It’s Torture! (p)

Calliope

 

Disclaimer: If I owned Gundam wing would I be writing this?  No I’d be on a yot somewhere on the pacific sunbathing but I’m not I’m on an island somewhere in the pacific typing

 

Authoresses Note: I dunno where it came from I dunno how it happened

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            I guess you could call it a normal morning.  Normal, that is, depending on your definition of the word.  Let’s just say it was a normal morning in Quatre’s summerhouse somewhere in the Sahara.  I still haven’t figured out why the Winner’s have a summerhouse in the middle of a huge desert but what can ya do?  Anyway to get on with things: Duo is pouring syrup all over his pancakes and I really don’t think that as much syrup as he’s pouring right now going through your system can be very healthy,  Quatre’s drinking his tea, Trowa had to go help Cathy with something at the circus, Wufei is scowling, and I am drinking a steaming cup of coffee, black as midnight and strong enough to melt the hubcaps off of Zechs’s BMW.  Yeah I started calling him Zechs, everyone else does and it sort of just caught.  Whoops, I almost forgot, Mr. Imtheperfectsoldiersothatgivesmetherighttoalwaysactlikeihaveafreakingstickshovedupmyass Yuy is reading the paper.  I guess that’s pretty much a normal morning for anyone right? 

                Ok so forget the morning, let’s talk about why I’m here.  It all started with my thirty-second birthday party.  No, I’m not thirty-two I’m eighteen.  It was my thirty-second birthday party because that’s how long it lasted: 30 seconds.  Yep 30 seconds before an assassin held me at point blank range, dragged outside to a car, driven off to some old seaport where the guy would have shot me and thrown my body in the ocean if Mr. Imtheperfect-ah you know the rest, well anyway he broke the would-be assassin’s neck and tossed him in the river.  Of course me being the idiot I am just had to ask, “Did you have to kill him that way?  I’m mean couldn’t you have just shot him?” And then Mr. Perfect Soldier looked at me weird, shook his head, and pushed me back in the car.  Hey seeing somebody break somebody else’s neck is really gross ya know.  And to think Duo was grossed out when he saw Heero reset his own broken bones.  Thank god he wasn’t there.  Anyway we went back to the party, and of course all the guests were gone except for the Gundam pilots and my brother and Noin.  And of course Zechs exploded when I got back, he was all, “Thank GOD you’re alive!” and “Are you hurt?”  So then me, being the idiot I am said, “No, I’m fine Heero saved me.”  I knew my brother didn’t like Mr. Perfect Soldier and well saying that he saved me must have rubbed him the wrong way because he got all stiff and started talking about precautions to ensure my safety for the next month or so.  That’s how I ended up in the ultimate safe-house living with five men.  Can you spell torture?