The young woman looked out the window, her blue eyes shining with unshed tears. Her blond hair hung limply down her back, sticking to her body. Her outer appearance seemed fine, but it was obvious to those who looked at her closely that she was devastated. Thick black lines were under her eyes, a sign she had recently spent several nights without sleep. Her eyes were dull, strip of any signs she still lived.
Finally, the tears fell uncontrollably down her cheeks, some finding their way into her mouth, others splashing on the ground where they went unnoticed. A sob escaped her lips, making her chest rise up quickly. Her hands, which hung down her side, slowly reached out towards the window and touched it lightly. Then they pressed down on the glass, looking for support to her tired body and exhausted mind.
To her, the memories were still fresh… The kiss, the fight, the unexpected news from Duo's shattered voice… All were too recent for her to be able to sort out…
"I'm sorry Relena…" Duo's choked voice apologized to a shocked Relena.
"W-Where is he?" she asked again, unable to grasp the truth.
"I tried… I really tried to-"
"Where is he?!" she yelled at the crying boy. He slowly pointed towards the
group of medics. Without another word, she took off to the direction. One of
the paramedics stopped her before she could get close enough to distract the
working team, but it was near enough. There he laid, the boy of her life,
bleeding nonstop. His eyes were shut tight as he tried to endure the pain he was
being put through. "Heero!" She suddenly called out, not being able to hold her
voice in her anymore.
The boy shot his eyes open and looked straight at her, Prussian eyes filled with
pain, regret…and fear? Fear of what… of death? She tried to understand what he
was trying to tell her through his eyes and slowly tears found their way to her
eyes. She started shaking her head, unbelievingly.
"I'm sorry, Relena…" he spoke out, his voice coming out as a whisper. "I don’t
think I'll be here tomorrow morning…"
"No… You can't." she yelled at him, finding her way through the medics and
holding his hand tight in hers. He didn’t answer her back. He only looked at
her, pain visible in every part of his body and eyes. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry I
yelled at you. I never meant to. I never meant what I said… Ai shiteru…
Forever."
"I know… I love you too, Relena… Tell Duo to give it to you."
"Give me what?"
"I'll be waiting for you…" With his last strength, the boy raised himself and
kissed the young girl before going limp in her arms.
"NO! Heero! Please… Come back… Please…" She fell on his dead body, gripping in
her hands the fabric of his blood stained tank top, sobbing furiously.
* Well I wonder could it be
When I was dreaming 'bout you baby
You were dreaming of me. *
From the window, she slowly turned on her heels and walked to her desk slowly.
She reached out and picked up a piece of paper from the middle of the table and
held it up to eye level. She looked over the contents and closed her eyes, a
couple of tears slipping past her close eyelids. She opened her eyes again and
started reading the letter out loud, like she had done so many times before…
"Relena,
If you're reading this, it means I'm gone by now and I probably told Duo to give
this to you… I don't know if by the time you read this I'll have told you how I
feel about you, but in any case, I'll tell you in this letter. I know you'd
prefer to hear this from me, but this is the second best thing at this time… I
love you. I finally figured out what it is you make me feel… Love. Since that
first day on the beach, I knew there was something special about you, but only
God knew that back then…
You're so strong… Stronger than I could ever be because you lived through this
war keeping your humanity but also saving other people's humanities… Mine is a
good example. But I think you already knew that. I'm sorry I ran away from you
so many times, but it was needed. I needed to find myself, find the feelings I
know I once had, before I could come back to you. I wonder if I ever did come
back to you…
There are only two things I wish you to do for me so I can rest in peace…
Forgive me for the pain I've caused you and don’t forget me…
Love always,
Heero Yuy."
Relena hugged the letter close to her chest, tears still washing over her face.
"I promise, Heero… And I forgive you, even though there is nothing to apologize
for…"
* Call me crazy
Call me blind
To still be suffering is stupid after all of this time *
She placed the letter back on the table and looked back out the window, the blue
sky slowly darkening with thick black clouds. Suddenly, a gust of wind blew in
the room and Relena turned on herself, trying to find which window was open but
saw none. Then she saw it… Then she understood what had caused that gust of
wind…
On the opposite side of her desk stood a young woman, her eyes covered by her
jet-black hair. She stood tall and wore a work suit composed of a knee-high
skirt and a shirt. Both were black and her shoes match the color. She had no
briefcase, no papers… nothing.
"He wants to talk to you," her voice spoke out, high pitched and very feminine.
"I don't see what's to say, though. You'll never have him again."
* Did I lose my love to someone better?
