I'd like to take this time to mention that I do
not own Gundam Wing, heck I don't even own the real Neko, my step-brothers do.
Gundam Wing belongs to Sunrise Sotsu and it's creators. But on that subject,
I'd like to mention that Neko is, indeed, real. The circumstances surrounding
Neko, Relena, and Heero are based on actual events. No harm is intended to
anyone by the creation of this fic, and its distribution. I recieved no
compensation for writing it, either.
Special note: Please be kind. I haven't written
a fic that wasn't a song fic in so long, in fact I think the last one I wrote
was a Quatre/Cathy so please please please be gentle. And I'd like to warn you,
this story is long, it's sappy, and it's a cheesy romance. Please, be gentle.
Neko
By Desi Sky
"Neko..."
Relena sighed, lifting the cat off of some important documents for what seemed
to be the hundreth time that night. The cat insisted on being the center of
attention at that moment. Naturally, on the rare occasion that Relena did have
time, Neko wanted nothing to do with her, but for the other twenty-some odd
hours of the day, Neko was a perfectly loving and adoring pet. The kind every
child dreamed off. Neko had been a gift from Milliardo to Relena for her
eighteenth birthday, Relena wasn't exactly sure where Milliardo had gotten his
information, but Relena had always been more of a dog person than a cat person.
She supposed he had figured that a kitten might help her to relax, to settle
down. Whereas a puppy would be a bit more high strung.
Relena
didn't blaim her brother, he was just to busy to realize that she would have
prefered an animal that would constantly give her affection, she needed that.
She needed something to lie in bed with her at night and protect her. Even
though she was Relena Peacecraft, former Queen of the World and Vice Foreign
Minister, there was some part of her that still required affirmation that she
was lovable. Dogs could give that, cats couldn't.
"Neko,
please. Can you just entertain yourself for five minutes? That's really all I
ask. Just, five minutes." Relena pleaded, the cat took that as a sign that
she was rapidly giving up the fight and lunged onto the papers again. Relena
sighed and dropped him off of them. This small battle for power ensued for
another five minutes before they came to a comprimise in which Neko slept on
her lap and Relena petted him with one hand while working with the other. This
arrangment seemed to suit Neko just fine and he began making a reluctant
purring noise, that was the best she'd ever been able to get out of him. Necko
had never purred fully since Relena had owned him. She blaimed her poor animal
skills for that one.
A
few minutes later, there was a knock on the door.
"Yes,
what is it?" Relena said, quickly loosing patience, she was just barely
into a report on peace talks between a few different factions when the knocks
came. Her assistant, Alice, poked her head through the door.
"I'm
sorry miss, I told him you were busy but well, he insisted..." Alice said,
sounding nervous, as always.
"Who's
here Alice?" Relena asked,
"I
really didn't want to let him in, but well..." before Alice could finish,
the door was swung open and behind the meek assistant stood...
"Heero..."
Relena said, standing up. She was in such a state of shock that she totally
forgot about the beautiful black kitten on her lap, who had just reached a
euphorical sleep. Neko fell off of Relena's lap, landing on the floor with a
loud 'thud' that bespoke of a very un-feline like lack of grace. It was true,
Neko wasn't exactly a typical cat and often fell when he was just sitting, he
had coordination problems.
"Hello,
Relena." Heero replied in his normal monotone,
"You
may go, Alice." Relena said, excusing her assistant, after Heero stepped
inside Relena spoke, "Heero, I heard about what happened in
Bucharest..."
"Drop
it Relena. That's exactly why I'm here."
"But,
Heero, why would you come here? Isn't this the first place they'd look for
you?" Relena responded, not letting him pretend like it never happened.
Bucharest had been the site of the worst defeat Preventers forces had ever
suffered, it was also Heero's first official mission as a commanding officer.
"That's
exactly why I'm here. Is that a new cat?" he said, changing the subject
very suddenly, Relena was caught of guard and that was the only reason that she
began going with the new subject.
