Dead while Living

Chapter 7

It had been a week since Heero and Relena left the underground warehouse. Heero was living with Relena, but he wouldn’t eat anything, he wouldn’t talk to Relena, he wouldn’t even come out of his room. He just sat there in his room, while Relena would try to talk him into coming out. She didn’t want to order him out or force him to do anything he didn’t want to do, but she couldn’t help him this way. It was like he wasn’t there. It felt like he was dead. She knocked on his door again and said,

"Heero, please come out." But there was no answer. She taped it slightly and then whispered,

"Please." But still there was no movement. She put her back to the door and sat down leaning against it. She hugged her knees to her chest and looked down. Tears built up in her eyes and she wiped them away. She walked back to her room and looked out the window of her balcony. It was snowing and she ran outside on her balcony. She smiled and spinned around, trying to catch snow in her mouth. She hugged herself, trying to enjoy every minute of the snow and ignored the fact that she was freezing. She stopped spinning and put her hands on the ledge of the balcony and she put her head up to face the sky. She smiled to herself. ‘I wish I were with Heero, now." She thought then frowned. She looked down and saw the snow cover the ground like a blanket. She almost smiled until she saw someone lying in the snow. Her face looked shocked and then tears started in her eyes. She ran off the balcony, down the stairs, and out the door to the garden. She saw the figure lying in the ground.

"Heero." She said quietly. He was pale and blood was coming from on of his wrists. She ran to him and fell in the snow. She pulled him close to her and cradled him in her arms. His body was limp and blood was still running from his arm. He didn’t cut his main vein, so he wasn’t bleeding eternally.

"Heero, how could you do this?" She whispered as tears fell from her eyes. She put a hand on his chest to check if his heart was still going and it was. She sighed and ran for help.

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The servants and herself got to the hospital, then took him too the emergency room. The doctor said he would be okay, he just needed blood and luckily one of the servants had the same blood type. Relena sat next to Heero, trying not to cry out loud. She moved some hair out of his face and sniffed. 'I almost lost him again.' Relena thought. Heero groaned and opened his eyes slowly.

"Heero are you okay?" Relena asked. Heero looked at her, then stared at his hand. He had a bandage on his hand and he sighed, then closed his eyes again.

"Relena, why can't you just leave me alone?" Heero asked weakly. Relena looked at him shocked and whispered,

"What?" Heero smirked and looked her in the eyes.

"Don't you understand. I just want to die and get rid of all this pain." He said smiling at her and then he turned his eyes to his wrist.

"I don't want to be saved." Heero said coldly. Relena looked at him shocked and hurt. She hugged her knees to her chest and looked down.

"You want to leave me? You want me to be sad, Heero?" Relena whispered. Heero looked at her and she looked into his eyes, then she looked back at her knees.

"You can move on, Relena. You shouldn't love someone like me." Heero whispered.

"That isn't true." Relena whispered.

"Just leave me alone, Relena." Heero said coldly. He started to get up and Relena looked up.

"Heero, you should rest." Relena whispered.

"I don't want to." Heero said coldly.

"Please, Heero you have to res…" Relena started, but was interrupted by Heero.

"I said I didn't want to." He said it coldly with hatred in his voice. Relena stood up and when he was about to get off the bed, she pushed him down gently.

"You have to." He looked into her eyes and there was rage in his eyes. She looked at him still holding his shoulders.

"Get off of me." He said coldly. She shook her head and looked into his eyes in sad way. Heero fists were burning and he was trying to stop the urge of hitting her. She looked down and saw him clench his fists.

"Heero calm down." Relena said in a scared voice.

"Get off of me, now." He said his voice was dead cold.

"Why are you acting like this, I just want to help you?" She whispered.

"I don't want help. I want out." He said in rage. He closed his eyes and sat up, then opened his eyes again. He opened his eyes and looked into her scared eyes, with a death glare.

"Stay away from me, Relena." He said.

"No. No. No." She said and held her head in frustration.

"Why won't you listen to me?" Heero asked in frustration.

"Because I love you, I love you so much." Relena said and looked down.

"No you don't." Heero said coldly. She looked into his eyes and whispered,

"Yes, I do."

"I hate you." Heero said. Relena looked at him shocked and touched his face delicately. He stared at her intently and she put her hands around his neck. She put her check against his and whispered in his ear.

"I don't care, I love you." This made him feel all weird inside. 'What is she trying to do?' Heero thought. Relena knew she was doing all the wrong things. After everything that happened he probably thought she was seducing him or something.

"Let go, Relena. How could you hold a dead person?" He said coldly.

"Like this." She said calmly. Heero wanted to get out of the hospital, go anywhere where he could be away from Relena. He pulled her away from him and got up. He was about to walk out the door, when someone grabbed his hand. (He didn't have hospital clothes on, because they didn't have time to change him into hospital clothes.)

"Heero stop running away from me. Please, you aren't dead yet." Relena said sadly.

"Relena, I can take care of myself." He said and tried to make her let go. She didn't and he turned around punched her in the face. She looked at him shocked and he looked at her in rage. Tears started in her eyes and she let go of his hand. He ran out the door and outside into the snow. Relena started to cry and he heard her whisper,

"Please, don't leave me Heero. I don't want to die." But he left anyway. He left the only one he loved, to mourn.

"Relena, I'm so sorry." He whispered into the night and ran towards the nearest bar. One solitary tear ran down his cheek onto the delicate snow.

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A/N: Now that was angst. No one said it would be easy to get Heero back to normal. Well I'm going to write the last chapter today. This wasn't the last chapter. No more, jade and those other people. Oh yeah, Merry Christmas, everyone. The last chapter will be out soon. No one is reviewing. I wrote chapter 5 and only 5 people reviewed, then 10 reviewed chapter 6 and that means most people didn't read chapter 5. Oh well. Hey Pixie ^A^ and all my other beautiful reviewers, like Relena 7272. Bye or JA NE.