* warning*: Gundam does not belong to me. Uh….this took place in the early 1700’s. this was my history project where I was suppose to be a journalist who goes to America to write how it was like there. *grin* so, you’ll learn some facts about that specific time. hee….hee…I got an A on this report! sowwie it’s soo long and boring!

March 21, 1705

Dear Journal,

The American colonies, as I’ve heard is quite splendid, yet primitive. The ship was fairly unbearable and cold. My…almost everyone aboard was sneezing and coughing! Once I had arrived, the sight of land was my greatest imagination, after spending a few weeks on board a rough ship, I must say. The people there were most kind to me as I stepped out, with generous hearts they had, they offered me a place to stay. I may have gone to America, but it never crossed my mind that I wouldn’t have a place to stay. That must have been my fault of course. Such carelessness could bring up a lot of trouble I suppose. The weather by the coast was just as terrible as on board!

Although the people who had accepted me to stay, lived further inland, which I was pleased to hear. I saw many strange faces, which I suppose must be the savage Indians. Such a pity to have fought them, in my opinion, we should have made a treaty instead of just brutally pushing them off the land. Then, I thought about it again, some of the Indians did agree with the treaties, but not that much. Mrs. Yuy was kind and gentle, much more than I may imagine. My mother always told me of stories about the people who lived in the colonies. She mentioned many times, that their manners were quite disagreeable. In my case, Mrs. Yuy is perfectly civil. Her son, she quite often mentioned, was not present, so I did not have the delight of meeting him. She also referred that she had many other children, but he was the only one at my age.

I had also learned that Mrs. Yuy owned a farm, which supplies the town provision. Once I met with Mr. Yuy, he had told me that he had always wanted a farm and lots of children to help out with the business. He had pronounced that he was exceedingly grateful of his fate, but most of the time, he just talked about his son, like Mrs. Yuy. I thought that was strange, that they had both talked about their same child out of five children. Mrs. Yuy always said that he was the utmost obedient child she ahs ever had and handsome too.

To my luxury, Mrs. Yuy offered me a room of my own and told me to stay as long as I needed to do my report of how life was like here. Of course, I had to tell Mrs. Yuy why I was there, due to her questioning me of why I’d come here without a single escort. She warned me not to cross the border, because some Indians might come to attack, because of their homes that we had taken.

Always & Truly,

Relena Peacecraft

March 22, 1705

Dear Journal,

How lucky I was to have met their children the very next morning. Due to my weariness, I slept the entire day without eating supper with them. What a pleasure it was, the children were so respectful in my view. Oh dear! And Heero Yuy! He was so courteous! Such an acquaintance I shall remember! Although, he was so quiet and mysterious. His beloved sisters were just adorable! Catherine had the purest of green eyes! Dorothy was graceful especially when I heard her lovely voice; I learnt that she enjoyed singing. Ah…and who can forget Miss Hilde, such a smart girl! I have taken notice of all the books in her room. Sally of course, was the quietest among them, such a pity; I would have learnt more about her.

Heero was the only one not busily asking me questions, yet I kept an eye on him. Mr. Yuy was not present that day, due to some trading with merchants. Mrs. Yuy suggested going to a shop by the coast to hear the latest news brought by the tradesmen. I, of course, only wanted to buy china as a gift for Mrs. Yuy for her hospitality. All the girls went, although Heero wanted to stay back so he could finish some of the farm work that needed to be done. The store and the tavern were connected and it was quite busy with the incoming customers. Luckily, a man had given up his table for us ladies to sit. We only stayed there for a couple of hours and left. Mr. Yuy had returned by then, telling of all the products he had gained by trading some of the farm animals and extra crops.

He asked me if I would like to join with him the next day, so my report would be more accurate. Mrs. Yuy just haughtily laughed at his expense, because he tens to exasperate things so very often. I noticed that Heero wasn’t laughing but staring intently at me. Dearest, I must say, he had sapphire eyes unlike his family. His looks were much different of Mr. and Mrs. Yuy’s. I wonder if he was adopted, I must not ask, because I was too improper to do so.

Finally, Mrs. Smith announced that there was to be a ball at the Mathew’s mansion. The date was set on May. I was astonished to hear balls being held I America. In my opinion, the Yuy’s were somewhat rich, but why would they live on a farm rather than a mansion? I was confused at the moment, but disregarded it the next minute. It was indecent to think ill of a family who gave you an obliging accommodation. It seemed as if they barely did any work themselves. In England, farmers there have trouble with having time for themselves or for celebrating. How very odd I thought. I wanted to ask to satisfy my curiosity, but as my mother said, "Curiosity may get you into much trouble."