"Yes,
he was a gift from Milliardo for my birthday. His name is Neko."
"Neko...Only
you Relena, only you would name your cat 'cat.'" Heero said, almost
letting a touch of humor into his voice. In recent months, Heero had been
letting more and more of that through, never much at a time. But occasionally
he would say something that could be construed as humorous.
"Well,
what was I supposed to name him, Heero? Moses, Thomas?"
"I
don't know." he said, gently scratching the cat behind his ears. Neko
began purring full tilt at the touch. Relena was a little startled, she'd never
gotten that from him. What had Heero done differently?
"I'll
be staying here for a few weeks, a month at most." Heero said finally,
Relena had wondered when it would come to this. She had known he would need a
place to stay and lick his wounds, the only question had been where.
"Stay
as long as you need Heero, this place is always open to you." he nodded in
response and mearly kept on petting Neko.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Several
days had passed since Heero first came to the Sanc Palace. So far he mostly stayed in the room Relena
had lent him, but occasionally she would find him and Neko sitting in the
garden, always in the same place, always doing the same thing. Heero would be
sitting on a bench, staring off into space and Neko would run around chasing
butterflies, flowers, and his own tail until he finally got tired, then he'd
climb up into Heero's lap and sit there, purring while Heero absentmindedly
stroked Neko's head and back.
At
first, Relena thought that maybe Neko liked the attention of somebody who was
capable of spending all his waking hours with him, but after awhile, she had
come to understand that Heero needed Neko as much as Neko needed him. Neko was
starved for human affection, Heero was starved for love. This is how they had
come to form a mutual affection for one another, although Heero would never
admit to it.
Relena,
on the other hand, would have been lying if she'd told somebody that she wasn't
at all bothered by the situation. Heero had never been one for showing love or
affection, and here he was sleeping with an oversized, uncoordinated, ball of
fuzz on his chest every night. And a part of her was jealous. She would never
admit it, of course. She found it very irrational to be jealous of a cat.
Especially a cat like Neko, who was about as lovable in his own, rather
ridiculous way as it was legal for a cat to be. But she had always hoped that
one day she would be the one to bring out the part of Heero that was human, the
part that was capable of loving. She'd never imagined that a cat would beat her
to the punch.
All
during Heero's visit, Relena was kept overly busy by delegates and dignitaries
and meetings. She had been unable to clear her schedule on such short notice,
and as much as she would have liked to, she was unable to be at home for most
of the visit. She made an attempt to speak to Heero at least once in the day,
normally she stopped by his room on her way to bed. Normally Neko was there,
too. But one day he wasn't. After their normal, five minute long talk, Relena
finally broached the subject with Heero.
"Heero,"
she had said gently, "where's Neko?"
"You
mean he's not with you?" Heero responded, his usual monotone had a hint of
worry in it, "I thought that he was with you!"
"No,
why would he be with me?" she was aware she had answered his question with
a question, but didn't really care. She could see how nervous he was.
"I
hope he's ok." Heero said, jumping up and leaving the room. Relena found
him later, sitting on the sofa in one of the living rooms holding the same,
familiar black fuzz ball. It turned out that Neko had been accidently locked in
a closet by one of the maids. The poor maid had apologized profusely to Heero,
but he hadn't been paying attention. When she apologized to Relena, Relena told
her it was alright and sent her to bed. Then Relena walked up to Heero.
"You
love Neko, don't you Heero?" Relena said finally, breaking the icey
silence between the three. In response, Neko purred contentedly and snuggled up
to Heero. Heero said nothing.
"Heero?"
Relena said, pushing him for an answer. Finally Heero looked up at her, his big
prussian blue eyes staring, not at, but it seemed that they were looking right
through her.
"He
needs me." was his only response.
