DISCLAIMER: I don’t own gundam wing or any of its characters. I don’t even
own my car so don’t sue me*_*
IRIS
BY: Lara_Winner
SONG: Goo Goo Dolls
And I’d give up
forever to touch you
‘Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be
And I don’t want
to go home right now
Heero silently approached the
sleeping figure lying in the middle of the huge four poster bed. A soft smile
curved his lips faintly. The covers were pulled up to her neck and her golden
hair spilled around her like a halo. Her usual impassive expression was relaxed
and her lips bore the semblance of a smile. She reminded him of a picture of an
angel he had seen once, perfect, pure, and innocent. God, I’m turning in to a
sap because of her, he thought disgustedly, his usual scowl returning upon his
face. That was more preferable than a cold, emotionless killer, right? It was
the same inner battle every time he thought of her. Unfortunately that happened
to be at all the most inappropriate moments. Now, though, he could let his
thoughts have free reign over his mind. It had taken time for him to come to
terms with what he felt for her and now he thought he finaly understood it,
somewhat. She was his salvation. She was the only one who cared enough to stand
by him, even with the hell he put her through. He loved her for it. But as
things usually go it wasn’t that simple. And she knew it. Yet no matter how
confused he was she was always there. The moonlight spilled over her sleeping
form creating a glow upon her smooth skin. He reached his hand out but stopped
himself just before touching her. He couldn’t wake her up. She didn’t need to
know he was here. Instead he played with a lock of her golden hair that fell
upon her pillow. Suddenly she moaned and restlessly shifted closer to him. He
snatched his hand back as if burned. Sighing tiredly, he turned and walked back
to the French doors leading to the balcony. Leaning against the wall he never
shifted his gaze from her. He would leave in a little while, just not yet.
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
‘Cause sooner or later it’s
over
And I just don’t want to miss you tonight
He was silently observing her in the
shadows as always. Hiding like a coward. Would he ever get the courage to tell
her how he felt, he wondered. He didn’t know how to show his emotions and yet he
was trained to fight by following his emotions. How perversely ironic. Anger
flared in him. The one thing he wanted most in the world was right in front of
him and the only thing holding him back was himself. He had never let anything
hold him back before and for once he wasn’t going to let himself analyze his
actions. He was going to follow his emotions, logic and fear be dammed.
Purposely he walked back to the bed. He reached forward he gently stroked the
side of her smooth cheek. His fingers tingled as their skin touched and his lips
quirked into a grin. As expected her blue eyes fluttered open focusing on him
sleepily. Gasping as she realized there was someone next to her bed she sat up
violently and reared backward in fear away from his shadowed figure. As he
continued to watch her he saw her eyes widen in surprise as she realized it was
him.
"Why…wha…Heero?" she whispered, her bewildered voice matching her
expression. He was amused at her reaction though he kept his face blank. So now
what, he thought, she’s certainly awake. He didn’t have a clue of what to do
next so he just stood there staring into her eyes silently. After a moment she
looked down at her clasped hands and breathed deeply as if bracing herself for
something. Looking up she met his gaze dead on, only now he was faced with her
rigid composure.
"What are you doing here?" she asked quietly. A simple
question and yet the toughest to answer. He decided a simple answer was the
best. He was going to be honest; she deserved at least that much from him. Well,
partly honest.
"I wanted to see you." he replied. Her expression turned
curious and she gave him a small smile. Reaching over she turned on the lamp
that was beside her bed. His eyes narrowed and he blinked at the light that
suddenly filled the room.
"Have a seat." She said as she patted the edge
of the bed next to where he stood. Gingerly he sat, hardly noticing the way the
soft mattress dipped under his added weight.
"Why did you wake me up? I
know you didn’t come here to chit-chat." She said, her smile betraying her
skepticism at his answer.
He tried to hide his surprise at her question
but he knew he failed. When did she start seeing through him so easily? She knew
him to well, and that had always been his downfall with her. He couldn’t
completely hide from her no matter how hard he tried. But he had said he was
done hiding, right?