And does she love you like I do?
I do, you know, I really, really do *
"I'm sorry, but I don't know who you are or what you are talking about. Now if
you'd please-"
"You know who I am. And he knew me too. I warned him not to brush me off… I
asked him time and time again to be mine, but he'd always give the same answer."
"Which was?" Relena asked, fear tickling her throat.
"I love her and I will not abandon her. And you can't make me."
Relena didn’t answer. She stared at the woman whose head was still bowed, hiding
her eyes, her emotions impossible to read through her body posture. She tried to
restrain her breathing as to calm her palpitating heart, but it was too strong
for her. Her chest started to rise faster and faster and then she could feel it…
It was as if someone was squeezing her heart to death, impeding it to beat
normally. She looked up at the woman in horror, as if waiting for an
explanation.
The woman's head suddenly snapped up, her brown eyes slowly losing their color,
become bare of life… She never opened her mouth, only stared at Relena, trying
to tell her what was happening to her through her bare eyes, but she realized
that wasn't working.
"I told you, Relena. He wants to see you…"
* Well hey, so much I need to say
Been lonely since the day
The day you went away *
Then she felt it. Her heart stopped and as hard as she tried, she couldn't
inhale… Then, she slowly closed her eyelids and fell to the ground unconscious.
The woman instantly took her spirit with her and disappeared from the room,
living behind her a hologram of the girl whom just recently died.
*********
When Relena opened her eyes, she stood in a room with a simple design. It was
painted sky blue with bare walls. Pictures stood on the desk and night table. A
simple bed was in the far-left corner of the room, covered in simple white
sheets and a pillow.
She looked around the room and spotted a familiar figure sitting tiredly on the
desk's chair. She approached him carefully, trying not to alarm him. She spotted
short behind him, analyzing the messy hair and the tank top… He looked familiar,
but did she know anyone who wore white and who had white skin like he did?
Suddenly, it hit her. "Heero?" she asked, uncertainty edging her voice.
The boy pivoted around and his eyes looked upon her form, fear and happiness
overwhelming him. "Relena?! What… what are you doing here?"
"I don’t know… I was in my office when a woman appeared and then… I woke up
here."
"A… woman?"
Relena nodded her head, confirming to Heero what she knew. "She said you wanted
to talk to me…"
"Me? I have nothing to say to you," he answered, brushing her off.
Relena was speechless for a couple of seconds before rage took over. "Is that
the way you're going to treat me?"
"You shouldn't be here…"
Then Relena understood what had happened to her… She realized who the woman in
her office was and why she had killed her… "You mean to tell me I died for
nothing? Just so you could brush me off?!" She asked enraged.
* So sad but true
For me there's only you
Been crying since the day
The say you went away *
"I never asked for It to bring you… So I have nothing to say."
"If you won’t talk, then I will. It told me It warned you not to brush It off,
but you did it anyway. What does that mean?"
"I can't tell you."
"Heero, you're dead. I don't have much time here and I'll be leaving soon… This
is the last time we'll ever talk until my true time comes… Please."
"It offered me many times to be Its Messenger…" Heero answered the girl after a
couple of seconds of silence.
"Messenger?"
"The one to kill the people so It'd get the souls… But I refused the offer every
single time. I could have gotten immortality, but I renounced it. All I would
have become would have been a body with no soul… Worst than I was then… And I
didn’t want that."
"What do I have to do with this?"
"Everything, Relena. You're the one that kept me away from It…" Heero's cobalt
eyes, now bare of color, looked up at her, thankfulness shining in them.
"I… I don’t understand."
* I remember date and time
September twenty second
Sunday twenty five after nine *
"Remember our last fight?"
"I never meant it Heero… I'm sorry I tried to restrict you from going on that
mission. I'm sorry for throwing you out of the house and telling you all those
lies that I hated you…"
"I forgive you Relena… But that fight was the beginning of my downfall. When I
didn’t know you had forgiven me yet, I was vulnerable and that's when It came to
me again… even though I had begged It God knows how much to let me be… I
couldn't concentrate on what I was doing. In the middle of the battle, It
started to replay our whole fight in front of me and when I saw you slapping me,
I lost it… I made a wrong turn and my suit was hit on the chest plate… Where the
cockpit entrance was."
"It's my fault… If I hadn't been so stubborn-"
"I would never have experienced the joy that I did… If anything, Relena, the
least culpable in this story is you…"
* In the doorway
With your case
No longer shouting at each other
There were tears on our faces *
"Heero… Is it possible for me to stay here? Or would you hate me for it?"
