Disclaimer: I do not own
Gundam Wing, nor do I own, promote or manage the music group STAIND. I do this for pure enjoyment and make no $$$ off any of my
stories.
AN: The first time I heard this song, I wasn’t
quite sure of the words. Once I was able
to find the lyrics, I immediately thought of the relationship of HY &
RP. I hope you like looking at things
from P.O.V of HY.
It’s
been a while
Heero stood out on the
balcony of his apartment, watching the snowflakes dance with the wind. A frosty gust grabbed and ripped at his
jacket. Not that it bothered him. It was cold, but nothing could feel worse
than the emptiness he dealt with in his heart.
He had always had an aura of a cold-hearted person, void of all
emotions. But one person had seen
through his frigid demeanor and tried to show him what he could be, what he
could feel.
‘Relena’ he
whispered. Remembering the last time
they were together, he hung his head.
<It’s
been awhile
Since
I could hold my head up high
Since
I first saw you
Since
I could stand on my own two feet again
Since I could call you
But everything I can’t remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I’ve rendered
I’ve stretched myself beyond my means>
Since he was 15, Relena
had been a part of his life, in one-way or another. He sighed as he remembered the first time they met. He had just ‘crash’ landed on Earth and had
washed up on the beach. When he opened
his eyes she had been there, standing over him. Her blond hair being tossed by the ocean breeze, her blue eyes
filled with concern. The next time they
met, she had invited him to her birthday party. He had torn up the invitation, and told Relena he was going to
kill her. When the opportunity finally
rose to let her die, he had ended up saving her instead. Thus beginning a cycle, where he would
finally end up her protector. Five
years now, he had protected her. Relena
become an obsession to him. Wherever
she would go, he was always nearby lurking in the shadows. Always watching and protecting. She knew that he was there, for she would
talk to the shadows when no one was watching.
He knew Relena was in love with him because she wore her feelings on her
sleeve. He was the ‘perfect soldier’;
could he feel the same emotions as Relena??
He had tried and look where he was now, standing on the balcony: alone.
<It’s
been awhile
Since
I would say that I wasn’t addicted
Since
I could say I love myself as well
Since
I’ve gone and fucked things up
Just
like I always do
But
all that shit seems to
Disappear
when I’m with you
But
everything I can’t remember
As
fucked up as it may seem
The
consequences that I’ve rendered
Heero closed his eyes and thought
back to the time he had tried, not too long ago, to show Relena how he
felt. And how it had backfired in his
face.
----Flashback----
Without knocking, Heero
turned the doorknob to her room and walked inside. Relena was lying on the bed, pen in hand, diplomatic papers
scattered all around her. She wanted
peace and even during her ‘down-time’, she was working hard to make it a
reality. Relena didn’t even look up
when he entered the room. However, she
did turn her attention in his direction when she noticed that he hadn’t taken
his normal place within the shadows. He
was walking towards her.
‘Heero?’ she asked with a
puzzled look on her face as she got up from the bed.
They were standing so
close now that he could hear her heartbeat.
His own was beating just as fast.
He raised a hand to her face and gently caressed her cheek. Her skin was so smooth and warm, just like
he had dreamed. Placing her chin
between his thumb and index finger, Heero tilted Relena’s face towards his
own. Slowly, he lowered his head and
tentatively placed his lips on hers.
Heero couldn’t believe how right it felt, standing here, kissing
her. Applying a little more pressure,
the kiss became all consuming. Heero’s
arms tightened around Relena, bringing her against his body. His hands snaked their way through her silky
hair. He ran his tongue across her
bottom lip and as she sighed, he took full advantage of the situation. As their passions heated up, against better
judgment, they found their way to her bed.
All the barriers that stood between them were brought down. They fumbled their way through the
darkness.
As morning broke, Heero
got up and strode to the window in Relena’s room, contemplating the enormity of
the previous night’s events. He was
scared. Heero Yuy, the ‘perfect
soldier’, was scared. Scared of the
emotions that he had experienced and of the emotions he couldn’t quite name.
<Why
must I feel this way
Just
make it go away
Just
one more peaceful day>
He turned from the sunrise
to find Relena propped up on one elbow, the bed sheet wrapped around her body,
hair disheveled. She looked so
beautiful. Her voice, as clear as
bells, broke the silence that hung between them.
‘I love you, Heero.’
Automatically, the
barriers that had been torn down were rebuilt.
His face became expressionless, his emotions kept under tight
control. Heero could see the tears
begin to form in her eyes as she waited for him to answer her back. But he couldn’t for the words never came to
him. Calmly and quietly as he entered
her room earlier the night, Heero collected his clothes and left.
----End Flashback----
<It’s
been awhile
Since
I could look at myself straight
Since
I said I’m sorry
Since
I’ve seen the way
The
candle lights your face
But I
can still remember
Just
the way you taste>
Heero stared out into the
night sky, oblivious to the snow and cold.
He had been taught all his life to ignore his emotions, but could he
ignore them now? Was he capable of love? And, if he was, would Relena welcome him
back after he left her there alone?
<But
everything I can’t remember
As
fucked up as it all may seem
The
consequences that I’ve rendered
I’ve
stretched myself beyond my means>
Watching the snow fall to
the Earth, Heero said the only thing that he could say,
‘Relena, I love you’, but
the words fell silent against the howling wind.
<It’s
been awhile
Since
I could hold my head up high
And
it’s been awhile since I said
I’m
sorry>
The End