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blackrose Warlord, er Commander of the 1xR Brigade Joined: 08 Mar 2002 Total posts: 2246 |
 Posted: Tue Aug 13, 2002 11:16 am Post subject: Traitor to the Cause (Series) |
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Winner of an award by Breaking Free, the fanfiction recommendation website, Traitor is my third, completed series fic. Begun in 11/2000 and complete 10/2001, it took just under a year to write. Traitor picks up a couple of years after Endless Waltz and attempts to continue the series after the destruction of the Gundams.
The year is AC 199, and the Gundam pilots are the target of a wide-reaching, political witch hunt. Relena's determined to protect them and takes a stand in the only arena she can play. But she pays a terrible price for her actions. Branded a traitor and condemned to die, she lives the life of a political fugitive, comforted only with the knowledge that the man she loves has such a bright future ahead.
Traitor to the Cause
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| Award from Breaking Free, the Fanfiction recommendation site |
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| Psyche Pilot Candidate Location: UK Gender: Unknown |
| Posted: Sun Oct 20, 2002 8:17 pm Post subject: |
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Finally got around to reading this!
Right, firstly, I'd like to say how much I like the basic idea behind the story. I like seeing Relena being the brave, intelligent leader she is shown to be in the series, and it's good to see her protecting the pilots, as well as being protected. In particular, I thought it was realistic that she was still able to work after becoming a fugitive. It made it clear that she still had some supporters; that it wasn't a black-and-white world in which a person is either adored or hated by all.
The ending seemed a bit easy after all she and Heero had gone through - I think it might have helped me to accept it if there had been more about Cathy's mission, and from an earlier point in the story - but I know that a really good ending is very hard to write, and rarely achieved.
The portrayal of the characters was neat - I particularly like your Trowa - and the way in which the six pilots interacted was very readable. It's good to see them all as individuals, and not just as a unit to back up the main characters when wanted.
You could perhaps have included more to make clear Relena's and Heero's thoughts and feelings at various stages, although, that would have been tricky to manage without getting bogged down.
I think my favourite section was the early middle part; I liked seeing the old lives disappear to be replaced by something new and different, and perhaps more real... almost more solid than before.
So, all in all, good work! ^_^
Agape
Psyche
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| blackrose Warlord, er Commander of the 1xR Brigade Joined: 08 Mar 2002 Total posts: 2246 |
| Posted: Mon Oct 21, 2002 1:56 am Post subject: |
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| Psyche wrote: |
| Finally got around to reading this! |
I'm afraid to ask what that really means....
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| Right, firstly, I'd like to say how much I like the basic idea behind the story. |
Not the writing or anything you did with it, Rose, but the idea is good. *lol* (teasing)
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| I like seeing Relena being the brave, intelligent leader she is shown to be in the series, and it's good to see her protecting the pilots, as well as being protected. In particular, I thought it was realistic that she was still able to work after becoming a fugitive. It made it clear that she still had some supporters; that it wasn't a black-and-white world in which a person is either adored or hated by all. |
Thanks, Psyche. It started from a fairly basic desire to turn their typical roles on their heads and reverse them. Oh how tangled it got from there...
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| The ending seemed a bit easy after all she and Heero had gone through |
Well...I tried not to make it seem that way. She wasn't let off scott free, she was banned from holding office, and humiliated, in a way, in front of her peers, and people were booing her... Wufei did a very noble and honorable thing, and it was my first time trying to get inside that boy's head, but on the whole, it was not, in my mind, a fairy tale ending. So, maybe that didn't come wholly across, but that was the intention. Positive in certain respects, not so positive that it was unrealistic. If I could have achieved that, it would have been on target. If I didn't with you, well, then I guess I'll try harder next time. 
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| - I think it might have helped me to accept it if there had been more about Cathy's mission, and from an earlier point in the story - but I know that a really good ending is very hard to write, and rarely achieved. |
Especially by me. -__-;;;
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| The portrayal of the characters was neat - I particularly like your Trowa - and the way in which the six pilots interacted was very readable. It's good to see them all as individuals, and not just as a unit to back up the main characters when wanted. |
Thank you. I never saw them in the series as "supporting" characters to begin with. They each had their own personalities and missions, and none seemed, for a good portion of the show, any more important than the others. I personally connected with Heero and Rel, so I write them more often as main characters in my fics. But hopefully not in some of the other in-universe projects I hope to find the time to write....