"I would never forgive you… You're stronger than this Relena, don't copy me.
Don't give up on life the way I almost had done when my parents died. A lot of
people still depend on a strong leader. You have to live for them…"
"But can I live without you by my side?"
"Who says I won't be?"
"I know… But what's the point if I can't touch you or feel you or hear you speak
to me?!" she yelled, tears running down her face. Heero didn't answer her. He
lowered his head in shame, understanding exactly how she felt. "I don’t want
that… I'd prefer to stay here with you than go back there."
"No! You can’t do that. You have to back… If not for yourself, for me."
"But-"
"Please… Don’t make other people suffer because of me. You'll find happiness…"
"How do you know?"
"Because I know you and I know that you'll find happiness wherever you go and
wherever you are."
"I… You think, Heero?"
"I know so. Trust me…"
"I trust you."
"Are you done?" a low and cold voice spoke from the shadows.
Both froze on the spot and turned to where the voice was. The woman whom had
brought Relena stood there, but in her hand was a scythe. She wore high heels
boots reaching up to her knees and a black thigh-high skirt. Her shirt was tight
but lose enough so it wouldn’t stick to her. Her black hair was in a braid going
down her back and stopping at her thighs, the attire completed with a black cape
reaching down to the ground.
"What happened to you?"
"I decided to assume my true shape… Do you have a problem with that Messenger?"
"I am NOT your Messenger! Now that I'm dead would you please knock it off?!"
"Very well then…" It answered Heero, voice unwavering. "Are you ready to go back
or do you have something else to say?"
"I… Heero… I'm so sorry. I really wanted you to be able to see our son grow up."
Heero stared at Relena, speechless. His mouth hung open, and his brain raced
trying to understand properly what Relena had just said.
"My… Son?!"
"Yes, " Relena nodded her head. "I'm a month pregnant."
"When were you going to tell me that-"
"At our anniversary… Tomorrow."
"I'm so sorry I won't be there…"
"It's okay… The other pilots will help me."
"I'll haunt them if they don't," Heero answered her, grinning.
Relena smiled through the tears she was still shedding. Heero got up from the
chair he sat on and walked up to her, brushing her tears away.
* Say we were letting go of something special
Something we'd never again
I know, I guess I really, really know
Chorus*
"Come and visit me sometimes?" Relena managed to choke out.
"Everyday."
"We have to get going Miss Relena… I can't sustain your body much longer without
your spirit being there."
"Very well." Relena stepped back and faced Heero who still held onto her tight.
She quickly kissed him for the last time and jumped back, taking the woman's
hand… She had vanished before Heero could say anything else…
**********
Relena's eyes fluttered open and she breathed in heavily as she lifted herself
off the ground. She looked around her office and spotted the woman wearing the
work suit she had worn before.
"Was it all a dream?" Relena asked touching her lips lightly, trying to see if
she could feel Heero's last kiss on them.
"No. It happened," she answered, not moving nor raising her head.
"Take care of him for me… Until I get there."
"I will… And I will no longer bother any of the people you know… Orders from
high above."
"I see… Thank you."
The woman raised her head quickly, her once bare eyes turning brown. Confusion
was written all over her face, twisting it in an ugly posture.
"What for?"
"For letting me see him one more time. I know you weren't ordered to… Thank
you."
"No- no one ever thanked me before… Ever."
"You deserve to be thanked. It's a sad occupation you have and I admire you for
doing it correctly."
"Th-thank you too…" she replied, her eyes slowly losing their colors.
This time, it was Relena who was confused. "For what?"
"For understanding me… And for being the first living human to understand me."
Relena smiled a bit at this statement… She knew she could trust It to take care
of Heero in her absence. The woman in front of her slowly vanished and soon was
gone. Relena stared at the empty spot for a time, reminiscing on what had
happened to her and, once again, she thanked It for taking her to him for the
last time in a long time.
* Why do we never know what we've got 'till it's gone
How could I carry on
The day you went away *
*********
It was raining outside. People stood in a circle, tears on everyone's faces…
Some of them were familiar while others weren't. Duo and Hilde were there with
an adult resembling Duo. The latter stood firm, just like his father, tears
slowly going down his face, unlike Duo who wasn't shedding a tear, but it was
obvious he was in pain.
Trowa and Catherine were there also. Trowa hung his head low, few visible
droplets washing down his face. Catherine was much like Hilde, crying and
sobbing, unable to stop even though she tried as hard as she could.
Quatre stood not far away from Trowa. He was silently crying, the black tux
contrasting with his sadden blue eyes. Accompanying him was Dorothy. She refused
to cry, but the pain she felt emanated from every par of her body.
