Hating a Phoenix, Chapter 11

by: Firey Angelwings

~~~Hey everyone! I’m trying to get back into a normal schedule after all these events in the world. I don’t want to leave you hanging for too long, so I’ll do this chapter. We are getting some closer HYxRP moments, here!

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, the characters, blah, blah...

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Light shattered through the darkness of her eyelids. Her brain finally commanded wake up.

Relena opened her eyes.

She was lying under the dark green comforter on a large bed. The room was painted a pale beige. She was alone.

Relena shook her head, trying to clear the random thoughts and dizziness that were assaulting her. She tried, unsuccessfully, to remember where she was.

All at once, her body seemed too warm, and she threw off the blanket and stepped out of the bed. She walked up to a mirror, and gasped.

Her skin was far too pale; its normal hue was already very white, but now she looked like a ghost. There were dark circles under her eyes, which were still slightly bloodshot and blearly.

‘If my makeup artist could see me now.’ Relena thought wrily. She roughly scrubbed the heels of her palms into her eye sockets, trying to wake up.

After five minutes, Relena squared her shoulders in an effort to look assertive. She walked to the window and noticed the unmistakable huge shape of Wing Zero, kneeling on the grass.

Relena stared at the Gundam for a while, and then was suddenly alarmed when her limbs involuntarily twitched and shook. She tensed up, and then shaking stopped. Relena quickly dismissed it from her mind.

She crossed the room and walked through the door to enter a small kitchen, encountering Heero.

For a moment, the two only stared at each other, and Relena felt a twinge of embarassment at her current appearance. Heero finally spoke,

“So you’re awake. How are you feeling?”

Relena was slightly surprised at Heero’s inquiry about her condition, then cleared her throat and answered,

“Sort of dizzy, I guess.”

He nodded, and motioned for her to sit at the table, before he continued to the kitchen counter.

“You should eat something. That would account for the dizziness.”

Heero quickly and efficiently made her a sandwich and poured her a glass of orange juice. Relena murmured her thanks before he continued,

“This is my ‘retreat’. It’s on L1, but it’s pretty far from the city, so nobody can notice Zero.”

His guest nodded solemnly as she chewed thoughtfully. Heero sat down and they both were silent. When Relena finished the sandwich and began drinking the juice, something caught Heero’s eye. He reached forward and touched a pendant around her neck.

“Isn’t that...”

“A bullet?” Relena reached up to her necklace, their fingers briefly touching before Heero sat back. “Yes. I thought it was interesting, the bullet that killed Relena Peacecraft, so I kept it.” She regarded it thoughtfully. “I could probably auction it off. I bet it’s worth a lot.”

A corner of Heero’s mouth twitched up, but his mind was elsewhere. It took him a few minutes to fially ask,

“Relena.”

She looked up. He continued,

“About that...wing thing...”

Relena immediately understood. She interjected,

“Don’t worry about it. It’s nothing. When Pavey...you know...it was horrible beyond anything I could have imagined.” She sighed, wanting to vent her confusion. “But, it wasn’t like that before, when...you...”

She trailed off. Both of them had flashbacks to their encounter where Heero accidentally touched her wings.

Relena finished,

“I was just overwhelmed.”

Heero grunted his reply. Silence fell once again, until Relena gingerly began,

“Well, since you got to ask me something personal, it’s my turn.”

Heero’s eyes flicked up.

“I’ve always wanted to ask you...are you curious about your past. Before Dr J and everything? Like, are you curious about your parents, or if you have siblings?”

It was his turn to sigh, and he pondered his answer.

“I only think about that when I have nothing else to think about. And that doesn’t happen very often.”

**************

“Agreed Milliardo, man. We need to find her, and fast.”

The blond haired man nodded, his eyes closed. He was deep in thought about the whereabouts of his sister. And what he would do to one Perfect Soldier as soon as he got his ass back here...

A door slid open, and Noin and Hilde walked over to him and Duo. They inquired,

“What are you so deeply in discussion about, you two?”

Duo rolled his eyes before exclaiming,

“Relena, of course! Who knows what’s going on now! We’re talking about serious psychological damage, here!”

Noin shook her head slowly, before answering calmly,