"Heero,"
Relena said, kneeling down until she was eye level with him, "You need to
feel like you're needed, don't you?" Heero didn't respond, but that was how
she knew she was getting warmer. "You need something to give your love to,
I can see that. And I can see that you need something to love you back. I know
you, Heero Yuy. You might not want to admit it, but we have an en,(Desi says: En is the Japanese word for a
life long karmic bond. Basically Relena is calling him a semi-soul mate if that
makes any sense) you can't deny that Heero, wherever we go we run into
eachother. Our paths always seem to cross. I know you as well as you know me.
So trust me now when I say that you need more than you allow yourself, you need
a human to love. It's wonderful that you've been able to care about Neko, but
you need a human." Now Relena knew she had gotten it exactly right,
because that's when Heero stood up and left the room. Leaving Relena to her
thoughts and the sinking feeling she'd just said something she would regret
later.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The
next day Heero announced he was leaving.
"But
where are you going, Heero?" Relena asked him after he told her.
"I'm
returning to the Preventers. It's time I accepted my defeat and atoned for
it." he replied evenly. "I'm trusting you not to interfere with
it."
Relena
was stunned, "This wouldn't have anything to do with...last night, would
it?" she said finally.
"I
was planning to leave yesterday morning. I've figured out how I can defeat
Risad, I owe it to the men who died to do this." He was right she
supposed, one of the men who had been there was Duo, thankfully, Duo hadn't
been killed in the uprising. He had, however, been put into a coma. Most
everyone else was at the hospital with him now, Heero hadn't been able to bring
himself to face his friends and Relena was going the next weekend. She
understood fully what he meant. He needed to avenge his friend. Especially
because of the reports that it had been a case of mistaken identity, that they
had meant to attack the commanding officer and Heero had tried to protect Duo,
therefore it was assumed Duo as in charge of the mission. She understood why
Heero would blaim himself.
"I
have just one favor to ask of you before you leave, Heero." Relena called
after him as he turned to go, "Tell me before you leave." it came out
as a plea, but she needed him to say goodbye this time. He nodded, but that was
no guarantee.
After
he left, Relena put her head down in her papers and started crying at her desk.
Why am I crying? she asked herself, Why? Why? Why? Why? He always leaves.
Always. This time I was so close. Why couldn't I just fall inlove with a normal
person? What's wrong with me? That was when it hit her, suddenly her tears
just stopped, she looked up at nobody in particular and said, "Oh my God,
I'm inlove with him." And that was the answer. It answered a question she
didn't even know she had asked. She felt her stomach start to tighten, she knew
she could never tell him. It would hurt to much, she knew he could never feel
the same about her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He
didn't say goodbye. She hadn't exactly expected that he would, but she had
hoped. It was to much for her fragile emotional state, she went into her
bedroom after she got the news and started punching and kicking the walls, her
bed, everything that couldn't possibly feel the pain.
"He...didn't...say...goodbye!"
She practically screamed, "He said goodbye to the damn cat, but not to me!
Why? What's wrong with me? Am I that ugly that he can't bring himself to care
about me as much as that stupid, ugly cat?" after about twenty minutes of
ranting like that, she threw herself on her bed and started crying. She cried
it all out, everything. All the injustice of it, the pain, the bitterness, the
heart break. About five minutes later her eyes were burning when she heard a
soft, quiet, meowing. She looked only to find Neko sitting on the bed next to
her, looking at her with big green eyes that bespoke of concern. Without even
thinking, Relena grabbed the cat and hugged it. He cuddled up to her and
started purring. Then Relena began weeping again over the cat. That was when
she began to see what Heero had seen in him.
"I
guess you are a real sweet heart, Neko. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Something inside of Relena screamed for her to love the cat. Heero had been
able to care for it, he couldn't bring himself to love anything, but he was
able to love Neko. That confused Relena, but at the same time it just made her
more determined than ever to learn what the cats secret was.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Over
the period of the next week, Relena had actually begun to see why Neko was so
special. Something about him just gave off an aura of acceptance. No matter
what she felt like he would always love her. He remained his clumsy, ungraceful
self, but that just made him all the more endearing.
