DEAR DIARY

RELENA’S POV

Dear Diary,

I hate this world. I hate life. I hate love. I hate everything. Let it die like flowers in the wintertime.

This isn’t the Relena Peacecraft you see on t.v; this is the real Relena. The one with no specific last name. I am not the rich snob, Relena Darlin who chased after Heero Yuy. No way am I that childish anymore.

The people in this world need someone to look up to well that is not I. These people take me down with them when they are stuck, I’m too young for this.

All the people care about is themselves, I have no life, my life is being taken away by the people.

I walk up to my own podium to give a speech on my mind, on what I think and the people drag me down, so I can’t do as I will.

I hate war, yes war has brought me here, into this life, and I so miserably live through.

My Heero Yuy where is he, well I know where he is. He is dead. How is he dead, they killed him. Who are they? That scientist and his workers that’s who. Not only that but also love and me. I killed him. Yes, me.

Before I lost my mind like this Heero came back to me, he told me he loved me. Even though Dr. J didn't want him to, he was supposed to be the perfect soldier. I told him I loved him, too. We kissed for the first time, Heero wasn't really looking good, kind of tired and sad, so he went to sleep. I watched him sleep and crawled in the bed beside him. I loved him so much, he didn't deserve to die, and he shouldn't have came.

The next day it was raining, I woke up and I was still sleeping. Heero was gone, I guessed he would leave, or maybe he was in the kitchen. I got up and looked for him in the apartment, but he wasn't there. He didn't even leave a note. But I noticed something on the door, it definitely wasn't Heero's writing so I read it, Dear Relena, You have messed up Heero's mission, please report to Colony L1, when you get to the airport, two men in green army clothes will pick you up. You shouldn't have interfered. Dr. J'

I was so sad, I got dressed and got to the airport as fast as I could and got a flight. When I arrived, the two men appeared and I left with them. Saying nothing to anyone, just looking at my hands, and viewing the sights. When we arrived at a base, I got out standing behind the two men. They had sunglasses on, I didn't know why, they opened the door and a bright light hit my eyes so I couldn't see for a moment. Then I saw what I wished I had never seen. Heero's body perfectly still he was on an experiment table, lying there with his eyes closed. I ran to him, his body all bloody, his face perfectly clean, but pale way too pale. I put my hand on his chest searching for a heartbeat, but I found none. I checked for anything, a pulse, a breath, any signs of life, there was none. I guess I must have fainted, because I found myself at a hospital the next day.

Heero was actually dead, he was dead. I found out that he hadn't really been eating, the scientist stuck a whole bunch of needles in him, to change him back, but he loved me so he didn't want turn back. I couldn't go to the funeral after that it was too hard, I was having a nervous breakdown, repeating to myself that he wasn't dead. But the damn peoples and their problems, they needed me they pulled back trying to make me live through it. So people had the nerve to tell me that he was just a soldier.

I finally got some answers when I went to his grave. I put a million flowers and sat there talking to him or myself. I killed him. That is why I've come to the conclusion of my life, should I leave this diary the only thing I have left to show the world or should I burn it and take it with me to see Heero. I'll leave it here for my brother and sister in law to see. They live on Mars with a beautiful child, they love me, and they visit.

It wouldn't be right to take them on my downfall, they probably don't even know, but if they do they should be coming soon. So should the gundam pilots who live so far away, I know they are coming. So I will leave you diary. So I can be free.

I lick the knife that I have in my hand and trace it from the vein starting at my elbow; I will cut my wrists. Farewell Diary, I will finally be with my love, Heero Yuy.

Relena

After that Relena cut her wrists and let blood drip on the cover of her beloved Diary.

Author Notes: I am sooooooooooo depressed it isn't even funny, that is why I made this fic. I was supposed to try out for the Volleyball team, I was really looking forward to it since last year which was 7th grade.(Yea, I'm in 8th grade, now, but I'm a very mature 8th grader). I can't believe I chickened out, I could have made the time, but I held myself back, from reaching my top goal. As you know I'm getting ready to cry, but like usual I will try to hold myself back. Review if you want to of course.