Always & Truly,

Relena Peacecraft

May 1, 1705

Dear Journal,

Oh! Heero Yuy! What a splendid fellow he is! I felt so unaccompanied going to the ball by myself, but he came along and asked me if he could escort me! I was so astonished, yet couldn’t reply. Only a blush befell on my face and he took it as a yes. I wore the best dress I had with pride walking next to an amiable young gentleman. Ah…the wonders, I’d never known that so many people would be able to attend. My suspicions arouse, when the Maxwell’s approached us with great courtesy. I thought they’d never pay any attention to some farmers or to even invite them to such a ball. I wondered why they had admired the Yuy’s more dearly than the rest of the superior guests.

He may be a farmer, but his waltzing was excellent! Such talent I never encountered ever in England. No, they are not savages or uncivilized people, but more of gentlemen like than in England, in my thesis. After dancing, we walked outside in the garden to get some fresh air I suppose. We sat on a secluded bench where we talked of various things. We even agreed on the partial of the Indians and their homes. We both knew that they should have made a treaty rather than fight in such hatred.

In the weeks I have known Heero, I never knew that he could talk that much with anyone! He said that Mr. Yuy tried to have a healthy relationship with the Indians by trading, unfortunately, it did not work as expected. He told me most Indians fought having to end in fighting for nothing, so some Indians just accepted their fate. Heero also told me that commerce was sometimes difficult to them, but this year was different considering the new routes and roads for the merchants and traders to thrive upon. He also mentioned when I first arrived, he watched me sleep. It was getting quite late, so he ended our conversation by asking me if I’d like to come to the fairgrounds with him on Saturday, the seventh of July. I was delighted and evidently said yes to his offer. How handsome he was in the moonlight as we walked towards the mansion in a loving silence.

Always & Truly,

Relena Peacecraft

July 7, 1705

Dear Journal,

My beloved Heero took me to the fairgrounds today. I admire him so. He won a small prize for me, a brown bear. Oh…he won many prizes, but I valued the bear the most for he gave it to me most sincerely as he blushed. It was the first time I ever saw him blush, how charming it was. We walked around going on rides and such, while watching the little eager children racing around the place boasting about heir latest prizes. He also got me some cotton candy that we shared together, it was remarkably whimsical when he had gotten a piece of cotton candy on his nose, oh…how I laughed at him until my stomach ached with pain!

When we got out, I finally had the courage to ask him about my suspicions politely of course. Not that I had such right to know, but just to satisfy my curiosity of course. He was considerably startled when I asked, but answered with ease. I listened carefully to the worse as I always did. So my suspicions proved correct! He did come from a rich family. Their real house was the mansion and the farm belonged to the Maxwell’s, they only traded houses. I was amazed to see why a rich family would want to try to live on a farm! He explained that they had made a bet that if Mr. Yuy could try living on a farm, perhaps a girl should come along, and Heero shall be married by her love and not in vain. And if they failed, they’d lose the Maxwell’s respect. At first he was reluctant to follow through with is disguise, though he did considering his father’s constant pestering about not being married at the age of seventeen. So I was the girl who they’ve been waiting for, I assume. If he did love me he would have confessed to me already. If only I had known this masquerade that they were playing all this time. I felt more humiliated and foolish than ever. Just to lure me to marry Heero, they acted polite and kind. Perhaps my love for Heero is false also. For now I am in despair, not knowing really what to think of. For the rest of the walk home, we walked in a tense air.

When we arrived at the Yuy’s home, we were greeted with great pleasure. Mrs. Yuy had started conversing once more about Mrs. Noin and how they were going west as frontiers. She told of how Mrs. Noin is taking such a risk on going west with no party, but her family. Mrs. Yuy told ill of how hard it was to live and start over with barely anyone living with them. Even about the Indians and their trickery or how little luxury they will have staying as frontiers. I wasn’t really listening tot he rest Mrs. Yuy hat to say, considering that I had just heard significant news about their masquerade. I had excused myself from the family. I, without a doubt, felt Heero’s gaze upon me, but I disregarded it. How miserable I felt that day.

Always & Truly,

Relena Peacecraft

July 10, 1705

Dear Journal,

The Yuy’s have learnt of my knowledge and apologized quickly and tried to explain to what had happened. It was never intended to hurt anyone. But they were wrong it did hurt someone, it hurt me. I was even more humiliated, to having being known to be the one fooled. Aye, I knew something was wrong, but I couldn’t pin point it. It was too late for them to try to apologize, I already locked myself in my room to just think of what to say. I had not eaten in days; my bones are starting to show on my cheeks. All day long, I’d hold my only luxury, my bear that he had won for me. I kept on wondering if he did really love me or was he just acting like he was suppose to? It preoccupied me for several days. He had not once come to apologize; he was the only one who never came to my door to ask if I was feeling all right. I was just angry wit myself for even being more foolish, why should he apologize if he never wanted to do this conspiracy anyway?

