Chapter 28

 

            “And there has been another surprise in the legal battle over Relena Peacecraft’s actions in protecting the gundam pilots back in AC 199.  Court records indicate that the prosecution filed the necessary paperwork to go to trial, and the defense team met the challenge by filing a motion to dismiss based on lack of evidence. I guess this means that whatever deal the two sides struck after the appeal has been broken.”

 

            “Looks like there may be a trial after all, eh, Heero?”  Brian said, switching of the newscast and turning to the sullen man across the room.

            His friend didn’t answer him.

            “Heero?”

            “Huh?”

            “You’ve been walking around like a zombie for days.  They’ve already announced she’ll make a full recovery, so what’s bothering you?  C’mon, Heero, I know it can’t be the draft tomorrow.”

            “No.”

            “You think there will be a trial?”

            “No.”

            “Have you talked to her?”

            “No.”

            “Why not?  They won’t let you?”

            “They won’t let me, and I don’t know what I would say anyway…”  Heero’s voice trailed off, and after running a hand through his disheveled hair, he settled his gaze back on the floor.

 “I failed.”

            Brian shook his head, making his way over to rest a reassuring hand on his roommate’s shoulder. “I’m sure that whatever happened out there happened for the bes….”

His friend’s hands closing around his neck and lifting him off the floor cut off the rest of his sentence. Brian’s eyes grew wide as he felt his feet leave the ground and his back being smashed against the nearest wall.

“I know you were not going to say that it happened for the best.  I know you weren’t going to say that because I can’t believe it’s true.”  Heero’s fiery eyes bored into the other man, giving him a glimpse of the white-hot rage that coursed through his body.  Brian’s shaking fingers inched their way towards Heero’s in a futile attempt to pry them off his neck. But the aggressor simply let out a low growl before releasing his hold, turning away as his friend slid to the floor.

            Brian coughed and drew in long draughts of air, massaging the aching muscles below his chin.  “You know, I’m getting really tired of you picking me up by the neck like that.”

            “Tough shit.”

            “You know for a guy who just won the UCAA championship, and is about to be drafted to the pros, you sure are miserable.”

            “Fuck off and die.”

            “You know, I try to be a friend, I try to help…” Brian spat, rising shakily from his spot in front of the door, “And this is the thanks I get.  You can’t fool me, Heero – I can tell something else is bothering you.  Before you left, there was that hopelessness that just radiated around you, but you’re different now.  It’s not your little ‘mission failure’ that’s pissing you off – and you are mad.  You’re mad and you’re hurt, but you just try to bottle everything up all the time.  When are you going to learn that it’s okay to act on your emotions?”

            Heero blinked and looked up at his friend.  “What did you say?”

            “I said you should show your emotions more, not bottle things up.”

The silent minutes rolled past, one after the other, and Heero made no reply.  Instead he stared listlessly out the window, staring at nothing – seemingly detached and alone in his own universe.  Brian took the silence as his cue to exit, so he grabbed his jacket and moved to open the door.

            “Did you ever wonder what it would be like to be a father?”

            Brian started, at the sound of Heero’s voice as much as the question it was asking him.  Wha…Yeah, I mean, kinda but not really.  I came from a large family, I always assumed I’d get married, have kids, the whole thing, but I didn’t really think about it. Why? Did you?”

            “No.”

            “You never thought about it?”

            Heero took a deep breath, moving his gaze away from the window. “It was…this was never supposed to be my life.  I feel like I’ve stolen it, and someone’s going to show up at the door one day demanding it back.  I wasn’t going to live this long. Go in, destroy Oz, die for the mission and the colonies.  But I survived.”

            “What’s this about? I thought Relena wasn’t pregnant.”

            “She’s not…anymore.”

            Brian dropped his jacket, feet frozen to the floor. “What?”

            “Stress combined with the trauma of the gunshot wound caused her to…lose the baby.”

            “Man, Heero, I’m sorry.  I can’t believe…Geez, I don’t know what to say except -I’m sorry.”

            “She didn’t know, they kept it from her.  Now, they don’t want to tell her, but I don’t know if that’s the right thing.”

            “The whole thing’s crazy…It’s like it doesn’t make sense anymore.”  Brian looked at his friend of four years, suddenly beginning to grasp the deep wells of pain that were lodged in his heart.

            When the whole world’s gone crazy, then I’ll believe in myself and keep fighting.1

            “Relena…”

            *                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

            Pain tore through her shoulder as Trowa helped her from the bed.  Biting her lip to stifle a cry, the wounded princess tentatively placed on foot on the frigid tile, and then the other.