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| You could perhaps have included more to make clear Relena's and Heero's thoughts and feelings at various stages, although, that would have been tricky to manage without getting bogged down. |
Well...Perhaps. It's been a long time since *I've* read Traitor all the way through (it makes me cringe at times and then I want to revise it - the same as all my earlier works - so I just stopped reading them), but if I can ever get the time to revise it (and I want to!!!), I'll try to look for that.
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| I think my favourite section was the early middle part; I liked seeing the old lives disappear to be replaced by something new and different, and perhaps more real... almost more solid than before. |
Wow, thanks alot! I do appreciate that. I really wanted to see what their lives might be like after the war. I don't claim to have done an excellent job on that account, but I tried.
Thanks so much for reading, Psyche. I know it had to have been a major time investment (as most of my fics are), so *hugs* thank you and I do appreciate the mostly positive feedback as well. 
Love,
Rose
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| silversong Wicket of Sticky Joined: 14 Jun 2002 Total posts: 463 Location: (sniffs) I miss my trees..... Gender: Female |
| Posted: Mon Oct 21, 2002 7:29 pm Post subject: |
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(cheers, shouts, and is happy)
So, I started reading this one on another site, quite a while ago, and because they didn't have the whole thing, I never knew how it ended. (smiles) I really like the ending. It's sweet. And yes, this is coming from someone who typically doesn't like the characters of Heero and Relena.
~Silversong
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| blackrose Warlord, er Commander of the 1xR Brigade Joined: 08 Mar 2002 Total posts: 2246 |
| Posted: Fri Oct 25, 2002 4:16 pm Post subject: |
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Yes, Yes, Silversong, we know.  You don't like Heero and Rel. BLASPHEMY!!!! (teasing) But thank you so much for reading, and for taking the time to respond. I'm very very glad you liked it. 
Love,
Rose
PS - Who knows, we just may convert you yet. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
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| silversong Wicket of Sticky Joined: 14 Jun 2002 Total posts: 463 Location: (sniffs) I miss my trees..... Gender: Female |
| Posted: Fri Oct 25, 2002 7:57 pm Post subject: |
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Converted? (snerk) Good luck. I like my sophisticated bad guys a little too much.
~Silversong
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| shadowcat Bishounen Strip Club Special Guest Location: *blank smile* Gender: Female |
| Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2003 3:48 am Post subject: |
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Rose, i absoutely adore this fic!!!! I love it soooo much that this is the second time i read this fic. but since Shadow is a tad dumb, she forgot to review it.
I read this fic originally from another site. i think its called the 'traces of Love' competition site... can't remember.
i love this fic Rose, its so well very well written and its nice to see Relena's determination to protect the gundam pilots as in most fics, she is described as the 'weaker sex' 
-Shadow
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| blackrose Warlord, er Commander of the 1xR Brigade Joined: 08 Mar 2002 Total posts: 2246 |
| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2003 10:02 am Post subject: |
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| I read this fic originally from another site. i think its called the 'traces of Love' competition site... can't remember. |
O.o I need to get Goldberry's Breaking Free site linked. I don't think I entered it in Traces of Love. I don't think it was complete in time. I entered Dangerous Games and To Honor, though, if I recall....
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| i love this fic Rose, its so well very well written and its nice to see Relena's determination to protect the gundam pilots as in most fics, she is described as the 'weaker sex' |
*hugs* Thanks so much! I really admire Relena and her strength, and am not much for fics that portray her as the 'weaker sex'. We all have our weaknesses, of course, but I think she's too strong of a person to be always dragged about, have no direction of her own, and be basically a pawn for everyone else.
I'm so glad you liked it! *hugs again*
Love,
Rose <--who still hasn't given up on converting Silversong.
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| Pure Fanfic Connoisseur Joined: 24 Jul 2003 Total posts: 102 Location: my world with Gunam Wing ;) Age: 23 Gender: Female |
| Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2003 1:37 pm Post subject: |
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 WOW! im speechless....just WOW!
~Kat~ 
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| kyoki Fanfic Connoisseur Joined: 09 Sep 2003 Total posts: 110 Location: Sittin on "The Rock" Age: 23 Gender: Female |
| Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2003 1:35 pm Post subject: |
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This is such an amazing fic. I just had to reread it 5 times. I cried, i laughed, i threw something out the window when relena was captured (yay for defenestration!! )...I have to say this is one of the best fics i've ever read! I salute you! 
Peace,
Sei
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