Relena
went to visit Duo that weekend and left Neko in the care of the castle staff.
She had a good time, all of her friends were there and by the time she arrived
Duo had woken up. He was his normal, charming self. There was something very
endearing about Duo, something in him just bespake of a person who had so much
personality that he couldn't contain it all, she had watched as he and Hilde
raised havoc in the hospital and had been let in on their secret engagement.
She was naturally over joyed for both of them. It tugged at her heart a little
to see two people so happy with eachother, and yet she was still miserably
alone, but she didn't let it get in the way of her awe over them. They were
both wonderful, sparkling people who were passionate about eachother. She knew
that made for terrible fights and wonderful make ups, and she knew that both of
them could handle it.
When
she got home, Neko was overjoyed to see her even more than she was happy to see
him. Relena had recieved word in the hospital that Heero had returned to the
Preventers, and after being sent back to Bucharest he had destroyed the
uprising. But she was happy just with the knowledge that he was safe. When she
saw Neko again, the joy that she had felt in the hospital was replaced by
something else, it was a certain degree of maternal instinct. She had felt it
before, occasionally. But never had she felt it so strongly centered around a
single being. It felt wonderful. Neko was acting a little sluggish, so she took
him out side to play. He did his normal thing, he chased butterflies and
trampled flowers. Then he began running around in circles, chasing his tail.
Relena laughed at him a little, but after a few seconds it became obvious that
something was terribly wrong with Neko. Relena stood up and was about to go to
him when suddenly he fell over. Relena rushed over, only to find that Neko was
dead. A few days later, she would give a vet his symptoms and be told that he
had died of a stroke, which paralyzed one entire side of his body. The vet also
said that he had probably been having them for awhile, which would account for
his clumsiness.
Relena
was heart broken at the news, she had finally begun to love the cat only to
have him taken from her. He was really still just a baby when he died. No older
than three or four months. She had wept when she buried him in the garden, by the
bench where she remembered him and Heero sitting in the sun. She had no idea
what she was going to tell Heero. He would quite possibly be devastated. She
just couldn't bare the idea of what he would think.
Relena
didn't really have time to morn for the cat, she had meetings and appointments,
besides, Duo's problem took presedence in her mind when she did have time to
think. So really, she barely even remembered what had happened until three
weeks after the fact.
"Ma'm,
there's a call for you." Alice said one fateful day as she leaned through
the door. The slight quaver in her voice told Relena exactly who was calling.
"Patch
him through, Alice." Relena said, her own voice gaining a definate note of
nervousness to it. Alice nodded and slipped quietly back through the door.
Relena began smoothing all the creases out of her dress as the video phone
clicked on.
"Hello,
Relena." Heero said nonchalantly, almost as though he wasn't the one who
had called her.
"Hello,
Heero." Relena said, just as casually, needing time to be able to approach
the subject delicately.
"I
suppose you're wondering why I called," Heero said, again in his customary
monotone.
"Well,
yes the thought had crossed my mind." Relena replied, still trying to
sound casual.
"I'll
admit, I had duel reasons for calling. First I wanted to tell you that Duo is
out of the hospital. He asked me to tell everyone, because he and Hilde took an
extended vacation. Under the circumstances I figured it was the least I could
do." he said, still in his natural monotone.
"I'm
very glad to hear that, Heero." Relena said, letting her voice soften a
little, as it always did when she was happy. "What was the other
thing?"
"Secondly,"
he replied, as though she had never said anything, but when he started again,
this time his voice had something to it that she couldn't quite put her finger
on. "I wanted to thank you for opening your home to me last month. I was
hoping to come there and explain the situation to you, but I didn't want to
impose..."
"Of
course you can come!" Relena said happily, answering his question before
he had a chance to pose it. "You know you're welcome in my home at any
time." Heero bowed his head, then replied "Thank you, Relena. I'll
leave immediately." Then the connection was closed.
