I Want to Live

Chapter 4

Heero sat down on the wet grass in the park, it was raining and nobody was outside. He was wearing pants and an undershirt with no sleeves. He had his gun at his side and was looking up at the sky. ‘A beautiful day for a heartless soldier to die.' He thought, he closed his eyes and half smiled.

Relena was in her car, driving to Heero's apartment. She got out and told Pagan to leave, she looked at the rain, and 'It is so cold.' she thought. She went inside and walked to his apartment. She knocked on the door and no one answered. She knocked again, but still no one answered. She twisted the knob and the door opened. 'I shouldn't be doing this.' she thought. The apartment was really neat, she remembered where is room was and walked in. It was neat like the apartment, but it was very dull. She looked around and her eyes stopped at his bed. There were needles and empty pill cases all over the bed. She just saw him 2 days ago, he must be overdosing. Or maybe be he was doing this for a long time, tears started to fall down her cheeks. She looked around the apartment for him, but he wasn't there. She ran out of the apartment building, it was still raining, she had to think. She remembered the other day, she saw a park not too far away from the apartment building, she decided to go there (What a coincidence:). She walked to the park with her head down, 'This is all my fault,' she thought. She found the park and saw Heero with his back against a tree.

Heero got tired of feeling the rain, so he put his head down, and opened his eyes. (Relena is looking at Heero's profile if you were wondering, it means the side of his face if you don't know what profile means.) He put his hand in his pocket and took out his last bottle of pills. He planned on overdosing, getting pnuemonia, and as soon as he felt pain, he would shoot himself.

Relena watched him take out the pills and she walked slowly over to him. He looked at her from the corner of his eye. Relena saw him open the bottle and pour out 2 pills, then put them put them into his mouth. She finally made it over to him, tears falling down her face with the rain following them.

"Heero." she choked out.

" Get away from me, Relena." He said not even looking at her. Relena sat in front of Heero, and she opened his legs to get closer to him. Heero watched her every move, she gently stroked his cheek and stared into his eyes.

Heero saw her look into his eyes and he looked down to avoid eye contact. He remembered his gun and picked it up. He put it to her head, so that it touched her. She moved back a little and he moved his gun to her forehead.

"Go away." he said coldly

She shook her and said, "No." He tightened his grip on the trigger.

"Heero, I love you." she said whispering, "Do you love me?" she looked him straight in the eye.

He closed his eyes, "No, I hate you, Relena, just leave me alone." He tightened his grip on the trigger, again.

"Please, Heero don't kill yourself." She said trying to keep calm, after what he just said. She moved the gun from her head and moved closer to him. Then she moved his hands to his sides and lightly put her forehead against his.

"Heero, if you die, I die. I can't live without you." Relena said letting the tears flow down her face. They looked into each other's eyes, Heero remembered this before.

Flashback

His best friend was a girl, they had been best friends, since they were 3. At the age of 12, they had to break apart, because of the war. She would be a spy for the colonies and he would be a gundam pilot. She was a month older than him and she acted like a big sister. Since they both had no family, they were their own family. She kind of acted like Duo, but she was as strong and as stubborn as Heero. Nobody liked to mess with her, they liked to pick on Heero, since he was such a crybaby when he was younger. She would always stick up for him, he was kind and she liked him. She was from America, she had light brown skin and shoulder- length dark brown hair. (It looked black.) They were best friends and she had to live him to go with a scientist that would teach her to become a spy. Before she left, she put her forehead on Heero's and said,

" I'll see you again, Odin."

" Bye." he said

"Bye." she said and ran to the scientist. After that Heero decided not to try and make friends or he would end up losing them. He became heartless, he should have told her that he loved her. (As a sister, I mean.) He lost the only one he loved, the only one that had eyes that burned with love for him. Her name was Mya.(I love that name.)

End of Flashback

Now it was Relena, who had eyes that burned with love for him. He let the only one he loved before go away, was he going to let go of Relena, too.

Relena wanted to touch his lips with hers, but that would make the situation worse. Instead, she moved her forehead from his. She put her fingers to her lips, kissed it, then put her fingers on his lips.

"Do you want to live, Heero?" He stopped looking into her eyes and looked down," No." He closed his eyes and said, "I don't want to live."

" Heero, please look into my eyes and say that." Relena said, almost choking on her tears.

"I can't or I'll lose you." He said, then a tear rolled down his cheek. Relena saw it and immediately kissed it. She liked the feeling of the softness of his cheek, the wetness of the rain and the tear on her lips. As soon as she realized what she did, she jerked her head back.

"I am sorry, Heero."she looked in to his eyes, he kind of looked shocked, not like when she kissed him that night, though. He moved her hand off of on top of his and grabbed his gun. He pointed the gun to Relena.

"Relena, Move."Heero said.

"Heero, please don't end your life."Relena said trying to hold the tears back.

"No, Relena you are going to get hurt, I'll kill you, and then it will hurt me."

"Heero, do you love me?"

"Yes, Relena and that is bad."

"Well, then stay with me and you won't hurt me." She didn't know that Heero understood her and she knew he didn't want to talk. So she pressed her lips against his.

Heero dropped the gun and kissed back. He held her waist and she grabbed his neck. They broke the kiss and Heero said,

"Relena, I want to live." then he fainted.

Author's Notes: That was the end of this part but just wait for the next part. It has to do with Heero's best friend, this other girl who is in love with Heero and Relena. It will be better, i know this is bad. I have the next part of this story and another fic. I KNOW THIS STORY WAS BAD, I AM SORRY. GOMEN NASAI!!!!!!!!!!