Fireflies

Her legs were crossed and her arms were behind her head as she lay before the woods. Faint breezes whispered across the grass taking a few strands of her hair along for the ride. A faint smile curved her lips as flashes of light played tag in the dark foliage of the trees.

This is how I found her.

I was angry as hell at the time.

I stalked up to her, silently, although it wasn’t my intention to surprise her. I ended up doing it anyway.

"What do you think you’re doing?" My anger was fading into relief, but I still glared.

Her head swiveled around and her eyes went wide, then blinked. She always did have pretty eyes.

"Heero!" She said in surprise.

"Relena, it’s 2 AM. I go on midnight patrol to make sure you’re safe and you’re not even in bed."

"I’m sorry Heero, but I just couldn’t miss this." Now I was a bit confused.

"Miss what?" I asked. I don’t know why I wanted to know, but I did.

"This." She said gesturing towards the trees, which were currently being illuminated by thousands of lightening bugs.

"Bugs?" I asked, making sure my assumption was correct. She heaved a weary sigh

"Yes, bugs Heero. You really know how to romanticize stuff did I ever tell you that? Now sit down." She finished, patting the grass beside her. I thumped down next to her and looked up. Even I had to admit, it was a pretty sight. Almost like christmas lights gone haywire. I guess I must have been staring because the next question she asked was-

"Do they have fireflies on the colonies, Heero?"

"No." I answered. She looked at me for a long minute.

"That’s a pity" She said absently, turning her gaze back to the trees. Now that I wasn’t on the spot I felt free to study her. She had on a light summer dress with her hair pulled into a messy bun to alleviate some of the heat. The reflections of the lightening bugs flashed in her eyes.

"You know…" She said, her voice jerking me out of my trance. I looked away hastily, a bit annoyed that I was so easily pulled in by her. "My father and I used to catch fireflies together" She continued, her expression growing wistful. "He was never really the fun father or the devoted father, but he was my father. And we used to catch fireflies together, sometimes." I sat silently waiting for her to go on.

"I used to think the fireflies really did hold lightening. That somehow when I caught them, I could touch something as intangible as light." She shook her head, laughing a little "I really was quite foolish, wasn’t I Heero?"

She had never been foolish to me. A little gutsy, a little mislead at times, but never foolish. I decided to avoid answering her question by asking another one.

"Is that why you like them? Because they remind you of your father?" She considered the question for a moment, letting it sift through her mind.

"No." She said slowly "They remind me of my father, yes, but that’s not the reason I like them."

I raised one brow. She got the message.

"In my line of work, Heero, I meet a lot of people. I meet a lot of bad people. I see a lot of bad things happening, everyday, despite my efforts and your own. It makes me want to become cynical. Makes me want to crumble and succumb to the overwhelming evil. Sometimes I feel it’s hopeless to ever strive for something as fragile as peace. It takes a lot of work to build it, and very little to make it break. But the way I see it, I still have the fireflies. Fireflies are something that have no purpose other than to glow. They give off light. If something like that can exist in the world and not be swallowed by all the darkness, then I believe peace can too. Watching them is just a reinforcement in my hope."

As I slowly absorbed this piece of information, she sighed and put her head back down on the grass. I propped myself up on one elbow and looked at her, straight faced.

"You’re basing a set of beliefs, one that greatly impacts your life, on the fact that an insect glows?"

She curled up on one side and started giggling. One side of my mouth quirked up in a half smile, pleased that she understood my joke.

As her giggles subsided she reached down, intertwining the fingers of my free hand with her own and brought it up her mouth, rubbing my knuckles absently across her lips. I swallowed hard, trying not to think about how soft her lips were, and how easy it would be for me to lean down and feel them beneath my own. Bodyguards do not kiss their employers.

"Do you like fireflies?" She asked, dropping our joined hands from her mouth, ending the sweet torture. I had to clear my throat before I answered.

"I never considered them. They are inconsequential." This made her smile for some reason.

"What?" I asked, wondering why that comment amused her.

"It’s nothing Heero." She said. "It’s just that, some of the best parts of life are, in the end, inconsequential."

I made a considering noise in my throat before taking the weight off my elbow and lying down again. She scooted a little closer and turned so that she faced me. I looked over at her before asking.

"Like what?" I asked. She looked at me with her head cocked slightly to one side.

"Well, like love for one thing." Her eyes were drawing me in and holding me captive. She went on to explain. "Love is not necessary in life. You don’t need it. But it’s one of the most beautiful things you can experience. You can live, never knowing love. But that would be a miserable and empty existence indeed. Sometimes it’s not where you go, or what you do…sometimes it’s just about your emotions." I was staring at her mouth now, watching the way it formed words, watching how her tongue darted out to wet her lips, noticing how soft it looked. I could feel the atmosphere around us become charged as I leaned a little closer.

"And have you ever loved anyone, Relena?" I asked, eyes riveted to her face. Her eyes widened and she laughed a little.

"Yes I suppose." She answered slowly, "But he’s more or less clueless." My heart sank at these words but I didn’t allow it to show. It was harder to gather my scattered wits.

"Who is he?" I asked, not being able to slip out of the blue green of her gaze. A smile touched her lips briefly before she leaned in and pressed her lips to mine.

To say the least I was surprised. I had never kissed a girl, being stoic and anti social and generally avoided by the fairer sex. So this whole kissing business was something new to me. But somewhere along the way, gut instinct cut in and I found myself reaching around her, pulling her closer. From there it was all touch. My hands went up to her hair to loosen the bun and let my fingers tangle in the mass of spun gold as I plundered her mouth. I shivered when she stroked my tongue with her own, and my fingers involuntarily clenched in her hair.

The little whimpers she was making in the back of her throat were driving me crazy, and my hands moved over her back in slow motions, as if possessed by a will of their own. The shock of my hands on the part of her back left bare by the dress brought me crashing into reality. I broke off the kiss, breathing heavily, fingers still against her skin. Kissing was very…interesting. She tipped her face up and caught my eye. When she looked at me with a slightly pained expression I knew it was me. It was me she loved. My eyes widened and she nodded.

"Relena" I breathed. She buried her head in my chest and exhaled.

"Don’t worry Heero…I know." She knew I wasn’t capable of dealing with this now. It was too much for me, a soldier who was only beginning to allow himself to open up. But I wanted her love, I wanted it to be there for me when I was ready.

"Wait for me." I said, hugging her close.

"Always." She whispered.

And so we sat and watched the lightening bugs, until the sun came, and their glowing green light was no longer needed to break through the night.