"Oh
my God!" Relena shrieked, jumping out of her chair, "I forgot to tell
him!" She now had the Perfect Soldier coming to her home, probably
expecting to see a cat that had died. "Oh no, what am I going to do?"
she asked nobody in particular, slumping down into her high backed chair.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The
next day, Heero arrived promptly at 4 o'clock. Relena met him in the living
room, unfortunately, the maid had misunderstood which living room and taken him
into the one that had housed the non-confrontation between them the last time
Heero came. When Relena met him and they sat down, she was about twice as
uncomfortable as she had hoped.
The
two of them made small talk for about twenty minutes before Relena finally
decided to come clean.
"Heero,"
Relena said finally, putting one hand over his, "I have something I have
to tell you about Neko." Heero looked at her, and before responding,
"I
have something to tell you about Neko, too." his voice held that strange
tone it had held the day before,
"Heero,
Neko is dead." Relena said flatly, deciding the best way to do this was
the straight forward way. "he died after you left, he had a defect in the
left part of his brain. It...gave him a stroke. He didn't make it. I'm
sorry."
Heero
just sat there, outwardly, he was totally unaffected by the entire scenario.
His eyes, however, told Relena a different story.
"I'd
like to see where he's buried, if you don't mind." He replied, his voice
back to it's natural state. Relena nodded, stood up, and quietly led him
outside. I can't believe how he's
reacting. This must be how he handles pain, by covering it up. But if that's
true, he must always be in pain some how. Oh Heero, why won't you ever let me
see your hurt?
"Here
it is." She said gently, stopping in front of the small memorial stone
that she had put over the grave. Heero knelt down on one knee and just stared
at it for the longest time, Relena was beginning to grow uncomfortable.
Finally, she crouched down beside him and put one slender arm around his back,
"Heero,
I'm sorry. I should have known sooner. If I'd ever just stopped to question his
clumsiness, he'd probably still be here. I don't know how I can ever make it up
to you." She was surprised when he didn't jerk away from either her words
or her arm, she had expected him to react differently.
"It
wasn't the cat, Relena. It was you." he said finally.
"I
know, I just said that. It was my fault." she said, getting a little
exasperated.
"No,
I mean it wasn't the cat I loved..." he left the rest unsaid, she could
figure the rest out for herself.
"Heero,
what are you..." he turned to her, silencing her by placing his pointer
finger gently over her lips, she was surprised by the watery look in his eyes
that came from unshed tears hiding just below the surface of his face,
"Don't
say anything yet, this is hard enough. Didn't you ever wonder why I always left
without saying goodbye?" he asked her, she had to admit she did, but
mearly nodded, wanting to hear this.
"I
knew as well as you did I couldn't have left if I'd seen you. I needed at least
half an hour to stop thinking about you, and if I hadn't stopped thinking about
you, I'd have never been able to go. You had to have known that. I could never
tell you how I felt. Don't you realize they would have ostracized you? The
Perfect Soldier and The Angel of Peace." here he snorted, "Don't you
realize that I would have destroyed you? Not intentionally, I could never hurt
you." at this he brought his hand from her lips and brushed her cheek gently,
Relena relished the very feel and tilted her head into his hand. "At first
I never understood why, that's why I wanted to kill you, if I could get rid of
the doubt I'd be perfect again. But you always got under my skin. I wanted to
love you so badly, but I don't deserve you, I never deserved you. Neko was my
one chance. He was your cat, by taking care of him and loving him it was like I
was loving you. Now that he is gone, we can't have a future. I don't know if I
can bare to be around you without the opportunity to love you, I'm sorry, but I
must go." Relena was to
shocked to move, or talk, or do much more than stare. She watched as he stood
up and began to leave, she knew she had to stop him, she had to tell him how
she felt, show him. She didn't know if she could bare the thought of life
without him. Finally, she managed to speak.
"Heero!
