be up if Trois and Quatre were awake.
"Y'know, Hiro," Duo said in a soft voice, "I spent most of the night thinking about you. Whatever shit you've got locked up inside your head and your heart, we'd all help you with it if you wanted us to."
Hiro started. "What do you mean?" he asked, his tone guarded.
Duo gave a short laugh. "Let me guess," he offered, his eyes tired, "you don't remember a thing."
Hiro waited for the recitation of whatever he'd done the night before, wondering how much it was going to hurt. How much more pain he was going to have to bury.
Duo sighed, lowering his head. "Never mind, then, Hiro. I was the only one who saw it anyway. I'm not gonna tell the others; we all gotta keep our secrets." He looked up, his cobalt-blue eyes meeting Hiro's again. "I'll help you deal with it if you want, Hiro. That's what friends are for."
Hiro squelched the flash of hope that fluttered inside him for a second. He couldn't afford hope. He couldn't afford friends. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said, standing up. He turned his back on Duo. "Don't bother me about it again," he said, walking over to Trois and Quatre.
"The offer stands," Duo called softly, knowing Hiro heard him. He'd hoped for a second... but hope was ridiculous in the middle of a war. Maybe someday... when this was over... maybe then he could get Hiro to open up. Someday....
He started as Wufei woke up all of a sudden and grabbed him by the collar. "You bastard, for what you did..." Wufei snarled into his face.
"Hey, hey, chill, Wufei!" Duo said, waving his hands helplessly. "It's me, Duo! What'd I do?"
Wufei paused and looked over at Sheng Long, some of his tensions seeming to fall away as he saw the Gundam sitting peacefully on the floor of the cavern. But his grip on Duo's collar didn't slacken until he turned back and hissed to Duo, "If you /ever/ think of painting Nataku...." He released his hold and Duo slumped back, wondering what had caused the death in Wufei's eyes. Paint his Gundam? Geez, that boy must've had a hell of a nightmare or something!
"Knew I should've made decaf this morning," Duo decided, watching Wufei stride over to the coffee pot and pour himself a cup. Then he shrugged. It was none of his business; he'd covered the night watch, so now he was bloody well going to go to sleep and let Trois deal with the others.
Smiling, Duo toed off his boots, took off his cap, and slid into his bedroll. Yes, let Trois deal with the others, now was time for.... He yawned and closed his eyes. Now was the time for dreams....