“Relena is with Heero. Nothing will happen to her, as long as she’s with him.”

Hilde piped in,

“Besides, Lena needs some time alone, I guess. She kept telling me that.”

Milliardo spoke up,

“She isn’t alone if the Perfect Soldier is there.” His tone dripped with venom.

Duo chuckled lightly, before joking,

“Well, you wouldn’t notice. I mean, Heero talks like, never, so it would seem as though she was alone.”

The big brother glared before Noin took his hand and talked to him softly as she led him out the door.

Hilde sighed, then turned to follow them. Duo called,

“I don’t see the big deal around here, though.”

She whirled, suddenly infuriated.

“Duo Maxwell! How can you say that? You heard what Milliardo said before, what happened to Relena is horrible! You just don’t understand!”

Duo raised his hands in mock defeat, before stating,

“Or maybe she was just looking for an excuse to be alone with Heero, if you know what I mean.”

Hilde’s eyes widened as her anger crested.

Duo didn’t even see the slap coming until it was long gone. He could feel the outline of her hand painfully etched on his cheek. Hilde’s cheeks were red as she stormed out.

The braided pilot hung his head low, not understanding where he went wrong. Wasn’t honesty the best policy.

A small cough came from a darkened corner. Duo looked up and finally noticed...

“Quatre! Just the person I need! I have to get some advice...”

*************

Relena checked her watch for what seemed the fortieth time. She glanced at the sky, darkening.

‘He left to check on Wing Zero three hours ago! Talk about obsessed.’

The silver haired woman strode over to a table and picked up the closest book, devouring its contents.

It was fifteen minutes later when it happened. Her eyelids began to twitch painfully, and then her fingers began moving out of control. The book dropped to the floor as Relena’s whole body began contracting, causing her muscles to hurt excruciatingly.

In her confusion, Relena ran through the bedroom (the only bedroom, as Relena had discovered earlier) and into the adjoining bathroom. She hurriedly opened the medicine cabinet and was greeted with many small bottles of different pills. She read the names quickly and grabbed one marked ‘Valium’. Other bottles spilled into the sink. Relena took two pills as fast as she could.

Five minutes later, the shaking stopped completely. Relena was left standing in the bathroom, full of wonder. She began to clean up the spilled bottles. Once she was done, she had decided,

‘The shaking was just because of my trauma. There’s bound to be some side effects, right?’

Relena heard the door to the house opening, Heero had returned. She calmly left and met up with him in a long corridor.

He noticed her alarmed demeanour right away, and gave her a strange look. Relena caught it and panicked,

“What? What is wrong?”

Heero shrugged, already masking himself behind a wall of steel.

An hour later, Relena spoke up,

“You can have the bed. I’m fine, and I have no reason to keep you out of your own room--”

“Don’t even try it, Relena.” His voice was razor sharp.

“You are in no state to be sleeping on a couch.”

Relena protested immediately, until Heero stood and whipped out his gun.

“Don’t argue with me.”

She found herself staring down the muzzle of the gun. Relena grudgingly stood up and walked to the bedroom, closed the door.

Her mind was full of random thoughts.

‘What the hell? Imagine if all of society just held somebody at gunpoint when things didn’t go their way! But it’s Heero, right? I guess it’s his way of being hospitable. And I was being pretty bitchy before, I bet he’s really annoyed or something...’

On the other side of the door, Heero thought,

‘Something’s going on. There is something wrong, and she’s hiding it.’

************

Max Pavey strode back and forth in his office, something he did quite often, nowadays. He answered a phone, a look of obvious relief on his face.

“It’s about time you called me back. What I wanted to ask is...when are the symptoms supposed to show up?”

A pause, as the voice on the other end of the line answered back,

“Alright. Wonderful. Than you.”

He hung up the phone and sat in his chair. He muttered threateningly,

“Operation Lazuria...what a stroke of genius. Closing in on the snake, yes we are.”

*************

Hilde and Catherine were sitting in large easy chairs, clothed in bed clothes. There was nobody strolling the halls, asit was very late. They were deep in talk.

“Cathy, I’m just so angry. I can’t believe Duo can act like that. He’s normally so charming and sweet. We were even getting somewhere in our relationship. And now...”

Catherine shrugged her shoulders in mock defeat.

