I do not own Gundam Wing.  This fan fiction has no commercial value and I am not making any kind of profit or income off of this.  

Chapter 16

 

            A knock sounded on the door to her hotel room.  She groaned and sat up in bed.  “I need to get an apartment soon,” she grumbled as she padded over to the door.

            Relena looked through the peephole to see…”Heero!  What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be in the hospital!”

            “I need to talk to you Relena,” He shouted through the door, loud enough for the whole floor to hear.

“If you’re on official business, I’ve already told you people to talk to my attorney!” She said firmly, trying to ignore the way her heartbeat had sped up at the sight of him.

            “Relena, it’s more personal. Let me in,” he growled.

            “I don’t have anything to say to you or the Bureau, Heero.  It’s late, and I’d rather you just leave.”  Her heart cried out against the words, but she forced those feelings aside.   “He doesn’t care,” she told herself.

            “I can’t do that, Relena.  Open this door,” he said, his voice sounding grimly determined.

            “I told you that all FBI business should be taken up with my lawyer,” she said defiantly and turned away.

            Frustrated, Heero pulled something out of his jacket pocket and kneeled down.  Relena thought that he had taken the hint, and left.  Slowly, she started to walk back to her bed, when she heard a shuffling noise coming from the floor.  She turned and looked down; a small white envelope with her name written in a familiar scrawl caught her eye. 

Curious, she bent down and picked it up, turning the packet over in her hand before opening it. 

 

            Dear Relena,

            I’ve always been a man of very few words, but despite our differences in the most recent past, I love you with all the heart I never had to give…

 

            Relena swung the door open, and Heero stood up and moved forward, taking in the sight before him. Relena stood there in pale pink pajamas with tears welling in her eyes, threatening to fall down pallid cheeks.  She brought her hand up to cover her mouth as she choked back a sob. The look of pain on her face was unmistakable, and he moved to take the woman that would always be that sixteen year-old girl to his heart into his arms in a gesture of comfort.  But she turned away.

            “Relena…” He said, struggling to keep his voice even while his mind reeled from her rejection.

            “Why?  Why this? Why me? Why everything? I don’t understand what I’ve done to have all this thrown onto my shoulders. I can’t handle this, too.  I just can’t.” She said, gaining control of her emotions and turning back to face him.

            “Relena, I can’t answer that, but I do need an answer to take back to Treize,” Heero said flatly.

            “Yeah, and I’m sure I know what you want me to say,” she said bitterly.

            “No, I don’t think you do,” he replied seriously.  Something flickered in his eyes for a moment, but it passed quickly.

            “Oh as if you care.  You’ve certainly never said as much in all the time I’ve known you…” Her voice had taken on an angry tone, but then it softened wistfully, “or thought I knew you…”

            “I’m not allowed to say anything to sway your decision, Relena.  If Treize were to find out I said anything for or against you marrying Trowa - at this point, I’d probably be suspended.  But I do care Relena...” I’ve always loved you. He wanted to say the words, but they wouldn’t come.

            “I could start over - a whole new life…” She said softly, her face set in a thoughtful expression.

            “Relena,” Heero’s voice held only a hint of warning, despite the fact his duty and his emotions clashed in an intense internal battle.  “You know that’s no reason to marry someone.  It won’t make you happy.”

            “And nothing about my life has ever made me happy, Heero.  Everyone’s always thought my life was so perfect - the daughter of a wealthy politician.  And look at me!” she shouted.  “Look at this mess!  You people want me to testify against my brother, when he and my father are the only ones who have ever cared for me.  You, your FBI - what have you done but use me to get to the people that love me?”

            Heero hated himself for what he was about to say, but she had the right to know.  He couldn’t look her in the eyes; instead he focused on the stained and tattered carpet of the insipid hotel room.  “I know this will probably make you hate me, Relena…but your brother and Trowa were using you, too.”

            Relena gasped and turned pale. “You’re lying!  What is that you want from me, now, Heero?”

            “Listen to me!” he shouted and glared at her.  “Zeches and Dorothy set you up with Trowa to send signals back and forth that were untraceable.  Your father even approved until he saw those pictures that Treize doctored, and thought that Trowa had double-crossed Zeches.  You were their pawn all along, Relena.  They don’t deserve your protection!”

            “No!” she yelled, shaking her head, and refusing to let the words sink into her heart.  “I don’t believe you.  You’re lying,” she said softly, trying to keep her tears at bay.  His eyes glittered with sincerity, but she knew better than to trust her supposed instincts anymore.  It was the same feeling in the pit of her stomach that had deceived her the night she spent with him… Anger flared and hardened her resolve.