A fool I am. I am more foolish than I thought I was. As I have know slaves did the real work. I was so ashamed to be a part of it. I was dearly ashamed and I often wanted to pack up and leave. The slaves have endured so many hardships and they had to stay to my knowledge, about five to seven years to able to get proper food, clothing, and shelter. Of course in England I had servants (slaves), but I paid them and treated them as equals. Finally I made my decision; I was gong to leave this horrible place of deception! Right then, I started packing all my clothing and belongings. At last, I came upon that beloved bear…I didn’t know whether to leave it or to keep it. I opened the door and walked out. As soon as I did, four young girls jumped on me, hugging me with all their might. I then felt guilty of my decision. Mr. and Mrs. Yuy looked so hopeful then. I had no choice. I stayed.

In the corner of the room, stood Heero. His arms were crossed and he was leaning on the wall. The corners of his mouth became a smirk. He must have known all along, I’d do this. I felt a blush coming, but I quickly looked away before he saw it. I had learnt to forgive them for their deception. Why the Maxwell’s even came to apologize for such a scam. I was quite speechless when I found out that the Yuy’s were not only rich but were the richest family in the community! No wonder the Maxwell’s gave great respect to the Yuy’s at the ball. When I thought about, the community I was surrounded by was mostly of wealthy people compared to others that I have observed. By the next day, the entire town people took it upon themselves to apologize. I knew right then that this community was as close as it got.

Always & Truly,

Relena Peacecraft

December 2, 1705

Dear Journal,

Heero has taken upon himself to bring me to go ice-skating. How refreshing it will be, to once again ice-skate in the winter. It was my favorite hobby during the winter to go ice-skating. I am not one of those professional ice-skaters, but I still enjoy it anyhow. We went to the nearest ice-skating area. Over there, I saw many of the community people having a joyous time with their children or husband/wife. I envied the, for I was already 16, and had not once had a love in my life.

Heero on the other hand did not know how to ice-skate one bit. I had to teach him step by step, although it was satisfying seeing him fall every now and then. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. As the days passed, I realized that I thought about him more than I wanted to. He was the only man who ever came close to me. My mother and father always forbid me to even having a friend of the opposite sex, until I was at the proper age. It never occurred to them that they’d die right before I turned sixteen. Many people pitied me all the same. The only thing I had to hang on was my intelligence, which got me through college and here.

Heero had finally gotten the trick of how to ice-skate and was now to my surprise, better than I was. I suppose he learns things respectably quick in my conclusion. Sometimes I think that he should go and talk to the other more handsome ladies than to me. Such a fool I am to try to pursue him when he obviously only wants us to be friends. I mean I have no connections or lots of money. When everyone had gone, we packed our belongings and set off home. We talked more than we did before and we were more comfortable with each other. I was surprised once more to find out that he was adopted to the Yuy’s family. He wasn’t their first child, but last, although he was the oldest. His parents had died during the plague of the small pox. The Yuy’s gladly took him in as their own, considering they they’ve always wanted a son.

I couldn’t believe my ears, Heero actually told me a secret that was so painful for him. I saw the tears that were about to spring out of his eyes, but they never left. For just telling me this, he has made me love him even more than possible. The very next day, Heero fell ill with a fever. I was afraid of what might happen next. I was filled with guilt for dragging him out to the cold for just my benefit! How awful this is, I just hope it passes away soon.

Always & Truly,

Relena Peacecraft

January 29, 1706

Dear Journal,

It’s been a month or so and Heero has still been sick. Now the best of doctors assume that now it isn’t just a small little fever, but some sort of disease. I was in the state of shock. I started crying right then and there, not one of those loud cries. I cried silently in front of the entire household. The Yuy’s and Maxwell’s had now traded houses. At the moment I cried Heero ordered everyone to leave. They obeyed and left me with him, alone. I didn’t know what to do at that point. A few minutes of silence befell on us. Finally Heero held my hand gently and smiled sadly.

This is what I must quote from what he had said, "My dear Lena, you have been a woman of great acquaintance. You are of importance to me. As you may know, I may be dying, but dying won’t keep me from saying this. I love you, Lena. I didn’t pay a lot of attention to you, but now that I know you, I am hopelessly in love with you. Although I hope you grant my last wish for me. Will you do me the honors of marrying a dying fool?" I was robbed of my voice. I was in shock once more and nodded. I felt numb. I couldn’t believe it! He actually loves me! I couldn’t thing of anything, but of what he said. My heart was just pounding in my chest. I didn’t know how to express how happy I felt, but he already knew. In my head, I wondered how the wedding was going to be like. I, of course, didn’t have any living relatives. I soon thought about it no more. For the rest of the day, I just sat there by his side, until we both fell asleep. What an exhausting day it has been. I am physically and emotionally tired. I’ve decided that our marriage will be made as soon as possible, because I want him to be my husband as long as conceivable. I do not understand myself sometimes, he is not really that special, but somehow I fell in love with him.