“Hilde, I don’t wanna give you advice, because I know it wouldn’t go too well. On this subject, all I have to say is to talk to Lena when she gets back. She’s the authority on relationships and you know it.”

Her friend nodded in affirmative, thinking on the topic of her best friend.

‘Lena, where are you? I hope you’re OK, and I know that Heero wouldn’t let anything happen but...it seems like everything falls apart when you’re away. It did when you were supposedly assassinated, and now the same thing is going on. We need you.’

*************

She bolted upright in bed, but didn’t stay that way for long, as the violent spasms overtook her body once more. She did her best to get out of bed and slowly made her way to the bathroom, having trouble walking because her legs kept seizing.

She reached for the familiar bottle of pills and took two more. As expected, the shaking went away in a matter of minutes. She was stuck in a permanent state of confusion.

‘As if enough hasn’t happened already. What’s going on?’

Relena reached for a bottle of Advil, to remove the migraine that was overtaking her brain. She took both bottles and hid them in the pockets of her clothes, hoping Heero wouldn’t notice their disappearance.

*************

Milliardo Peacecraft also sat upright in bed. Noin slept peacefully beside him, oblivious to his worry. His emotional connection to his sister was perking up again. He could sense a deep feeling of suffering emanating from her, and it was caused by the violation of the Phoenix taboo. But there was something else, another pain as well, he didn’t know where it came from.

“Relena. Take care of yourself.” He whispered softly.

*************

The next morning, Relena emerged from the bedroom even more pale than before. It looked like she had no blood in her face. This time, Heero was seriously alarmed.

“Relena, you look--”

“I know, I know.” She nodded. “I’m going to go out for a run. To get my blood flowing, hopefully.”

He nodded gravely, and watched her as Relena headed out the door. He called out,

“We do need to get back to Mars and the others you know.”

She stopped, a hand on the doorknob, then answered

“Yes. I just needed...a little time to think. Should we go...this evening?”

Heero answered in affirmative, and Relena was out the door.

She stretched her legs for a few minutes, then headed out in the direction of a faraway small forest, her mind very active.

‘Things...sure have changed. In a small amount of time. I have. After what Pavey did to me, I know that I’m a completely different person. But how, how could anybody want to bring pain like that on someone? Is that even human? Well, I have no right to say what is or isn’t human, because I’ve never been one. I’m just a good actress.’

Relena boosted into a faster pace.

‘Not that I’ve ever wanted to be human. I’ve always been proud of what I am, and I cannot imagine living without wings. I mean, not being able to fly? I’d feel so caged. How do Hilde, and Noin, and Heero do it?’

She jumped over a rock in her path.

‘Heero. He’s changing as well. He’s been so much warmer here than on Mars or anywhere else. And how do I feel about him? I can’t even decipher my own emotions. Everything used to be so clear.

Relena entered the forest, slowing slightly, heading towards the sound of a nearby stream.

‘And these...seizures. What is behind that? As far as I know, Phoenixes don’t have seizures.’

She halted by a small brook and knelt, examining the water. Slowly Relena drank a small amount, marvelling at the feeling of the cool water slipping down her throat.

Her hands began to shake.

‘Oh no! Not again!’

She quickly reached into her pocket and drew out the necessary pills, before heading back to the house.

*************

Duo walked with Quatre down a deserted corridor, discussing his behavior.

“You have to be more sensitive. I know honesty is a good policy, but you need to dance around the truth sometimes. Women don’t like to hear people talking about their friends in that way. And I’ll bet Hilde needs some reassurement, because she is very worried about Lena. The last thing she needs is somebody telling her that her friend disappeared just to go and sleep with some guy.”

The braided man hung his head, trying to make sense of his situation. He finally said,

“You are right. It makes sense. But I like to express my opinion!”

Quatre sighed, before repeating,

“Then express it at the right moment. At the right moment. And if there is no right moment, you have to decide what is more important: expressing that opinion or a good realtionship with a friend.”

Duo was at a loss for words. He nodded solemnly. Quatre continued,