“Get out.”  Her light blue eyes glared up at him.

He knew he had stretched what was left of his credibility too thin.  She didn’t believe that he cared, and he couldn’t find the words to make her understand.  He had spent the last ten years pushing away his emotions – not wanting to feel the heartbreak of having to leave the only two people who had ever cared about him, his brother and his…Relena.  But Duo had been right; he was making the same mistake all over again – letting someone else decide what was best for her regardless of their feelings for one another.  It may cost him his job, but he couldn’t just walk away.  “I’m not leaving until you tell me you’re not going to marry him.”

            “Get out!”

            Heero crossed his arms defiantly.  Relena took a step forward, and pushed him backward towards the door.  He caught himself, but she kept shoving, her anger fueling her strength.  “Relena,” he said trying to steady himself as her fists pummeled into the tender wounds on his chest.

            “Get out!”

            “Not until I hear what I came for!”

            “And what was that, Heero?  What did you want me to say?”

            “Say you won’t marry him.  I don’t care if that’s the only way he’ll take the deal, we’ll find a way to prosecute Zeches and Quinze without him!” His blue eyes were a mixture of pain and fury, just like his voice.  “I don’t want…” he started to yell, then softened as he looked at her, truly saw her and her strength for what it was, and had always admired.  “I won’t lose you.”

            Pain, like a knife stabbing her heart seared her chest.  But she pushed it away ruthlessly.  “Perhaps that would have meant something before, but I can’t believe you now.  I don’t believe in anything anymore.  Now, get out.”       

*          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

            Duo groaned and sat up.  He was in a hospital bed, again.  Why was his head pounding like that?  He wiped a hand over his face and tried to concentrate.  Suddenly, it all came rushing back to him.

           

            Duo started to drive over to Relena’s hotel, but his conscience was nagging him the whole way over there.  Before he knocked on her door, he lost his nerve and went back to the hospital. More internal debate ensued, but he finally gathered the courage to tell Heero about the situation.

            “He’s threatening not to take the deal unless she agrees to go with him, which means marriage – you know the rules.”

            Heero closed his eyes tightly, little wrinkles forming at the corners from the muscle contraction. Duo was sympathetic, but continued.

            “Treize is pissed.  He’s blaming you, of course, for suggesting he offer the deal to Trowa.  But he agreed that we should inform her in a very neutral manner.” He reached into his pocket and produced an envelope with Relena’s name written in Trowa’s even handwriting.  “This is Trowa’s explanation – my instructions were to deliver it and bring back an answer.”

            “So what does that have to do with me?”  Heero asked, his face deathly pale – his expression stricken.

            “Oh come on!” Duo yelled, suddenly very angry.  “You can lie to everyone else, Heero, even yourself, but not me.  I was there that day – the day she saved you from yourself, and the day you let her go!  I vowed to never step aside again, and I’m keeping that promise.  You may never get another chance!”  Violet eyes danced with a blazing fury directed solely at his friend’s cold behavior.  “You know you don’t want her to walk out of your life forever.  Come with me.”

            “No, Duo.  It’s not appropriate…If Treize found out you let me go with you, we’d both be in trouble.  You’ve stuck your neck out too far for me already.  Besides,” he said flatly, waving an arm at the room around them, “the doctors won’t release me.”

            Duo had to turn away from the calm expression on his friend’s face.  He was going to be sick – the stupid fool was going to lose the only woman that would ever put up with his moody, insensitive, emotionally scarred bullshit.  “Well, I’m still going to try…” he said to himself and started to walk to the door.  But he blacked out before he ever opened it.

 

            “Why?” Duo wondered, and ran his hand through his bangs and continued the movement to the back of his head.  “Ow!” He exclaimed as his fingers raked over a large bump on his skull.  “Oh, gee Heero…” he laughed.  “Son of a bitch hit me over the head to take his place in here while he went to see her,” he mused.  “Smart guy,” he smirked, “but payback is gonna be hell.”  He placed his hands behind his head, and fell back into the pillows.  Grabbing up the remote, Duo flicked through some channels before deciding on Monday Night Football.  He looked over at the buttons on the side of his bed and grinned.  “Oh, nursy…I think it’s time for my sponge bath,” He chuckled for a moment then sobered.  “I hope you’re pouring your heart out to her right now, Heero – unlikely, I know – but for once in your life, I hope you’re getting it right.”  He sighed and went back to watching the football game.