"You know why I’m here, Relena." He whispered,
deciding it was pointless to turn back now.
"No, I don’t know," she said
sadly, her eyes not meeting his and her brow creasing in a frown as she
continued, "I know why I want you to be here, but I seriously doubt you’d ever
come to me for that reason."
"Don’t be so sure," He replied. When her
startled gaze shot to his, he continued, "Like I said, you know why I’m here."
Instead of answering she looked away toward the window. Gently he forced
her to face him again and noticed the tears brimming in her eyes. Her voice was
so faint he had to strain to hear it when she finally spoke, "Why, Heero?"
"I love you." He whispered, the words escaping his lips before he could
stop them. He was stunned at what he said and by the way she was looking at him,
he could tell she was too. Then without warning she pressed her lips to his. It
was the barest touch but it sent his mind spinning. He didn’t know exactly how
to respond, so he just let his instincts take over. Very softly he moved his
lips against hers and again he was lost in the strange sensation. A warm fuzzy
feeling was the only way he could think to describe it. Oh yeah, he was
definitely turning into a sap, he thought. Then he felt her slip her arms around
his neck and all logical thought vanished.
And I don’t want the
world to see me
‘Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When
everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
He
pulled her closer against him, his arms moving of their own accord. The warmth
of her body penetrated the thin cotton of his shirt causing him to shiver. If he
had known that not thinking would feel this good he would have followed his
emotions a long time ago. Then suddenly she broke the kiss. He forced his eyes
open and tried to get his mind focused but it was hard because her body was
still pressed against him and that was almost as distracting as her lips.
"Are you going to disappear on me again?" she asked. Her voice was
breathless but he could hear the underlying fear in it. Resting his forehead
against hers he smiled a real, genuine smile.
"No, you’re stuck with me,
like it or not." He said. In response her arms tightened around his neck as he
lifted his hand and began twirling a lock of golden hair between his fingers.
"You smiled, I’m shocked." She whispered.
"Feel honored, Relena.
I don’t do it often." He said. Her answering smile was so bright he couldn’t
help but smile again. She giggled and then, her eyes glittering with mischief,
she leaned close for another kiss. He wasn’t about to object.
You can’t fight the tears that ain’t
coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels
like the movies
And you bleed just to know you’re alive
He stared up at the
ceiling; comforted by her sleeping form nestled against him. He listened to her
even breathing and sighed with contentment. He had honestly thought he could
never be human again. He had seen and done so much in that damn war that it was
hard to see himself as anything but a soldier. To feel was to be weak and to be
weak was to be human and he was trained to be a weapon not a human. Now he
realized that it was all just bullshit. This moment was priceless and if he had
succeeded in making himself the perfect soldier he wouldn’t be here now. He
hadn’t lied when he’d said he hated her but then he hadn’t been telling the
whole truth either. At first he had hated her because it was easier to blame his
weakness on her than on himself. He really had wanted to kill her, only because
he knew he couldn’t do it. Now he was just thankful that he had failed at
becoming the perfect soldier. But he was who he was, and he couldn’t entirely
change. He still had inner demons to battle and fears to overcome but he was
relieved to know that even if he couldn’t cry at least he could smile. She would
never believe it but she was the only thing of value in his life. And after
years of feeling nothing it was frightening yet thrilling to feel something this
soul consuming. From one extreme to the next was the way he had always done
things and it would be no different in this. In some ways he hadn’t changed at
all but for the most part he didn’t recognize himself. He had to admit, the
person he was today was a vast improvement over the person he was when her first
met her, even if he wasn’t perfect. And he was glad he wasn’t perfect, it was
much more satisfying being human.
And I don’t want the
world to see me
‘Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When
everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
A.N.- like I
promised a happy ending. Who knew I could do it! I think I was a little OOC with
Heero but oh well. I write sad stories better, sorry. Anyway, I hope ya like.
Thanks for reading.*_*