“That’s about as much I can tell you. You need a woman’s point of view on your situation, and I’d suggest that you go and talk with Lena about this.”

“Lena?”

Quatre smiled sadly, then wondered,

‘Wherever she is. But I’m sure she’s OK. Heero, you’d better be taking goo care of her, because Milliardo is looking crazed.’

***********

When Relena returned, Heero glanced up, then commented,

“I guess the blood isn’t flowing, because you still look very pale.”

Relena smiled weakly as she answered,

“I’m fine. I know I look like a freak, but I’m fine.”

She leaned slightly against the counter. Relena analysed Heero, but then became very preoccupied on focusing on her breathing.

He noticed her stare, then stood up and said,

“Staring at something interesting?”

When she didn’t answer, Heero finally noticed the Relena was breathing very slowly. The white colour of her face was turning into a real slate grey.

Relena began to walk forward, but suddenly tripped over her own feet and stumbled forward. She immediately lost all the strength in her legs and began to fall.

Heero rushed forward and quickly grabbed Relena’s light body, stopping her descent to the floor. Her head fell forward, and her eyes were like slits under her eyelids. All of her silver hair fell out of the ponytail it was tied to. She looked up weakly and muttered,

“Thanks.”

He caught and held her gaze searching for what was wrong in her eyes. But Heero’s mind quickly stopped searching for answers, as he felt lost in the crimson depths of her eyes.

Relena felt like her skin was burning wherever he touched her, and she felt like there was nowhere to hid from his intent stare. A wave of warmth rushed over her.

‘I really should just kiss him. He’d never make the first move, I can tell.’

She leaned forward, but her eyes were already closed, and her body completely crumpled as Relena gave way to blackness.

************

A deep rumbling woke her up. The first thought that ran through her head was,

‘Damn it. Relena Artemis Peacecraft, you have passed out way to many times this week.’

She checked her surroundings and recognized the interior of a large shuttle, meant for carrying mobile suits.

Space. Such emptiness. This is where she belonged.

Relena picked upa movemen out of the corner of her eye, and saw Heero place a cool cloth on her forehead, as he spoke.

“We’re heading back to Mars. We’re almost there. Just lie down and rest.”

Her whole body felt surged with energy, however, and she sat up very quickly.

“No. I’ve been resting for way too long. I’m going to lose all my muscle and gain a thousand pounds before anyone actually tells me to do something.”

To her surprise, Heero shrugged and headed for the cockpit of the shuttle. She followed and sat in the co-captain’s seat. For a few moments, Relena just marvelled at view of Mars before her, until Heero finally demanded,

“What’s wrong with you, Relena?”

She wrinkled her brow and answered cooly,

“Just repercussions of trauma. I’ll be fine.”

Heero let out a snort of disbelief, but they were already docking, so it didn’t matter anymore.

************

The reunion of everyone was loud and noisy (except for Heero, of course), and everyone kept asking how she was feeling. Relena kept an eye on Heero, but was surprised to hear that he didn’t say anything of her recent collapse.

************

The next morning, there was a soft knock at the door to Relena’s chambers.

It was Trowa.

“Relena, sorry to bother you, but you have a private call.”

She smiled and gave her thanks. Relena returned to the main chamber and flicked the switch for a small screen on the wall. The face she encountered left her baffled.

“Dr. J?”

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~Finished September 19th, 2001.

~~~Sorry to end things like that, but it’s an irritating habit.

I hope you like the recent turn of events, and obviously, more Heero and Relena action. We are getting near to the big climax, so prepare yourselves.

I like to write most of my info in the notes section of my web page, so go there for details:

1: I am almost certain I’m doing a sequel. I’m brainstorming and mapping out the details.

2: I truly appreciate the letters of support I received from readers regarding the decease of four of my close friends in New York. I am very grateful, and I’m pumping this out for you!

3: Since we’re getting near the end, I you haven’t mailed me throughout 11 chapters, what are you waiting for? How can you be shy over the Internet? And besides, I have yet to write a nasty note, yet! I put a lot of work into this fic, and all you have to do is write me so I know what you think! Sheesh....

Much love,

Firey Angelwings