Always & Truly,

Relena soon-to-be Yuy

February 15, 1706

Dear Journal,

Ah…my wedding day. Such a wonderful day and the best day of my life! Everyone was stressing over preparing the wedding in such a limited time, but I made sure that Heero had none of it. His condition had become worse, I might add. Indeed, it is horrible, but I try to be happy. Seeing him in pain is my nightmare. Why? I always ask that same question, why is that whenever someone gets close they die? I love him so much, just a smile and he can make my heart skip a beat.

Most of the time I spend the day just staring at his sleeping form. He looked so peaceful and tranquil when he slept. Of course, his life is running short and I am afraid of the inevitable. I hope will live longer than the doctors expect. As I walked won the aisle on my wedding day, I saw him smile weakly. I smiled at him sadly and I fell in love with him all over again. I wore a creamy satin dress with a flowery garland. The wedding was quite simple; everyone was to be invited, whether they were rich or poor. To my astonishment the entire community was there. Of course we were in such a small town, everyone would have heard about the invitations to our wedding. It didn’t matter to me who came; it’s just my life for him and is for me. When we did our vows, I felt complete and warm. All through the day, all I though of was him and how I appreciated him being there. I knew most of the time he couldn’t even stand; he had struggled all this pain to marry me, standing. I didn’t care about his money or title, even if he was truly a farmer; I’d still love him none the less, because that’s how I met him.

I suppose I should be grateful for their masquerade, after all it did unite us together, now I realized that Heero wasn’t really acting. He was truly acting the way he would be if there was no trading of houses or exchange of statuses. I feel blessed with such a husband. I will know that if he does die, he will always, always live on in me. I was even surprised to see Heero dancing with me, without coughing violently. I know that is one dance I will everlastingly remember and cherish until the very end. His sisters and parents gladly took me in as a sister and a daughter. Such love. I know now that my really may have died, but this is my family now, with Heero. All the guests were cheering after we finished dancing. I felt a blush coming up, and I looked Heero he was also blushing. Although the only pain of this was the fact that he couldn’t ever kiss me, or vice versa, ever. I disobeyed and kissed him. I didn’t care if I got sick; I was blushing more wildly, because that was my first kiss.

Always & Truly,

Relena Yuy

March 21, 1706

Dear Journal,

Today is the day we met or he met me. What a joyous day is it was suppose to be. I had planned this day out very thoroughly. Every single detail was not to be amiss. Everything was supposed to be perfect. I had arranged and reserved everything I could think of as a surprise for Heero. After all he is sick and didn’t need any stress. I was delighted that morning when I woke up. I went to go make sure everything was in order. But I remember seeing his face in the morning, it was peaceful and pale, but it was always like that. I left him sleeping, because I didn’t want to interrupt such a peaceful face.

I heard china breaking and went to investigate what had happened. I walked slowly and saw our maid standing there in shock. I asked her what’s wrong and why she didn’t pick up the broken china. The maid just looked shocked as she covered her mouth in horror. She ran out crying and panicking as she hugged me saying she was sorry. At first I thought that she was ignorant to just cry over some broken china, but I look at my husband and knew why. But in denial, I asked her why she was crying. For a moment she stopped crying and just stared at me in disbelief.

I smiled at her sadly, yet I already knew why she was at this state. She stuttered in the very words that I didn’t acknowledge and the very thing I didn’t want to acknowledge. I acted like fool that doesn’t know what had become of her husband. I became stiff and let her go. She stumbled back, crying silently. I was still in denial and ran into my room. I started to shake my husband gently, so he’d wake up, but his eyes never opened. I was crying and laughing all at once saying and repeating that he was just sleeping. I had to wake him up, so we’d be able to go on the surprised celebration for our anniversary. After doing that for a half an hour in front of the servants and family, I stopped. I turned around and smiled weakly and said that he was just in a deep slumber. But in my heart I knew, I knew why he didn’t wake up. And he never will open those eyes of his to show me how blue it was.

I had finished my report on how life was here and sent it on a ship to England. I was supposed to along with that report/letter, but my husband’s grave is here and I intend to stay as close to him as possible. I may have dated my journal the day of his death, but on that day I had not had the chance to finish it. But now it is April the second. If I do get this journal published I will be more amazed, because the chances of this journal being published is slim. Today, Heero’s funeral, I had given out so many gifts to the guests who attended, but they dared not boast about their fortune, which they naturally did on funerals. I suppose this will be my very last journal that you will read from me. He was only eighteen when he died, and on his gravestone, I called him the ‘deep sleeper’.

Always & Truly,

Relena Yuy