Disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing.  It belongs to Bandai Entertainment, Sotsu Agency, and Sunrise.  Don’t sue me, I’m poor.

 

Author’s Note: This fanfic was written to take place after Endless Waltz.  Looking at many Gundam Wing websites, I’ve found information about the characters, especially from the controversial manga Episode Zero by Akira Kanbe.  If you don’t know about this manga, well, I can’t help you out there because in some parts are based on that manga…  Sorry!  You can read now!  ^^;;;

 

Atonement

Prologue – Thoughts

 

Heero sat, staring at his computer.  The young man let out a quiet sigh and rubbed his eyes.  It was 4 A.M. and his essay for his Space History class was still not quite done.  He stood up and stretched.  Having the urge for coffee, Heero silently opened his bedroom door and stepped over his roommates of the dorm, who were drunk from a party.  “Idiots,” he murmured as he grabbed a mug and filled it with coffee.  One of his roommates appeared at the doorway to the kitchen, yawning loudly. 

“Ne, Heero?  It’s only the beginning of fall semester and you’re staying up late doing work?  I have never seen you have fun, you know,” his swooning roommate said.  Heero narrowed his eyes and said nothing.  He only went back to his room. 

“College was for higher education.  I thought wrong,” thought the Gundam pilot.  His hair was still disheveled as it has always been and his eyes still a cold Prussian blue.  But he grew taller and his shoulders broadened.  And his dislike of socializing had never changed.

Ever since the destruction of Gundams, the five pilots went back to their normal lives.  Wufei turned to work with Sally Po in the Preventers Agency, formed to sustain peace.           Duo was working with Hilde in the Sweeper’s Group.  Trowa was traveling with his sister Catherine in the circus.  Quatre was maintaining his family business and also at the same time, taking part in politics with Relena.  Relena had resumed her adopted father’s role as Vice Foreign Minister and the name Darlian.   Heero returned to studying and was still able to get into college, despite all the school transfers he had went through to do his missions. 

Heero put his coffee aside and looked at the history book.  The book was published a year earlier.  After the Romefeller Foundation overthrew OZ after Treize Khushrenada’s resignation, they soon announced Princess Relena Peacecraft of the revived Sanc Kingdom as the Queen of the World Nation.  Heero fingered Relena’s name on the book.

Relena…  She’s still there, no matter what.  He knew.  After the two had been through so much, he couldn’t kill her, as was his earlier intention.  Instead, he protected her. And back then, she was only an ordinary teenage schoolgirl who unknowingly found his identity.  He flashed back to when he saw her on the side screen of his Wing Gundam.  Debris was about to fall on her when he covered her with his shield.  He felt bewildered, thinking that he was supposed to kill her, not protect her. For the first time, his heart decided his actions instead of what his mind wanted him to do.  Everyday from that point on, he thought of her.  She symbolized tranquility and innocence.   He wouldn’t ever want to lose her, even if it meant giving his life.  He finally came to a sense that fighting must have purpose that he would take his life for, instead of fighting just for himself. 

All those early missions caused him such misery, though he never showed it.  That girl with the flower and her puppy…  He didn’t want it to happen again.  He didn’t want to destroy innocent lives.  As long as wars continued to exist, more soldiers like him would be needed.  And more miserable lives would be made; more would have to suffer the pain of losing innocent people dear to them.  They would regret their loss…just like he did.

Heero stared at his hands and closed his eyes.  The lives he had taken had implanted a pain that he felt would remain in him until day he breathed his last breath.  It was unforgivable, what he had done. He didn’t understand why he was still alive; his life was the only atonement to his sin.  And someone would someday come back to haunt him… and he shall be punished for his crimes, which meant death.  He would be willing to accept it.  But the time hasn’t come yet…  On the while, he should keep on studying and maybe get a degree.  Earning a living was his goal in this world for now.  He soon returned to typing.

           

            It was morning and Relena steadily walked down the hall to her office.  She smiled and greeted her much older colleagues good morning.  She carried a thick folder in her arm that she would read for the day.  Relena opened her office door that had a tag that read “Vice Foreign Minister Relena Darlian.” Her office was modern and spacey.  One far wall of the room was a window that brought in the sun’s warm glow into the office.  She loved the daylight.  She made the traditional glance at the small brown teddy bear that sat on the corner of her neat desk.  She opened the folder and took out a few documents about the Mars Terraforming Project.

            She was eighteen and discontinued school to work with the space colonies and Earth representatives.  She cut her hair, which was a sure sign of maturity, and she also grew quite tall and regal.  People had always commented on her pretty frame, but she had always smiled it away just to be polite.  She never really cared, for such things were not her cares anymore.

            “Miss Darlian, there is a phone call for you,” said her secretary, who was standing at the door carrying coffee.  Relena turned on the videophone to see Duo’s smiling expression. 