Zechs and Noin stood together. Hand in hand, two children next to them. All four
hugged each other, trying to find comfort. With them stood Wufei and Sally,
holding each other's hands. Sally womb sticking out from her large black dress.
"Does anyone wish to speak a couple of words?" A voice interrupted the abnormal
silence, which had surrounded the place.
"If I may…" Duo's choked voice replied. He let go of Hilde's hand and stepped
onto the podium and looked at everyone, a sad smile spreading on his lips. "May
I start, Father?"
"Go ahead," the priest approved, nodding his head.
"I really shouldn't be up here… Heero should. But his body died a long time
before. Even so, I'll try to speak for him. A long time ago, he told me Relena
was the strongest person he'd ever met… Stronger than all of us combined,
stronger than every single courageous man and woman combined together could ever
hope to be… I didn’t understand what he meant until this day. After Heero's
death, I thought she'd crumble, that'd she'd hang onto the past like I wanted to
do. But she didn't… She moved on without a care. First I thought she was being
insensible, that she didn't care that Heero had died for her, but I was gravely
mistaken… She was going on because she somehow knew that Heero wanted her to…
That she needed to live for him and the people who depended on her. That's the
reason why she was- No, that she is so strong. Because she lives for others,
because she did her best to impede the people to feel what we felt during the
last war… Heero knew that, he knew that she'd give up everything, her life
included, so that people wouldn’t have to suffer… He saw that when all of us
didn't. That's why he loved her… That's why I admire her… That's why she'll
never be forgotten and forever be a symbol of peace… That's why we are here
today to pay our respects… "
He stopped and looked around the crowd. Every pair of eye stared at him. Then,
he stopped his gaze at the base of a tree and saw them… Three people stood
there. One was dressed all in black and the other two were translucent, but
their forms were clearly defined… Heero and Relena… The latter waved to him
while the formed flashed a V-sign, letting him know he'd approve of his speech.
Duo suddenly started laughing…
"Guys, we are the most pathetic people in the world… Would you stop crying
already?! Do you actually think Relena would be very pleased with you if she saw
you now? She'd yell at you for crying over her… She'd say we should cry over the
lost souls of war. But the thing is, Relena… That's exactly what we're doing.
We're crying over a soul that had lost its beauty but has now finally regained
it… I hope you'll be happy with Heero. We'll look after Juno for ya."
Duo stepped down the podium and regained his place next to Hilde who slapped his
arm.
"Must you be always right, Duo?"
"It's my job baby," he answered her playfully.
As the priest took over the service once again, Duo's eyes diverted from what
was happening to the tree trunk. He smiled a bit and turned back to Hilde and
whispered something to her. She nodded sadly and let go of Duo's arm. He walked
away from the group and went to where the three stood.
"Hello," the woman wearing black answered.
"Why'd you change again? I thought you enjoyed being a man."
"Mrs. Yuy changed my mind. Do you have an objection about it?"
"No. You look better like that… Can they hear me?"
"Yes."
"Could I hear them?"
The woman didn't answer. She seemed to be thinking and finally gave in and
whispered words Duo couldn't understand.
"Long time, Duo," Heero's baritone voice spoke out.
"Yeah. How've you been?"
"Fine."
"Me too. I married-"
"Hilde. I know. I was there at your marriage, seated next to Relena and Juno…"
"You… You paid us a couple of visits I see…"
"Everyday. Like I'd promise Relena I would."
"Is that why you never married again, Relena?"
"No," she shook her head. "Heero tried to pair me up himself, but I never fell
in love again…"
"They're waiting for you… Duo," the woman spoke out.
Duo stared at her, incredulous. "What did you call me?"
"Duo… That is your name, correct?"
"Y-yes… But I thought that…"
"Thank your friends for that."
Duo nodded and turned around, walking away from them. Walking back to the world
of the living. Heero and Relena took each other's hands and followed the woman
through the park and onto the rays of sun passing through the cloudy sky. Duo
looked back one more time and smiled.
'They'll be just fine…'
Duo placed his hand on a young man. Cobalt eyes turned to look at him, his
honey-brown hair moving with the wind. Duo smiled sadly at him and he returned
the smile.
"She was old, Juno."
"I know… I'm sure she happier now. I just wish she'd told me more about my
father…"
"I'll tell you everything you want to know. You just have to name it."
"Thank you, Duo."
"No problem, Juno… No problem…"
* 'Cause I've been missing you so much I have to say
Been crying since the day
The day you went away. *