Wait!" she choked out. He turned and looked at her, the tears which he had
banished were still sitting in his eyes unshed, probably they never would be
shed, either. Relena stood up and looked at him, they just sat there, staring
at eachother for awhile, their eyes met for an instant and everything between
them that was thought and felt was understood, in that moment, Relena broke the
silence with the words, "Heero...I...I love you. Please, please don't
leave me again. I don't know if I can handle it. Please, stay, stay with me. I
promise I'll love you forever, just don't leave me. Not now, not ever,
please." Now Relena began shedding tears of her own, they filled her eyes
and overflowed, spilling down her ivory cheeks and landing on the ground at her
feet.
The
wind picked up, blowing her long blonde hair to the side, then something formed
itself inside Heero's eyes and his face did something it had never done before,
she watched as his face softened itself into an expression of...tenderness.
Then she smiled, she smiled through her tears.
"Heero..."
she said, walking towards him, going faster as she got closer to him.
"Relena..."
he said, rushing towards her.
They
met in an embrace, tears spilling down Relena's cheeks, but they had turned
into tears of happiness, Heero leaned down and kissed her, pressing his lips
against hers tenderly at first, but then with more force as she returned it.
The kiss lasted for what seemed like hours, but in reality, it was only a few
moments. It seemed like an eternity, like everything that Relena was, Heero
became, and vice versa. It was the kind of kiss where the world doesn't matter,
the sky could have begun falling to the ground in balls of fire and neither of
them would have been disturbed, it was the kiss that they had been waiting a
life time for. When they finally parted, they found that it had begun raining
ever so slightly, mostly just a spring mist, but they stood there, just looking
at eachother for the longest time.
Relena
spoke first, resting her head on Heero's shoulder, she closed her eyes and the
words really formed themselves, "Please, don't leave me." she said,
her tone pleading.
"I
don't know if I could now if I wanted to." Heero replied, his own voice a
little shakey.
"Relena,
look. I have about two weeks off, and after that I do have to go back to the
Preventers, but I was wondering if I could spend those weeks with you."
"I
would love that." Relena replied honestly, "I wish you could stay
longer."
"So
do I." he said, his chin resting on top of Relena's head, holding her
close to him. "But we'll see about that when it comes time for me to
leave. Let's go inside." he said, Relena was inclined to agree, since the
gentle spring rain from before was rapidly turning into a torrential downpour.
She couldn't help thinking about how much he'd changed since the last time he'd
been there, had it all been a result of Neko, or had he steadily been growing
up since they'd met? One thing was for certain though, Neko had played a large
role in it. For somebody who had died so young, he had brought a lot of joy to
her life, and he had ensured that both Heero and Relena would remain happy for
a very long time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When
Relena woke that night, Heero had yet to wake up. She considered waking him up,
but decided against it, after what had happened last night she couldn't say she
blaimed him for being tired. And she had something she needed to do, anyway.
She
got dressed and made her way downstairs, then she walked out into the garden
and returned to the grave. She knelt down and placed a few flowers on it, then
she spoke.
"Neko,
thank you. I don't know what came over Heero last night, but I know you had
something to do with it. I'm sorry I never appreciated you in life, you were
truly the perfect pet. You've earned a place in my heart and I'll always miss
you, sayonara, Neko." When she had finished her speech, Relena was about
to stand up when something caught her eye, it was like a wisp of smoke, only it
had no reason for being there. Then it hit Relena what it was, and she just sat
there, watching as it floated up into the air and then vanished.
"Neko..."
The End(or is it?)
__________________________________________________________
As I write these closing words, the real Neko is
at the vets, being treated for Feline Leukemia. The Neko in my story was a boy,
but the real one is a girl. She was portrayed as a boy, because for my purposes
a boy worked better. This story is dedicated to my Black Beauties, Siamekuku,
Moses, Thomas, Lady Une, and more recently, Neko. It's also dedicated to cats
like it and the people who love them. This story is borrowed from several
aspects of my personal life, to many of them to name. I'd like any feedback
that anyone feels like sending me. I know it was a sappy story, but it made me
feel better. Thank you just for reading it.