“Sorry to bug you, Ojousan!  We just wanted to talk to you.  Well, anyway, I need a bit of help here!  Hilde has been poking me to talk to you about getting a boyfriend!” said Duo.  The subject made Relena’s cheeks red.  She had never really thought of getting a boyfriend.  Suddenly a fist smashed the top of Duo’s head in the screen.  Hilde’s angry face appeared. 

“WHY YOU, you Shinigami!  YOU were the one bugging ME about it.  And you know that!” said Hilde.  She jokingly strangled the purple-eyed Gundam pilot.

“No, I DID NOT!” he shouted back.  They continued fighting until Relena cleared her throat.  Hilde put down the scissors she had planned to use to cut Duo’s long braid and glanced at Relena.  “It’s been a few months, you know,” started Duo, “since the Mariemeiya catastrophe. Heero’s no where to be found—” Hilde gave him a warning glance and Duo realized his mistake. The couple looked guilty.

“Don’t worry, you two.  I can understand why you are worrying.  I am too busy with the Mars project and had no time to socialize.  It’s okay.  How about this, I will spend some time off of work and visit you crazy pair of people!” Relena suggested. Hilde and Duo smiled happily.  After a couple of minutes talking, Relena hung up the phone.  She glanced at her work and hesitated.  She stood up from her chair to look at the sunlight and the busy street below, full of people scurrying to their errands.  She gently pressed her palm against the glass.

Heero.  She mustn’t worry about him.  She knew he was a part of her heart.  She felt that they were connected internally in some way.  They knew and trusted each other.  They were more than brother and sister.  When she first met him, she saw uncertainty in Heero’s startled eyes.  She wanted to calm him down, but he just ran away…with a medical emergency van.  He was so uncertain and confused when he was with her. It wasn’t only the fact that she wanted excitement, but that she wanted to hold him in her arms and tell him everything was all right.  But when he fought on the battlegrounds…  He fought with such intensity and devotion she was intrigued. When her father died, she felt so lost.  She was confused herself, like Heero.  It seemed like dangerous flirtation on her part, but she needed him.  He was the only person she could depend on to lead her to her purpose in life.  Though they were far apart from each other, Relena felt strength from him to carry on and find the light.  And here she was.  Everything seemed so clear, so perfect and peaceful to her when he was here.  She smiled.  It would be nice to see him again.  But for now, she must concentrate on her work.

 

Duo smiled playfully at Hilde as he hugged her.  Hilde blushed and laughed.  “It’s so nice…and peaceful.  It is hard to believe that some day I could hear you laugh so wonderfully…” Duo whispered in her ear.

“Duo…  We’re in peace now…  Look out the window and down the street,” replied Hilde.  Through the window, they looked at a small circle of happy children playing ball.  “Do you see any war out there?  Duo, you still haven’t settled down…” Duo gently let go of her and sat on the large windowsill.  He propped his foot on the other side and crossed his arms.  It was a common gesture of Duo’s, and one of the things Hilde loved about him.

“Sometimes, it feels like this was some perfect illusion, like maybe I will wake up from it and find myself sitting inside Deathscythe.  I always worry that some day…I will lose more people I want to protect…  I don’t want it to happen again…  To just be helpless and see those around me die because of war.  BUT!” Duo’s eyes blinked from sadness to cheerfulness.  “As long as the Shinigami is here, your life will be secured!  NO ONE will mess with THE Shinigami!  And we will grow into old people that hobble around croaking, ‘You know what, I was one of the Gundam pilots that saved the world!’ while people give us wild looks.”  Hilde laughed as she playfully hit him on the head.

“Oh, really, Shinigami?  I don’t think so!” said Hilde as she instantly grabbed the scissors lying on the table nearby.  Duo’s eyes bulged out and he made a run for it around the house.

Inside, Hilde knew that Duo was worried.   In his past, when he lost his surrogate family, Father Maxwell and Sister Helen, to the Alliance, he was painfully crushed.  Hilde, Relena, and his fellow Gundam pilots were the only people he had left and he would do anything to protect them.  He would rather put himself at risk than let others fight.  But at that moment, all Duo needed to protect was his precious braid which he grew with pride.  “DUO!  You know cutting your hair is a sign of maturity!  LOOK AT RELENA, SHE CUT HER HAIR, TOO!”

“BUT I’M NOT RELENA!  I LOVE MY BRAID!”  Hilde groaned.

 

A screen flicked on.  A person sat in front of it, his/her face covered in the shadows.  On the screen, it showed the symbol of the Preventers Agency.  Click.  There was a large name list of the members.  It scrolled down and highlighted a certain name.  Click.  There was a profile of Heero Yuy, which read:

 

Member Name: Heero Yuy

Age: 18

Occupation: Pilot of the Gundam Wing Zero (machine now destroyed)

Position: Occasional Member

Location: Unknown

 

            “Pfh.  They don’t show much information of him.  But, then again, it doesn’t matter.  I know where he is.  And I will have vengeance…  I will have my vengeance, Heero,” said the mysterious person. The screen flickered off.