            “Relena?”

            “I’m fine.”

            “You really shouldn’t be doing this.” Trowa said, holding firmly to her good arm as she attempted a few wobbly steps.

            “I don’t care.  I’ve had enough of running.” Trying not to feel frustrated by her sluggish progress crossing the room, Relena gave a grateful smile to the friend at her side.  “You brought the things from my room and the clothes from storage?”

            “Yes.”

            “Thank you, Trowa.”

            “You don’t have to thank me.”

            “We’ve always been friends. You and Duo, Wufei and Quatre have taken care of me and protected me.  I appreciate that, and want to thank you for it.  For all that you have given me, and all that you’ve done for me…”

            “It’s no less than you have done for us.”

“Trowa…”

He nodded silently, then turned to leave, but stopped suddenly in the doorway, his hand resting gently on the door. “Would you have…were you really…Relena, I..I’m sorry.”

            He heard her suck in a deep breath before her weakened voice reached his ears. “I remember that moment so clearly, almost like it’s the only real thing that ever happened to me.”

            “I know…”

            “I thought it was the only way, but I couldn’t…. I remember briefly feeling angry with myself, thinking I was being weak. I don’t blame Wufei for shooting me, but to answer your question, I don’t think it would have been necessary.

            “I’m glad.  I remember what it’s like,” he said, giving the door a gentle push. “Fortunately, Catherine was there.”

            She smiled at his retreating back.

           

            “Gentlemen and Ms. Une. Please stay seated.  I have spent the last hour on the phone speaking with Mr. Leinsford and several former political allies.  ESUN has agreed to drop the case and schedule a meeting of the entire council to convene first thing Tuesday morning.  In a closed session, they will open the vote and confer upon me the truth of their decision against my actions.  Mr. Holden, Mr. Levy, I appreciate your efforts, but your services are no longer necessary.  Mr. Winner has already sent an electronic transfer to your company account.  Any other invoices should be sent directly to his attention.  I would like to speak to Ms. Une privately, now.”

            “Relena, we can win this case.”

            “Mr. Holden, you have been excellent council, if I was someone wholly concerned with only myself.  But as we have established, I have others to think of when making such decisions, and you bypassed what you knew as my express wishes against having a trial by using my injury to seek permission from my brother.” Her voice lowered as she continued.

“I also have it on good authority that the three of you conspired to keep the truth of my pregnancy from me.” She dropped her eyes to the floor. “And for that, I cannot forgive…myself.” Relena clenched her jaw and looked up at the men she had mistakenly trusted.  “Your presence is no longer authorized here.”

            “Yes, your highness.”

            “My deepest sympathies for your loss, Relena,” Mr. Levy said kindly and exited the room behind his partner.  Only Une remained.

 

            “You have every right to hate me,” the Colonel said turning her back as Relena closed the door.

            “I don’t hate you.  I’m too tired and sick at heart to hate anyone.  I just wanted you to know my decision, and to ask you to tell Heero why – if I never get the opportunity.”  There was a pause as Relena inhaled sharply against the pain and fatigue caused by the confrontation a moment before.  Talmadge’s confession…”

            “Just gives us an indication of who is responsible.  It doesn’t say for certain what’s in that envelope,” Une replied turning to face her friend.  “You’re taking a huge risk, Relena.”

            The former princess smiled faintly; the dark circles under her eyes made her look years older.  “I still have to protect him, protect all of them.  I won’t betray their trust.”

            *                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

            “How can you just sit there and read a book at a time like this?” Brian shouted across the all-too-quiet dorm room as he stuffed his hands in his pockets in order to keep them from shaking.

            Heero didn’t glance up from the page, or acknowledge his friend’s exasperated looks.

            “Aren’t you nervous? This is your future – who you’re going to play for over the next probably five years.” Brian cried out, having taken to pacing around the room.  On his fifteenth lap, he stopped in front of his roommate.  “What the hell are you reading?”

            “The Unbearable Lightness of Being, philosophy 3201.  We have an exam Monday, no matter which team signs my contract.”

            Brian rolled his eyes.  “You always have to be so darn practical and logical and stuff.”

            “Hn.”

            The vidphone rang, interrupting further discussion.  Brian checked his watch.  “No way, it can’t be….”

            Heero calmly strode to his desk and accepted the connection.  Brown eyes set in a tan complexion stared through the screen at him.  He recognized the man immediately and nodded in greeting. “Mr. Thurmond.”

            “We picked you up, Yuy.  Start packing your bags, we’ll be sending over the contracts later today.”

            “He’s got school to finish, Mr. Thurmond, you remember,” Brian interjected, looking from the man on the screen to the man standing in front of it.

            “Yes, well, as soon as finals are over we want him in training camp.”

            Heero nodded. 

            “Have your agent glance over the contract and call us if you have any questions.  See you in two weeks.”

            The connection terminated. A wide smile took over Brian’s face, though Heero remained typically unmoved. “Hey, man - You need an agent.”

            *                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

            She stood still in shrouded black silence, before the grave marked only with a simple stone labeled “Baby Peacecraft.”  Preventers stood around the perimeter of the private family cemetery, keeping photographers at bay.  There was no actual corpse interred in the ground, but she felt the need for closure.  Graves were places to grieve - marked ending points in lives of those who lie beneath the tender soil, and beginnings of a different phase of life for those left behind.  She had defied even her own resolve just in being there. 

 

            “They’ll follow you, and ask questions.  What will you tell them?”

            “I’ll tell them I was going to be a mother, and now I’m not.  That’s more than they really need to know.”

 

            “Heero… What must you think of me, now?” She whispered aloud, gently tracing the letters on the cold marble of the stone.  “I lost our baby.  I don’t even know how you would have liked being a father, but I have every faith you would have been a good one.  Strong, protective, gentle….  A fresh tear watered the earth around the grave.  “It’s my fault, it’s all my fault, and I wouldn’t blame you if you hated me, now.”

 

            “What do you mean, Trowa? I couldn’t have been, Sally said…”

            “Sally told you what Une thought you wanted to hear. Your lawyers, of course, had their own people double-check, but she convinced them that it was in your best interest not to reveal the pregnancy.  It would only make you more protective of Heero, and even less willing to face a trial that could have exposed who he was.”

            “How am I going to face Heero?  Did you tell him I…?”

            “I didn’t tell him.  But he already hacked the Preventer medical database and pulled your records.  He called Une furious about being kept in the dark.  She told him why Wufei shot you.”

            “Oh God…”

            “Do…do you know if…if it was a boy or a girl?”

            “I think it was too early to tell, Relena.  I’m sorry.”

 

            She made the sign of the cross and said a prayer for her lost child.  “I love you, and I will get to see you someday.” 

            Relena stood up from the ground and made her way slowly down the small hill, breathing in the pungent morning air.  A man with platinum blonde hair stood waiting for her at the limousine that had carried her there.  “Milliardo,” she whispered and picked up her pace as much as she could with her throbbing shoulder that had to be held in a sling.  When she reached him, he gave her a gentle hug around her waist as she buried her face into his shirt.

            “I’m so sorry, Relena….”

            She turned her head up to gaze into his eyes and tried to lift the corners of her mouth a bit to smile at him.  “It will be all right.”

            He tightened his grip on her waist and just held her for a while, glancing over the hill to the graves beyond.  He was a man used to pain, but though he had seen death many times in his life, he still didn’t know how to grieve.

            *                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

            “And the UCAA Champion Bull Dogs soccer team was in the news today as star striker Heero Yuy was picked in the first round by the North American Wolverines.  The Wolverines are based in North American soccer mecca, New Jersey, and had second pick overall in the draft.  There are no details at this time as to what sort of contract the Wolverine club is negotiating with Mr. Yuy, but insiders are expecting…”

             

            Duo snapped the broadcast off as he heard the vidcomm in his office begin to ring.  He hurried down the short hallway.

            “Hey! Trowa, how are you man?”

            “The meeting is set for Tuesday morning, you going to be here?”

            Typical Trowa, Duo mused, right down to business. “Wouldn’t miss it.  How’s she doing?”

            “Better. Much better, especially considering….”

            “Yeah, I heard.  Man, I can only imagine. It’s got to be tearing Heero up.”

            Trowa nodded.  “He’ll hide it to his dying day, but yes, I’m sure it is.”

            “I’ll be arriving on a shuttle this evening.  I just have to make a phone call.  Hey, did ya hear, Heero was the number two pick in the first round.”

            “Yeah, makes me wonder who number one was.”

            “Team needed a defender.  Go figure.  You still got my uniform?”

            “Yeah.”

            “We’ll need another one, too,” Duo grinned.  “There’s going to be another guest at the party….”